View Full Version : A Piffilian Love Letter to Aloha


Tubby Rower
Jun 01, 2007, 04:53 AM
Dear Alohans,

Roses are red
Aloha means hi
but unfortunately
it also means bye!!

your new enemies,
Piffle

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 06:38 AM
Not much of a love letter

Your poetry could use some work :p

robboo
Jun 01, 2007, 06:45 AM
not unexpected either....

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 06:47 AM
not unexpected either....

Well its a well known fact that tubby isn't much of a poet

Tubby Rower
Jun 01, 2007, 06:51 AM
come on guys I spent nearly 4 hours on that one. Give me some credit.. at least it rhymes :p

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 06:52 AM
In what language?

Tubby Rower
Jun 01, 2007, 07:01 AM
:pat: hi and bye... umm the 1st and 3rd lines don't rhyme of course

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 07:07 AM
Yeah well you haven't sent the save yet so i need to fill in the time while waiting, and picking on your poetry is keeping me amused :p

So if you want me to stop send the save then we can get to work


Now that cleared up

If the 2nd and 4th line rhyme with each other, then it stands to reason the 1st and 3rd should do likewise

Tubby Rower
Jun 01, 2007, 07:12 AM
Sorry Conroe must have been exhausted from all of that combat. I'll check to see if he's awake after his post-killing-spree nap.

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 08:34 AM
Or maybe you weren't suppose to make the announcement until next turn

Whomp
Jun 01, 2007, 08:36 AM
:mischief: I'd like to file my complaint about Aloha in this thread.

We surely hope Aloha gives this letter five minutes of its precious cappuccino-sipping, cancer-stick-puffing time. First, the misinformation: Aloha suggests that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. Where the heck did it come up with that? We'll tell you the answer in a moment. But first, let us just say that it would be wrong to imply that it is involved in some kind of conspiracy to convince impressionable young people that it has the trappings of deity. It would be wrong because its adages are far beyond the conspiracy stage. Not only that, but it coins polysyllabic neologisms to make its methods of interpretation sound like they're actually important. In fact, its treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary.We are hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why are we hurt? Because Aloha's ruses are propaganda to the point of comedy and are so easily refuted as to render them useless even as such. That's the sort of statement that some people claim is neurotic, but which we believe is merely a statement of fact. And it's a statement that needs to be made, because we like to speak of Aloha as "illiterate". That's a reasonable term to use, we suspect, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, its lies come in many forms. Some of its lies are in the form of vituperations. Others are in the form of sentiments. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion. Why are we furious? Because the problem of pugnacious sideshow barkers serves as an excuse for Aloha to express its own hostility and frustrated need for power. (Actually, Aloha has been a bad apple for as long as we can remember but that's not important now.) And why are we embarrassed? Because if the people generally are relying on false information sown by indecent cutthroats, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. This much is clear: Aloha's occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are its promises. In fact, Aloha sees no reason why it shouldn't drive us into a state of apoplexy. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let us enlighten and outrage you by stating that Aloha either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. It even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to extinguish the voices of opposition. To end on a more positive note: Aloha fears nothing more than the exposure of its motives and activities.


Good day and long live the Pifflenatress!!!!

Brought to you by Scott Pakin's complaint letter generator (http://www.pakin.org/complaint?firstname=Aloha&pgraphs=1&gender=c)

Tubby Rower
Jun 01, 2007, 08:37 AM
Or maybe you weren't suppose to make the announcement until next turn

no there was definately some blood spilt and some buildings burned:goodjob:

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 08:41 AM
:mischief: I'd like to file my complaint about Aloha in this thread.



Brought to you by Scott Pakin's complaint letter generator (http://www.pakin.org/complaint?firstname=Aloha&pgraphs=1&gender=c)

Awww... And i was so hoping that i would get to send you a complaint letter since i know you are so fond of them

dutchfire
Jun 01, 2007, 09:32 AM
My I point you to the Stories of Bravery and such (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=219239) thread to give us foreigners an idea about the damage being done to both of you :D

BCLG100
Jun 01, 2007, 11:51 AM
So team epsilon must be fairly happy round about now huh? :)

Tubby Rower
Jun 01, 2007, 12:02 PM
dunno, you should ask them since it seems as though they've been trading with you recently

General_W
Jun 01, 2007, 12:44 PM
On behalf of The Leader of Epsilon, may he live forever, we would like to issue a statement calling for World Peace.

However, before this statement can be formally issued, it must be reviewed by our sub-committee on international statements and then be referred to central intelligence for analysis on potential world perception and reaction before finally making it to the Department of State for review and edit work. At that point, we're optimistic that it will finally work its way through the bureaucracy at the State Department and be delivered to the people's congress… which doesn't actually have any power, but pretends to by slowing down any decision with lengthy debates and symbolic votes. After approval from the people's congress is secured (or not, it really doesn't matter) the statement will have to face review from just 3 more sub-committees before it's formally given to the Foreign Minister (me) for actual release.

