:rotfl: I can't take credit for finding this gem (http://chappie.stanford.edu/archives/1999-2000/freshman_issue/simplify/), as it came up in another forum I visit, but it is so funny I almost cried while laughing the first time I read it, and it makes me laugh every time I read it.

That page was purple! :lol:

That page was purple! :lol:

That box was purple.

That box was purple.

But but but... isn't "was" a verb? And the only verbs you are allowed to use are biking and being. So wouldn't it be "That box being purple" ? And he didn't not include conjunctions. So many conjunctions!
It was funny, but sorry, I had to be a jerk.

But but but... isn't "was" a verb? And the only verbs you are allowed to use are biking and being. So wouldn't it be "That box being purple" ? And he didn't not include conjunctions. So many conjunctions!
It was funny, but sorry, I had to be a jerk.

Well, "was" is a form of "to be"... but otherwise you're right. :) However, I think if he had mentioned all of those conjunctions and prepositions etc. that it would just have made it less funny.

Bike to Johnson's box for an hour.

"The Compass is broken. There's a witch. We're gonna Die out here in these woods."

Becomes:

"Just bike east on Johnson."

:rotfl:

The following statistics were printed in the magazine Russian Life, all in a row and in the same order as below. Draw your own conclusions...
95%: number of Russian schools not in compliance with fire regulations
15,000,000: Russian schoolchildren in 2001
5,000,000: Russian schoolchildren estimated in 2007

becomes:

the following math was being in Johnson.
7: boxes without math
7: sticks in an hour
7: sitcks next hour

"all your base are belong to us"

All your boxes be ours

double post

All of our usernames become: "Johnson"
I would go nut trying to find a particular person!

There is no purple box. I biked.

It was purple box biking!

LOL => Biking East <no adverbs>. :be: