Narrator: The year is 4000 AD, and a new city by the name of Springfield has been built in the wilderness. The people rejoiced, for finally they would cast off their barbaric ways and build what the scientists were dubbing a “civilization”. But who would lead them on their glorious quest? One man must answer the call. One man must use his wisdom, intelligence, courage, cunningness, and sometimes his compassion, to make strategic decisions that would grow Springfield into a city of might. That man……………is HOMER SIMPSON!

He had dreams of one day reaching the stars……ah who was he kidding, he would never travel into space!

When word reached other barbarians of this attempt to build a civilization, they laughed it off, “Oh, they think they are INtelligent CANnibals…..HA HA HA HA HA”. Using this mockery as fuel for his fire, Homer defiantly named his people the INCANs. They are an aggressive group, with a love for battle and a genius for financial gain. Their warriors are fierce and have been dubbed “Quechua”. Word had spread that a new discovery allows warriors to shoot pointed sticks at the enemy from afar. Outraged by this cowardly way of fighting, the Quechua have made a solemn vow to destroy these so called “Archers” at any cost.

In his effort to lead Springfield Homer has assembled a band of trusty advisors:

Domestic Advisor – Marge Simpson – My goal is to make sure all of my cities are happy and healthy. I’ll be keeping close eye on them to be sure we are sending enough soldiers out for Bart to play with, and keeping money flowing in so Lisa can keep on top of her studies.

Finance Advisor – Mr. Burns – I’ll be ruling the coffers with an iron fist. My secret goal is to sell Springfield to the Germans for a pretty penny, then buy it back a few turns later for half the price when they find out what a mess Homer has made of it.

Civic Advisor – Mayor Quimby – I uh, will be making sure the cities are full of beautiful women to uh, keep the people happy. Burns won’t notice if I skim a little off the top.

Foreign Advisor – Apu – I speak many languages and will help Homer converse with other nations. We can rule the world through peaceful negotiation and earning the respect of other rulers. All transactions will be concluded with a friendly “Thank you, come again”

Military Advisor – Bart Simpson – Carnage….mayhem….pillaging…..bwa ha ha ha ha!

Science Advisor – Lisa Simpson – Homer might not think we can make it to the stars, but it is my goal to get us there. Surely this would cause all others to bow down to our genius and acknowledge us as rightful rulers of the world.

Religious Advisor – Ned Flanders – We are going to have a goo-diddly-ood time making sure the people worship the gods. Temples in every city, missionaries to spread the faith…..whooo…I am getting dizzy thinking about it….

Homer: Shut up Flanders. Lisa tells me the year is 4000 BC, and the city of Springfield is founded. I’ll hire an artist to create a crude stone drawing of our soon to be impressive village.

Homer: Woo Hoo! Floods plains as far as the eye can see.

Burns: Don’t forget about the gold nearby. Let’s research mining and start making money $$

Homer: We will build Springfield as quickly as possible. Once we get three citizens in the fields we’ll train a worker to build some farms and a settler. Our second city will be built nearby on the river to let it grow quickly too.

Lisa: Let’s research a religion, that will give Ned something to do.

Bart: I have sent “Nelson” a fierce Quechua to scout nearby lands.

Ned: Word has reached Springfield that a religion called Buddhism has been founded. Some years later we have our own religion. I wanted to call our religion Christianity, but I lost a bet with Apu. As payment he demanded we call it Hinduism. The rest of the world will call it that, but deep down I’ll know the truth.

Bart: Nelson has reported back that he has encountered a civilization called the “Romans to our northeast. The prophets have told me that Caesar will one day build a warrior called a “Praetorian” that will be our bane. We should crush them quickly.

Homer: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Let’s build up three cities to have three citizens each. It shouldn’t take long with all the flood plains and extra food. While they are growing we will build barracks. After that we will start training Quechua. They are easier to train than an Archer, who will probably be the defenders of Rome until they discover metals. When we tell the troops the Romans are using the hated Archers their battle fury should allow us to overrun the city. Nelson, continue to explore while we set our plan in motion, and Lisa will work on teaching us about metals so we can be prepared if the war against Rome escalates.

