so i saw this thread under misc for civ III and figured id update it to Civ IV, dont think theres one already, looked for it but couldnt find it.

well, u know what to do, if not, get out!!!!

1. Go kill a bunch of squirrels to level up so you can take out the neighbors dog. :sniper:

2. You build a theatre in your house in hopes of taking over your neighbors property.

3. You declare war on your neighbor because his dog went in your yard without him signing an open borders agreement.

4. You go to war with the city adjacent to yours because they dont have the same civics.

5. You don't understand how artillery manages to make it through combat largely unscathed.

6. Your family keeps draging you to CivAnon meetings.

7. You don't realise that three or four other people had already opened this sort of thread. (I know because I'm one of them).

8. You demand your neighbour to submit to you as your vassal.

9. You build a Great Wall to keep out salesmen.

10. You adviced your boss to build a Great Library so that the company would get two free scientists.

11. You believe that a nuke can't really destroy an entire city.

12. You worry about how much food tiles your lawn produces.

12. You worry about how much food tiles your lawn produces.

13. You also water your lawn in hopes of getting extra food.
14. You move three times as fast when walking on your driveway.

15# You measure time in turns and length in squares.

16. You believe that if you stand still before a fight, you'll have better defenses

17) in evry book you read or movie you see your trying to figure it out how to make it in civ IV tryed once in LOTR, hehe it worked, i've been playing too much...

18)you compian thats there loads of these threads

#18 isn't true, that's if you spend too much time at civfanatics.

19. When your neighbour ask to borrow a couple of DVDs, you ask for a 3 gold per turn.

20. When your neighbour refused to let you borrow something, you say that the option was "reded out"

21# Forces personal assistant to convert to confucianism.

22# when she refuse you close your friendship bounds

23: You have trouble making friends with your neighbors because your "close borders spark tensions."
24: It's easier to accept them if your neighbor allows you to walk around their yard.

25# You are Sid Meier.

26# your Soren Johnson DUH!

#27: You are confused that mountains can be walked on.
#28: You are disoriented when your boss gives you a job in a mountain range-YOU CAN'T WALK ON THEM!!
#29: You are suprised to know that people have LIVED in mountains since the beggining of time

14. You move three times as fast when walking on your driveway.



23: You have trouble making friends with your neighbors because your "close borders spark tensions."


nice ones :D


something real/serious
#30 you get pissed off at people for not knowing the proper names of the "soldiers" and leaders while watching 300

seriously, how hard is it to know "immortals" "persian war elephants" "phalanxes" "hoplites"

30, You have no more time for SMAC

seriously, how hard is it to know "immortals" "persian war elephants" "phalanxes" "hoplites"
:lol: I was just yelling at someone the other day because they didn't understand that immortals had an attack of 4 (in CivIII, which is where I played as Persia) which would dominate any other unit in their era. Unless the Hoplites were in mountains which would double their defense.

31# You aren't reading this thread, you are playing cIV

32: You refuse to sign up for a physics or chemistry class in school because it will take you 16 years to complete it.
You will do music, however, because it only lasts one year.

33.when your teacher asks why you were gone yesterday you respond with "i was afk"

31 (note: i haven't played CivIV, but hopefully it works) You buy a laptop so you can play it at work!

32 You demand you neighbor pays you 20 gold. When he doesn't, you declare war and burn his garden shed, then ask for peace on the grounds that, "We raized your city..."

The Ninja :ninja:

33# You have thrown away your civIII disc!

#34you don't pay with money at the market, because you can only trade resources with other resources
fur for fish? :D

#35 you don't lend notes to the smartest guy in the class when he misses a class
"we fear you are becoming too advanced"

this is your msn name
ALT- i can shoot you 6 times before you anything-Drill4 redcoat:)

37# You think making a mine takes 70 years.

33# You have thrown away your civIII disc!NEVAH!!!11

38# You say on the historial class in school that it wasnt the spanish that invaded the incas, it was me...

39. As far as you know, the airplane was invented in the year 600 by the Zulu.

40# Steel was invented in 1365. I swear.

41. You believe that normal fighting involves standing in place and getting mauled, especially if the other guy has a better weapon.

42. You've named all of your units, and imagine (or even write up) their little stories.

43. When you walk into a bar you see survival percentages over the punter's heads.

44. When walking with friends, you stand closely behind your strongest friend.

45. When you holiday, you don't take any travel money because they don't have universal sufferage in that country.

42. You've named all of your units, and imagine (or even write up) their little stories.

I actually am doing this in the Rise of Rome scenario in Civ3. Well, only the legionaries, and only names like "Roma XII" and "Genua I", but it is still a pain to keep track of.

