If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.



Can a mod change Jake to Jack in the title please?

Jack Bauer is so cool, that people can`t remember his name? Don`t you dare edit your post after a moderator has changed the title! :p

Rip-off! :p

Rip-off! :p

In my own defence I'd like just say this was not my original idea.

omg omg chuck norris jokesareso fun-SHUSH YOU.

Jake bauer (whoever he is;) ) is sooo cool, he wouldn't even wince when chuck is bumming him with his 20" donkey-dong.

Some of those jokes are Chuck ripoffs.

Jack Bauer is so fat he sat on a rainbow and skittles came out.

Jack Bauer is so awesome his parents named him Jack Bauer.

When Jack Bauer gets diarrhea the explosive force causes massive pitting of the toilet's porcelain.

Jack Bauer is so famous, i had to wiki him to see who he was.

Jack Bauer is so famous, i had to wiki him to see who he was.

Ice burn.

also, Macguyver is so awesome, Jack Bauer Cleans his boots with his tongue for him.

FredLC could totally kick Jack Bauer's ass.

I could have been Jack Bauer's dad, but a German shepherd beat me over the fence.

I could have been Jack Bauer's dad, but a German shepherd beat me over the fence.

:lol::lol::lol::rofl:

Anyway Jack O'Neill is way tougher than Jack Bauer:cool:


Ducks behind wall to avoid rotton fruit...:eek: