For three generations, the Byzantine people had traveled the wilds. But the hunt was growing scarce, and no longer could men survive off of the wilderness alone. Change was inevitable, and change must be led. In a bloody coup, Pneuma seized power, thanks to his perfection of the ultimate weapon: the flint axe. Proclaiming himself judge, jury, and executioner, the new king of the Byzantines ordered the people to settle, to build, to explore the world and claim it for the glory of the Byzantine people.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/start.png

King Pneuma: Send out the prisoners to improve the land. A little hard labor should clean their minds. Oh, and send out a troop of warriors to the end of the world. It is time to expand our minds, knowledge is power, and so forth.
Sedo: Sir! Sudden death lies there!
King Pneuma: Who the hell are you?
Sedo: I am your advisor, someone to interact with you, creating drama and humor
King Pneuma: Oh, okay. Send the warriors out anyway. They have the axe nothing can stop them!

A pack of warriors was sent out after several hundred years of debate, and they did not fall off the world or burst into flames or otherwise become incapacitated. In fact they made an amazing discovery.

Sedo: We are not alone!
King Pneuma: Of course we are. You don’t believe that there is other human life in the world, do you? That’s just made up to sell trashy market tablets to white trash.
Sedo: We have received word from the party of warriors we sent out two hundred years ago! They found a village full of people, calling themselves Patzinal!
King Pneuma: And? Was it a glorious slaughter?
Sedo: Not a life was spent! They all offered to join our empire once they saw our unstoppable military prowess!
King Pneuma: Excellent! Controlling people’s lives is even better than ending them! I guess you’re off the hook. Ah well. Order them to settle in the southwest, and burn down their village, to keep the mortals on their toes.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/3600nicepatzinals.png

Over the years, more warriors were sent out, learning that there were still more people in the world, and not all of them as wise as the Patzinal. A tribe of Samartians, who somehow managed to get hold of the technology unlocking the axe, rose up against the Byzantine emissaries, who proclaimed themselves the Samartian’s overlords as they torched the huts.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/0394df6b.png

They were slaughtered mercilessly, and time went on for the civilized world at least. A group of emigrants was sent out to spread the joy of being part of the Byzantine Empire, calling their city Caesarea.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/cf826544.png

One thousand, three hundred and seventy years after the founding of civilization itself, came 2630, a year that will go down in Byzantine history books, starting with King Pneuma’s speech on the Constantinople shores

King Pneuma: People of Constantinople, greatest city in the world, we are gathered here to witness a turning point, a start of something even better. We have already developed the ultimate weapon, the spear, our warriors explore the land, bringing swift and wonderfully painful death to those that oppose us, sending back reports daily.
Schmuck in the crowd: How? They’re off at the edge of the world?
King Pneuma: Guards! Send this volunteer to the acid mines. As I was saying, today is the day the first Byzantine warship rolls off the line. We send it off to explore the great world sea, bringing back news of new lands to discover and to spread our glory to. But we must remember to—Sedo, what do you want. You’ve been jumping up and down since I started talking. Say whatever it is you have to say before you piss yourself and we have to put you on the papers again.
Sedo: Sir! Word has just come in! Our southernmost exploration party has come across something unprecedented!
King Pneuma: Well, half the city is waiting for me to get on with my speech. Say it before you join that SitC.
Sedo: Foriegners!
King Pneuma: What’s so unprecedented about that? We’ve slaughtered three tribes of primitives since Constantinople was built.
Sedo: These ones don’t live in huts or use axes like the others! They have built a city that rivals Constantinople, guarded by warriors that use weapons fantastical to our own men!
King Pneuma: Well, what do these barbarians call themselves.
Sedo: Carthaginians, my lord, and if we are to attack them without stronger armies, we will need far more warriors.
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/2630carthage.png

King Pneuma: Well, nuts.



http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/2630world.png

Incense near Carthage, ivory south of Caesarea, spices near Caesarea and Constantinople incase you missed them. Only bronze working and alphabet researched. Map is small 80% water archipelagio incase anyone wants to know

Ooh, you've got some good humor. I would suggest my story, but that would be off topic. Anyway, why did you build Caesaria like that and not on the spices (creating a bridge between the sides of the sea? Now, you'll HAVE to waste tiles or overlap a lot! And for the record, I've hated both. I'm a nutty perfectionist!

