What is the most hilarious, ridiculous, or petty reason you went to war?

I once went to war because I wanted to try out the Viking's UU, which I had never seen in action... :D Let's just say they're awesome on Archipelago!

Another time, I actually went to war with the leader of the Khmer (he's actually my Avatar!) because I couldn't pronounce his name and didn't want to go the whole game trying to figure out how to say it.

Because some unpleasant leader referred to my large and powerful empire as "nasty". So I turned really nasty and obliterated him.

My fiancee was doing better than I was, so I bribed an AI to declare war on her.

When she started to do well against the AI, I also declared war on her.

I won.

Kathy said I was a politician that even she wouldn't sleep with.

If one of my cities, even a small garbage city culturally flips, I declare war to regain it, and "compensation" :)

I'll attack someone if they place a city where I want to build just a handful of turns before I'm able to settle there.

And well poisoning. Whoever poisons my cities gets theirs burned in return. :D

I attack people out of boredom all the time. I wonder if that's Bush's excuse? Cause my wars never turn out for the better either...

Because some unpleasant leader referred to my large and powerful empire as "nasty". So I turned really nasty and obliterated him.

Yeah - those AI "chat messages" can be really annoying. "Oh, I tought someone had wiped you petty civilization off the map ages ago" Very well mister Louis XIV, I'll erase your petty France off the maps, and off the history off the world aswell, and burn your capital down! Muhaha!

My fiancee was doing better than I was, so I bribed an AI to declare war on her.

When she started to do well against the AI, I also declared war on her.

I won.

Great >_<

Kathy said I was a politician that even she wouldn't sleep with.

Oooh. I have killed Cathy a couple of times if she slaps me. She's such a . .. .. .. .. .

Please don't use cuss words. The autocensor doesn't make them okay.

If one of my cities, even a small garbage city culturally flips, I declare war to regain it, and "compensation" :)

Of course. I don't consider that weird.

I'll attack someone if they place a city where I want to build just a handful of turns before I'm able to settle there.

And well poisoning. Whoever poisons my cities gets theirs burned in return. :D

Especially the last, I can identify with. If I am strong enough, I ususally end out wiping the surface of the earth entirely clear, only stopping when I hit the domination or conq limit. Then I stop up and wonder if should continue building up my cities or start a new game :p

I attack people out of boredom all the time. I wonder if that's Bush's excuse? Cause my wars never turn out for the better either...

I don't think so - strategic resources, mate! They sell nice :)

I hold a grudge.

One game, Catherine was being a real pain in the ---. Ultimately to the point of war.
Completely new game and I came across Cathy in her early stages. Sweet revenge as I razed her cities to the ground. I'd like to beleive she'll remember that the next time our path's cross.

I hold a grudge.

One game, Catherine was being a real pain in the ---. Ultimately to the point of war.
Completely new game and I came across Cathy in her early stages. Sweet revenge as I razed her cities to the ground. I'd like to beleive she'll remember that the next time our path's cross.

So classic. I drew Victoria in random in a LAN game and the Gilga AI rushed me and razed one of my cities and took over another, leaving me capital and two more. I quit and started over, and next time I stumble across that ...<Snip>... Sumerian... :devil:

Well, I was being careless in taking a barbarian city and there was one defender at the end of my turn, so the next turn ramesses swooped in and took out the last defender. So of course I had to declare war on him to take it back, even though it was poorly placed.

Because the he called me, the most powerful civ in the game. Weak and puny.


Needless to say, I annihilated him

Because the he called me, the most powerful civ in the game. Weak and puny.


Needless to say, I annihilated him

That's what the AI needs, a finesse diplo knowledge of when to shut up and obey :)

Lol! Wow, so many of these are just great! Loved the one about first bribing someone, then when they started to lose, joining the war against your fiancee...lol

I've found that there is something deeply satisfying with building up a large force, then looking around the map and going, "Well, these poor guys need someone to invade, so who's it gonna be, AI?" and then utterly crushing the chosen Civ (by whatever "reasoning"). If only there was a way to "rewrite history" as it were and remove any mention of them in history books, thus removing that annoying "You declared war on our friends!" modifier... ;)

Another time, I actually went to war with the leader of the Khmer (he's actually my Avatar!) because I couldn't pronounce his name and didn't want to go the whole game trying to figure out how to say it.

