Obviously when men or women write out their adverts for the dating agency they don't want to tell the truth. Here's an explanation for all those who aren't familiar with the game what they really mean!

1. For "Cuddly" read "Chubby"

2.For "Bubbly" read "Chubby and loud"

3. For "Seeks Man aged 18-60" read "desperate"

4. For "Seeks Wealthy, Athletic Man aged 21-25" read "delusional"


Carry on! :)

5. For 'GSOH' read 'No SOH'

6. For "Cat lover" read "crazy cat lover"

7. For "... and maybe more" read "...and sex"

^^^^^you both seem to know a bit about it. ;)


for "individual" read "mentally deranged"

8. "Adventurous" read "Get me drunk and I'll do Anything!"

"Woman" = "Transexual"

Loves Animals = Would rather date your dog.

"kinky" = "scat fetishist"

Loves long walks along the beach = Is going to constantly drag you along the beach at every moment, whether you like it or not.

Enjoys meeting new people = Cannibal

14. For "blonde" read "fake blonde"

15. For "18 years old" read "13 years old"

16. Sports fan = Gets drunk while watching sports.

17. Enjoys Sports = Plays WoW all day long.

BBW = Fat and Ugly.
SSBBW = My eyes! :cry:

For "good with words" read "Countdown addict".

For "Divorced" read "has baggage"

for "committed relationship" read "emotional and needy bunny boiler needs fella to persue relentlessly to the grave"

For "bubbly" read....

..."will never ever STFU and is likely to nag you to within an inch of your life".

For "mature" read...

..."with one foot in the grave and one seriously sagging rack, not to mention a dried up ahem ok that's enough."

For "open minded" read....

..."rampant nympho who wants to be done up the a by multiple partners and an audience drooling in the sidelines, every hour."

For "enjoys meals out" read...

..."overweight, greedy b!tch who will bleed your wallet dry on her incessant, bizarre and expensive cravings."

For "enjoys films" read "enjoys chick flicks starring Hugh Grant"

For "well travelled" read......"once took a bus from Wigan to Bootle".

For "Ricardo" read "Richard"

For "hopeless romantic" read "possible stalker"
For "well travelled" read......"once took a bus from Wigan to Bootle".
Did you google the bus routes before you made that pun? Come on, you can admit it.

For "sincere" read "regularly farts in bed without an ounce of shame or remorse".

Did you google the bus routes before you made that pun? Come on, you can admit it.You got me. I did use google, but only to find out where the hell Wigan was. Seriously.

For "career minded" read "last week I was mopping floors, next week it's the fries" /Kayne
You got me. I did use google, but only to find out where the hell Wigan was. Seriously.
You'll never find it. As I've mentioned before, it's akin to the Forbidden Palace only on a much larger and grander scale.

15. For "18 years old" read "13 years old"

And for "13 years old" read "undercover reporter for 'Dateline NBC: To Catch A Predator' "

For "pro-active in work and play" read....

...."pushy and bolshy at work, likely to lunge desperately on a date."

For "young in spirit" read "old in years"

For "With Strong Principles" read....

...."expects you to do the right thing after eating the food and drinking the wine."

For "seeks young attractive female" read "seeks young attractive female without paying for the flight from Thailand"

for "30 year old" read "40 year old"...

i learned this bit of truth the hard way. :mischief:

"Spiritual" = Reads newspaper horoscopes

"Romantic woman" = frigid

"Must like children" = "I have several spoiled and completely uncontrolable brats from a previous marriage."

:lol: Good ones there Appassionato. Welcome to CFC :beer:

"timid" = Has one hundred million stuffed animals

"Smoker seeks Non-Smoker" read "pleeeease help me crack this habit" :cry:

For "god-fearing" read "you ain't getting near this 'til there's a wedding ring on my finger"

For "rubinesque" read "moo".

For "Casual Gamer", read "Poop-socking 24/7 WoW/EVE online/COH/COV/BF1942/2/2142 player that is obese, has no job and all their money goes into supporting their online games"