Good luck in both the game and the story!

Well, this way it gets some good production from the hill and mountain, and I plan on building a city on the tobbacco. Update later today.

Right now you have a huge area to expand, fortify the warrior so the Carthaginians can't get any units out to head north. If your lucky, they won't have much land to the south of them, making them an easy civ to get rid of.

I agree with stocktracker. You should get two warriors and guard that nothern front of Carthage.

Chapter the Second
2630 BC: Constantinople

Pneuma: A rival empire! Who leads these Carthaginians, Sedo?
Sedo: A man by the name of Hannibal
Pneuma: An empire led by a man so desperate for a shave cannot be called civilized. He is still a barbarian, just one that has been trained to build a city. How strong are these people?
Sedo: Well, the good news is they have only figured out how to build a single city.
Pneuma: Excellent. Blockade the straights immediately. Lets try and keep them that way. What is the bad news?
Sedo: Uh, well, sir
Pneuma: Spit it out.
Sedo: Well, you’d better take a look at it yourself.

Our emissaries attempted to arrange a trade, and we displayed what we had to offer:
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/2630ack2.png

But when the Carthaginians did the same…
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/2630ack.png

They have a single city, but have at least three technologies more than we do. How they managed this, we have no idea. No exploring Carthaginians were seen, so it is safe to assume that no primitives taught them anything.

Pneuma: They dare to call themselves our superiors! Send the warriors to torch Carthage, immediately! I will not stand for hariy chimps like Hannibal to live on my lands!
Sedo: Uh, sir, there is one little, tiny, thing more… Their capital is garrisoned by a group of mercenaries from a land called Nubia. They fight like wildmen, and our warriors are no match for them.
Pneuma: Guh. But. No. What… how in… Okay. Blockade their only pass off of that are of the world. Violate their borders until you find the other side of the world. I don’t want a single Carthaginian escaping that prison. If we can’t kill them, we will keep them penned up like animals until we learn how to overcome those Nubians. Send the Crackity Jones out to find other empires like these brown worms. If there is one tribe of barbarians smart enough to talk, there must be others.

As the forced isolation policy was enacted, normal life went on for the empire, at least, for forty years. At that point, one of the exploring warriors, only a few steps ahead of settling parties, came across some old friends. Deep in the Traeapaeana woods, a Byzantine Warband located an old village, and entered. Seeing nothing, they proceeded to torch the huts and salt the earth, the usual Byzantine greeting. But as they finished their task, a terrible cry came out from the woods, ready to kill the men who had twice burned down their homes: the Patzinal.

Outnumbered two-to-one, the Byzantines held their ground in the woods. A third of the Patzinal simply waited, claiming their gods forbade them from traveling south, evening the odds slightly. The remainder of the barbarians all charged the defending war band, who fought bravely. 3/4ths of the Patzinal died quickly, but the attackers were too many, and the Byzant exploring troop that had roamed the lands since the fourth millennium BC fell.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/2590deadwarior.png

In Constantinople, Pneuma was enraged. Having two hostile primitive war bands wandering his wilderness would slow expansion greatly: unarmed settling parties would be at risk. A troop of spearmen was sent out to find the Patzinal offenders, kill them, and then maybe burn their corpses, or stuff them for target practice. It was really up to them.

Meanwhile, the other exploring warrior unit had followed through with Pneuma’s orders, and scouted Carthage’s lands. North of the city was desolate desert, with only a single area with arable land. And south was the opposite: a forboding jungle that was a source of many pretty rocks, but nothing else.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/2470carthageisteeny.png

Pneuma: All I can say is phthhhhbbbt. Serves them right, illegally settling on my planet.