Ive done that too.

Eh, i once declared war on Darius because i hate his traits. Only if hes a rival tho.

Well, I went to war with Mansa because Toku made me stop trading with him, and one of my cities was on the other side of his civ and I couldn't get a missionary to him, and I didn't want to wait until he would talk again. I won. Cuz I was on Settler.

Also I went to war with Isabella because I wanted to find out how a tank looked in combat. So I used WB to give myself a Tank, SAM Infantry, Infantry, and Gunship, all with every promotion there is, and I think I still lost. Oh well. :dunno:

And once after Sitting Bull won Apostolic Palace Victory, I hit Just One More Turn and gave myself 1 :nuke: and 5 Modern Armor for each of his cities. He diedhahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaaahahah ahhahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhh ahahahahahahahhhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahaa hah

i was playing a very long (days and days and days) cultural victory game for an RB event. epic speed, couldn't run the culture slider over 20% so i played for hours and hours, it was really really fun. alex and tokugawa were my best friends forever the entire game.

but ... toku built rock and roll. i wanted all 3 of the happiness wonders, but i only two! what a stinker. and the city he built it in had pigs in its cross too. pigs, the only health resources i didn't have and couldn't get in trade!!! and it was conveniently close to alex's borders, i could capture it quick without going into the heart of his empire i figured.

so, i spent the last i'm-not-sure-how-many-years of the game building up a big war force while the rest of the fellas beat up on poor HC who never amounted to much even before the slugfest.

and then on the turn that i won the game, while my dear friend toku had most of his army on boats heading to inca-ville, i declared war on him over hit singles and pigs. i played the game long enough to capture that city, popped two spare great artists for great works to get the pigs (because i was fighting greek culture there too). i got my music and my bacon, i apologized to poor toku, and i called it a day *giggle*.

i still feel guilty about it. i mean how petty is that, i did it only after i won the game, to be sure he wouldn't kick my candybutt! but it was really fun.

Yeah - those AI "chat messages" can be really annoying. "Oh, I tought someone had wiped you petty civilization off the map ages ago" Very well mister Louis XIV, I'll erase your petty France off the maps, and off the history off the world aswell, and burn your capital down! Muhaha!

my absolute favorite was a game i was teamed with Asoka, and i was Gandhi (another RB event). so we were both India. we made some trade and he used that line that goes something like "thank you, whatever the name of your little civilization is" and i'm like DUDE!!!! it's the same as yours! :crazyeye:

[QUOTE=KMadCandy]i still feel guilty about it. i mean how petty is that, i did it only after i won the game, to be sure he wouldn't kick my candybutt! but it was really fun.

I wouldn't feel that guilty about kicking Toku around. Stingy trader and what not.

I once invaded Persia to get their oil.

Not interesting in and of itself, but quite amusing when comparing to modern times.

I'll attack someone if they place a city where I want to build just a handful of turns before I'm able to settle there.

There's nothing petty or silly about that. If I have the military :strength: to thoroughly beat the offender into submission I'll do it in a heartbeat. The AI does that just anger us. I do it ASAP like when it has population of 1, so that it is automatically razed.

I wouldn't feel that guilty about kicking Toku around. Stingy trader and what not.

no that's the thing, he was great to me that game. we were at friendly forever. he even traded me monopoly techs! bizarre game, toku even having monopolies to trade in the first place :lol: he started out with great land. omg i was terribly cruel... how could i?

no that's the thing, he was great to me that game. we were at friendly forever. he even traded me monopoly techs! bizarre game, toku even having monopolies to trade in the first place :lol: he started out with great land. omg i was terribly cruel... how could i?

Very cruel, indeed. Catherine-esque levels of backstabbing.

