We all love poking fun at each Civilization by making tongue in cheek UU's so lets dedicate a thread to it here are a few of mine

France
French Gunman
Surrenders immediately to any attacker and becomes a worker for the attacker

America
Gay Bomberhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_bomb (NOT being homophobic follow the link)
Drops a bomb that forms a rainbow over the enemy units... and nothing happens.

How about the experimental "Anti-tank Cavalry" for Poland?

Base strength of 3, with 150% retreat odds.:D

British Infantryman. Base strength varies between 5-25, depending on whether the army bothered to issue him body armour, or whether his SA80 breaks down or not.

American Infantryman. Base strength 25, but cannot identify the nationality of other units. All other units appear as barbarians, except the British ones, who appear as bright red glowing barbarians with bullseyes on their backs.

Football Hooligan -- English, replaces warrior. For every Football Hooligan present in a non-English city beyond the number of garrisoned military units in that city, the city gets one unhappy.

Leonidas -- Greek, replaces great general. Can be heard all across the map.
THIS IS
SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3rd tank -- American, replaces tank. Requires: Tank 1, Tank 2. Description: because the first two never work.
Don Quijote -- Spanish, replaces knight. Can replace windmills with ruins.

Technology
Modern Education: Reduces your science output by 90%, makes your citizens demolish buildings at random.

Religion
-Internet Culture
Requires: Hollywood, Internet
Religion will spread at random.
Chuck Norris wins the game, if more than 50% of the cities have it

American: Mercenary. Only available upon founding Blackwater corporation. Base strength 30. Can attack all units, friendly or enemy, and can reduce population in cities (-1 per turn)

Chinese: Tiananmen Square protester. Base strength 1. Can only be attacked by tanks. Good for SoD defense.

Italian GG. Reverts back the unit he's aggregated to, and every one in the same stack, to the preceding unit on the technology progress tree.

Fakir - Indian
If attacked, climbs rope and disappears, leaving bed of nails making tile impassable to all except Air units.

Tourist - American.
Movement 3: must move every turn: gives +1 gold in every foreign city visited.

Flying Carpet - Persian (of course)
Cannot be attacked by melee units: obsolete with Machinery.

American: Televangelist. Available when Mass Media is researched. Replaces Christian missionary. -25% Science rate in the city the unit is used on. Spreads Christianity further. Exacerbated if Theocracy is your religious civic.

American: Ugly American Replaces scout. Annoys every territory and civilization he enters. Causes -3 relations. :cool:

Italian tanks which only have a reverse gear.

Ottomans (Turkey): - Kebab Shop Owner. Gives -1 health in any city it enters.


Khmer: - Khmer Rouge. -75% population all cities. Resets turn count to zero

American:
Chuck Norris = 255 strength, 4 moves, 10 first strikes, Commando promotion.... :worship:

Russia (Cold War):
Communist Workers = replaces regular Worker, but takes 4 times as long to build anything
"In Soviet Russia, coal mines dig YOU!"

Russia (post-Cold War):
Gangster = replaces corporation executive, takes over any corporate branch office to eliminate all benefits of the corporation and redirect all profits to the Russian Mob

Rome:
http://i190.photobucket.com/albums/z43/frob2900/Posts/praetorian-1.gif
(credit to frob2900)

English:
Austin Powers = replaces regular Spy, 50% discount on espionage missions against a rival empire with a female leader :groucho:

Japanese:
Ninja = replaces Crossbowmen, insta-kills any Melee unit except for Chuck Norris:ninja:

^^^Yeah, Chuck Norris get's +1000% vs. melee units, mounted units, archery units, gunpowder units, siege units, and naval units. Upon getting combat V, the Norris Flight promo is available which allows Chuck Norris to attack air units. And then, the Roundhouse Kick promotion which gives +50% collateral damage.

American - Civilian of the greatest, most powerful, and richest country of all time. Therefore the citizens work harder and are smarter in American cities.

Civic - Delusional Racism

Makes citizens believe they are somehow genetically superior to those outside of their man defined borders. +10% production, commerce but 1 :yuck: for every 10% of foreign culture within the civs borders.

:mischief: :lol:

How about the experimental "Anti-tank Cavalry" for Poland?

Base strength of 3, with 150% retreat odds.:D


We never charged tanks with horses... :rolleyes: Please listen to this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p67IVwRUilc

Infact, russia and germany used horses more then poland.

how about a "car thief" for Poland?

automatically disables all motorized enemies inside the cultural borders :D


oh, and a new "Mafia Corp" for Italy.
costs money, kills population, hurts production and spreads by itself

how about a "car thief" for poland?

automatically disables all motorized enemies inside the cultural borders :D

Nah, our cool minitanks which we charged panzers with are better! :P :joke:

"Not necessarily the UU's.." but some new GP's...

