1, The bandage was wound around the wound.

2, The farm was used to produce produce.

3, The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4, There is no time like the present, so he thought he would present the present.

5, When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

6, He did not object to the object.

7, The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

8,The oarsmen had a row about how to row.

9, he was too close to the door to close it.

10, A stag does strange things when the does are present.

11, After a number of injections my jaw became number.

12, The artist saw a tear in his painting and shed a tear.

13,She had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

14, An army chef decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

15, There are no eggs in an eggplant, no apple or pine in pineapple.

16, Quicksand works slowly.

17, Boxing rings are square.

18, Guinea pigs are neither from Guinea or are pigs.

19, Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.

20, If a vegetarian eats veg, what does an humanitarian eat?

21, A slim chance and a fat chance are similar.

22, So are quite a lot and quite a few.

23, But overlook and oversee are very different.

24, You fill in a form to fill it out.

25, An alarm goes off by going on.

26, When the stars are out, you see their light but when the lights are out you see nothing.

Any more to add? :D

If you notice this notice then I'll notice you noticing this notice.

The graph plots how many plots there have been.

I have decided to be a bee.

You got fired because of the fire?

He's got a chip on his shoulder.

The train is running late.

I will keep them at bay until I reach the bay.

I will ship you the goods by ship.

I hear the haire lost all its hair.

I don't want to be kind to his kind.

I saw the saw.

I live to play live.

I have to step in and defend my beloved language. Careful: Lefty is probably already planning something similar :eek:.

Originally posted by MrPresident
He's got a chip on his shoulder.

I will ship you the goods by ship.

I hear the haire lost all its hair.


What's odd about the first one? It's a simple idiom, and similar examples can be found in all languages. That's not a reason why English is hard to learn. The second one is just nonsense. The "by ship" is entirely unnecessary and would leave the speaker looking a fool. If you are going to ship something then necessarily it will travel by ship. The reason for the misunderstanding here is the Americanisation of the word ship, meaning simply to send. "Civ 3 ships today!" is just a strange way to say that Civ 3 has been released and sent to the appropriate stores. It is shorter, but more confusing for someone not familiar with the language. Besides, for those with an eye for irony, you will note that when TF posted the message that Civ 3 was shipping, it was only to stores in the US and overseas customers had to wait for it to be available to them ;).
[splitting hairs]For the third, sure it's a homonym, as were all the rest, but the animal is spelt hare, which doesn't lead to any confusion written down. [/splitting hairs]

The "by ship" is entirely unnecessary and would leave the speaker looking a fool.
What if the goods are usually shipped by airplane and for some unforseen circumstances the goods were shipped by a ship instead then would it be unnecessary.For the third, sure it's a homonym, as were all the rest, but the animal is spelt hare, which doesn't lead to any confusion written down.
It may be spelt hare where you come from but where I am from it is and shall always be haire.

He's got a chip on his shoulder.
This is odd because the man doesn't have an actual chip (as in fish and..) on his shoulder but a metaphorical chip which may be hard for someone learning english to understand. For example,

Time really did fly

Originally posted by MrPresident

What if the goods are usually shipped by airplane and for some unforseen circumstances the goods were shipped by a ship instead then would it be unnecessary.
It may be spelt hare where you come from but where I am from it is and shall always be haire.

Shouldn't it be "flown to" rather than shipped then?
I assume we're talking about the hare, the long-legged rabbitesque creature here? Even the entirely unrelated Hare Krishnas are spelt the same so if you're from some bizarre, unknown Yorkshire where a strange parody of English is spoken that would put even the Yorkshire accent where I live to shame then it is the only spelling. They may pronounce things in a strange way, but the spelling remains the same, unless you're trying to create some of that awful regional poetry à la Robert Burns.
And to have a chip on one's shoulder bears absolutely no reference to the potato snack of the same name so this is where the confusion might lie. But it is an idiom and they are common to most, if not all, languages.
For example, in French: (sorry, this is the only one that springs to mind) "Il y a du monde sur le balcon" - which loosely translates not as "Look at all the people on the balcony", but something like "What an impressive chest that young lady has". Idioms are the most fun things about learning languages and are a reason to learn them, not the other way round. :D

Originally posted by Knight-Dragon
21, A slim chance and a fat chance are similar.