46
On your death bed you think to yourself, if only i could play just one more turn......

47# You don't have time to die! All your time goes to civ4!

48) Christianity was definatly founded in 280 B.C.

This thread must be bumped!

49. You get really disappointed when you arrive in Scandinavia. ("Where are the berserks!?")
50. You think there are cities that still have humble and primitive defense militrary such as warriors and archers.
51. You don't believe in scientific method, because if you do, you wouldn't be able to culturaly take over the neighbour lots.
52. You think that pollutening buildings only make some people sick, and recycling stations can easily solve that.
53. You're collecting notepads, so you can change your surroundings.
54. You believe the world can be improved by expansion packs.
55. You've made such type of expansion pack.
56. You faint when they in the news talk about Egypt, because the real Egyptian culure can't just be gone, can it?
57. You've had an F in geography and history, since you think the games are actual history.
58. There is possibly no way America was independent from England, since the world wasn't modded those days.

59) You have modded sooo long that you begin believing there are lines of codes that don't even exist!

60) You conclude that New York, Frankfurt, Shanghai, Tokyo, Hong Kong and Singapore are all part of the English Empire since they all have Stock Markets.

61) You wondered why those cities also have banks since they already have stock markets.

62) And you wonder why these cities each have many banks since only one can be built in each city.

63) You wonder why the United States, Canada or Russia doesn't have a Forbidden Palace. They could save a lot of maintainance money if they only build one.

64) You laugh at China for building their palace and Forbidden Palace in the same city. Noobs...

65) You think there are only seven corporations and seven religions in the world.

66) You wonder why Norway haven't won a diplomatic victory yet.

67) Those scientists got it wrong! Global warming isn't caused by factory pollution! They're caused by nukes!

68) Towns growing into cities? That's just absurd!

69) You are confused no one ever heard of the Rock And Roll building. It's a frikkin' wonder of the world, for Christ's sake!

70) You realised that the reason the world is so screwy is because there are so many bugs. When is the next patch going to be released?

71. You talk about how psychotic Montezuma is with your co-worker at work (who also plays CivIV)
72. You annoy the non-CivIV players at work by talking about how your war with Alexander is going.
73. You wonder why the U.S. doesn't just build more work boats. They only take a turn or two.

74. You ask to restart life because you want it on the "Settler" difficulty this time.

75. When in RL, you try to find that sound that comes when a turn is ended. (You know that "bump"-sound)
76. You have several spare units of CIV IV, in case if one disc would fail to work.
77. In fact, you bought every single copy the local game store had at the release day.
78. You think the Iraqi war is/was about territory.
79. You actually think Iraq is American, since Saddam, the permanent leader of Iraq, was hung. An evidence that Iraq has fallen.
80. In fact, you even think that Hatscheput is still alive, since "Egypt" still exist.
81. You think Civilization IV is more real than the real world.
82. If you didn't buy every single copy at the local store, you simple killed everyone in the neighbourhood that possessed a CivIV copy. (That is a very bad clue)
83. You have modded, so that all leaders speak with chattish word such as "lol", "wut" and "pwn3d".
84. You actually add several phrases to all the leaders every week.
85. When your wife/housband/girl-/boyfriend said to you to stop playing the game, you actually killed him/her. (Even worse clue than number 82)

# 86 - at CFC when you want to edit your posts, you press Ctrl+W and only then realize you aren't in Civ4 (and will have to reopen the browser/tab)
# 87 - you think the Spanish are all buddist and will try to convert/whip everyone who isn't
# 88 - you wonder why wasting so many :hammers: building the internet, and that it wasn't need any :science: at all to complete it
# 89 - you can't understand why did Rome was destroyed by puny barbarians, i mean they had praetorians!
# 90 - your girlfriend's/wife's head would NOT look good at the end of a (your) pole, because though she's so nice to you
# 91 - you think that in the Modern world everyone's religious
# 92 - you think your girlfriend is Catherine and lives in Moscow, i mean, she's the only leader that seems to have sex

@dwaxe - I'm on Monarch difficulty with some pretty dumb AI, I can tell you!

93. You dream Qin Shi Huang is boxing you in.
94. You dream Justinian is making you get up and go to church.
95. You start ascribing Civ traits to modern politicians (Barack Obama - Charismatic, Creative; David Cameron - Creative, Psychotic; Gordon Brown - Financial, Disorganised).
96. You dream Gilgamesh is demanding his droit de seigneur of you and you wake up and your OH is asking you to marry him :):):D.

