In response to our southern neighbour producing a half baked rag and passing it off as a newspaper, Doughnutia's worst and dimmest have set out to prove we too can produce a half baked rag and send it out internationally. So without futher delay, i'm not so proud to present the very first international edition of
The Doughnutian Gazette
Where we never let the truth get in the way of a good story !:D

Hah! Shows you what I know. I thought we were producing dododolts not bolts. Very nice Robi. :D

Not as good as our one. :D

Very funny! I loved the idea of dough nuts 'n bolts. :p

:clap: Excellent read ... especially interesting is the sport based on goat herding ... Does it also involve wrestling with them ??? ... if so then this could very well become an international event ;)

Very funny! I loved the idea of dough nuts 'n bolts. :p

Oh, now I get it. :lol:

Well after thousands of requests.... well ok maybe not thousands, after hundreds of requests for.... ok ok, after a few requests, the second edition of The Doughnutian Gazette is here !

Nice read Nutter :thumbsup:

Enjoyable reading, Robi. I'll look forward to your next issue. :)

Nice story about the peace treaty. Glad to hear we'll be using a blunted hatchet. [thinks to self] :hmm: Can't you still kill someone with a blunt hatchet? Better not turn my back on the general during the ceremony. [/thinks to self]

We're, umm, glad you're trying to help us with suggestions for renaming Carpetbomb. It's funny how things work out. If you all hadn't sacked a totally defenseless city and then burnt it to the ground we'd never be able to have such a fun contest! [thinks to self]I have to remember the war is over and I should watch my tone. After all, they had many reasons for torching Carpetbomb. We did burn down Cruller at the start of the war. Wait, we didn't burn their city - THEY did! Never mind that. We killed so many of their brave mounted warriors on the battle field that it's quite understandable that they wanted to incinerate Carpetbomb. No, wait a minute. We lost all those battles when the soothsayers and mathemeticians said we had a ninety per cent chance to win! Why did they burn Carpetbomb, anyway?!? Aw, they heck with it. There's a basket of doughnuts up for grabs. If ony I could get my hands on the entry list I could strike a deal with someone and use their city name if they promise to give me half the doughnuts... [/thinks to self]

Don't forget the 2 bottles of wine :)

Oh and i suppose a blunted hatchet could kill. We did think of going with a plastic or rubber one, but niethers been invented yet;)

This one is very good. :goodjob:

:lol: I vote Barney Rubble. What a "stone age" comedian! Wasn't Carpetbomb the original capital?

I vote Carpet Stain :)

Ambassadors from MIA and TNT have also been invited to attend the occasion.
It's a given that TNT diplomats will be there. Is K.I.S.S. not invited?

Perhaps Doughnutia needs to proofread their work a wee-bit more. ;)

It's a given that TNT diplomats will be there. Is K.I.S.S. not invited?

Perhaps Doughnutia needs to proofread their work a wee-bit more. ;)

Do you really think that was a mistake? :mischief:

Do you really think that was a mistake? :mischief:
:hmm: Very curious comment from a country that just lost a core city (on a gold hill) :eek:.

I noticed the oversight by the editors of the gazette. No harm, no foul.

KISS were indeed there, we even exchanged icy but DC (diplomatically correct) greetings :p

:hmm: Very curious comment from a country that just lost a core city (on a gold hill) :eek:.

We didn't lose a city. We know where they all are. As for that gold hill, we've built a city there twice already and I hear third time's a charm.

What is so curious about my remark? :confused:

We didn't lose a city. We know where they all are. As for that gold hill, we've built a city there twice already and I hear third time's a charm.

What is so curious about my remark? :confused:
Were or where? Curious because you seem to be sticking your nose somewhere it doesn't belong. I think you need to check the scoreboard and work on that.

KISS were indeed there, we even exchanged icy but DC (diplomatically correct) greetings Icy...I assume you mean the icy cocktails we had Mr. Irongold...;)

The Doughnutian Gazette is announcing the following correction

It says MIA and TNT diplomats will also be there

it of course should read MIA and KISS diplomats will be there.

Sorry for any confusion, and i can assure you those responsible have be punished for this error :hammer2:, however i did say the DG is a half baked rag so typing errors can happen ;) although i may hire a proof reader because i apparently suck, or i could start another competiton, "Spot the typing flaws":D


PS whomp choice A is Carpetbombed instead of Carpetbomb ;)

Were or where?

Both are applicable in this case.

Curious because you seem to be sticking your nose somewhere it doesn't belong. I think you need to check the scoreboard and work on that.

Funny thing about Civ III, you don't necessarily need the highest score to win. I was just trying to help out my Idiot friends by pointing out the Freudian slip made by my other doughnut eating friends. Have you noticed neither the writer nor any of his teammates has disavowed the supposed *mistake*?

EDIT: Ahh, I see they're awake in Australia now and an official *correction* has been made.