22, So are quite a lot and quite a few.

Surely these two are the difference between being an optomist and a Pessimist. Like is the glass half full or half empty...

Shouldn't it be "flown to" rather than shipped then?
That is the whole point. To ship something doesn't necessarily mean that it has been transported by a ship (or boat). You ship a product round the world you don't fly a product round the world.

One ought not plough a trough through rough ground when nursing a cough for it is tough enough to be thorough when healthy.

the letters "ough" are pronounced 6 different ways (ah, ow, off, oo, uff, and oh) in that sentence.

If someone can work the word "hiccough" in there, that would be 7 pronunciations!

And this is just too funny...

"I" Before "E" Except After "C"
By Duncan McKenzie

It's a rule that is simple, concise and efficeint.
For all speceis of spelling it's more than sufficeint.
Against words wild and wierd, it's one law that shines bright
Blazing out like a beacon upon a great hieght,


It gives guidance impartial, sceintific and fair
In this language, this tongue to which we are all hier.
'Gainst the glaceirs of ignorance that icily frown,
This great precept gives warmth, like a thick iederdown.


Now, a few in soceity choose to deride,
To cast DOUBT on this anceint and venerable guide;
They unwittingly follow a foriegn agenda,
A plot hatched, I am sure, in some vile haceinda.


In our work and our liesure, our homes and our schools,
Let us follow our consceince, sieze proudly our rules!
Will I dilute my standards, make them vaguer and blither?
I say NO, I will not! I trust you will not iether.

What? You expected the language to be easy to learn did you? :rolleyes:

It is not that hard to learn I managed to learn it before I even started primary school :D LOL

Originally posted by Wolfe Tone
It is not that hard to learn I managed to learn it before I even started primary school :D LOL

Yes but thats because everyone around was using English as well so you are constantly learning it...

I used to think that English is an easy language and Greek or Chinsese difficult.

After all:I talk the England very best.

Simple enough...

One ought not plough a trough through rough ground when nursing a cough or a hiccough for it is tough enough to be thorough when healthy.

The weirdest thing in English in my opinion, is 'ough', as brilliantly displayed by Tim and Beowolf. For a beginner it is completely imposible to guess how it is pronounced in each instance. No wonder Americanisms such a 'thru' are quite popular!

shouldn't it be throo then?

Originally posted by Sixchan
shouldn't it be throo then?

Well, maybe, it would make more sense, but either way (thru or throo) is the incorrect way to write 'through'.

It's quite simple really, the English were busy making their language difficult for foreigners to learn, and that's why they can't speak any other languages. :D

Example of the English language being absolutely incomprehensible.

'GHOTI'. How do you pronounce it? 'FISH'.:confused:


'GH' is pronounced 'F'.
(Example) 'Enough'.

'O' is pronounced 'I'.
(Example) 'Women'.

'TI' is prnounced 'SH'.
(Example) 'Expectation'.


And you say it's not hard to learn!:confused: :confused: :confused:

Have you ever come across a fanatic called Goodbye Mr Bond? I think you'd appreciate his signature! :goodjob:

Hehe, only in English can a house burn down while it's burning up. :D:D:D

It's too hard to tell when to use too, or two, and 2 and to too.

"He finally made his decision. But he went through tough thoughts though." ;)

Oh yeah, I've read once that Icelanders are very smart. Cos who the hell is able to speak Icelandic on this world? :D

Someone who is "cracking up" can be doing two completely different things.

Its really easy. I started learning English when I was 1!

Now that was a very interesting fact...:rolleyes:

You are the second person now to say that its infact easy because you have been speaking English for your whole life...

Well it can't be that easy because he was unable to read the rest of the posts here before making such a wonderful joke. ;)

I have speaking English for my whole life (25 y/o right now) and I still have a hard time. I get confused with comas sometimes and the to and too makes it a pain. :)
I believe that English is more expressive than Spanish though. Anyone know if this is true?

