Alright these have to be people that you know personally.

"Communism needs democracy like the human body needs oxygen."
–Leon Trotsky

"Error is Human, that's why there is rubber at the other end of the Pencil"

"Communism needs democracy like the human body needs oxygen."
–Leon Trotsky
You know Trotsky :eek:?

"Stars are space junk which reflect light from the Sun."

One of my friend who is a degree holder and completed 16 years of education...

"I think the universe will end when the Sun explodes."
- Girl in my old Science class

"Communism needs democracy like the human body needs oxygen."
–Leon Trotsky

Hey, maybe he was right. I mean, none of the communist systems tried so far were democratic, and they all failed.

Teacher: Pick any number from 1 - 5

Girl In My Class: Ooh! Ooh! Seven.

Note that she was dead serious.

--------------------------------

Same Girl in My Class (After watching a play about WWII): Did the Nazi's bomb Israel during World War II?
Me: Uhh, Israel didn't exist during World War II.
Girl: (Suprised Gasp) It was under water?

I'd say she's a few ears extra of a Van Gogh.

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"America is a democracy, but that can change..."

-Dan Quayle, former US Vice President to George Senior.

I swear to god this is absolutely true:

Me and a girl are watching Mtv (its her place) and that Ska8er b0i video comes on. She watches it, listens to the lyrics, scratches her head. Then she turns to me and says:

Oh my god! I got it! what she really means is that the skater boy is her current boyfriend! I cracked the code!

:D

"America is a democracy, but that can change..."

-Dan Quayle, former US Vice President to George Senior.

What's so dumb about that? He wasn't saying he wanted it to change, but it is a fact that it could change . . .

Carmen - I think the quote actually went something like:

"America is currently on an irreversible trend towards freedom and democracy... But that could change..."

"I think that Swedes were taken as slaves to England in the sixteenth century."

History class. And yes, she was a blonde.

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Someone on the LOTRO forums (there are 11 servers with exactly the same world, but the characters are spread about them to prevent overloading):
"Having not played on any other server, I find Landroval to be better than all the others."

"Communism needs democracy like the human body needs oxygen."
–Leon Trotsky

More sad than anything..

On the other end of the spectrum, a classic:
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." - Ronald Reagan

From the Desk of Dan Quayle:

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

"I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Public speaking is very easy."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

Jesus Christ people, he says it clearly in the opening post that the quotes have to come from people you actually know (not "know of")!

There are some great ones, even the ones that do not belong here, tho ;)

Who's to say I never knew him in person? :mischief:

Someone I do know once referred to the Normandy Landing as "Operation Overload".

That's what it's called. Everyone would refer to it as that.

No it's not. It was "Operation Overlord"

Oops, misread that. :blush:

...Do I know you? :joke:

Me? Don't think so.

This thread has confirmed my assumption that only 3.5% of posters actually ever read the OP :p.

Sooner or later, somebody'd do it.

I once had an argument with someone and stated, "You are ignorant!"
To which she responded, "Thank-you! I hope that's a good thing."

..............................

Well, protests DON'T have a pope! :p

History Class last year. The teacher is lecturing on Southeast Asia, something we've been doing for a couple weeks. She makes a statement about "the kingdom of Champa", and suddenly a girl in my class wakes up and asks "Wait, so Champa is a place?"

Well, protests DON'T have a pope!

Some do. Those are the cool protests.

I'm talking about protests like with picket signs.

I know. And the protests with a pope in them are that much cooler than non-pope protests.

"I can't remember if it was 50% off or half price." -A person I knew in school

My friend was playing when:

He was hit by a ball.

After 30 SECONDS.....

"OUCH! YOU BULLY!"

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."- Lily Tomlin

Those of you who know cricket will get this.

I was playing backyard cricket with some mates at school and this one that isn't all that interested in cricket was bowling and he said, "How am I supposed to hit the stumps when you're standing in the way?"

This actually happened to me when I was about 12, growing up in Canada
about 70 miles from the U.S. border.

Big car pulls up, full of tourists, U.S. plates, snow skis on the roof rack.
Driver leans out of the window and says to me.
"Say, kid, what happened to all your snow?"
It was August.:lol:

BTW Gave him directions to Quebec. He gave me five dollars.:crazyeye:

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."- Lily Tomlin
I don't think that's a dumb quote. I think it's a good quote. Therefore:




QFT

"Dispensin' an erector" -TF2 voice chat

OK, I didn'tknow him persoanlly, but I once heard a self-proclaimed "foreign affairs expert" refer to the people of Pakistan as "Pakistinians." :rolleyes:

If you're wondering, the correct term is "Pakistani."

Biology class, 18 year old girl:

"So, the pill does protect from AIDS right?"

What pill were you talking about anyway?

"Dispensin' an erector" -TF2 voice chat

"Erector, goin' up!"

What pill were you talking about anyway?

oh sorry, the birth control pill. In German it's simply referred to as 'the pill', thought that applied in English aswell..

oh sorry, the birth control pill. In German it's simply referred to as 'the pill', thought that applied in English aswell..

It does. ggganz was either trying to be funny or is an extremely devout Catholic.:bowdown: :jesus:

Or 13.

Or 13.

1. How'd you just get past the 10chars limit?

2. You joined two years ago, indicating you lied about your age to join! Blasphemy! Gahhhhhhhhhhhh...

1. I put lots of spaces between Or and 13.

2. I never saw anything. And yes, I did read the Terms of Service thingy above the checkmark.
EDIT: I just read the forum rules, nothing there. I just logged out and clicked register again, nothing there. Please point to where you ever saw any age requirements at all.

My sister said this:

"It's not lost, I just can't find it."

:dubious:

This is someone I don't know, but it's funny.

"This is the same guy who we went with to see the Lincoln Memorial and he said 'I didn't know he was that BIG!"

-Bill Engvall (refering to Larry the Cable Guy)
:D

A friend of mine thought not long ago that U.S's capital city is New York!

Well, a lot of people assume that it is the state capital. Or at least the only inhabited part of the state.

"Press any key to continue...Hm, where's the Any key?"
-Classic quote by Homer Simpson

"Me know nothing. I'm from Barcelona."
-Manuél in Fawlty Towers

Okay, I was trying to show a story of mine to a friend online. It goes like this.

Me: (before I send the story) Want to see my story?
Friend: It's boring...
Me: You haven't read it.
Friend: It's boring!! The plot is boring!!
Me: What happens in the story?
Friend: I dunno, you haven't sent it!
Me: How can you say its boring then?
Friend: It's boring!!

go figure...

A friend of mine thought not long ago that U.S's capital city is New York!

It used to be...

"Where the he11 is Germany?" - someone in my class looking at a map of Western Europe.

"Where's Hong Kong?" - someone in my 2nd grade class when looking at a US map.

germany IS in western europe...

Right. And yet he couldn't find it.

Boy oh boy, I've got some good ones...

"Did we bomb the Japanese or did they bomb themselves?" -Girl in history class

"Why didn't they just listen to their iPods?" -My best friend on hardships faced by the pioneers. (He was being a smartass)

"The Little Rock Nine... I think there were twelve of them." -Ben "Tokyo Drift" Chan. That scrub! :lol:

"I think they should have had career building workshops." -Julia from history class on blacks in the Reconstruction South.

"Why do I see two rectangles?" -My chemistry teacher, trying to take a picture with a digital camera. This one's not dumb, but it was really funny when it happened.

"He was a mad famous lawyer." -My best friend again. This one he accidentally left in a paper he wrote about the Scopes Monkey Trial. He said he meant to replace it with something else but forgot before it was too late.

Maybe I'll think of more later. It was an eventful year in history class. :D

"Dispensin' an erector" -TF2 voice chat

People say that ALL the time. I think it's funny. Most do it on purpose, though.

"A zebra can't change it's spots" Good ol Dan Quayle

"A zebra can't change it's spots" Good ol Dan Quayle

He's not wrong, really. I defy you to name one time a zebra ever changed its spots.

I have heard "a leopard can't change its stripes" attributed to Al Gore, which I find about as likely as the zebra one. That is, not very.

Hahahahaha..........why are our VPs so bad at quoting things?

From a guy in my engineering class:

"I carried 600 pounds, all by myself with three other people!"

"That plane dove into a steep climb"

"Once I volunteered as a signer for the blind."

He's not wrong, really. I defy you to name one time a zebra ever changed its spots.

Haha you do a point.

here are some more Dan bloopers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Im1Ct3lf00)

and here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c00_QkXUd8&feature=related)

My natural sciences teacher of high school, who always confuses the words chicken and kitchen, tried once to give us the class in English. During that class, we were dissectiong a dead chicken. During that dissction he said:

"Let's open up the chest of this kitchen."
"This kitchen had long tendons."
(While moving a tendon of the chicken and pretending that the dead chicken was doing us the "fukc you" gesture) "This kitchen was a bad mothafukca!"
"You see? All this blood and guts let us know that this is a real kitchen. This is not the sort of kitchens that you can buy at Kentucky Fried Kitchen."
"Have you ever seen a kitchen flying? I've never seen a kitchen flying."
"Did you see the movie "Kitchen run"? Well, this kitchen, as you can see, wasn't in there."

And many, many other dumb quotations. As far as I'm concerned, this was his last try to give a class in English. Since then, he only gives his classes in Catalan.

PS: BTW, a the end of the class somebody had the balls to tell him what do the words kitchen and chicken mean.

"I believe that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."-The Governator

"Communism needs democracy like the human body needs oxygen."
–Leon Trotsky

He said socialism. And he's correct.

some Mike Tyson quotes:

“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

(on Lennox Lewis) "My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"I really dig Hannibal. Hannibal had real guts. He rode elephants into Cartilage."

"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."

My friend said this while he was kicking me out of his house:

"I'm not kicking you out of my house; I'm just telling you to leave!"

:lol:

Where he’s wrong is that we went into Iraq at the invitation of the government, not as an invasion.
We’re in Iraq as the result of a democracy asking for us to come in there. It’s not an invasion.
Dic_ Morris - Fox News Aug 22nd, 2008

WTF is wrong with Republicans these days ????

"I thought Stalin was American"
"Wheres England?"

"If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?"
-Pinky from Pinky and the Brain

"I can't win nor can I lose."
-My sister

"If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?"
-Pinky from Pinky and the Brain

Better question: why is there a song about him?

"Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep" - Sputnik II

"Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep" - Sputnik II

I thought Sputnik II said "Woof... Woof... cough, hack, choke"

I thought Sputnik II said "Woof... Woof... cough, hack, choke"

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

I thought Sputnik II said "Woof... Woof... cough, hack, choke"

That story really eats at me for some reason.....and it was overheating I believe, not suffocation.

If was 2 hours before the Midyear History exams

"Quick I need you to tell me who Stalin is!" - Her
"We are having an exam soon and you dont know who he is?!!??" - Me
"I know he is a Nazi... Whats that by the way?" - Her

These were all said by a kid in my school last year in World History class

"What Babylonian king is famous for his code of laws?" teacher
"Moses, 40 years after Jesus built the Ark." Jack

Someone mentioned Alaska
"Oh, my grandfather had his first kiss in Alaska!" Jack
"Was it with your Grandmother?" girl that had brought up Alaska
"No, it was with some other hot girl."

During Cross Country today, someone mentioned Hurricane Gustav that hit New Orleans yesterday
"I wish the hurricane would hit here so we wouldn't have to have practice today." Jack

I know their were more, I'll have to ask my teacher if she remembers any.

My favorite Dan Quayle qoute, just see my sig.

On that Dan Quale quote, I think he actually said: "It's a terrible thing to lose one's mind." Could be wrong though.

I don't remember if I posted this one already:

Teacher: "Pioneers moving West faced many hardships"
Madcow Steers: "Why didn't they just listen to their iPods?"

(He was being a smartass)

I thought he was endorsing a foundation that gave scholarships to poor people, with a slogan of, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." Of cource Dan got it slightly wrong.

That guy was so dumb he probably messed it up twice. ;)

During Cross Country today, someone mentioned Hurricane Gustav that hit New Orleans yesterday
"I wish the hurricane would hit here so we wouldn't have to have practice today." Jack


That's not dumb. I wish for bad weather to happen every day. I also wish I could break my leg, skip, or quit daily.

I'm only half joking when I say them too.

What workout did your coach have for you today? Was it repeats or progression or something else? I hate repeats and progression runs. Those are the times I wish for bad things to happen the most.

That's not dumb. I wish for bad weather to happen every day. I also wish I could break my leg, skip, or quit daily.

I'm only half joking when I say them too.

Well that kind of bad weather could result in a little bit more than canceled track practice.

Maybe it would bring two canceled cross country practices! That would be like heaven. And probably about the extent of what my coach would give us off for a hurricane.

He was serious. He got an ASD(after school detention) for clogging the toilets(you don't want the details), so the coach made us run sprints.
Jack's problem is that he doesn't think about what he says before he says it.