The "Not So" Great Artist: Gives civilization $39.95 Gold per week from starving artist sales.

The Mad Scientist: Allows civ to build One Unique unit from parts of all units available to them at their current tech level. The Special Unit destroys anything it comes in contact with, and is best deployed near your enemies border. The Special Unit can only be soothed by the female spy and certain female leaders. It will turn against it's creator civ if it gets slapped around by Catherine.

The "Great" General: All units get +100% retreat, unless in a battle they cannot win. Enables Promotions: Suicide Charge I,II,III... ( -20% chance of victory each level... ) guaranteeing units will die for no good reason.

I spy: Special spy unit capable of special spy mission in the enemy capitol. Engages enemy civ's leader in a game of 20 questions, distracting him/her long enough for you to take control of their empire and instantly win the war.

Natalie Merchant: Available on hit records... causes +1 :), -2 :yuck:

Great Engineer: Causes +1 :)... cuz his train is on time....:D

Tim

Al Gore
Stops and reverses all global warming

Manbearpig
invincible requires (Worker, Pig, and barbarian bear)

Strelet-Russian UU, replaces Infantry. 10 hammers. Loses 80% strength in every fight, whether they win or not.

^^^Yeah, Chuck Norris get's +1000% vs. melee units, mounted units, archery units, gunpowder units, siege units, and naval units. Upon getting combat V, the Norris Flight promo is available which allows Chuck Norris to attack air units. And then, the Roundhouse Kick promotion which gives +50% collateral damage.

That would be cool, but I would still want to bring two for that defending spearman, just in case.

Al Gore
Stops and reverses all global warming


You forgot:

Unbuildable.
First civ to invent the Internet gets Al Gore.

Chevalier - France - replaces knight

-100% versus english longbows

Agincourt!!

Al Gore
Stops and reverses all global warming

Manbearpig
invincible requires (Worker, Pig, and barbarian bear)

Rofl

Prince of Persia

UU for Persian empire - Replaces swordsman

National unit - 1 allowed

+100% against melee units
4 :move:
Ignores terrain movement costs
Can slow game to Epic or Marathon speed for ten turns

:goodjob:

Celts - bar brawler - melee unit, causes no real damage and makes best friends with enemy straight after fight. Wets self.

American: Jack Bauer. Renders espionage useless in the city it's based in, but you can only build one. Causes -1 population every 24 turns due to 'enthusiatic' interrogation techniques.

England: Maggie Thatcher. -2 :hammers: in all mines for that city, but +2 :gold: from tax.

England: English Cricketer. Has no offence and is always easily beaten. Especially against former colonies.

America: Divorce Lawyer. Causes one :mad: and -50% :gold: in the city that it is stationed in.

Dutch: Cafe Owner. Cause 3 :) but causes the city to shut down for 5 turns due to being too high.

Vikings: Bikini Babe. Cause all other armies to stop in their tracks and become worthless on offence.

Pit of Spikes - counter to the Prince of Persia

Native American Horse Archer

free scalp with each exp

-50% vs. wiskey

Aztec, Maya, Inca, and Zulu UU - badunkadunk babe - hypnotizes enemy soldiers temporarily rendering them paralyzed with lust

English Farmer

armament - shotgun

counters rabbits, the french and darkies

Environmentalist - Squats on tile preventing chopping or building new towns.

American civilian / English civilian food consuption increases -1 :health:

Russian dolphin + 100% against subs

Chinese Puzzle - confuses enemy reducing their defensive capabilituy by 50%

Chinese Puzzle - confuses enemy reducing their defensive capabilituy by 50%

That is certainly one of the best fake UUs ever. :lol:

We never charged tanks with horses... :rolleyes: Please listen to this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p67IVwRUilc

Infact, russia and germany used horses more then poland.

And used them quite successfully, I might add.

http://www.lonesentry.com/articles/cavalry/index.html

Japan: Hideyoshi's Samurai. National Unit (max 2) Can be any of Samurai, Musketman, or Knight depending on which is optimal in the situation. Whichever, it is +50% Attack vs. Korean units and +20% Attack vs. Chinese or Mongol... but... If a "Tiger" (see below) is present in the combat as either a stack defender or attacker, Hideyoshi's Samurai must fight them and fights no other foe the same turn.

Korea: Tiger (Korean UU animal, Lion Class). costs 10. auto-pillages any pasture it ends a turn on. -3 healthiness to any city it ends a turn in.

also Korea: Great Admiral (GG attached to ship gets this promotion automatically) +100% vs. Japanese. No longer available after Chemistry is researched.

hehee!

American Bomber: causes collateral damage to nearby friendly units during war.

American President Bush: able to alter voting in UN

HRE prince

Replaces spy

Turns the enemies Diplo screen in terrible mess, adding 150 new entities to it with complex network of PA, DP, hates and frienships, etc , but gifts 1 HRE mitary unit to every one of those entities ( draining HRE army )

GW Bush: +1000% :hammers: for military production, -50% :health:

Corporations spread by themselves, gives a free branch of Ethanol Corp in every city, with mass media gives +1 :D

Consulting Engineer: American - replace spy. Tell the player things the player already knows , that are not interesting, and charge the player a very expensive bill for it. (50% of player gold to know that Ragnar is one of the AI present in game)

Zinedine Zidane: french UU - head butt any italian unit in proximity

Mcdonalds dude

Strengt 1 cannot move and causes 1 :mad: and 1 :yuck: where he is build
+ 3 :commerce:

England: English Cricketer. Has no offence and is always easily beaten. Especially against former colonies.


Australian Rugby Player. Will always lose in crucial battles despite having a high probability of winning. *cough 12-10 cough* :)

We never charged tanks with horses... :rolleyes: Please listen to this : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p67IVwRUilc

Infact, russia and germany used horses more then poland.

I think you missed the point of the thread :rolleyes:

"Baywatch " Syndication Wonder

Each broadcast tower belonging to another civ causes that city to
lose a beaker, spread your "culture" instead of their own, and give you gold.

American - Sherman Tank - costs less than regular tanks but blows up the first time it gets hit. You have to build like 20 to the enemy's 1.
Russia - "Commerade"- same as american tank but with people and they can't withdraw ever

French Worker

+50% Maintenance
1 First Strike

"English" Worker....

-50% Maintenance
Sends 10:gold: back to Poland or India every turn.

Aztech
"Undocumented" worker
+100% worker rate
can only work tiles on other nations borders
+1 :yuck: in all tiles due to littering

Special Event: Boris Johnson stands for London Mayor
Non-stop we love the Mayor event. Every bonus imaginable, but -1 relations, and -1 happyness in other cities, as he has insulted everywhere

Special Event: Boris Johnson becomes London Mayor - you lose the game.

Special Event: Boris Johnson becomes London Mayor - you lose the game.

With a special new "lower than dan quayle" Boris Johnson rating.

Australian Rugby Player. Will always lose in crucial battles despite having a high probability of winning. *cough 12-10 cough* :)

lol pity I'm from NZ.

French UU, the French Fodder Unit... replaces rifleman.. Strength 5, absorbs ALL collateral damage done to the stack. Surrenders afterwards.....

Anzac: Australia and New Zealand Army Corps unit. (Loses critical matches through over-confidence when assured of victory) :p

Oh yea, the Canadian worker........ Chops forest (+50% speed)--- Production bonus (-75% Hammers)... shoddy lumber

Swedish Bikini Team: All units except the Berserker is paralyzed by excessive drooling. The Berserker takes her for a cruise in his longboat to show her his great axe:)

MASH: Medic Unit that requires wine(dry martini) and causes +2 happiness :lol:

italian tank - (replaces tank) - has a 50% chance per turn to join any civilisation with which you are currently at war. 70% retreat chance.

British Forces (Various U.U. replacing units starting with Riflemen)
Strength is variable, depending on the amount of the new tea resource controlled.

asterix and obelix: french and celtic UU replacing warrior. Obelix starts with the special Magic Potion Promotion and have it permanently. Asterix gains it as soon as he sees any ennemy unit. The Magic Potion Promotion give a new action button to the unit having it: Punch the ennemy out of sight.

http://www.mcq.org/presse/images/asterix3.gif

^ They could have a special bonus against all melee units especially Roman Praetorians.

Finally Boudica of the Romans can be beaten!

Bear patrol: Replaces Stealt Bomber. Recon mission removes all bears from revealed tiles. Costs 5 gold per turn.

Anthony Hopkins.

Replaces warrior for Wales, unless discovered by America, in which case they steal him. Sometimes pretends to be a Russian submarine captain. 400% against bear. May include one of the Baldwin brothers (who has 100% against Hopkins).

I just watched The Edge last night. This post might not make much sence if you haven't seen it.:goodjob:

Special Event: Boris Johnson becomes London Mayor - you lose the game.

Boris Johnson becomes mayor- same effects as nuclear meltdown + 2 turns of anarchy.

Bear patrol: Replaces Stealt Bomber. Recon mission removes all bears from revealed tiles. Costs 5 gold per turn.


5 gold?! Thats the largest tax hike in history!!!!

French chef. +2 gold from finding truffles, +1 food from finding cows (due to cheese), +1 health from wine, has a probability of finding edible snails.