okay here comes the thread nobody has waiting for:
the most stupid and lamest jokes in the world
they are so lame they get actually funny(if you smoked some pot)
joke n1)patient:doctor i think i gonna die
doctor:shut up
joke n2)whore n1:i gonna suckie suckie for 10 dollars
soldier:here you may have this(soldier gives the whore a tube full of ****)
soldier:now suck it!
joke n3)a cabdriver and a priest die at the same time
they both arrive in heaven and the cabdriver may enter first leaving dr priest alone
after a while ask the priest to saint stfghfghfkjghgkfghfkjg
may i go in?
saint:no the cabdrivers passengers prayed that he would live your people in your churche prayed that you died!
joke n4)3 people of a footballteam die
the first one enters the gates of heaven
the guardian asks:how many women do you fuc ked in your life?
footballplayer1:5 women
guardian:okay you ger wings of 2 meter and now you are a angel
the second footballplayer arrives
the guardian asked again:how many women did you fuc ked in your life?
he says:56 women
guardian you now get wings of2 meter tall and now you are a angel
the 3rd one arrives and the guardian asked again how many women did you fuc ked in your life?
he answers:wzll ...uhm i am euh....virgin
the guardian you get now wings of 20 centimers tall and now you are a stupid chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





plz send your lame jokes

I hope these were meant to be stupid jokes... otherwise, lay off the drugs man!;)

Anyway, heres one:

What do you call a short psychic that is warranted for arrest:
A Small Medium at Large ;)

Wow that was a dumb joke!:crazyeye:

What if Ghandi had had bad breath?

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Haletosis

(for those foreigners who haven't seen "Mary Poppins", don't feel bad)

another joke:
women:hello dear husband i want that you f**k me
husband:no i am sorry i gonna go to the whores

What is brown and sticky?

A stick!


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Aaargh stop this madnes at once:aargh3: :aargh:

Kill me now.

Q. What did the fish say when it crashed into the wall?

A. Damn!

patient:uhm doctor...
doc.WHAT!
patient: i think you should look at my wife
she thinkes she is a cow...
doc:well bring her here!
patient:no way!she gives me everyday good milk...

Sigh...

Two sperms burst into a tunnel, on an important journey.

Sperm 1: Is this it?
Sperm 2: Yep.
Sperm 1: We're on our way to the egg?
Sperm 2: Yeah, but that's us just past the tonsils.

:cry:

one chicken came to a another one
the end

Phillipe died. Hooray!!!:beer:

joke number 9)a dog came to a cat the cat said miauw
the dog said woef and the crazy cow said:miauw

A man walked into a bar and said ouch...

Philippe is a stupid CFC member
Dominix is a spamming CFC member.

Dominix is banned.

Goodbye :D

(I laughed :lol: )

i dont want to get banned

Originally posted by philippe
i dont want to get banned

Where is the Smily for holding my head in my hands!

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET BANNED, THEN STOP SPAMMING!

two proton talked to each other:

The first said: i think i lost an electron
the second said: Are you sure
The first response: I'm Positive!!!

This aint spam, it is humour.

Originally posted by Badluck
two proton talked to each other:

The first said: i think i lost an electron
the second said: Are you sure
The first response: I'm Positive!!!
Great joke! :lol:
(actually it's the first physics joke I understand.....)

Ok Here's another bad joke that I heard yesterday

A (insert 3 groups of people here*) were sitting in the back of a car. Who was Driving?

A policeman

*When I was told this it was three racial minorities. I decided to edit it and let you use any three groups of people you like. I didn't wan't to cause any offence.

Three members of different ethnic groups are walking down the street when a guy jumps out of nowhere with a syringe.

He says, "Gimmie your money or i'll inject you with the AIDS virus."

The (ethnic group) guy and the (another ethnic group) guy immediately give up their wallets, but the (yet another ethnic group) guy refuses and the mugger jabs him with the syringe and takes off.

The (first ethnic group) guy and the (second ethinc group) guy ask the (third ethnic group) guy why he didn't just give up his money. The (third ethnic group) guy replies, "It's okay, i'm wearing a condom." :rolleyes:

Seen that joke before :rolleyes: Although it was slightly different...

Now for the dirty kid's ones.

A (first race, usually your own), (second race, most likely the one which is not too popular with football fans in your country) and an (third race, of a country that involves terrorism) are in a baloon, but it begins to fall. One says to the others: "We'd best throw out stuff if we want to stay in the air." However, no-one can agree on what to throw out. Says one man: "Why not throw out things important to us?" They agree.

The (first race) says: "I'll throw out (object assossiated with nation)"
The (second race) says "I'll throw out (object assossiated with nation)"
The (third race, assossiated with terrorism) says: "I'll throw out this bomb"

When they get down,
They find three boys. The first is crying "A (national object 1) fell on my mum and killed her!"
The second is crying "A (national object 2) fell on my mum and killed her!"
The third is laughing "I farted and the house behind me blew up!"


HO HO HO :cry:


What do you call a russian with three testicles?
Whoodjanickabollockov! :cry:

Got a new one for ya, kids!

What will a computer accept that a woman won't?

A 3.5 inch floppy.


IMPORTANT! THIS BAD JOKE AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! ONLY WHILE UN-MODDEDNESS LASTS!

Very funny Six!

Somehow I think that they will not be removed either since you can post most things in this forum section.

someone went to afghanistan.he saw our good friend bin laden.
he took bin laden beard and chopped it into pieces and bin laden took a plane and was never seen before......

Q:Why did the leopard wear a trench-coat to school?

A:Because he didn't want to be spotted taking out his MP5.

*Runs from stage as people throw things and shout things* like:

"That was horrible. People died in those tragic events and your making fun of them. Whats wrong with you? Don't you know that telling a joke about that stuff magically kills more people? You are truly sick!"




:vomit:

segeant kilgore
i said post here your lame and sick jokes!
so you knew there was something like that so dont complain!

Originally posted by philippe
segeant kilgore
i said post here your lame and sick jokes!
so you knew there was something like that so dont complain!

I hope you know that I posted the joke. That 'complaining' at the bottom was a mock of those lame-wads who get ofended by such stuff. In fact, I modified that joke from a REALLY lame children's joke.

hehehe,thats quite funny, but very bad taste.

Originally posted by Sixchan
Got a new one for ya, kids!

What will a computer accept that a woman won't?

A 3.5 inch floppy.


IMPORTANT! THIS BAD JOKE AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! ONLY WHILE UN-MODDEDNESS LASTS!
That jokes not exactly new ;) It was told by someone else on this site some time earlier, you cant go stealing other peoples jokes :p and calling them new :lol:
oh that joke is here----------> http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4194

1)why do you put a baby by the foot in a blender?

To see is expression


2) What do you do when you want to wash your baby but the water is too hot.

You put gloves on.


3) What's more funny then a dead baby?

A dead baby with a clown nose

4)What's more horrible then 10 baby in a dustbin ( what you put trash in)

1 baby in 10 dustbin


the other one need visual aspect.:(