On the left... the before picture. On the right... AFTER Pepe shoots his guns. :lol: :shotgun:

How do you have the patience???? Oy vey! Glorious, may be, but tedious, in this poor bourgeios's opinion.

Arathorn

Fifi: "Pepe le Pew, what ARE we going to do with all these Greek horses once you are done annhilating them?"

Pepe: "The horses? We'll give them a decent burial of course. Now the Greek soldiers, that's another matter."

Fifi: "Pepe!"

Pepe: "Oh for goodness sake, Fifi. I'm only kidding. We'll let Zsa Zsa open a leather factory, I suppose. And don't youre little poodles need something to eat? Yet... so many brave Greeks hopelessly charging into our artillery range. You almost have to admire their complete stupidity, Fifi. I suppose I'll just have to open a glue factory. My my, there really ARE a lot of them out there. Somebody fetch my Ceremonial Matches, please. It is time to Fire the Guns."


After Pepe demonstrated the infallibility of M'eer Mortal aiming... the tanks rolled to mop up.

Pepe le Pew awoke to his right hand, Fifi, vigorously shaking him at the Palace in Athos, in the middle of the night.

"Pepe! Pepe! I have had a vision! Oh, it is most glorious! You must awaken!"

Pepe rolled out of bed, reached for the mini-howitzer by his bedside, fired it at the gas lamp, which ignited to illuminate the royal bedroom. "Fifi?"

"I have come up with a plan to defeat the evil Greeks!"

Pepe rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Oui. I am listening."

Fifi excitedly paced the floor. "The Greeks believe they can stand against us, but we know they cannot. What we must do is SHOW THEM the hopelessness of their situation, Pepe. We must convince them once and for all that they cannot match our glorious artillery."

As Pepe nodded, he yawned hugely. "Uh huh."

Fifi clapped with pleasure. "I knew you would like it!"

Pepe blinked, wondered what it was he had liked, then rolled back into bed as Fifi ran out of the room. Zzzzzzzz...


Two months later, Fifi's Fabulous Frigate was constructed at the shipyards in Cannes. Fifi set sail on this wooden vessel, sailing right up to a Greek City under siege, unconcerned about their naval forces, coastal defenses, or fortified positions.

Using a bullhorn as the frigate sailed past the Greek barracks, Fifi announced, "This is Fifi, and I have come to deliver the decisive blow to your puny forces. Surrender now, or face my guns."

The Greeks did not surrender, and so Fifi, aboard Fifi's Fabulous Frigate, did display such expertise and aim as to fire saltpeter cannon from the side of a swaying wooden ship on a choppy sea... and LAND EVERY SINGLE SHOT UPON THE ENEMY INFANTRY, killing fully one third of them in less than an hour.

So it happened, so the Greeks came to despair, and knew they would be defeated, for No One can possibly cope with the Glorious French Musketeer Artillery.


FIFI's FABULOUS FRIGATE DELIVERS THE KNOCKOUT PUNCH:

1000 units! No wonder Zed vanished from this game a while ago. :lol:

IT 1908AD: I moved a few troops across Greek rails, then cancelled the Right of Passage and all other deals. I drafted a couple dozen mechs, mostly from Japan.

1910AD: Alex demands we move our troops out of his territory. I stare at him in perplexity, as I already did this. He whines and moans about "coastal waters" and I realize I overlooked a ship or two. Good grief, what an @$$. (Ah yes, the convenient excuse I need to declare war on Greece, how perfect!).

The dominoes set up in Rome by Jaffa are knocked down. I disband a conscript inf in one newly captured Roman city and rush an airport on the same turn. Our glorious Para'M'eers are brought in in droves for the final assault.

Nibbled off the southernmost Greek cities, then battoned the hatches, as he has 83 cavalry.

1912AD: Alex spends 12 of his cavalry attacking our cities. He has 71 left. Most of them move in a major SOD toward Pepe's location on the Greek border. (DID THEY SENSE THE THREAT? They threw everything they had RIGHT AT PEPE!)

1914AD: Greece has 10 cavs left. ;)

Oh yeah: conquered Rome. ;) Our glorious Paratroops dropped in on his last three cities and overran their incompetent defenses.

1918AD: Fifi's Fabulous Frigate delivers the DECISIVE BLOW to Greek morale at Phocaea. Their fate is now sealed. (And yes, it actually was a strategically important hit, softening up an infantry for our most forward-advancing tanks to take the city!) Sometimes it's better to be Glorious and Skilled like Fifi than it is to be lucky. :p

1920AD: Pepe marvels at what his Glorious M'eer pilots can do at the helm of a bomber. With Pepe's coordination, French planes are flying over countless cities: the harbingers of doom.

Oh yeah, Pepe burned Athens to the ground. :shotgun: In its place were founded the cities of New Athos, New Porthos, New Aramis, and D'Artagnon. Pepe asked our great general Charlemagne to oversee the construction of the NEW French Palace in D'Artagnon.

1922AD: Greece conquered. Game over.


I played seven turns. Well... six and a half. I did the minimum on the final turn to complete the conquest, and everything else is standing around untouched. Tinker or observe as you please. If you do nothing but hit end of turn, the score is 6311.

There were a couple of moments in my first turns when I had the ground forces to press on, but no bombardment in place, so I had to stop and wait. I was not having that problem any more by the end. Enjoy the replay. ;)


Our Glorious M'eers, etc etc - 1922AD (http://www.civfanatics.net/uploads/rbd5-our-glorious-meers-1922ad.zip)

Hah! Conquest it is! None of these namby-pamby cultural victories for Pepe and Fifi :)

Glorious, I tell you, Glorious!! :hammer:

[dance]

- TEN wonders in Athos
- An *amazing* stack of artillery that could punish such an immense cavalry stack (also showing the utility of denying rubber)
- Milady d'Winter coming in as city #4, with each M'eer city also hitting the top five
- A viciously fast end to it all, I had to re-read the final post twice to fully get it - game over
- 6311 - High score #3 for me, above rbd2 and behind rbd3 and LOTR

- Seeing Pepe fall in love with some one cut from the same mold, darling Fifi! :love2:

That one was well above expectations, both in terms of what I learned about artillery and in making something useful and fun out of the musketeers, but also learning about warmongering governments, paratroopers, helicopters, airlifting, and invading someone's homeland when they own the seas

Thanks to all who participated, well done! :goodjob:

:hammer:
Charis

PS/EDIT - I've changed my Avatar to be...
Pepe L'Meer!!

eep! 1000 units!?! I had enough to do in Infantry, thank you very much!

I SURE AM glad I bowed out some time ago! Not that I haven't been keeping track of our progress... good show folks! :)

Allons enfants de la Patrie
Le jour de gloire est arrivé!

Outstanding!

I downloaded the save file just to gawk at the Most Glorious Empire of France, as well as the most over-the-top Army I have ever seen. I think we have enough troops “lost” and forgotten in the global backwaters to take out a normal civ by themselves.

It certainly has been a long time since India was a serious threat and Rome decided we were weak enough to pull a surprise attack in Burma 8-0.

Thanks to Charis for the concept and running the game, to all the fine folks who took part, and to all the people who thought it worth their time just to follow along.

Vive Les Mousquetaires glorieuse!

Vive l’artillerie Francaise!

Vive Pepe!

Vive Fifi!

Fini!

--Cy