Well I can imagine that trying to communicate would be rather difficult if you have trouble with comas. :lol:

And is this some kind of big spam crusade for you PH, as you seem to have posted in every one of the top 20 threads here in about an hour? I hope that it's to drum up some interest in our beloved H&J forum and give a :p to all those people who voted "No" in the OT poll.

Originally posted by duke o' york
Well I can imagine that trying to communicate would be rather difficult if you have trouble with comas. :lol::rotfl:
I noticed the same thing. ;)

Anyway, "to" "too" and "two" are very distinctive.
"two" means "twee",
"too" means "ook" and
"to" means "te" or nothing. :p

Originally posted by PaleHorse76
I believe that English is more expressive than Spanish though. Anyone know if this is true?
Certainly, as long as english is your first language. :rolleyes: Whatever you learn as a baby will be the most expressive for you!

LEGALESE english is almost indecipherable to native speakers. People earn outrageous salaries just to be patient enough to slog thru it.

Originally posted by Matrix
Anyway, "to" "too" and "two" are very distinctive.
"two" means "twee",
"too" means "ook" and
"to" means "te" or nothing. :p
Two more "to" meanings: "naar" or "aan", too.

You should include dutch "toe", too!

Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months at hard labor to reading
six lines aloud. Try them yourself.

ENGLISH IS TOUGH STUFF

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Author Unknown

Haha! English the hardest language to learn?! Try french! All sorts of stupid exceptions and rules that dont make sense! Trust me, english is really easy compared to french.


Spec.

French makes no sense!

Croyez-moi, il y a beaucoup plus d'exceptions en anglais. Et les systèmes ne sont pas aussi difficiles que vous avez dit.

In fact, French is organised in a very straightforward way and the few exceptions are easy to learn and implement once learnt. As you can see here, very few anglophones use the language perfectly and neither do the French. It would be rude if you were to snigger when someone mispronounced something or used the wrong word, but it does happen just like it does in English. No-one expects you to deliver speeches and essays like a Victor Hugo de nos jours, but if you make an effort you can be easily understood.
Except in Paris, where as soon as the staff anywhere recognise the English accent, they immediately start talking to you in English! :mad: Of course I just kept talking in French, and they would talk in English, and we'd both be quite happy.

Just learned awhile ago that the plural form of forum is fora, rather than forums.

To think that I thought I have finally mastered the English language all these years...... <shakes head> :rolleyes: :lol:

Originally posted by Knight-Dragon
Just learned awhile ago that the plural form of forum is fora, rather than forums.

To think that I thought I have finally mastered the English language all these years...... <shakes head> :rolleyes: :lol:

excellent, yet another one converted...

Originally posted by Black Fluffy Lion
excellent, yet another one converted... Converted? Nah, I'll still prefer forums. Like TF said, fora sounds too biological. :lol: I'd rather be wrong than sound strange.

bah, fora sounds much better!

Originally posted by Black Fluffy Lion
bah, fora sounds much better!

I totally wholly agree with thee that thy assumption concerning the word"forum" cannot be truer;)

It is correct, but I'm still undecided as to which is the best for use here, and we must accept the decision of TF because it's his site. You could make the Gamecatcher Fora champions of correct English though! I'd visit, but you'd have a hell of a job editing all the typos. Especially if Lefty still visits ;). You shouldn't be so picky about one word when practically all the posts here feature at last one spelling mistake, often more.
How about sterna, stadia, ba.....? (think about it :D)

And people wonder why English is hard to learn! :D

The 'standard' way of forming plurals in English is to add 's' at the end. But then we have so many 'irregular' words: man -> men, child -> children, deer -> deer, etc.

BTW, the 1913 edition of Webster's Dictionary states that the plural of 'forum' is 'forums', but that in Latin it was 'fora'. :) My take is that the upsurge in the use of the term 'fora' started because some people wanted to appear 'educated'. (No fingers pointed here. This was started before most of us were born.) So actually, the use of the term 'fora' is what has been introduced to the language. The 'correct' plural, in English, is 'forums'. :crazyeye:

Use whichever you want, you won't be wrong.

