You have probaly seen this before, this is funny as hell.
It appeared in some Bible Thumper Magizine, and has been making the rounds since. 24 APPLY TO ME!!! :goodjob:
Is Your Child a Goth?

Was Salem Correct?

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone
astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,
darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling,
prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.


-Frequently wears black clothing.-Cheak
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.-Cheak
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)-Punk, Rock, and Death Metal-Cheak
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.-Cheak
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.-Cheak
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.-did once a long time ago.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.-depressed once, i guess.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.)
-Complains of boredom.-Cheak
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.-Cheak
-Is excessively awake during the night.-Cheak
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.-Cheak
-Spends large amounts of time alone.-Cheak
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)-Lol...Cheak
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.-Cheak
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this.-Cheak
-Misbehaves at school.-Sometimes
-Misbehaves at home.-Cheak
-Eats excessively or too little-Cheak
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.-LOL
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media-Very little, but Cheak
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may
watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.-HL2 ALL THE WAY!-Cheak
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.-Cheak
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.-Cheak
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.-what the hell...cheak i guess, at parties....
-Expresses an interest in sex.-Who wrote this list?? Cheak
-Masturbates.-Agian, who wrote this out? Cheak
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism.-Im Agnostic, so i guess this fits in.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

READ THIS!!!!
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately.
The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these
problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

While I don't believe in taht bullcrap, some of those things like self-mutilation should be watched.

sorry, but its check you dolt!

I wish i could get away with looking goth- i just dont think i could pull it off

I like now easy it is to get five. Everyone i know is a hard core goth according to it, even my Christian Friends, lol.

sorry, but its check you dolt!

I wish i could get away with looking goth- i just dont think i could pull it off

*Slaps forehead*

oh, and while i agree with you on the bible bashing thing.. people can get tetchy about that language.. perhaps "bible afiliated magazine!"

LOL its fun to go so over the top, they cant complain, but it makes even more ridicule of the situation!

sorry, but its check you dolt!


-From the guy who called everyone a hoe in a typo in a thread.

I dont mean Christians, i mean the rednecks who beat thier wives in Alabama while screaming at thier kids that there going to hell.

I dont mean Christians, i mean the rednecks who beat thier wives in Alabama while screaming at thier kids that there going to hell.

Great sterotype buddy. I suppose I can label you as a emofruitcakegoth?

Thats who probaly made this thing up........
I AM NOT A GOTH

How can they considder Atheists to be 'Goth', if a defining point of being an Atheist is denying the esistance of supernatural beings? (Or at least, not confirming)

Also, most of these are just things that Teens do, but Christian fundies fear/hate.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately.
Heh, more than 5 of those apply to me, but I'm about as goth I dunno, Mr. T.

Moved to H&J

I fit that freeking list! I mean, I am (religiously) Conservative/Reform Jew who is more religious than most Orthodox Jews I know, knows more about Catholicism than anyone I know that goes to my Jesuit Catholic High School, and, did I mention, is religious? That list is total Evangelical conservative right-wing bull.

Heh, more than 5 of those apply to me, but I'm about as goth I dunno, Mr. T.
This is hilaiorus. Im like a polar opposite of goth...and i got 24
:D

18 of those apply to me. Watch out. The devil is in me.

I fit that freeking list! I mean, I am (religiously) Conservative/Reform Jew who is more religious than most Orthodox Jews I know, knows more about Catholicism than anyone I know that goes to my Jesuit Catholic High School, and, did I mention, is religious? That list is total Evangelical conservative right-wing bull.
I hate the neocon-fundemtalist right wing sooo much.

18 of those apply to me. Watch out. The devil is in me.
:satan: :satan: :satan: :satan: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:
*Bows
:D

- Sleeps too excessively or too little. - Um I'm a Junior

- Is excessively awake during the night. - work, junior hello?

- Expresses an interest in sex. - Yea, my god given interest in sex. If people were not interested in sex, there'd be no motivation to reproduce, and our species would eventually die out.

- Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.) - Meditate to speak to evil spirits, meditate to achieve enlightment, same thing right?

- Watches cable television or any other corrupted media - Damn you CNN!!!

- Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. - I refuse to square dance.

- Drinks alcohol. - wtf, that "sentence" is missing the word "excessively" in the end.

- Masturbates. - Would they rather have me having sex? Because I would.

A real goth wount fit many of these sterotypes anyway. Marlin Mason isnt "Goth" its really more crap.
Real "Goths" live in the Northeast
The other sterotype is the neo-nazi, columbine hot-topic kids...
Maybe thier emoths? :D

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture
No its not. Its certainly not mainstream, but its not obscure, at least in england. Also, most goths i know are some of the funniest and happiest people i know.
I rekon id score pretty high on there test, so lets give it a go.

-Frequently wears black clothing.- yep
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.-yep
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish. -no
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols. -no
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. -yep
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. Punk, Rock, and Death Metal-yep (and i would consider christian music to be anti-social here, in that your more likely to be a unsocial nerd if you listen to it :p)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.-yep i do myself
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.-haha yep!
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. -meh, vampire films and such are cool, but i dont take any of it seriously
-Takes drugs. -yep
-Drinks alcohol.-yep (and how does that make you a goth? that makes you NORMAL.)
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.- no
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. -no
-Complains of boredom. -yep
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. -yep
-Is excessively awake during the night. -yep
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. - no
-Spends large amounts of time alone.-yep
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)-LMAO!!! thats a classic bit of advice. all children who want some quiet time alone talk to the devil!
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. -yep
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this. -definitely yep
-Misbehaves at school. -sometimes yep
-Misbehaves at home. -yep
-Eats excessively or too little -yep
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.- hahaha no
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.) -lol no
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media-the god channel is corrupted, anyway yep
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.-yep!
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.-yep
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.-yep sometimes a bit of headbanging
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.-i cant dance in any manner
-Expresses an interest in sex.-Who wrote this list?? yep (again, is wanting a shag really just gothic?
-Masturbates.-Agian, who wrote this out? yep
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. -no
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism.-yep (OMG look at the major religion it classes as dangerous cults. if they think buddhism is a dangerous cult, they need to look in the mirror!)
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". -no
-Claims to be a goth. -no

Farting bob's score: 23
So i think i'd qualify as the antichrist by they're standards. And people wonder why theres alot of athiests when christians come up with crap like this trying to scare people.
person 1: we need to get more people worried about society. think of something scary.
person 2: marilyn manson scares me and my bible loving church!
person 1: Ok, now lets link everything that normal teenagers do anyway to being a big scary goth like Mr manson.
person 2: Good idea!

All these years I've been a Goth without knowing it. I'm dumbstruck. This revelation has opened my eyes.

That's the right attitude, don't bash fanatics, make fun of them! :goodjob: :lol:

Farting bob's score: 23
So i think i'd qualify as the antichrist by they're standards.

:lol: Im 1 more Antichristish than you are!
Its true though. REAL goths are happy, a little strange, and their music is NOT depressing.

:woohoo:I got 8 and I am religious(christian). Since when is philosophy a cult? And expresses interst in sex? Who doesn't?

Christianity is a PHLIOSPIHY...Jesus, i just nocied that...thanks

-Frequently wears black clothing.- yes
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.-yes
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish. -nope
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols. -nope
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. -nope
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. Punk, Rock, and Death Metal- Totally:rockon:!
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.-Define eccentric please(yes).
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.-:hmm:I have never even been to church before.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. -Yes, I love the classic sci-fi (erotic) horror B-movies.
-Takes drugs. -nope
-Drinks alcohol.-nope
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.- 1)nope 2)Yes, like every other person on planet earth:P.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. -Not intentionally
-Complains of boredom. -yes
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. -Yes, cuz I am an insomniac.
-Is excessively awake during the night. -Read above statement;).
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. - nope
-Spends large amounts of time alone.-nope
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)-Yes when I am sleeping:P
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. -yes
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this. - Why wouldn't I?
-Misbehaves at school. -Only when my english teacher pisses me off.
-Misbehaves at home. - Only when my sister pisses me off.
-Eats excessively or too little -yes
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.- nope
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.) -I dunno. Does it taste good:evil:?
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media-No, I watch satellite:p.
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.-Hell Yeah!
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.-:hmm: Then what is thing in front of me right now?
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.-1)No (I can't draw to well:P) 2)Yes
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.-I can't dance to well.
-Expresses an interest in sex.- Who isn't?
-Masturbates.-Why do you care?
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. -Hell No!
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism-Yes (I like Buddha and have one of the statues:D).
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". -nope
-Claims to be a goth. -nope

So inclusion the heathen fiend "The Condor" got a score of: 23:P.

Most kids should land between 12-24
11-1 Your a saint
25-Up Is getting a little strange

I think you have to be dead to get a zero core:P.

It appeared in some Bible Thumper Magizine[sic]I dont [sic] mean Christians, i mean the rednecks who beat thier [sic] wives in Alabama while screaming at thier [sic] kids that there going to hell.I hate the neocon-fundemtalist [sic] right wing sooo much.

That's a wonderful job you've done beating down a straw-man, and I applaud your effort, but no need to smother perfectly moral people with the straw

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.-LOL u meen count chocula right?

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism.
What the HELL?!?!?
Hinduism, Buddhism and Philosophy are dangerous cult religions... I didn't know that. :lol:

this thread smells like teen spirit



that list is really old, for an even older funnier page, look here: is your son a computer hacker? (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html)

How can they considder Atheists to be 'Goth', if a defining point of being an Atheist is denying the esistance of supernatural beings? (Or at least, not confirming)

Also, most of these are just things that Teens do, but Christian fundies fear/hate.

Exactly, most of that applies to any kid, and some of it to any person at all.

Oh, and BTW, TS (you're name's too difficult to look at...) your sig needs to be a maximum of 5 lines (size 2 font) or I think 7/8 (??) size one font. That includes gaps. Just to tell you before th mods do :).

3. Has your child asked for new hardware?

Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer.

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

That's great Jawz! :lol:.

From the Hacker List:

8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"?

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.
Hehehe...

The computer of equivalent of saying Budhism is an evil cult. :rolleyes:

-From the guy who called everyone a hoe in a typo in a thread.

Yeah, that was a bit of a clanger. BUT, it was a typo... not a repeated spelling mistake!

Yeah, that was a bit of a clanger. BUT, it was a typo... not a repeated spelling mistake!

Im sorry, but I don't talk to people who call me a hoe. :shakehead:

(;))

-Sleeps too excessively or too little. (Well, it's 3:30 AM here...)
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. (Define "excessively".)
-Masturbates. (No, not really, but I have such an exotic fetish that Wikipedia lacks an article for it and googling the name gets you nothing. That has got to qualify, judging by the mental state of those who wrote this.)Wow. Only three. Well, I suppose the list could be renamed to "Is Your Child A Non-Autist?" and it would actually be close to working.

-Frequently wears black clothing. Yes
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. Yes
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)-Punk, Rock, and Death Metal Yes
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. Yes
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports. Yes
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. I guess wolves fit in here
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed. All the time
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.) Thought about it
-Complains of boredom. Kind of
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. Yes
-Is excessively awake during the night. Yes
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. Kind of
-Spends large amounts of time alone. Yes
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.) I'm always quiet
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. Don't have any friends
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school. Failed school
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little Yes
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.) Thought about eating raw meat
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media- Don't know
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. Yes
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. Yes
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex
-Masturbates.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. Don't know
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism. I guess therianthropy fits in here
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth. Sometimes
Well, I suppose the list could be renamed to "Is Your Child A Non-Autist?" and it would actually be close to working.Not for me.

I'm not goingto read that list becasue I know I would "be a goth".

I hate stereotyping.

Ah hahahaha! This funny. I know lots of people who would select more than five of these but aren't goth.

-Frequently wears black clothing.-Yes
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.-Yes
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)-Punk, Rock, and Death Metal.-Yes
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically..-Yes
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports..-Yes
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol..-Yes
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.
-Complains of boredom.-Yes
-Sleeps too excessively or too little..-Yes
-Is excessively awake during the night.-Cheak
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.-Cheak
-Spends large amounts of time alone.-Yes
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.).-Yes
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.-Yes
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this
-Misbehaves at school..-Yes
-Misbehaves at home.-
-Eats excessively or too little
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.-LOL
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media-Yes
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.-Yes
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.-Yes
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex..-Yes
-Masturbates.-Yes M'am
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.


Mmmh I didnt count./

Dang 17 your a saint compared to us:P.

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)-Punk, Rock, and Death Metal.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically..-Yes
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports..-Yes
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.-Yes if you count Fantasy (and warhammer)
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol..
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.
-Complains of boredom.-Yes er, it's natural.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little..
-Is excessively awake during the night.- NO, but it's calld insomnia
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.-Yes
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.).-Yes
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.-Yes, er, I am in my mid teens for crying out loud!
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this
-Misbehaves at school..
-Misbehaves at home.-Yes a little bit when I get angry
-Eats excessively or too little
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media-Yes who doesn't? (SOuth park is funny)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.-Yes Morrowind rules
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.-Yes
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. -no, but a lot of dancing is a least a lttle sexual
-Expresses an interest in sex..-Yes it is natural
-Masturbates.-Yes naturaly
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism.-Yes atheist
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

15 points.

complains about boredom whats with that

Since when do sad little goths listen to death metal? They only care about cutting themselves, not about carving up other people. :hmm:

Most fit me, anyway, and I'm quite non-gothic.

There's only a few I won't get, but let's check the exact number:


-Frequently wears black clothing.-yes
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.-yes
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish. - no
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols. - no
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. - yes
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)-Punk, Rock, and Death Metal - yes
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. - yes
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports. - zero interest in prayer or church before, zero interest now, so it's not really declining, but I'll say yes
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. - yes (btw, doesn't christianity involve knowing about satan?)
-Takes drugs. - yes
-Drinks alcohol. - yes
-Is suicidal and/or depressed. - yes
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love.
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health
center.) - yes
-Complains of boredom.- yes
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.- yes
-Is excessively awake during the night. - yes
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. - define unusual? probably a yes
-Spends large amounts of time alone. - yes
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.) - yes (good thing speaking to god through prayer doesn't require time alone and quietness, isn't it? :confused: )
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. - yes
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this. - probably yes
-Misbehaves at school. - no longer at school, but probably yes
-Misbehaves at home. - as above, probably yes as well
-Eats excessively or too little - yes
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. - probably not. Although chickens are used in voodoo, and I had chicken last night.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.) - not really, although it's news to me it's dangerous. I like my steak medium rare, does that count as liking blood?
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media - yes
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. - yes
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.-Didn't know it was possible to use the internet excessively. - yes
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. - yes
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. - yes
-Expresses an interest in sex. - yes
-Masturbates. - yes
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. - not particularly
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism. - yes, and btw, those Hindu goths are everywhere aren't they? And Jesuits are all goths too, philosophising has obviously corrupted them
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". - not those exact phrases, but yes
-Claims to be a goth. - no

31 yes, 6 no, apparently I'm a definite satanist, and a definite goth. So since I'm a goth, I would like a further quiz to answer an important question: ostro or visi?

... So since I'm a goth, I would like a further quiz to answer an important question: ostro or visi?
:lol:
- Have invaded the Iberian peninsula?
- Have expressed interest in pillaging Rome?

Keep away from me, you Satan-worshiping Buddhists! :eek:

31 yes, 6 no, apparently I'm a definite satanist, and a definite goth. So since I'm a goth, I would like a further quiz to answer an important question: ostro or visi?

Hahaha:lol:! The sad thing only a few people will know that but at least I do seeing as to how I am a direct descendant of the Greatest Leader of the ostrogoths (the rome conquerers) so great joke!

Hahaha:lol:! The sad thing only a few people will know that but at least I do seeing as to how I am a direct descendant of the Greatest Leader of the ostrogoths (the rome conquerers) so great joke!

Theoderic lived in the late 5th century from memory. You really know 1500 years worth of your family tree?

- Have expressed interest in pillaging Rome?


When in Rome, do as the Roman invaders do.

Theoderic lived in the late 5th century from memory. You really know 1500 years worth of your family tree?

Theoderic that is it thanks (was driving me insane:P) and for the most part yes but it goes astray at some points but back on topic I wonder what the pope would get on this:mischief:?

Theoderic that is it thanks (was driving me insane:P) and for the most part yes but it goes astray at some points but back on topic I wonder what the pope would get on this:mischief:?

No need to go through the whole list, the pope automatically qualifies on one of the most dangerous ones:

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.)

Drinking blood is part of the catholic mass. So are catholics all trying to attain Satan?

:lol:
- Have invaded the Iberian peninsula?
- Have expressed interest in pillaging Rome?


Yes to both... moreso pillaging (rome).

What the HELL?!?!?
Hinduism, Buddhism and Philosophy are dangerous cult religions... I didn't know that. :lol:
Didnt you hear? A bunch of Buddists went on killing sprees and ate babies. Jeez, what dangerous people.

No need to go through the whole list, the pope automatically qualifies on one of the most dangerous ones:

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.)

Drinking blood is part of the catholic mass. So are catholics all trying to attain Satan?
And the Catholic Church says it literal, not symbolic. AHAHAHA. Probaly made a catholic hater, many fundementalists are.

this thread smells like teen spirit



that list is really old, for an even older funnier page, look here: is your son a computer hacker? (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html)
SWEET JESUS I HOPE THAT SITE IS NOT SERIOUS.

Since when do sad little goths listen to death metal? They only care about cutting themselves, not about carving up other people. :hmm:

Most fit me, anyway, and I'm quite non-gothic.
No, those would be "emoths." The Mason type people. "Real" goths are ONLY found in the northeast, and not AS strange, and are strangley happy too...

observe the mythical edit button http://forums.civfanatics.com/images/turnipgreen/buttons/edit.gif ohhh...you can use it to quote something, copy and paste that text, and then reply, all in a single post! You can also use text of quote here to quote someone. You don't need to write four posts

sorry, but its check you dolt!

I wish i could get away with looking goth- i just dont think i could pull it off
The spelling of some word varies from country to country, it's acutully common knowladge you know.

This is ridiculos, I'm religous guy, and I'm like the utter opposite of a goth so I don't think my seven completly normal habits make me any sort of goth! Probably 9/10 of the people I know are goths according to this. Even my goth hating friend is probably a goth according to this list! Also I do not like time alone with quiet because I am talking to evil spirites, it's moslty to relax.

SWEET JESUS I HOPE THAT SITE IS NOT SERIOUS.

1) Edit button is useful.
2) The site is a joke, it says so somewhere on it.
3) Use the edit button.

The list is taken from a church site, but deleted by it long ago. St. Marys, i belive. A online metal "magazine" picked it up and publised it again.

You mean, it, it's REAL? Or they had it as a joke?

-Frequently wears black clothing.- what do you define as frequently? I'm wearing an all black suit, and I've seen alot of preechers in black suits that they wear alot. And why black? Are these guys afraid of the dark, and dark clothing scares them because it reminds them of the dark?
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.-well there is "Chriastian Rock" so this is self-defeating
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish. -black again! whats wrong with black?
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols. -odd? I wear a pocketwatch with a hammer & sickle on it is that odd?
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos. - like christs piercings through his hands?
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. Punk, Rock, and Death Metal- anti-social? depends on what you define as "socal" hey I'ma "socalist" so is that social enough?
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. I know a preecher that acts eccentric as hell, but atleast he isn't boring
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.-what the Quaran dosen't count? It's a wholesome activity. Or reading Philosophy?
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. - you need an enemy to be good right? So why not make an entire genra of people dislike ya?
-Takes drugs. - asprins are drugs
-Drinks alcohol.- many people in soceity do this, from different perspectives of life
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.- depression is serious, so is being suicidal. But I don't think it's related to "gothic" things
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. - may be linked to depression, or maybe someone gets pleasure from it, hey bud everyone isn't the same revise your ideas
-Complains of boredom. - many teenagers, because they lack a car or don't have money
-Sleeps too excessively or too little. - this may be genetic, and/or caused by enviormental factors
-Is excessively awake during the night. - this may be genetic, and/or caused by enviormental factors
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. - having civil liberties is bad? and demecrats aren't patriotic you say?
-Spends large amounts of time alone.- maybe your shy? and have nobody to talk to...
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)- maybe they want to think, it is normal to be alone, quitely. Hey I bet the person who wrote this was alone in a quite church.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. - who wants to be shaparoned constantly? I mean would adults want their parents following them around? Don't be hypocrytical now!
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this. - Disregards? maybe those people never really cared for him/her. So who really is doing the disregarding?
-Misbehaves at school. - this may be genetic, and/or caused by enviormental factors
-Misbehaves at home. - this may be genetic, and/or caused by enviormental factors
-Eats excessively or too little - this may be genetic, and/or caused by enviormental factors
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.- it's a marketing tool, not a satanic cult (even though there isn't much of a difference between advertising and satanism)
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be
stopped immediately.) - well drinking blood isn't acceptable by many social standards, but I doubt it makes you gothic. Just a Satanist or Vampire
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media- one word, telivangalism
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.- role playing? what if were playing the role of jesus? And you can't say Christians have been the most passive bunch.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.- thats called being modern and being adaptable, not a satanist (is there a difference in their views I don't know)
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.- I've seen people shaking their heads violently at christian concerts... hmmmm
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.- are these people trying to sterolize humanity? People need some type of sexual stimulation, if they aren't having sex...
-Expresses an interest in sex.- every teen, you can't stop hormones nomatter how many times you read the bible...
-Masturbates.- every teen, you can't stop hormones nomatter how many times you read the bible...
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. - well this can be caused by an enviormental or biological stressor
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Atheism, Hinduism and Buddhism.- Satanism-the enemy you need, Scientology-the enemy that defeats you, philosophy-your philisophical ever read the bible?Paganism-Christmas is based (time wise)after a pagan holiday to covert those nastey pagans,Wicca-how many Christians celebrate Holloween?,Atheism-you can't not belive in what you say... okay,Hinduism-they are less harmful than you!,Buhdism-yea how many holy wars were done for Buhdism?
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth". - well those people want to be "gothic" so this works
Revised "are you a goth" test...
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth"
I get a XXIII on the first test and a
0 on the second

The three ones that I think are most crazy are these ones:

Watches cable tv or other corrupted media: Oh no! I watch t.v. I must be evil!:rolleyes:
Masturbates:Seriously, since when is this even a sin??? This is just offensive.
Homosexual or bisexual:Okay, now we're just getting mean.

I didn't know that I am a goth!:lol:

Hopefully this is just a joke because if this isn't then someone could take this article seriously :eek:

I feel sorry for the kid whose parents belive this list. Someone somewhere....

I see that the magazine isn't named....

Anyway the ultra-conservative Christians I know can sometimes act like this. It's actually more sad than funny (but still funny).

I see that the magazine isn't named....

Anyway the ultra-conservative Christians I know can sometimes act like this. It's actually more sad than funny (but still funny).
I dont know the origion of it. I belive a anti-christain rock-n-roll magizine called....NK? dunno...It was from some church called saint mary's.....narrows that down alot:mischief:

Pft. Sorry, my bad for not reading the rest of a thread before posting. ;)

You got 69th post :D