(You can’t see it in that picture, but there is at least one more tile visible through the fog that I couldn’t get to without Hanny kicking me out of his lands. But that doesn’t matter, with that start, he isn’t a threat, just an annoyance)





Many years later, the Crackity Jones, the first Curragh built by the Byzantines, sent back a report to Constantinople that would create an enormous fuss.

2310 BC: Constantinople

Sedo: Sir! Lord Pneuma! The Crackity Jones has just sent word!
Pneuma: This had better be good enough to create an enormous fuss. I don’t want to hear about another barbarian attack or pointless island like every other time you come barging in here.
Sedo: That barbarian attack had sentimental value. But it is sir, it is! Listen to this:
“Captain’s Log: Year 320
Fish for dinner again. Ship will be repaired tomorrow. Three centuries at sea is murder on a tiny boat like this. Wonder if we will one day sail to the moon.”
Pneuma: Oh, so our navy can count? That’s amazing. Give the crew medals. Or their families.
Sedo: Sir, I’m not done
Pneuma: Skip to the good part, Sedo. I have lots of serfs to subjugate.
Sedo: Lets see, seagulls, fish, driftwood, sailing to the moon, sardines, ah here we are:
“Heard something in the east, sounded like boats. Odd, Constantinople is in the west. The Byzantine Empire has grown so big while we were gone, I guess. I wonder if we have invented magic yet. Found a wrecked fishing boat, green sails. Fish for dinner again tomorrow.”
Pneuma: Wait, if we are in constant communication with the boat, how come they don’t know whats going on here?
Sedo: Don’t you worry about that! Do you know what this means! We have found another civilization!
Pneuma: If they were civilized, then they would be Byzantines. Tell me if we get any new information
Sedo: Yes sir.
Messenger: Lord Sedo! Your Awesomeness! The Crackity Jones has just sent another message!
Sedo: Well that was fast! Read it! Don’t just stand there!
Messenger: “Year 360, Fish for dinner to…”
Pneuma: If you finish that sentence, you’ll be sailing to meet them. And don’t think we’re making a new boat just for you.
Sedo: Uh, just skip to the part about the green people…
Messenger: Ulp… Uhm, here it is. “Sailed to the east. Met with a fishing ship, who took us inland to a city which they call Entremont. Looks like nothing I’ve ever seen. Arranged a visit with their leader, a painted man with nasty looking hair, name of Brennus. Fish for dinner tomorrow. Had an idea for a new invention…”

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/2270celts.png

Sedo: Thank you, that’s enough. You may leave now.
Pneuma: Excellent! Send word to these “Celts” immediately, I want to know everything they know. It is time to catch up with the barbarians in Carthage.

And catch up they did. First, the Byzantines taught the Celts their basic alphabet in exchange for their knowledge of religion and ceramics.

(Alphabet for ceremonial burial + pottery + 10 gold)

And with their newly acquired system of cuneiform writing (just forty years earlier) and religion, they managed to get all of Carthage’s military technology, plus some building methods.
(Ceremonial Burial + writing + 76 gold for masonry + the wheel + warrior code)

Pneuma: The wheel. A novel idea. Order the construction of some charioteers, using this thingy. Its time to kill Carthage entirely, and the idiots gave it to us themselves! Days like this make me happy to be a cruel heartless despot.
Sedo: Uh, sir…
Pneuma: What now, I’m enjoying my bubble of happiness.
Sedo: We’ve checked the land quite thoroughly. We uh, don’t have any horses. The nearest ones are on the island to the northeast.
Pneuma: Anything to make it more difficult. Those barbarians are living on my land! We will have to wait until we can build stronger weapons, anything to give us an edge.