By the time this is all accomplished, we hope the problem will have just gone away.

:beer:

DaveMcW
Jun 01, 2007, 01:18 PM
Our ETA for spaceship launch is 196 turns. Try to keep them at war until then.

RegentMan
Jun 01, 2007, 01:37 PM
If the 2nd and 4th line rhyme with each other, then it stands to reason the 1st and 3rd should do likewise
Well, there is more than one style of poem...

robboo
Jun 01, 2007, 02:16 PM
Our ETA for spaceship launch is 196 turns. Try to keep them at war until then.

figured that much out too...:)

My guess is Epsilon is behind both of the wars. How very "Shadow" of you. ;)

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 05:43 PM
dunno, you should ask them since it seems as though they've been trading with you recently

:confused: :lol: :rotfl: :rotfl: :lol:

And who told you that, Epsilon?

Well i'll ask BC, have you being trading with Epsilon and not been telling the rest of the team?:crazyeye:

We have not done one single trade with Epsilon the entire game.

Tubby Rower
Jun 01, 2007, 07:24 PM
We have not done one single trade with Epsilon the entire game.perhaps 2, 3, or 7 then :p? I know how that diplo double-speak tongue works... it just doesn't work in my mouth. I'm as blunt as the back of an axe

peter grimes
Jun 01, 2007, 07:35 PM
My guess is Epsilon is behind both of the wars. How very "Shadow" of you. ;)

The Leader, may He live Forever, is rules a Shadowy nation. Please edit your addressbook accordingly :)

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 07:36 PM
perhaps 2, 3, or 7 then :p? I know how that diplo double-speak tongue works... it just doesn't work in my mouth. I'm as blunt as the back of an axe

The number you are looking for is zero:p
We have had zero trades with Epsilon, is that blunt enough for you?

So how many have you guys had? 10? 20? 30?

robboo
Jun 01, 2007, 08:21 PM
hey Tubby...you need to pay attention a bit more. Also if you check the foreign relations screen I think you can tell who we have been trading with. And since that is a trick I learned from you...I figured you would have checked it.

Conroe
Jun 01, 2007, 10:09 PM
So team epsilon must be fairly happy round about now huh? :)
My guess is Epsilon is behind both of the wars. How very "Shadow" of you. ;)
And who told you that, Epsilon?We have had zero trades with Epsilon, is that blunt enough for you?
What is this fixation that you all have with Epsilon? :confused:

Did BCLG make some sort of freudian slip? And now the rest of you are trying to cover it up? Trying to divert our attention towards who trades with whom? :huh: But divert our attention from what? Because frankly, I just don't see it! :dunno:

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 11:02 PM
What is this fixation that you all have with Epsilon? :confused:

Did BCLG make some sort of freudian slip? And now the rest of you are trying to cover it up? Trying to divert our attention towards who trades with whom? :huh: But divert our attention from what? Because frankly, I just don't see it! :dunno:

Nice bit of editing there. You completely skipped the part where Tubby brought up the epsilon trade issue.
Very clever:rolleyes:

Conroe
Jun 01, 2007, 11:13 PM
Nice bit of editing there. You completely skipped the part where Tubby brought up the epsilon trade issue.
Very clever:rolleyes::lol: Sorry, no editing. Just actual Aloha quotes.

I just don't understand your fixation on Epsilon, that's all. But hey, if you don't want to address the question ... well, I understand completely. ;) ;)


As far as Tubby is concerned, I'm pretty sure he and Epsilon aren't exchanging any Christmas cards. :lol:

Robi D
Jun 01, 2007, 11:46 PM
:lol: Sorry, no editing. Just actual Aloha quotes.
Not quotes, replies. Replies to tubby assertion of trades.

I just don't understand your fixation on Epsilon
No fixation, just a good understanding of Geopolitics.

As far as Tubby is concerned, I'm pretty sure he and Epsilon aren't exchanging any Christmas cards. :lol:

Don't you mean Confusmas ;)

classical_hero
Jun 02, 2007, 04:45 AM
No, that is Confuciusmas. I must say that it is disturbing that all this talk about Epsilon covering the whole world politics. Let's not talk about this bizarre cover up again.

General_W
Jun 04, 2007, 11:10 AM
Gentlemen!
I believe I can clear this all up by just revealing that <censored> was the one who initially <censored> and that's why <censored> <censored> which launched the whole <classified> leading to this current confusion.

EDIT: er… apparently The Leader, may he live forever, has "editors" active here in the UN thread also… I thought this kind of thing only happened in our internal forum… :blush: