http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/11067

Some old timey humor...

HOVIS

A Health Bread.

[Illustration]

SOME FACTS,

HOVIS Strengthens: Contains 11.13% Proteid.

HOVIS Promotes Energy: Contains 42.34% Carbohydrates, and 2.11% Fat.

HOVIS Builds Bones: Contains 1.62% mineral matter.

HOVIS is Pure: Contains no adulterants.

HOVIS is Digestive: Contains Cerealin, a valuable digestive ferment.

HOVIS is Pleasant: The large proportion of germ renders it sweet and
nutty.

HOVIS is Uric-Acid-Free: Thus Best Brown Bread for Gouty Subjects.

Dr Gordon Stables says, in "Fresh Air Treatment for
Consumption"--"The bread I use is Hovis; I am enthusiastic on it."


FOR HOME USE.

Hovis Flour can be obtained from most bakers. It makes delicious
Scones, Pastry, Puddings, and gem Pan Rolls.

Post exerpts of this any other funny public domain texts for all to enjoy!

FRUITARIAN SNACK and LUNCH ROOM

28 Buchanan St. and
45 Argyll Arcade,
Glasgow.

The Choicest Viands, delicately cooked by Super-Heated Steam in jacketed
Boilers of Pure Nickel, and daintily served

Fruitarian Breakfasts} From 9 o'clock
Porridge (varied),}
Snacks, 9 to 12
Luncheons, 12 to 3
High Teas, 3 to 6.45

Cranston's Tea Rooms, Ltd.

STUART CRANSTON.



Bolding mine. I :love: Reform Cookery!

WHY HESITATE?

Thousands of grateful consumers by their daily use of Vejola, F.R. Nut.
Meat, Meatose, Nutmeatose, and Nutvejo, &c., endorse the verdict
of the best judges that there are no other Nut Meats equal to them for
Roasts, Stews, Pies, Hashes, Sandwiches, Chops, Steaks, and Rissoles.
Sample of any one of these sent for 8d., post free.


TRY A TIN TODAY.

Idealists will also find an ideal food in Nut Cream Rolls and
Biscuits. They are made from choice nuts converted into a rich cream,
mixed with a finely stone-ground wheatmeal, containing all the nutritious
elements of the golden wheatberry. This makes them the most nourishing and
concentrated food obtainable. Made in 30 varieties. Assorted sample 1/-
post free. Procure a packet now,

THEN YOU WILL ACT
LIKE OLIVER TWIST

Also get samples of the L. N. F. Co.'s Nut and Fruit Cakes, Genoa Cakes,
Malted Nut and Fruit Caramels, Chocolate Nut and Fruit Dainties, and our
wonderful new Savoury Nut Meat, NUTTORIA, which you will enjoy

AND ASK FOR MORE.

Samples of above five last-named foods sent for 2/6 post Free.

SOLE MANUFACTURERS:

The London Nut Food Co.,

465, Battersea Park Road, London, S.W.



WELL?!!? WHY HESITATE!?!?

THE PEOPLE'S FRIEND,

The Favourite Home Magazine.

CONTAINS:

High-Class Popular Serial Stories
Delightful Short Stories
Humorous Sketches
Brightly-written Informative Articles
Wives and Daughters Page
Household Page
Column for Violin Players
Civil Service and Students Column

&c. &c. &c.

1d.

Sold by Newsagents throughout the United Kingdom.

1d.


Crazy magazines, back then

I FOUND ANOTHER!

"Questionable Amusements and Worthy Substitutes" (http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext01/jmjdy10.txt)

BY: J.M. Judy

SUBJECT: A 1905 rant about the evils of various things people do for fun.


ON GAMBLING: "First of all is the professional gambler. He has no other business. His investment is a "pack of cards" and a box of "dice. See him with his long, slender fingers; with his shaggy, unkempt hair; with keen eyes, and a sordid countenance. He is prepared to "rake in" a thousand dollars a night, and would not hesitate to strip any man of his fortune."

ON TOBACCO: "However noble or worthy in character may be some who use tobacco, yet by common consent it is a "tool of the devil." Every den of gamblers, every low-down grogshop, every smoking-car, every public resort and waiting-room departments for men, every rendezvous of rogues, loafers, villains, and tramps is thoroughly saturated with the vile stench of the cuspidor and the poisonous odors of the pipe and cigar."

ON DANCING: "The modern dance in which both sexes freely mingle, irrespective
of character, purely for amusement, at late hours, at which intoxicants,
in some form, are generally used, is, essentially, an institution of vice.
The modern dance is as different from the dancing of ancient times,
and from the dancing sanctioned in the Bible, as daylight is from dark,
as good is from bad. The modern dance imperils health, it poisons the
social nature; it destroys intellectual growth; and it robs men and women
of their virtue. "

ON THEATER-GOING: "WITH drunkenness, gambling, and dancing, theater-going dates from
the beginning of history, and with these it is not only questionable in
morals, but it is positively bad. Every one who knows any thing about
the institution of the theater, as such, knows that it always has been
corrupting in its influence."

I hadn't realized what a morally terrible person I was :(

Dr. Cuyler says: "Every person of common sense knows that the actual
average theater is no more an ideal playhouse than the average pope
is like St. Peter, or the average politician is like Abraham Lincoln. A
Puritanic theater would become bankrupt in a twelvemonth. The great
mass of those who frequent the playhouse go there for strong, passionate
excitements..I do not affirm," says Dr. Cuyler, "that every popular play
is immoral, and every attendant is on a scent for sensualities. But the
theater is a concrete institution, it must be judged in the gross and to a
tremendous extent it is only a gilded nastiness. It unsexes womanhood
by putting her publicly in male attire--too often in no attire at all."

He should know, he's a doctor!