www.4q.cc/chuck

WARNING: This site contains material some perusers may find offensive. Reader discretion is advised.

Yeah, I've been there before. It's hillarious, he's a true legend.

His entry Uncyclopedia is also pretty funny

Chuck noris lost his virginity bfore his dad did
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
:lol:


edit: this one is apropriate for CFC
Alexander the Great conquered Europe, the Mediterranean, North Africa, and most of Asia, the largest empire man had ever known, by the age of 18. Unfortunately, he met a 17-year-old Chuck Norris in India who roundhouse kicked him, his army, and his empire and turned the remaining juice into wine. Then he had sex with Cleopatra, sipping the wine.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

HAHAHAHA!

I actually just found this list on another site and was going to post it here, but now I guess I don't have too. I laughed my ass off when I read that list. :lol:

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Anyone can [pee] on the bathroom floor, but Chuck Norris can [poop] on the ceiling.

Chuck Norris cried wolf, only to beat up the villagers who showed up.

Chuck Norris doesn't get crabs, he gets lobsters.

Chuck Norris once played Jenga. The result was the Empire State Building.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris once hurled his body in the way of an 18 wheeler to save a baby, coincedently while performing his NFL style victory dance he spiked the baby into the ground and performed a perfect moonwalk

There are two kinds of people in this world: People who are Chuck Norris, and people who are going to die.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris does indeed own a house which is round.

Jimmy Hoffa once referred to Chuck Norris as "Charlie Norris." Jimmy Hoffa's whereabouts are still unknown.
Chuck Norris once consumed an entire East-Russian villiage in a fit of collosal hunger which may never be equalled...
Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a blow torch. He fuels the torch with his own breath.
Chuck Norris has never found Waldo, but vows to kick his ass when he does.
Chuck Norris is illegal in 48 states.
Chuck Norris only drinks the blood of his enemies, but cleverly disguises it as water and other beverages.
The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.

Chuck Norris is credited with the invention of the Penguin.

The Chuck Norris millitary unit was not included in Civilization 4, because it could conquer everyone else in one turn. Take that Ghandi.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
The Black Plague once tried to afflict Chuck Norris. It has not been seen since.

There is no whiteout during a blizzard, only a roundhouse kick for slow drivers.

:rotfl:

i literally fell on the floor laughing after reading the Chuck Norris facts in Post 3. :lol:







*still laughing* :lol:

lol "chuck Norris can divide by zero" lol :rotfl:

:lol: theres a mr. t version of all of these and vin diesel :lol: theyre so funny

Mr. T (http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php?topthirty)

Vin Diesel (http://www.4q.cc/vin/)

btw they may not work because the site was down when i put the links on, so i dont know.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves


:rotfl:
these are so great

YES! This is the greatest site ever!!!

Jimi Hendrix once challenged Chuck Norris to a guitar playing contest. When Chuck lost, he round house kicked Hendrix so hard that he died of a drug overdose.

Chuck Norris said hello to Tony Montana's little friend.

Sheer brilliance.

Chuck Norris can slam a revloving door!!

There are no nuclear weapons- Chuck Norris merely stores his roundhouse kicks in metal containers.
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris can slam a revloving door!!
lol, that's so awesome

Just how many chuck threads have we got now????

For the "24" fans:
Search: Chuck Norris
Replace by: Jack Bauer

:)

Just how many chuck threads have we got now????
not enough!

God rested on the 7th day, then Chuck took over...

For the "24" fans:
Search: Chuck Norris
Replace by: Jack Bauer

:)


24 starts tomorrow on sky one!!!!

They asked Chuck Norris to be on 24, but then they'd have to change the title to .0001 Seconds and it would end up being the shortest season in history.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris was the first human to willingly snort anthrax, all he did was sneeze and out came Steven Seagal and Jet Li.

Chuck Norris reads Chuck Norris Facts!

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/03/17/chuch_norris_reads_chuck_norri.html

:lol: Awesome video

Chuck Norris' legal department sent me angry e-mails threatening to sue if I didn't stop selling Chuck Norris > Mr. Myagi t-shirts. I only sold one, and that was to a guy I know IRL.

This is for FALLOUT fans:

When Chuck Norris played Fallout, he made a character that killed anyone with just one kick. Howerever, he got defeated by Frank Horrigan and so stayed in the Enclave's Oil Rig just to see him blowing.

Soon after the nuclear explosion, Chuck came back to the mainland swimming.

For all you scientific minded people........

Chuck Norris score's 11 on the Mohs scale.

Chuck Norris is not cool.

Chuck Norris does not scare me.

Chuck Norris and his hangers-on are pathetic.

Chuck Norris even ripped off Vin Diesel's "random facts".

If Chuck Norris were a man, he'd die of the sheer shame of being in such threads.

Oh, and I'm still not dead. Try not to godmode me into dying so much.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man. He gave Jesus the gift of beard, which Jesus wore throughout his life.

I made up several of them for a school newspaper article, but they wouldn't be funny to outsiders.

arnt most of them ripped off the hoff???

Yeah..... but we worship chuck here (it appears).

I expect theres another civ forum somewhere that worships Hoff or a noob's forum that worships Vin diesel..... but chuck's the god of cfc.

Oooooooooolllllllllllllllllllddddddddddd

Sorry, but it is :undecide:

your mom is old!!! :p

(so is that, but we still use it)

weasel's mom is too old to use

I love this one:

In the beginning, God said "Let there be light"... Chuck Norris said "Say please."

How did Michael Jackson end up so twisted? We now know.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the blackness out of Michael Jackson. The obsession with young boys came later, as a side effect.

Chuck Norris didn't know shed. Mr Miyagi is the man!!

One can cure the bird flu by invoking the name of Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris had a TV show, it would be called "Walker, Texas Ranger"

even im bored of him!

Wow... Even you're bored of him? Then he must be boring, since you obviously don't bore easily...

I wish I could express sarcasm in text... you tool...

if you had been here longer- you would realise i was taking the piss out of myself.

And possibly if I had been here longer I would know what "taking the piss out of myself" means. Are you literallly extracting urine from you body or what? :confused:

edit: BTW - "declares" is spelled D-E-C-L-A-R-E-S.

its called sarcasm buddy

Like I said before, it would be useful to somehow express sarcasm in text.
I think I burned my tongue on pizza.

what did that last part have to do with anything?

Chuck Norris doesn't burn his toung on pizza, he burns pizza with his tounge.

It had nothing to do with anything, but I burned it yesterday and today it hurts. It was DiGiorno pizza.

4 years ago on Thanksgiving, Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey. Chuck went outside, found a live turkey, and ate it whole. He then ripped open his stomach and pulled the turkey out, cooked and with potatoes and cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he did it, he said, "Don't question Chuck Norris"

If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you're about to die.

that im with.. perhaps if i had italicised the "my" in the first post...

There are no earthquakes. Just Chuck Norris doing push-ups on the other side of the world.

Every Valentines Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still-beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris thinks every day should be Valentines Day. :lol: :love: :lol:

When he was a teenager, CHuck Norris had sex with an entire convent of nuns tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later, those nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only team ever to be undefeated in professional footbal history

CHuck Norris is the only man who can acutally email you a roundhouse kick

Chuck Norris is the only human to ever display the Hiesenberg Uncertainty Principle: you can never be sure both when and how fast he will roundhouse kick you in the face

If A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick were to be tapped, it coudl power Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

:lol:

Chuck Norris can play just 1 turn of Civ.

btw goldeagle, I love the sig! (and the location)