Lisa: We've already uncovered another religion, "Judaism". When I told Ned he just mumbled something under his breath and stormed off....

Funny that your username is based on Futurama :p

Anyway, great going so far :) Glad to see the some of the first real "Story Reports" in Civ 4. Keep it up!

Bart: Word from Nelson is that he encountered a small village of hostile warriors but was able to defeat them. He also made contact with “Germany” further to the east, followed by “Malinese”. As he explored northward from his eastern position he managed to swipe some gold from a small village and escaped before they caught him! Far to the northeast he encountered “India”. Since Nelson is so far to the northeast let’s send Jimbo out to the west to search for riches.

Jimbo: A friendly village provided me with a Scout, Millhouse, to further help us explore! He discovered some gold in a nearby village and the last I saw him he was headed north.

Millhouse: Report from the field - Lion Attack….STOP….Survived, Healing, Pushing Northward.

Homer: Hmm, never knew the little runt had it in him. I thought those lions would tear him to shreds.

Milhouse: Report from the field - Americans North…STOP…Two Lion Attacks…STOP…Am I cursed?

Ned: Good news Homer! “Hinduism” (snicker) has spread. Soon all people will join us in praise of the one true religion. It’ll be fine and dandy like cotton candy!

Lisa: We have just uncovered new secrets. The scientists working on the project say that Confusionism is the one true religion.

Ned: Drat those He-diddly-eathens!

Bart: We received word that hostile barbarians overtook Millhouse but that his encounters with the lions made his muscles lean and stringy in their stew. They request that we fatten up our next scout before sending him out to die. Also, our Quechua are growing weary of waiting…

Homer: Tomorrow we march on Rome! Tonight, we do the hustle! WOO HOO!

Bart: I have asked our Axeman “Barnie” to lead our forces. I have had an artist prepare a portrait of our march.

Marge: Tell them not to forget a change of underwear! Those Romans wear nothing under their Togas…..ewwww…

Barnie: Rome is under siege. The Archers are entrenched defenders and are backed by Spearmen but they are no match for our Quechua fury.

Moe: Ha. Stupid Romans. Let’s wipe those wine drinking, toga wearers from the map.

Barnie: THEY DRINK WINE!!! BASTARDS!! YAAAARGGHHH!

Moe: Uh….bad news Bart. Barnie was killed on an ill advised charge against the Archers. Casualties were heavy, but the city is ours!

Burns: Excellent!

Quimby: Send uh, 20 Roman maids to Springfield immediately for initiation into Incan culture.

Ned: Finally! We see the light! Christianity is founded in Rome. Those Romans are an advanced civilization!

Love the usage of Simpsons in this story ? I may have to start a Friends series when I get my hands on Civ4 ;)

WHy do'nt you rename your cities/units?

What about Ogdenville and Shelbyville?

Name some of your cities that.

Bart: Secure Rome. We are sending fresh troops toward Cumae, once Rome is under control we will leave a garrison there and send the rest of the troops to join the siege.

Marge: Homie…A barbarian city has been spotted in the South. Those barbarians are so untidy!

Homer: DOH-eth! Bart, divert some forces south, I want that city taken also.

Bart: Both cities are now under our control. My empire….I mean….your empire is growing Homer.

Marge: Enough fighting! Springfield is a cesspool. I want this place cleaned up pronto!

Bart: No Dad! We have chased the Romans into the jungles to the North. We need to wipe up their two remaining cities.

Homer: Listen to your mother boy! There is no iron or copper in the jungles. The Romans pose no threat.

Burns: Let them dangle in the wind….slowly…slowly….thinking they are secure…as all the while we remain ready to pounce!

Lisa: Now that we are in a time of peace let’s use our war drums for other purposes! I have recently discovered Music and a Great Artist “Disco Stu” has joined Springfield.

Disco Stu: Disco Stu likes disco music.

Homer: What the hell is disco? Change your name to Homer, all great men will now be named Homer. Go build a disco hall in Cumae, that great work will let us control the lands all around and keep some Iron away from the enemy.

Bart: Homer, we need to do something about the Malinese. They built a city south of Cumae and is awfully close to our borders. If we are going to expand we’ll need to deal with him sooner or later.

Lisa: We don’t need to expand. With our surplus of gold we can research technologies and conquer the stars.

Apu: Or rule the world through peaceful negotiations.

Bart: I heard that Germans are great beer makers, but if you don’t want to have our civilization border theirs then we’ll let others control that territory.

Homer: Sound the war drums! MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmm…..beer.

Bart: Niani was no match for our military might. Our troops are gaining valuable experience with every battle. No other nation will have troops as battle ready as the Inca!

Lisa: We have developed a new technology that lets us throw objects high into the air. With this we hope to reach the moon. Ralph Wiggum has been selected as the first to ride into space.

Homer: What say you Ralph?

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Homer: How about we use it to throw big rocks at Walata instead?

Bart: Great idea Homer! Walata has fallen under our control!

Um...your research is at 0%? Not a good idea in this game. Research is a lot more important in Civ IV than in Civ III.
Maybe your increased maintenance is the result of having too many cities near the begining of the game?

Good idea about renaming. I am already well into this game though, maybe next time.

I had research at 0 for a few turns to get $ to upgrade my Quenchua to Axemen. They all had a lot of experience (as you can see) so I wanted to keep them fighting!

You can actually rename your units right now :) Just click on their name on the bottom-left box of the interface. It'd be fun to see a scout named Nelson.

Hm, yeah, good point on the upgrades. You seem to love war ;)

Keep it up! Funny stuff.

Love it! It's great to read this story while imagining the characters' voices. I'm kicking myself that I didn't think of it first!

|337! Simpsons! w00t!

I have about another 1000 years played, I just need to post the screenshots and writeup when I get home from work.

I thought it was hilarious that my great artist was actually named Homer (I didn't change the name)

Needless to say, I opened a can of whoop on the AI. FYI - Noble Level

Excellent writing!

But you should have founded Springfield _on_ the hill with the gold mine. It would have given you +1 gold, and if that is a plains hill (and not grassland), +1 hammers. So you can have a starting city with 2 food, 2 hammers, and 2 gold!

True, later you can't mine the gold for +3, but as soong as you discover mining you get the + :) benefit of the gold - without having to build a mine on the tile. This is particularly useful if you don't actually have a worker yet!

Founding your city on a resource is a great way to get a big head start in the early game. And founding it on a hill gives you bonus defense - 25% for the hill and 20% for your archer's special ability. And plains hills give you a bonus hammer.

:lol: Love the Simpsons! Can't wait for more! :goodjob:

Bart: Dienne has also fallen. We have pushed the Malinese back to their core

Apu: The world trembles at our miltary might. I recommend we demand the Americans give us fish, and the Indians give us clams. These would make excellent squishy flavors.

Homer: MMMMMmmmmmmmm…..clam flavored squishy………DO IT!

Apu: They have wisely decided to accommodate our demands rather than face our wrath. Germany has also sent an emmisary asking for our extra iron.

Homer: The Germans have no iron? What the hell have they been doing this whole time?

Apu: Apparently they quibbled over whether or not to build a wall. In the end they decided to build three World Wonders instead.

Bart: Let’s crush them, their defenders are longbowmen and Lisa has just taught our infantry a new weapon called a mace. Some have even learned how to fight while on horseback, we call these warriors Knights and the enemy will tremble at their thunderous charge.

Ned: Don’t do it Homer. The Germans are our allies and brothers in faith!

Bart: They’ve got beer…….

Marge: Uh Homer. Walata has changed allegiance to Germany, apparently the villagers admire the Wonders they possess.

Homer: BART! I thought you said the city was secure. Why you little!

Bart: CHOKE….GAG…..SPUTTER…..

Homer: Apu, make peace with the Malinese. Bart, let me know how the war with Germany turns out, I’ll be at Moe’s.

Bart: The war goes well. Walata was quickly re-taken, and we secured Cologne as well in order to remove the cultural influence on Walata. We will plan a dual attack, on Frankfurt to the south and Munich to the north.

Bart: The war on Germany is going well. They have no response to our armies of Knights and Catapults. We pressed them on both their northern and southern flanks and both Munich and Frankfurt now below to the mighty Incan empire.

Apu: The Romans have demanded that we cancel our dealings with the Americans. I see no reason to comply.

Homer: Drool……snore.

Bart: Dad’s drunk, that means I’m in control. Let’s wipe those Romans off the face of the earth.

Lisa: Is it a good idea to start a war on our Northern front when we are fighting the Germans far to the East?

Bart: Shut up Lisa-know-it-all. Caesar’s forces are weakened, and his troops have moved to the north in a heated battle with the Americans. The time is ripe to finish what we started a millennia ago. Cancel all science spending in order to upgrade our troops.

Lisa: Mommmmmmm!

Marge: My hands are full trying to figure out how to make schnitzel to keep these Germans happy…you two are on your own!

Bart: As always, I am right. Caesar’s forces are weak, Archers and Spearmen to stand up to our mighty seige engines and mounted troops. Our bombardment of the city terrified the locals and destroyed the moral of the Roman resistance. The Romans will be the first civilization wiped from existence.

Nelson: HA HA

Bart: Their last city is to the North. It will take us some time to reach it, but we will soon wipe them out and make the world forget the name of Caesar!

Ned: Be as gentle as possible. They are Christians!

Quimby: Be sure to ah, send us some more Roman maidens.

Bart: The seige of Berlin has begun. Once the city falls we’ll control two world wonders. The third is in Hamburg.

Nelson: Our troops report a small German city has sprung up to the SW of Frankfurt. We’ll have to double back and conquer that city too. I recommend Ralph lead a small band in this mop up duty, he is useless on the front line.

Ralph: I bent my wookie.

Burns: I see we are working on a concept called banking to swell our coffers. Excellent. Bart, while the troops are on the march ask them to round up some gorillas, cats, gophers, greyhounds, turtles, robins and other animals. I need a new wardrobe.

Smithers: I think you look great sir.

Lisa: I hired an artist to paint a world map. At some point we should build some ships to see what other continents exist. Surely we haven’t met everyone who inhabits this world.

Bart: I’m not wasting time with trivial matters. We all know the world is flat! I won’t send ships past our borders only to watch them fall from the world! Besides, there are still plenty of enemies to conquer.

Nelson: We have Hamburg surrounded.

Homer: Mmmmmmm....hamburg.....drool....

Bart: Quiet! You are going to wake up Homer. I'm having fun!

Marge: Enough conquest! I am having a hard enough time. The Romans need wine and togas, the Germans need beer and leiderhosen, and I don't know what to do with these Malinese! I can just imagine what the Americans and Indians need....no thanks!

Patti: Maybe you can find yourself a good American and dump this loser Homer.

Selma: Speaking of dumps. You call this a palace? I hear that Delhi is the most beautiful city in the world, with several wonders. Maybe you should pay a call on Asoka.

Bart: You two get back to work at the DMV. I need that Dept. of Mounted Vehicles to train more knights.

Apu: We negotiated peace with Caesar. We can't reach his city for some time and he may still be of some use to us. Thank you, come again!

Ralph: Bart, Essen has been captured. The German civilization has been destroyed. Can I have my glue back?

Homer: Ooooohhhh my head. What’d I miss?

Bart: The Germans are defeated.

Homer: Did you plunder their beer?

Bart: I saved you the finest kegs!

Homer: WOO HOO! Keg party!

Bart: Oh yeah, we declared war on Caesar.

Lisa: Unnecessarily I might add. He had just taught us how to make a tasty salad.

Homer: Lisa, you don’t make friends with salad.

Homer/Bart (dancing): You don’t make friends with salad! You don’t make friends with salad!

Apu: Actually if we donated some of our crops to our neighbours that WOULD strengthen our relations with them.

Homer: Hmmmmm…..make friends eh? That gives me an idea. (Homer pounds sign into the ground at our borders saying KEEP OUT UPON PAIN OF DEATH).