The discovery of Gaul marked the beginning of the Byzantine golden age of exploration. 120 years later, the Crackity Jones discovered another tribe of people living on the island of Gaul: the tropical Northmen.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/2150vikings.png

The Lightning Hopkins, out of Caesarea, made contact with the Romans in the west two hundred years later

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/1950hairgel.png

Another two hundred years after that, the Lightning Hopkins made contact with the Greeks, located on the same island as the Romans:

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/1750greece.png

All very different people, united only by their questionable tasteful hairstyles. Two to an island, no islands had contact with eachother save the Byzantines.

That same year, the last of the Patzinal warriors was defeated in an embarrassingly foolish charge on a Byzantine spearman division located on a easily defensible mountain, leading to a resumption of expansion on the eastern shore of Byzantium.





Two hundred and seventy-five years later, Pneuma called all his governors to a meeting to discus what he called “an organizational shuffling”

1475: Constantinople slums, nondescript building

Pneuma: Well ladies and gentlemen, it has been two thousand and five hundred years since we started this whole thing. Good show, everyone!
Everyone: Woo! We rock!
Pneuma: But, the only thing constant is change. Someone write that down. Pneuma, 1475 BC: The only thing constant is change. Do that, now.
Governor of Nicaea: Uh, what is “BC?”
Pneuma: I’m sorry, was that dissent?
Governor of Nicaea: No sir. Never, not me, you don’t have any subject more loyal than that.
Pneuma: Ah well about that. I’ve decided to get rid of some of my governors.
Governor of Caeasarea: What! You can’t do—uh, I mean, if you say so sir. I’ll stand by you no matter what. So who gets the axe?
Pneuma: All of you. Its been a blast working with you.
Governor of Adrianople: WHAT! I think it’s YOU who needs to change!
Pneuma: Just think of it as an enema. Sedo? Please escort these men to the acid mines. See you around, everyone. I have a lot of work to do, overthrowing my own government and all.

And with that, the Revolutionary forces of Byzantium stormed the room, “escorting” the ex-governors to the fields, where they would work long and hard for 1 gold coin per turn. The first Byzantine Revoultion had begun.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/1500viva.png

And after fifty years of chaos, the new Byzantine Republic arose from the ashes of the decrepit and corrupt Byzantine Tyranny.

1425 BC: Constantinople Senate

Pneuma: Well that was a refreshing change. A little more pay for the troops, its all good. “President” Pneuma. That’s an unexpected one, considering how much of an ass I was earlier. I would’ve thought a monarchy more fitting.
Sedo: President! Terrible news!
Pneuma: I’ll never get used to the sound of that. What is it, lackey?
Sedo: News from the south! From Carthage!
Pneuma: What now, does fuzzy want a scratch behind his ears?
Sedo: Our blockade was forced to move, and through it are coming Carthaginians! A settling party!

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/1400badmovefurry.png

Pneuma: Nuts. What are my options?
Sedo: We have two troops there, we could still block off the land. But they will likely settle on the spot in that case. And then they will eventually eject our men, likely before we can get enough troops to move the blockade. And we don’t have enough troops to make war and kill them completely!
Pneuma: Well, theres only one thing I can do.

Carthage Palace
Hannibal: Ehehehe. Finally we can move out of this cursed desert. Then we will show that pushy Pneuma. Asks me what the animal on my chin eats… one day. One day soon, I’ll have his head.
Odes: Sir! We have received an urgent package from the party we sent out to the northern paradise!
Hannibal: Goody! Exotic gifts from the promised land! Open it open it! No wait, read the note first!
Odes: “Pthhhhhbt”
Hannibal: Insolence! I ought to send you to our fire mines! What does the damn note say!
Odes: It just says “pthhhhhhbt”
Hannibal: What! Open the package!
Odes: Its… a drawing?

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/drawring.png

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g270/sedoclat/post2/empiremap.png

All civs are met, researched alphabet, writing, code of laws, philosophy, republic (free tech), warrior code, the wheel, ceremonial burial, bronze working and masonry. There aren’t any horses on my island, so I have to wait for map making.


(Next update may not be until next weekend. I actually go out of the house Monday-Friday, and I likely won’t have enough time to do the write-up)

Edit: Oh shits my BB code is showing