Once I declared war on Isabella because she tried to give me crabs. :mischief:

Mongolia had demanded a tech 3 times in quick succesion. The first time I said No, the second time i said no, the third time I declared war

I have also declared war because France would not give me Drama in 1768AD ! Because it was a brand new technology

i frequently give my wife a good laugh (she doesnt play, but LOVES to watch...weird, i know)...i attack civs sometimes by merit of their leader wearing a silly hat.
needless to say, american, british, and russian civs frequently last until the end of the game with me. korean, zulu, byzantine, and khmer civs are usually the first to go.
*shrug* hats arent entertainment. not in my world.
*whips 15 axemen and heads off toward wang kon*

i frequently give my wife a good laugh (she doesnt play, but LOVES to watch...weird, i know)...i attack civs sometimes by merit of their leader wearing a silly hat.
needless to say, american, british, and russian civs frequently last until the end of the game with me. korean, zulu, byzantine, and khmer civs are usually the first to go.
*shrug* hats arent entertainment. not in my world.
*whips 15 axemen and heads off toward wang kon*

Is Joao's hat not silly enough to tick you off? :crazyeye:

Is Joao's hat not silly enough to tick you off? :crazyeye:

unfortunately, i rarely get to start next to joao.
usually, he is a mid-game kill.
proto-sombreros DO anger me, though.

I started a war on Willem out of anger and sheer frustration born out of Espionage missions. He kept poisoning my cities even when we had a defensive pact with like +12 relations.

I said ok enough is enough and took about 40 odd tanks and a bunch of infantry and destroyed the Dutch in about 10 turns on Marathon speed.

I started the war because stupid English had almost the same colour for their flag as my Germans and were my borderstate. For sake of simple overlook they had to go...

my absolute favorite was a game i was teamed with Asoka, and i was Gandhi (another RB event). so we were both India. we made some trade and he used that line that goes something like "thank you, whatever the name of your little civilization is" and i'm like DUDE!!!! it's the same as yours! :crazyeye:

Or, playing Next War:

"Whaddup, dawg?"

:lol:

One time I declared on Hammurabi, and lost, so I went into WB and erased his stack and gave me lots of troops. I feel so ashamed...

Hee Hee. I did that too. Picked on Bismarck with some Uber-Veteran Redcoats - only 4 or 5, to be fair - he killed all of them with two riflemen defending a 5 city. Naturally toys came out of the buggy, one WB cheat later my 5 "Reborn" Redcoats duly took the city.

Two turns later Bismarck's SoD from Hell turns up and obliterates me from that continent!!

If I can't tell who is funding the infiltrators who are poisoning my wells and burning my windmills then I have been known to attack the next civ I notice producing a spy.

Well, it *could've* been them and I don't feel sorry for long...

Hee Hee. I did that too. Picked on Bismarck with some Uber-Veteran Redcoats - only 4 or 5, to be fair - he killed all of them with two riflemen defending a 5 city. Naturally toys came out of the buggy, one WB cheat later my 5 "Reborn" Redcoats duly took the city.

Two turns later Bismarck's SoD from Hell turns up and obliterates me from that continent!!



hehehe, serves you right

I was cultivating Mansa Musa for a permanent alliance when media was stolen from me. I checked the tech screen, and noticed Mansa had the advance. I immediately declared on him, sent my tanks across the continent, and razed like 5 of his cities. Midway through the battle, I realized that Mao also had that tech, and I had, in fact, earlier gifted that tech to Mansa Musa. Unfortunately, it was too late for the PA. He did make an alright vassel.

I'll attack someone if they place a city where I want to build just a handful of turns before I'm able to settle there.

And well poisoning. Whoever poisons my cities gets theirs burned in return. :D


Certainly the well poisoning bit. Had sooo many wars over that, and I do just burn their cities to the ground. Why would I want to pay for them, lol

I declared war on China because a Chinese guy was looking over my sholder when I was playing.

Other then that I declare war on monty all the time, just cause he's monty.


Great thread BTW!

Let's see... Well, as a leader, to be slapped in the face by Cathy or Alex merits war. I mean who do they think they are?

I've done it to purge the world of religions.

Oh yeah, and the best reason of all... 'Cause I wanted to!!!

I do notice though that the more civ I play, the less I let people get away with things... I've become quite cinic in my old age. hahaha

i frequently give my wife a good laugh (she doesnt play, but LOVES to watch...weird, i know)...i attack civs sometimes by merit of their leader wearing a silly hat.
needless to say, american, british, and russian civs frequently last until the end of the game with me. korean, zulu, byzantine, and khmer civs are usually the first to go.
*shrug* hats arent entertainment. not in my world.
*whips 15 axemen and heads off toward wang kon*


War Joao, the king of silly hats..