Originally posted by Padma
And people wonder why English is hard to learn! :D

The 'standard' way of forming plurals in English is to add 's' at the end. But then we have so many 'irregular' words: man -> men, child -> children, deer -> deer, etc.

BTW, the 1913 edition of Webster's Dictionary states that the plural of 'forum' is 'forums', but that in Latin it was 'fora'. :) My take is that the upsurge in the use of the term 'fora' started because some people wanted to appear 'educated'. (No fingers pointed here. This was started before most of us were born.) So actually, the use of the term 'fora' is what has been introduced to the language. The 'correct' plural, in English, is 'forums'. :crazyeye:

Use whichever you want, you won't be wrong.

yes, as the usual way in English is to add an 's' on to the end, forums has become the generally accepted correct word. But I will stay technically correct! fora is the word!

Originally posted by Padma
And people wonder why English is hard to learn! :D

The 'standard' way of forming plurals in English is to add 's' at the end. But then we have so many 'irregular' words: man -> men, child -> children, deer -> deer, etc.

What's even better, is that some of the inconsitencies are oddly consistent. Example: mouse -> mice, louse -> lice. But don't think you've found a pattern, because: house -> houses!

I don't see why people are complaining? Did you really expect English to be easy to learn? All languages have irrregular exceptions to rules so pick on them instead...

Originally posted by Dell19
I don't see why people are complaining? Did you really expect English to be easy to learn? All languages have irrregular exceptions to rules so pick on them instead...

English gets picked on because it's the language of diplomacy and commerce. It is the lingua franca (a term I find to be amusingly ironic). The target with the highest profile is the easiest target to hit.

How is 'houses' an irregular?

house
houses

seem to me you just add s

Houses is regualar but thats the problem. Switch625
wants there to be an exception rule that all rymning words comply too. So because mouse becomes mice and louse becomes lice, house should become hice...

When you think about, this all came about becuase we tried to mix Latin, French and German. History repeats itself indeed.

Originally posted by Dell19
Houses is regualar but thats the problem. Switch625
wants there to be an exception rule that all rymning words comply too. So because mouse becomes mice and louse becomes lice, house should become hice...

No, that isn't what I meant. I was simply illustrating another oddity of the language. If anything, I'd rather "mouse" and "louse" conform to the "add an 's'" rule of plurals.

Okay then but from the post it looked like you were willing to except some rules that are not completely regular but you cannot stand having extra rules that do not always work...

Originally posted by Dell19
Okay then but from the post it looked like you were willing to except some rules that are not completely regular but you cannot stand having extra rules that do not always work...

I have to admit, having "extra rules that do not always work" can really drive me to distraction with English. I have given much idle thought to how I'd revise the English language to make it more aesthetically pleasing. The alphabet alone could use a major overhaul. (I might have a bit too much time on my hands)

Maybe when I'm not awake when I should be asleep (it's 3:45 AM right now where I live) I'll go a little more into it. Or maybe not. Who knows?

A joke I found in a book on English:

The EU commision has accepted English as the union's official language, but to make it simpler a spelling reform will take place the next five years:

Year 1: When the letter c is pronounced soft it will be replaced with an s "Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy" and the hard c will be replaced with a k: "this should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter"

Year 2: The troublesome ph will always be replaced with f. This immediately reduces the word fotografer with 20%

Year 3: Publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. The Government will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent e's in the language is disgrasful and they should eliminat them

Year 4: Peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as replasing th with z and w with v (saving mor keyboard spas)

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary o kan be dropd from vords kontaining ou and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALY KUM TRU!

Sounds like some sort of eastern european came up with that. Will all be talking with accents by 2007.

aktuly, zat kind of speling wud mak mukh mor sense zan kurent ways of using English, and speling, gramer and komprehenshiun wud dramatikly improve. Khildren all over ze world wud embrase ze nyo speling as mukh ese-ar to yus, and ze world wud bekom mukh mor korekt.