97. You have wet dreams about the Russian leader.
98. When you saw the Russian military parades couple years back, you were thinking: "WTF damn big a stack of doom!"
99. You are thinking that Somalia is buggy as the anarchy is taking too long.
100. You wouldn't go on a trip to Mexico because you could meet Monty there.

101. You wonder why all of medieval europe had feudalism when its such a useless civic.
102. You think that giving women the vote improves the efficency of factories.
103. You think that when people are unhappy about a war they go on hunger strike. Once a few thousand people have died of hunger, everyone else just gets over it.
104. You describe every world leader as having only two characteristics.
105. You believe planes can instantly teleport to any city in the world.

101. You wonder why all of medieval europe had feudalism when its such a useless civic.


101 = lol

i'm always using feudalism! free XP and more units is all i need to whip everyone near me!

I guess you haven't played enough since feudalism doesn't give xp or units free from maintenance - thats vassalage. ;)

102. In traffic, when watching licence plates you wonder what happens when AGG-521 crashes with PRO-245 (Finnish plates have 3 letters - 3 numbers).

106. "What CIV5?"
107. You think all Civs other CFC mebers is laying out on the mod forum, is imaginary. (There's no such place as Brazil)
108. When not playing, you're rocking on the chair maniacly and say to yourself, "One more turn, one more turn, one more turn...".
109. You haven't got up for the bathroom for eight days now.
110. Actually, you didn't get up.
111. You've made song on YouTube named "Civilization is my life".
112. Never mind. You've never been on YouTube, since you always has been playing Civilization.

113. You think that Aployton is a greek city.
114. You don't understand why don't you hear the French civ tune when you're in Paris.
115. And when you take a plane, you think that we're in ancient times just because you don't hear no music.
116. You don't understand ecologists: choping forests is good for production!!!
117. You think that Sid Meier is the leader of the barbarians.
118. You wonder why Japan has not already built any national or world wonder.
119. You think that Monty Python Flying Circus has something to do with the aztecs and modding the python files.
120. You think that when you discover a new tech, the first thing that happens is Sid Meier (aka. leader of the barbarians) quoting somebody.

No, it's Leonard Nimoy. :p

121. You take loads of beakers home with you to help with research.

çthat's what happens when someone doesn't play the english version.

Sid voices only additional techs on BtS, so Nimoy is more logical conclusion.

122. You laugh at the French for not learning from the Chinese and building Versailles in the same city as their palace.

123. You think the Eiffel Tower is a giant broadcast tower.

124. You wonder why nobody has started work on a Space Elevator even though Robotics has been discovered.

125. You think that you can make ships move faster by sticking a fridge in them.

126. You get confused when you see someone planting trees and forests ("Just how is that possible?!").

127. You think there is no such thing as pollution.

128. You don't get to bed till 3 am. (True.)

129. You use tech-quotes in every day conversation:

"Bill, the company's bottom line is in shambles. What can we do?"

"You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails......"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Hath not the potter power over the clay...."

"Bill! Damnit, accounts receivable is needing an answer and did you just say "Hath"?"

"Beep, beep, beep....."

129. You use tech-quotes in every day conversation:

"Bill, the company's bottom line is in shambles. What can we do?"

"You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails......"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Hath not the potter power over the clay...."

"Bill! Damnit, accounts receivable is needing an answer and did you just say "Hath"?"

"Beep, beep, beep....."

Good one.
I don't meen to be a party pooper, but there is a thread exactly like this one in the Civ4 General Discussions thread.
It is even active at this very moment.
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=280976

In church, you can't remember any of the service music so you just sing the music that plays when you found Christianity over and over. At least until your pewmates bash you over the head.

You frequently refer to yourself to your friends as "Huayna Capac357" :mischief:

On your resumé instead of writing your experience you write "Philosophical/Charismatic, I will get +50%Great People to work here and make people happier and more experienced. I favor Bureaucracy so I would be great as a secretary, and I would double my production if I worked in the company's HQ."

You frequently petition your senator to change from Free Religion to Pacifism for the GP bonuses.

You fail world history.

On a test about Gandhi you put "was spiritual/philosophical and favored universal suffrage. Gandhi pwned the Incas in the great 12th Century war, developed nukes in the 19th century and founded all of the world's major religions.

11. You believe that a nuke can't really destroy an entire city.

not even 100 can. :blush:

On a map you list the locations and times of historecal events that happened in the game you played last night.