Is Joao's hat not silly enough to tick you off? :crazyeye:
Joao looks kinda gay to me. Look what he's doing as soon as you contact him, that little jump he has when he sees you, and when he refuses an offer, he needs to calm down when he hadn't even been excited at all.

Being deeply, even obsessively, into micromanagement, I keep track of the EPs my foes have against me. So if I suffer from an espionage mission, the culprit is the one whose total has gone down, and being also keen on spying I make him (or her) suffer horribly for daring to offend me - first by sabotage, fomenting unhappiness, and poisoning, then by war. But I suppose that's not a silly reason for declaring war, is it ?

The Russians kept asking me to help them fend off the aggressive advances of the Greeks. And I got tired of having to interrupt my game to click the button to deny their request. I figure the only way to make them stop asking was to declare war on them instead.

The Russians kept asking me to help them fend off the aggressive advances of the Greeks. And I got tired of having to interrupt my game to click the button to deny their request. I figure the only way to make them stop asking was to declare war on them instead.

That's a good way to stop annoying requests :lol:

Being deeply, even obsessively, into micromanagement, I keep track of the EPs my foes have against me. So if I suffer from an espionage mission, the culprit is the one whose total has gone down, and being also keen on spying I make him (or her) suffer horribly for daring to offend me - first by sabotage, fomenting unhappiness, and poisoning, then by war. But I suppose that's not a silly reason for declaring war, is it ?

:lol: i keep track of their points closely too, but maybe you're right, and not everybody is like us. i put signs on the map after a chunk of turns go by so that i can remember what they have. if they hit me with something painful and if i have CR, you can bet i'll use spies to switch them to sucky civics! that can be a very painful revenge. slows them way down which gives me more time to prepare for the war they're asking for.

i don't think it's a silly reason for me to declare war on them. but if they were to declare war on me for my use of spies, well, that would be a silly reason. so, i guess it could be called "petty" due to that :mischief:. i never claimed to be consistent!

I know I'm doing a lot of tangenting (is that a word?), but I noticed recently when I put signs on the map they come out with blurry resolution whereas the rest of the game is normal. I think this started when I installed the BlueMarble mod. Anybody else use BlueMarble and notice this also?

I once declared war because my "little" sister said kill that one because he was scary! (Turn out to be a bad day for Bismarck:lol:)

I was cultivating Mansa Musa for a permanent alliance when media was stolen from me. I checked the tech screen, and noticed Mansa had the advance. I immediately declared on him, sent my tanks across the continent, and razed like 5 of his cities. Midway through the battle, I realized that Mao also had that tech, and I had, in fact, earlier gifted that tech to Mansa Musa. Unfortunately, it was too late for the PA. He did make an alright vassel.

Hehe. Nicely done :crazyeye:

I declared war on China because a Chinese guy was looking over my sholder when I was playing.

Gooood style, miss :lol:

I once declared war because my "little" sister said kill that one because he was scary! (Turn out to be a bad day for Bismarck:lol:)

Nice. Already looking foward to my lil' cousin visiting. I'll help him identify the scary ones and then beat them up (Gilga, you're goin' down :mad: )

War Joao, the king of silly hats..

your wish is my command...in my latest game (prince, pangea, huge), i was england, and i marched all the way to the other side of the world specifically to accomodate your request.

now i'm wearing his silly hat, and sifting through joao's porno collection he keeps under his throne. not only does he have a silly hat, but he has some KINKY stuff in there!

I started the war because stupid English had almost the same colour for their flag as my Germans and were my borderstate. For sake of simple overlook they had to go...

been there, done that!

What, is that MY scout or HIS scout? Let's see what happenes when I move my Axe onto the same plot. Golly, I can declare war! :hammer:

oh, perhaps my most silly reason:

I was playing a marathon game on a huge map with 18 civs, and WorldWar5 was on. Interturns took half an hour, sometimes.