Apu: A ship has arrived on our shores with word of an Aztec civilization from a far off land. They are not very advanced, they had never even seen a hot dog machine!

Smithers: But Montezuma's head dress is to die for!

Lisa: We are learning about the printing press. I feel this will lead to further riches. Plus I'll be able to start a newspaper, The Thinkin Incan.

Bart: I sent knights into America and India to scout their lands. India is isolated on a NE peninsula but America seems to have abundant land to the NW. The Malinese have only four cities. Although they match us in technology our superior numbers should let us easily overwhelm them.

Ned: MUST we destroy every other Christian nation?

Homer: HA HA, Stupid Flanders.

Bart: We have troops prepared to invade Gao on the east and Awdaghost on the west. When we have these cities under control we will converge on their capital in the middle. Their last northern city will fall soon after.

Homer: Why are we only making 3 gold! With all of our cities we should be swimming in money!

Burns: Hmmmmm. I'll look into it. (Bide your time Monty....)

Quimby: I don't know what the problem could be.

Lovejoy: Whew. I have completed a shrine to Christianity in Rome.

Ned: Praise Jesus! Now I know where you'll be every day when I have questions!

Lovejoy: Homer, do you need a volunteer for missionary work?

Bart: Our forces approach Awdaghost. The ground shakes at our approach, and the wails of terror from the women and children can be heard for miles. Although they should have no fear, for we are not barbarians, their despair will surely sap the strength from the city defenders. We will settle in for a long seige and bombard the city.

Bart: Gao shares the same fate.

this is awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope you continue.

can't wait untill they can get their handz on nukes!!!!!!!!

Updates will be slower now, this is as far as I have gone in the game.

If you are interested in particular screenshots let me know. I have multiple saves so I can post a screenshot of something that has already happened if there is interest.

haha wow, i kept refreshing 'cuz it was such a good read. def. great spin on things - u def. got the characters down pretty good. hopefully w/ some cattle lunchlady doris will be able to stop using gym mats for food.

more please

He had dreams of one day reaching the stars……ah who was he kidding, he would never travel into space!

What, did you forget that classic "Homer goes into space" episode ("I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality I could be helpful in roundng up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.")? For shame. :nono:

What, did you forget that classic "Homer goes into space" episode ("I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality I could be helpful in roundng up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.")? For shame. :nono:

The comment was made tongue in cheek.

I loved that one.

"I would like to reassert my loyalty to the human government- for the moment"

Great story. Really nice to imagine the characters actually saying their lines. Hope someone from Fox sees this thread and decides to make a new episode based on it.

I loved that one.

"I would like to reassert my loyalty to the human government- for the moment"

Heh, yeah, and the HAIL ANTS! poster he hastily ripped down.

"Our new Employee of the Month is....this inanimate carbon rod!"

Great job! Looking forward to more.

The game is now finished, should be able to conclude the story tonight.

Feel free to post your own Simpsons story, there are hundreds of ways you can go with this.

Great job, I have played with the incas as well but landed on a island alone :(
Can you please post a few saves?

Early or late game?

Bart: The Romans forces are depleted, only a single wounded bowman remains.

Nelson: HA HA

Lisa: I think he is really hurt.

Nelson: I said HA HA

Homer: To mark the day we put an end to the Romans with our macemen, this day will henceforth be known as WHACKING DAY.

Bart: But who are we going to whack next year? The Romans are annihilated.

Homer: I dunno. We'll whack some snakes or something.

Burns: In defeating the Romans our coffers swell. Let's have a great engineer build us something.

Lyle Lanley: I have just the thing. It's the latest, it's the greatest. It's a Monorail.

All: What'd he say?

Lyle: Monorail!

Leonard Nemoy: Uh, I hate to point out the obvious, but you aren't technically advanced enough to build a monorail. The best you can do is Versailles.

Lyle: Beat it big ears.

Bart: What a busy year for us! The Romans are defeated. Work has begun on the monorail, and both Gao and Awdaghost have been assimilated into our empire. Our troops march on Timbuktu, once it falls Mansa Musa will only have Kumbi Saleh as his last bastion of hope.

Lisa: I am working on a concept called Military Tradition. Our scientists are confident that once we develop this concept we will be able to re-train our knights with new and better weapons. It is clear Homer has no interest in reaching for the stars, so I might as well help you get this conflict over with as quickly as possible.

Marge: Now I don't want you two to be in direct competition with each other.

Homer: Too late Marge...the scientest team is up against the miltary team in "hockey" this week.....FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. One of you will be praised and showered with my love, while the other will be booed and scorned until my throat is raw. My two kids will be competing for my love.

Marge: We have three kids Homer.

Homer: What has Maggie ever done? Nothing for nobody.

(Maggie intercepts a Malinese assassin's arrow just before it hits Homer in the head)

Marge: Hrrmmm

Homer: Burns, start saving money. If we are going to re-train all these knights it is going to cost a fortune.

Apu: Uh....do you need me any more. Looks like you just want to declare war on everyone and my hands are full with these octuplets.

Homer (waiving hand): You are dismissed.

Bart: We have bombarded Timbuktu to weaken the resolve of the defenders, and sent our four catapults on suicide attacks against the city.

Bumblebee Guy (inside Timbuktu): Ey-yey-yey.

Bart: The defenders have been suitably weakened, our troops will soon take the city Homer.

Homer: There is no Homer. From now on I will be known as Max Power.

Max Power: Max Power. The name you'd love to touch! But you mustn't touch!

Kent Brockman: I'm Kent Brockman, coming to you with this special report, "Siege 1575". The Malinese are surrounded. Their situation is hopeless. Will they surrender, or will their streets be filled with blood. Let's go live to Arnie at the scene with the latest.

Arnie: Thanks Kent. Our troops are taking a break from the seige to get some well earned rest before the battle tomorrow. One of them was having a drink around the campfire when all of a sudden his drink went up in smoke. They are calling the drink the Flaming...

Moe: Moe. It's a Flaming Moe. I invented it, and I'm Moe, it's a Flaming Moe.

Kent: Arnie, please tell us what is going on INSIDE the city.

Arnie: Well I can't see through WALLS Kent.

Kent: I know you are upset at not being the anchor, but now is not the time.

Arnie: WHEN IS THE TIME KENT! WHEN IS THE TIME! I'M TIRED OF REPORTING THE NEWS, I AM JOINING THE FORCE AND I'LL MAKE SOME NEWS.

Bart: Timbuktu is ours. We'll now send our catapults on suicide attacks against the last Malinese city and they will be no more.

Homer: I have a better idea. Let me teach you how to fight. Fake and injury and cry like a girl. Your opponent will turn away from you.

Bart: And?

Homer: That is when you kick him in the back.

Bart: Ha! Our catapults did just that. I sent three of them on attack runs against the city and all three managed to withdraw from combat!

Bart: The Malinese are defeated. By the way, what happened to Max Power?

Homer: Who in the what now?

Carl: See ya later Homer, we are all going off to celebrate.

Homer: Where?

Lenny: Uh...nowhere.

(Homer follows)

Homer: A secret society! How could I not know about this. I want to be a member!

Number One: The Stonecutters are a 1500 year old secret organisation "who, since ancient times, have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth"

Abe: I'm a member!

Homer: Woo Hoo!

Stone Cutters:
Who controls the Incan crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
WE DO! WE DO!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
WE DO! WE DO!
Who holds back the Incan car?
Who makes Disco Stu a star?
WE DO! WE DO!
Who robs the cave fish of their site?
Who arranges every fight?
WE DO! WE DO!

Bart: Captain Horatio McCallister (The Sea Captain), is drunk again. I sent him out to explore and look where he took his ship!

Sea Captain: Aaaarrggghhh. I'm not drunk laddy. Rumor has it, the biggest fish in the world is in this here lake. Goes by the name of General Sherman, and I intend to catch him!

turn up the science man

Lisa: Bad news dad. All our work on the Monorail has been lost. Lyle skipped town and we lost most of the production from that city, but we did manage to retreive some gold.

Leonard Nimoy: I am trying to tell you, it was the Versailles not the Monorail, and you weren't swindled out of your production by Lyle, someone else just built it first.

Homer: Stop talking nonsense. Where did you come from anyway?

Leonard Nimoy: I'll see you in the future.....(beams away).

Homer: I bet the Americans built it. Let's use the money to upgrade all of our knights to cavalry and charge!

Marge: I am bored. I think I'll start a hobby. Maybe I should make pretzels!

Homer: Marge has a good idea, but we don't have open borders with America, it will be hard to sell them there, particularly if I start a war.

Fat Tony: I would be happy to help you smuggle your pretzels into America for a cut of the profit.

(some time later)

Tony: Greetings, Homer.

Homer: Hey! Fat Tony! You still with the mafia?

Tony: Uh... Uh, yes, I am. Thank you for asking. Now, Homer, as you no doubt recall, you were done a favor by our, uh, how shall I say -- Mafia Crime Syndicate.

Homer: Oh yeah.

Tony: Now the time has come for you to do us a favor.

Homer: You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return? Oh, Fat Tony! I will say good day to you, sir!

Fat Tony: I'm afraid it is time to collect my share of the profit....100%. You have 24 hours to come up with the money, and to show you I am serious, you have 12 hours.

(the next morning)

Bart: Fat Tony and the American forces are in a heated battle right outside our borders, in San Francisco. The city is in revolt. I suggest we take this opportunity to mop them both up and be rid of them.

Bart: The latest reports from the field indicate that San Francisco and Seattle have fallen. We divided our forces to take both New York and Atlanta farther north. Resistance in Atlanta was significant, we underestimated their ferocity. The city was taken, but with our remaining troops there was no way we would be able to hold the city if the Americans launched a counter attack, so we razed it rather than letting it fall back into American hands.

Homer: Do they need help with the cleanup? I have a plow around here somewhere that might come in handy. Now where's that jacket....

Ralph: We lost troops in Atlanta? That's unpossible!

Homer: Uh...we might want to turn that science (and education) spending back up now that we have trained all of our knights how to use firearms.

Bart: Who cares? The Americans are on the run.

Homer: Wait, did you say we were marching into New York? (shudders) The last time I was there, they put a boot on my chariot. I had to take a mace to the thing to get it off and it hasn't run well ever since! Burn the city!

Marge: NO! I had a great time there. Let's hold a film festival there. We can get critics from around the globe to come!

To be concluded tomorrow...

Yayyyyyy!!!

I don't care if the save post is earlie or late game just do what you like, or perhapse both?

Funny that your username is based on Futurama :p

Anyway, great going so far :) Glad to see the some of the first real "Story Reports" in Civ 4. Keep it up!

No it isnt, Duff Beer is from the Simpsons.
See:
http://www.lewzworld.com/simpsons/bac-duff.jpg
DUFF

Great story by the WAy.;)

Bart: The Americans are falling back. We have pushed them to the farthest northern part of the continent. All that remain are Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago, and the capital Washington. Washington is surrounded by cavalry, it will be the first to fall. The defenders are weak enough that we don't even need catapult support. The end will come swiftly for the Americans.

Homer: Maybe I should try one of these "guns" we have armed our cavalry with.

Bart: Sorry Homer, there is a 5 day waiting period.

Homer: DOH!

Ned: There is no waiting period to spend time at church!

(Homer pictures Ned with a target on him)

Homer: Tee hee!

(5 days later)

Homer: WOO HOO! Best..invention..ever!

Comic Book Guy: That's my line!

(BLAM Homer shoots Comic Book Guy)

Homer: Marge, close your eyes I have a surprise for you...

Marge: (opens her eyes staring into the barrel of a gun) AH! Homie get that thing out of here!

Homer: If only there were some type of national rifle assocation where I could meet with others and express my love for firearms. Oh well, I'm going to Moe's.