Another nice one with Carpetbombed. Whoop it up guys while you still have the chance. (Notice I did not say Whomp it up guys... though I was really tempted to do so. :D

What about ReCarpetbomb ;)

Good to see such a wide circulation for this publication of yours :thumbsup:

Wonder when the two slacker nations will release one, if at all :p

What about ReCarpetbomb ;)

Or ReCarpetbombed or ReCarpetbombed Again or ...

Wonder when the two slacker nations will release one, if at all :lol: We want our rag to be over baked before we launch it and it will be so hard your teeth fall out when taking a bite :crazyeye:
On the naming: Crapgotbombed

Awesome work Doughnuts! :goodjob:

This last edition sets a high bar for the next MIA International Tribune indeed.

Hopefully we won't have to ban you paper in Athens to "protect our emerging news industry" ;)

Unlike another newspaper who we shall not mention by name, we have just put out our THIRD international edition.
Enjoy :)

:lol: @ dinsog.

Haha!! Very nice Rob. We should have something in print shortly. There are 3 or 4 stories in the editting room.

It's nice to have the back issues. Good job.

Nicely done ... however I do recall sending instructions (with diagrams) on other uses for the ivory tusks ;)

I am insulted that you guys cannot get simple instructions on how to make a piano. :shake:

Nicely done ... however I do recall sending instructions (with diagrams) on other uses for the ivory tusks ;)

Must has gotten lost in the mail:D

Love the bridge hint

I would like to formally declare [hiccup] that I am NOT donsig, er, dinsog. I don't even see the slightest [hic] resemblance between myself [wipes powdered sugar off his hands] and that guy with the glasses in your newspaper. [staggers away with crumbs falling from beard]

I would like to place the following advertisement in your next edition:

For sale (cheap): One library. Like new. Great waterfront location. Will trade for good wines or make offer. Sorry, no leases.

You not having a fire sale are you old chap? ;)

You not having a fire sale are you old chap? ;)

Well, you'll notice the add doesn't say anything about scrolls for sale. ;)

I would like to place the following advertisement in your next edition:

For sale (cheap): One library. Like new. Great waterfront location. Will trade for good wines or make offer. Sorry, no leases.

What are you selling, the library or the city?
Btw that will cost 0.05g to run the ad.

What are you selling, the library or the city?If you're thinking about bidding on that city... there are some... "squatters" on the property that might make life awkward for a new landlord.

Hmm...who gives you the money when you sell an improvement anyways? The lumber company, I suppose.

It seems that the DG's popularity has no bounds given the amount of PM's i've received, followed by the hate mail when i replied it would be a while. So here is the 4th Edition of the most read newspaper on the planet

I'm looking forward to tasting the new doughnut flavors! It's been years since Harriet has made a batch of cookies... and Matilda... cute as she is...she's a lousy cook. (Don't tell her I said that.)

Enjoy your vacation Robi D! I'm sure you've earned it.

If you're thinking about bidding on that city... there are some... "squatters" on the property that might make life awkward for a new landlord.

Please remember, for Celtic Idiots, the term 'squating' has a different meaning than for most. They don't exactly use the Queen's English...

I'm still unclear on why the ivory wasn't in doughnuts. It's white like sugar right?

I'm still unclear on why the ivory wasn't in doughnuts. It's white like sugar right?
Yeah. What's up with that? When you shave them they look like shredded coconut shavings. You use dyes to change the colors, don't ya? I say try shredded ivory...tastes a little like chicken.

or you could whittle them down to those little sprinkles.... mmmmmm sprinkles....mmmmmm

It seems like the flavour of the month spells Bronze. May the best builders win. Can we come take a look when you've finished? Meanwhile, we're on our way to go see a dead guy :D

whomp how come you and scoutsout have the same avatar etc? is it left over from april 1st? ive been curious throughout but didnt know where else to ask!

whomp how come you and scoutsout have the same avatar etc? is it left over from april 1st? ive been curious throughout but didnt know where else to ask!We swapped for April 1... and then Whomp's computer started having issues. I'm sure he'll get it straightened out... eventually. As for the rest of Whomp's issues....that will take more time. ;)

:lol: kk thought it would be something along them lines.

I wish to place an advertisement in your fine publication:

Quality Antiques for Sale - Intrepid explorers with quick feet and large swords wish to market artifacts from ruined city. Scimitars, pantaloons, and writings from an almost extinct civilization. Be at the market on Meleetday. These items are for the true afficionado of lost civs.

I wish to place an advertisement in your fine publication:

Quality Antiques for Sale - Intrepid explorers with quick feet and large swords wish to market artifacts from ruined city. Scimitars, pantaloons, and writings from an almost extinct civilization. Be at the market on Meleetday. These items are for the true afficionado of lost civs.


Is that a one-off ad or a reoccuring one, because were having a special this month, get your ad in 5 editions for the price of 4.

EDIT: dont worry about that

Well, we're gonna let <idiot to be named later> play a few, so we'll take the bargain rate.

The DG has become the number one news publication in all of Meleet by leading the way by breaking the big stories from Doughnutia and abroad. We continue this tradition by having the first ever interview of a government official. And no its not Robi D (interviewing my self would just be too wierd), its not even a Doughnutian!;)
Read on:D

:lol: Wonderfull editing :p

Great idea by the way to interview members from other teams, can't wait for more :thumbsup:

My compliments on another enjoyable edition. The interview with fe was an excellent read!

:clap: I love these stories! The interview with Fe was awesome. Who knew you could build towers with ivory? I need to requistion one for the POTKISS (or is that Holly's beyotch?) and the lovely Holly....<snap><snap> Scout make it so #1.

:clap: I love these stories! The interview with Fe was awesome. Who knew you could build towers with ivory? I need to requistion one for the POTKISS (or is that Holly's beyotch?) and the lovely Holly....<snap><snap> Scout make it so #1.That suggestion would have been most helpful before last turn's palace expansion... but I'll add your request to the already... "eclectic" look of the imperial cave.

An outstanding edition!!! Looking forward eagerly to the next. :D

Another eeeeeexcellent issue :goodjob:. Reading it a few days late gives a nice edge to Mr. IronGolds suggestion on the possible use of Ivory :D.

While I'm not artistically blessed as my fellow editors the DG continues to have the top quality writing its had from day 1 (note: this does not me its accurate) that has made it the most popular paper in Meleet (in terms of posts, not views). This edition brings you more of the same and includes another classic comic for General W(even the editors of the other papers want to be published in the DG;) ).

Hehe. I like the palace architecture. It looks so idiotic. :D It could use some shrubberies though.

I recommend Roger the Shrubber. He does all our work.

Bloody paparatsi :mad: ... typical media beatup !!! ... what's next 101 things to do with a doughnut :p

what's next 101 things to do with a doughnut :p
This would make a get contest! Who can think up the most things to do with a donut? Maybe we can get one of the local newspapers to sponsor the contest. :D

What would the rating be ?? ... I'm hesitant to say I can think of a number that could be un-printable :blush:

What would the rating be ?? ... I'm hesitant to say I can think of a number that could be un-printable :blush::nono:

Don't even think about those things that are unprintable ...

Hehe. I like the palace architecture. It looks so idiotic. :D It could use some shrubberies though.

You should see the latest addition :D

Searching for 101 thing to do w/ a doughnut I found the following.

History of Doughnuts (http://www.elliskaiser.com/doughnuts/history.html)


In the days when fried cakes ruled the earth, life was harsh. The cakes were difficult to fry all the way through which often left a gooey doughy center. The doughy unfried cake center often carried deadly diseases such as the bubonic plague and anthrax. Thousands of people and twelve bakers (the baker's dozen) died from eating unfried cakes. Still, people ate and ate not knowing if their next fried cake would be the last.
This would make a get contest! Who can think up the most things to do with a donut? Maybe we can get one of the local newspapers to sponsor the contest. :D

BTW, a properly aged Crueller can be used as a bevel gear and large raised doghnuts w/ rainbow spinkles have been used as eyewear frames by Elton John.

:nono:

Don't even think about those things that are unprintable ...
Thus spoke the Great Meleet. His first commandment!
:worship: :worship: :worship:

Or did He have others? :hmm: I'm just an idiot. :D

Or did He have others? I'm sure he did... but I wasn't paying attention. Confession Time: He told me from a burning bush that it was he, and not Dinsog, who blew up the Doughbolt Factory.

Now... bear in mind... when plants start talking I usually reach for my flamethrower... but this one was already on fire. It was really weird, I'm telling you. Then again... maybe Igor just put something hallucinogenic in my wine.

Anyway, it seems he felt that each team should be limited to one type of baked goods. Greeks have Gyros, Iroquois have Donuts, Celt's have Harriet's cookies...the Persians have explosives... Anyway, it seems The Meleet felt two types of bakery products would've given the Celts an unfair advantage...

Well if the Great Meelet was for not giving any team an unfair advantage, maybe some of the Gallic Swordsmen will come down with the "plague", to balance the odds, considering the Galls have their Golden Age right now. ;)

I'm sure he did... but I wasn't paying attention. Confession Time: He told me from a burning bush that it was he, and not Dinsog, who blew up the Doughbolt Factory. - This qualifies as unprintable .... :mischief:

I'm sure ALL Meleetian actions are in the Ironic bible. :D

Well if the Great Meelet was for not giving any team an unfair advantage, maybe some of the Gallic Swordsmen will come down with the "plague", to balance the odds, considering the Galls have their Golden Age right now. ;)or he could smite the Explosive ones for their stubborness and for making the swords of the Holy Meleetian force stained with blood :lol:

- This qualifies as unprintable .... :mischief:

I'm sure ALL Meleetian actions are in the Ironic bible. :D



yup its pretty much a biography of your life, watch out for the new story 'meleet has a nephew' coming soon :D

Well if the Great Meelet was for not giving any team an unfair advantage, maybe some of the Gallic Swordsmen will come down with the "plague", to balance the odds, considering the Galls have their Golden Age right now. ;)

Thats not unfair, it called proper golden age management:D, no one forced you guys to use your one up earlier (not that it helped you much;) )

BTW there's a bible entry right there, "The folly of an early GA"