And that bast)&/() Sury dares pop up with one of his ingenious ideas - possibly it was his 'give me your world map for 1 Gold' or so. But since I had left the room the interturn did not proceed. Is that reason enough to kill him with a few dozen nukes and tanks? I think it is.......

oh, perhaps my most silly reason:

I was playing a marathon game on a huge map with 18 civs, and WorldWar5 was on. Interturns took half an hour, sometimes.

And that bast)&/() Sury dares pop up with one of his ingenious ideas - possibly it was his 'give me your world map for 1 Gold' or so. But since I had left the room the interturn did not proceed. Is that reason enough to kill him with a few dozen nukes and tanks? I think it is.......
:lol: http://www.mcarterbrown.com/forums/images/smilies/lmao.gif

But Jeez, just get a new computer already.

:lol: http://www.mcarterbrown.com/forums/images/smilies/lmao.gif

But Jeez, just get a new computer already.

it is brand new! Well, almost - it is 14 months old. What do you expect with such a large map and modern age and the map settled to hell......

no, I think I have a problem with the graphics card driver.

One of my first games of BTS (Continents map), I had Shaka on another continent. We've never hit it off right from the start (different religion). I spot a Zulu ship near my coast, my first thought is "naval invasion". My coastal cities are very thinly defended, but nearby I have an ironclad (I think it was an ironclad, or maybe a destroyer even) anyway, I decide on a pre-emptive strike and sneak attack the zulu ship. A bit later I realize that the ship is only a caravel, so it cannot possibly carry an invasion force. Oh well, I'm sure he was going to attack at some stage.
Same game, a bit later, I declared on Shaka again and nuked him, because I wanted to see what the nuclear explosion graphic looked like. :mischief:
I once declared war because my "little" sister said kill that one because he was scary! (Turn out to be a bad day for Bismarck) :D :D :D It must've been that pointy hat. I wonder what she would think of Monty.

It must've been that pointy hat. I wonder what she would think of Monty.

She now runs away everytime she comes into my room and i threaten to show them to her! :lol: It's a great way of getting her out of my room!

:D Fireaxis designers should be made aware that their leaderheads scare small children

:D Fireaxis designers should be made aware that their leaderheads scare small children

Signature!

I go to war with Monty all the time just because he makes me laugh when he gets angry.

If anyone near me makes an arrogant demand on my continent I'll stop whatever I'm doing ,even if I am already in a war. I'll peace everyone that I can and when that's done I'll make a few demands of my own. They'll have a -180 arrogant demand and I'll move my offense up right behind my cities. I don't want them to see it I want them to war. When the idiots declare war I just wait on their stack and crush it. Then I go over and burn everything on the way to their capital. Poison the rest. :D

Hi

I usually only start a war if a civ was dumb enough to build their country on my land before I could get there hehe O:)

Kaytie

There's nothing petty or silly about that. If I have the military :strength: to thoroughly beat the offender into submission I'll do it in a heartbeat. The AI does that just anger us. I do it ASAP like when it has population of 1, so that it is automatically razed.
Never going to happen IRL.

I once declared war on Musa because he was weak compared to my praets. Timbuktu with a few handy wonders is not such a dull spoil of war.

I declared war on Napoleon because I was angry that the French borders were blue and mine were not.

My army was getting bored.

I don't like their color.

They settled in a place i wanted to.

They aren't very strong.

They're out of their place (a continent with with China, Korea, Khmer and Portugal- bye bye, Joao ;))

I've lost a few games. Sometimes I take it wrong. I'll start a new game with my only goal to be to wipe out the civ I just lost to. I don't care about winning the game just making the insolant pay for his/her poor judgement.

Censoring myself...

I declared war once because a rival Civ beat me to a goody hut near my borders. :P

I nuked Korea in my last game because they beat me in the previous game. :P

today my EPs showed me that hammurabi was studying chemistry. my privateer captains told me that could not be allowed. so he's dead now. never did finish learning it, yarrrrrrrr! hubby thought that was rather silly, fighting a real war for the sole purpose of keeping that one tech out of AI hands, so that i can use my privateers to earn GG points while not being at war. but whatever.

today my EPs showed me that hammurabi was studying chemistry. my privateer captains told me that could not be allowed. so he's dead now. never did finish learning it, yarrrrrrrr! hubby thought that was rather silly, fighting a real war for the sole purpose of keeping that one tech out of AI hands, so that i can use my privateers to earn GG points while not being at war. but whatever.