It is not 'The Versailles'. Versailles=Singular. :D

Bart: Say goodbye to the Americans. This lone catapult is all that remains of their once proud civilization.

Defeat the Romans: Check
Defeat the Germans: Check
Defeat the Milanese: Check
Defeat the Americans: Check

It looks like India is next on the chopping block. Bwa ha ha

Lisa: Or we could just leave them alone. We dominate the continent, it might be fun to see how quickly we could reach the stars!

Marge: NOOOO! Let's get this over with, I need a break. I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown or something....oh yeah Homie, we are out of beer.

Homer: AHHHHHH! No beer and no TV invented yet make Homer something something

Marge: Go crazy?

Homer: Don't mind if I do! Wha wha wha....whoop whoopp......doo da..dee diii

Burns: It's almost time Monty....

die americans

Bart: We have once again cancelled science spending to upgrade our troops to riflemen.

Lisa: Ugh. If anyone needs me I'll be in my room (sax music can be heard)

Burns: The time is at hand. For millenia I have watched you bungle across the continent. Using funds I have skimmed from the coffers through the years I have paid the riflemen handsomely for their support. I control the army, so I will control the world!

Homer: Doh!

Burns: Under the NEW Incan rule there will be no Scotsmen, old people will be shipped across the continent to the Aztecs, there is no drinking, no music and no science spending. Excellent!

(the next day at a secret town meeting)

Quimby: People, take it easy. We're all upset about Mr. Burns' plan. It is time for decisive action. I have here a polite but firm letter to Mr. Burns' underlings, who with some cajoling, will pass it along to him or at least
give him the gist of it. Also it has come to my attention that many of you are stroking guns. Therefore I will step aside and open the floor.

Smithers: Mr. Burns was the closest thing to a friend I had, but he said he had no more use for me now that his plan was complete.

Willie: I'm getting shipped over to the Aztecs!

Abe: Me too!

Moe: I lost my bar!

Ghost of Barnie: I lost his bar!

Lisa: He robbed us of music and education!

Homer: He stole my empire! His days are numbered...

Burns: (skipping along merrily) I -- oh, it's you. What are you so happy
about?...I see. I think you'd better drop it. I said, drop it!"

BLAM

Marge: Someone shot Mr. Burns!

Homer: I guess we'll never know who it was, let's capture Lahore.

Homer: WOO HOO! With the capture of Lahore we have acheived a Domination victory in the year 1720. USA! USA! USA!

Marge: Uh Homer, we are the Incans.

Homer: Doh!

Bart: Aww..Look at the horde I was about to throw against the walls of Madras.

Homer: (on his way out the door to Moe's) Keep going if you want, my work here is done!

Narrator: Let's see how Homer's exploits stack up against the other great leaders of our time.......































C'mon, you really didn't think Homer could pull this off did you! All he wanted in return was the Dallas Cowboys...a fair trade for the world!

This concludes the Simpsons Civ Story.

Be on the lookout for a spinoff short story "The Fall of Timbuktu" coming soon...

Sweet, my first noble dom. got the same rating. Well done. Maybe you went overboard on the stacks to take down the AI, but solid effort.

Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!

:Trumpet Wails: Nice game.

great read. funny too ;)

Funny, and a good read.

I wish they'd have Scorpio on another episode, though. :( He's one of my favorite characters, even though he was only on once.

Very Good!

maniac seizes east coast:goodjob:

One of the best civ stories ever... up there with the Celtic Peackeepers.
:goodjob:

Why cant somevane do a simpsons mod?
I meen, it alredy is a family guy mod!

i was thinking of making a family guy version of that very creative however i dont no how to get screenshots:blush: peter will b ruler lois will b like marge was stewie is the military commander chris is the space administration meg is (surprisengly) in charge of culture :eek: all other names of charecters i can think of will b in my army :D

o ya i forgot grandpa is in charge of religeon :jesus:

Nice and funny read! Well done! Now I can't decide if I want to get Civ4 or Oblivion for my next purchase...

I'm a pretty big Simpsons fan, so combining Civ 4 with that is candy.

I especially like that good ol' Ralph is in there.