Dear citizens, the following is important information concerning the state of the world. Please take the time to read it carefully. Americans in particular should take note. In the event that you are vaguely aware of this information, feel free to disregard this. It's your skin that we're trying to save.

As should be obvious to anyone who has been awake for the past year, the British, in the wake of the London train bombings, have elevated their alert level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". In the event of new attacks, which new information indicates is possible, alert may be further raised to "Irked" or even "A Bit Cross." Citizens should note that this level of alert has not been seen since the Second World War, when it was issued on account of low tea rations and those irascible German bombs. Furthermore, terrorists have been reclassified from "Bothersome" to "A Bloody Nuisance", not seen since the London Great Plague/Fire of 1666.

If Britain does in fact become "A Bit Cross", it will merely have been following in the footsteps of the Americans. After 9/11, they elevated their alert level from "Self-Assured Isolation" to "Outraged Panic"; this was further upgraded to "Finger-Pointing and Pontificating About Freedom", and finally "Getting Bogged Down in a Country People Can't Find On A Map."

France has also changed its alert level, having elevated it from "Run" to "Hide". It would appear at first glance that this is the result of the revolt of the unemployed Muslim youth, but the French Government is actually, despite appearances, completely unfazed by this matter. It is instead a result of the destruction of one of France's two white flag factories, halving its military capabilities. In the event of the destruction of the second factory, it is possible that they will up the level to "Surrender" or even "Collaborate".

Germany has also changed its stance in the past few years. Originally at the "Disdainful Self-Confidence" level, they have raised their level to "Elect an Unteneble Alliance of Conservatives and Socialists with a Strong Communist Opposition", last seen in the 1930s. Two levels remain: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

Italy is unique in that it rose to the third level, but then dropped down to the second. It was elevated from "Watch the Show" to "Make Loud Noises" at the beginning of the Iraq War, and was quickly elevated to "Ineffective Combat Operations." Some American pundits would argue that the recent withdrawal from Iraq qualifies as the Italian Level 4 alert, "Change Sides".

The Belgians, are, of course, all relaxing, their only concerns being whether or not NATO and the EU will pull their offices out and when the Americans will realize that it was BELGIANS who invented the French fry, not the French.

:rotfl::rotfl:....simply and truly hilarious..

(...) when the Americans will realize that it was BELGIANS who invented the French fry, not the French.
YES, WE DID INVENTED IT, when WILL they learn??? :gripe: It's like talking to walls. :shake:

On Topic: Funny stuff :goodjob:

YES, WE DID INVENTED IT, when WILL they learn??? :gripe: It's like talking to walls. :shake:

On Topic: Funny stuff :goodjob:



Why didn't you name them Belgian fries then? Let the Frenchies keep them, you already have the waffles.

That was excellent Locke, two thumbs up!

That was good i enjoyed it.

Why didn't you name them Belgian fries then? Let the Frenchies keep them, you already have the waffles.
... and the chocolate, but that's not the point.

The French took over the invention of the fries and exported it around the world. That's why, in English, it's known as French fries...

YES, WE DID INVENTED IT, when WILL they learn??? :gripe: It's like talking to walls. :shake:


You invetd the French Fry, but we invented chips...

In the wake of the arrest of 17 apparently Al-Qaeda-inspired terrorists in Toronto, the Canadians have increased THEIR threat level from "Safely, Smugly Declare Superiority Over Americans" to "Half-Heartedly Question Beliefs." The Canadians had previously upgraded their threat level to "SSDOA" from "Argue Among Selves Over Incomprehensible Constitutional Issues." The Canadians have no higher threat level than "Half-Heartedly Question Beliefs". If they find a threat higher than that, they know that the rest of the world will simply say "You hate Canada?" and the threat will die of embarassment.

the France paragraph was great :rotfl:

In the wake of the arrest of 17 apparently Al-Qaeda-inspired terrorists in Toronto, the Canadians have increased THEIR threat level from "Safely, Smugly Declare Superiority Over Americans" to "Half-Heartedly Question Beliefs." The Canadians had previously upgraded their threat level to "SSDOA" from "Argue Among Selves Over Incomprehensible Constitutional Issues." The Canadians have no higher threat level than "Half-Heartedly Question Beliefs". If they find a threat higher than that, they know that the rest of the world will simply say "You hate Canada?" and the threat will die of embarassment.
:eek: :lol: :goodjob: :goodjob:

did you make this up yourself (if not, who should I attribute this to in forwards?)

did you make this up yourself (if not, who should I attribute this to in forwards?)

The original post is half mine, half from my history teacher's back wall; he says he got it in an email from another history teacher, who is now retired (i.e. inaccessible). The U.S. section, Yes, Minister reference, and the part about the french fries are mine, as well

I did the whole Canada thing myself, though the last sentence was inspired by Jon Stewart's address to those "terrorists": "You hate Canada? That's like saying 'I hate toast!'"