:lol: Giggle :lol:

If I see a city with a cool name, I'll just attack it for no reason.

Cathy was second on the list,while I was first.She offered me to be my vassal.I thought she has a plan for destroying me.I declined the offer and declared war.
Roosevelt tried to bribe me for declaring war to Justinian.I am a lawful person and I decided join Justinian.
The worst one is,The furious Leaderhead of Cathy turns me on.I make often arrogant demands and getting her Annoyed.Then I declare war to her for making her Furious..:blush: :rolleyes:

I declare war on Isabella, just because she is a passive aggressive, arrogant little pain. I don't have any problems with the other warmongers, I just keep a close eye on them from my palace's porch and a loaded gun in my lap. It's just that I can't stand Isabella, and will march halfway across the map to make her be quiet.

I just obliterate whoever comes seeking an audience with me :)

I consider a rival settling too close to me to be an act of war; I just make it official ;).

I usually play late at night. I kill Justinian on every game early just so that I don't have to hear his creepy diplo music when he gives me surpirse visit. :mischief:

Once when I started a Terra map, I saw the French above me while scouting. I really hate that Louis Guy (obnoxious attitude, stupid music, stupid attire and fake moustache) so I went to war with him as soon as I met him because of those reasons. I didn't attack him at all, and I declared peace later on, but I still had that negative diplomatic thing for the rest of the game.

I think that's a funny reason to go to war- Because you really hate the guy's looks, not what they do (or else Monty is going down!)

Perhaps I should do the same with the Khmer empire. Because I have no idea who he is (as it's not top of my head knowledge) and because I hate the guy and his music.

not since civ 3, but i've gone to war because i see a worker i can grab.

Big list of quotes!!!



Kathy said I was a politician that even she wouldn't sleep with.

that also happened to me a few times, too bad i was already at war with her... :mwaha: ;)

If one of my cities, even a small garbage city culturally flips, I declare war to regain it, and "compensation"

me to, but i almost ever raze it! :lol:

Yeah - those AI "chat messages" can be really annoying. "Oh, I tought someone had wiped you petty civilization off the map ages ago" Very well mister Louis XIV, I'll erase your petty France off the maps, and off the history off the world aswell, and burn your capital down! Muhaha!


Oooh. I have killed Cathy a couple of times if she slaps me. She's such a . .. .. .. .. .


:agree: the messages are really annoying and repetitive :sad:

and cathy's slap is more than enough to WAR! [pissed]

Because the he called me, the most powerful civ in the game. Weak and puny.

Needless to say, I annihilated him

I always do that! :mwaha:

I once invaded Persia to get their oil.

Isn't that what Bush is doing right now? ;) (of course the Middle East folks don't like this a bit (neither we when we buy gasoline... :mad:))
In game, when without oil, WAR! (when i have oil, i build tanks and also enter war, so no matter with or without oil! :mwaha:)

Mongolia had demanded a tech 3 times in quick succesion. The first time I said No, the second time i said no, the third time I declared war

i'm always doing that ;) (those messages are really annoying; i wish i could remove them from game... :()

Or, playing Next War:

"Whaddup, dawg?"


One time I declared on Hammurabi, and lost, so I went into WB and erased his stack and gave me lots of troops. I feel so ashamed...

when in NW, "whaddup dogg?" is WAR!

when i lose (which is rare, even with so many (unprepared) wars!), the WB is an option and i don't feel ashame!!! :groucho: :mwaha: :lol: (BTW, losing isn't getting enemy units in my cities, it is when i can't capture theirs; real losses only happened in the beginning or when i'm in MultiPlayer)

I consider a rival settling too close to me to be an act of war; I just make it official ;).

i also do that, but the war is only official when a stack of +10 units enters the city's cultural influence! :evil:

not since civ 3, but i've gone to war because i see a worker i can grab.

I also do that, but it is an habit since Civ3! :rolleyes: (such a good way of winning workers and send them to a much more better country! :lol:)



I think this says more about me: an Warmonger without mercy with the puny AI!!! :nya: