Please post Doctor Jokes here! Here's one for starters...

Doctor, Doctor, I've got a steering wheel on the end of my knob and its driving me nuts!

Bad, but classic:

Doctor: You have one month to live.
Patient: I want a second opinion!
Doctor: Okay, you're ugly too.

Not all specifically doctor jokes, but most have some vague tie to medicine:

Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.
Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.

What did the Irishman say to the Englishman?
"I was diagnosed with testicular cancer the other day. Unfortunately I don't have long to live"

Why was the young girl in hospital?
She had been violently beaten by her father.

Why would you never find aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

Okay the 4th one is the only one that makes some sense, but they all are pretty stupid...

:confused: what the hell?

What the hell #3?

yeah, What the hell!??

Corsair you must have mistaken. Those aren't from a jokes site but probably a dumb 3-year old riddles page. Those aren't even distinctly funny...

The patient demanded, "Doc, I must have a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung transplant, and a heart transplant."

"WHAT?" yelled the doctor. "Tell me, exactly why you think you need all these transplants."

"Well," explained the patient, "my boss told me that I needed to get reorganized."

Is it ok to post some dirty ones ?

Doctor: Holds up an image its a square with a dot in it. then ask the patient what he see
Patient: its a room with a bed with a women in it. In which I go in and have sex
Doctor: holds up an image with two squares with two dots.
Patient: Two rooms with beds and women, I go have sex with first women then into the second room and have sex with the second women
Doctor: Holds up image with Four Squares with dots in them
Patient: sex room1, sex room2, sex room3, sex room4
Doctor: Hold up image with Sixteen squares with dots in them
Patient: Looks at the doctor in a puzzled expressions
" Doc your a Sex maniac"

edit: messed up

Corsair you must have mistaken. Those aren't from a jokes site but probably a dumb 3-year old riddles page. Those aren't even distinctly funny...
The humour lies in the fact that are not funny. The reader expects humour but doesn't get it. Then he laughs at how unfunny the joke is.

See also:
Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street.
The first nun says, "Have you ever come this way before?"

The second nun replies, "No, I usually take the longer route to avoid these cobbles."

Much funnier than "normal" jokes.

Righ............... t.

The humour lies in the fact that are not funny. The reader expects humour but doesn't get it. Then he laughs at how unfunny the joke is.

While this does apply to dead baby jokes, they doctor ones really are awful.

If the more unfunny the better, jokes wouldn't be jokes due to the unfunniness.

that was a goody #10

(this is a joke I fabricated) An insane person needs a new brain and the doctor is speaking.

"Ok, Mr. Bush, your brain transplant will be tomorrow at 2:00."

"2:00? I already have something scheduled."

"Why, what do you have scheduled already?"

"I have to be at the White House to help Laura cut up all the social security cards."

"..."

"Oh, crap! Now I remember why I was gonna have a brain transplant in the first place..."

A guy sees his doctor and is told he has a huge brain tumor. But there is hope:
'Well, Mr Jones, modern medicine can do wonders. We can give you a brain transplant, and transfer your knowledge and personality, too! You won't even notice the difference. The only drawback is that no insurance will cover this, so you have to pay for it yourself!'

Delighted, Mr Jones demands to know the price.

'Well, I have a motorcyclist's brain here; he broke his neck yesterday, it will be $15,000. And a housewife's one, fell off a ladder, poor gal. $2,500 after taxes'

'Why's the female one so cheap?'
'You see, it's been used!'

I got a really good one.......

A Blonde was complaining thath she broke all the bones in her body and goes to the docter. She says " When I touch my foot it hurts, when I touch my chest it hurts and so on." So the doctor takes X-rays and comes out and says I have good and bad news. First the good news, you did not break all the bones in your body but the bad news is that you broke your finger.