More off topic/
last year he got in alot of trouble for "going" on the flowers in the autistic kids' garden during the end-season-party. He was caught on camera, and a girls walked outside and saw him.:rolleyes:

Good God, I hope I never have to meet this guy :cringe:

"Wait, after the French Revolution they had the...Third??? Republic?" :cringe:

I am not kidding. This is absolutely true.

"The US should go to Afganistan and Find Obama Bin Laden"

I choked on my saliva when my friend said that

Because leftys, while crying about tolerance, are the most intolerant people on the planet.

Is someone forgetting Aleqeda ? KKK ? Neonazis ? etc etc

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showpost.php?p=7209798&postcount=90

“I think that the surge has succeeded in ways that nobody anticipated,” Obama said while refusing to retract his initial opposition to the surge. “I’ve already said it’s succeeded beyond our wildest dreams.”

Ergo: I was against the surge before I was for it.

Errrrrr. How one can actually make this statement and justify it is beyond me.



“If our commanders on the ground say we need more troops, I will send them. But our commanders tell me they have the number of troops they need to do their job. Sending more Americans would undermine our strategy of encouraging Iraqis to take the lead in this fight. And sending more Americans would suggest that we intend to stay forever.” June 28, 2005

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showpost.php?p=7215853&postcount=55

:P .

A guy I know, bragging about how he's so smart: "I have an IQ of 4.0!"

:lol:

Heard on an episode of Forensic Files: "There were tire tracks near the dump site, so the murderer probably drove to the scene."

No Dip, Sherlock! :gripe:

"They should make suicide bombing illegal!' Me, when half listening to the news while playing Civ.

"They should make suicide bombing illegal!' Me, when half listening to the news while playing Civ.

last week i read "They should make war illegal" on a work of a student of my school about the Mundial Peace Day...

:suicide:

In high school, a history class classmate thought the capital of Indiana was called "Downtown." Also (same girl) was suprised to find that Washington D.C. was near the East Coast. "I thought it was over in the middle somewhere, like in Kansas or something."

Mr. Raymond, who taught chemistry in my Junior year, was in rare form many times. More than once he asked a student, "Did your parents ever have any children that lived?" Another time, when a student complained that her low grade on a test wasn't fair, he replied quickly, "Fair is a word dreamed up by elementary school teachers to keep the little kids from getting hurt on the playground."

Of course, this same chemistry teacher refused to teach the class the formula for black powder because his high school teacher had made the mistake. He and his buddy made some and put it to the test... An old school bus that had been used as a concession stand during football games. His punishment? He and his buddy had to repaint the entire bus garage at their school.

"Dispensin' an erector" -TF2 voice chat

Silly, you got it backwards :crazyeye:

"What the hell is a caribou?"
"It's like a moose with antlers."

Some random people I overheard.

someone in my history class
"Did Martin Luther become president before or after he posted his 95 theses?"

someone else in my history class
"I'm so glad Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves from Britain."

Best Friend
"I'm not a failure, I'm just awesome at failing"

Me in response to my friend
"That's weird, I always seem to fail at failing, can you give some pointers?"

A guy I know, bragging about how he's so smart: "I have an IQ of 4.0!"

:lol:

Sounds like somebody with a room temperature IQ. By the way, doesn't most of the world use Celsius to measure room temperature?

If by "most" you're counting the whole world's population, maybe, but "most" meaning people on the internet, I wouldn't count on it.

How old are these people who don't know thing 1 about history? I'd expect statements like that from 1st graders, not people who think they should be running their own lives.

Sounds like somebody with a room temperature IQ. By the way, doesn't most of the world use Celsius to measure room temperature?

Yes, the vast majority. The United States is the only major country that still uses Fahrenheit. Even the Germans, who invented the Fahrenheit scale, have switched to Celsius. The United Kingdom and it's former colonies are also the only countries that still use the Imperial system - everyone else has switched to Metric.

"I'm not all here but I'm not all not."

My friend's brother when he was drunk like a skunk. I'm considering making that a catchphrase for something.

In a class discussion a couple of years ago,
Teacher"Finish this sentence, you have one horse in the stable at the end of the day you have"
My friend"two bottles of glue"
dead silence, then hysterical laughter

UK has switched to metric for everything apart from pints for drinks, gallons for fuel and miles for long distances. metres, litres and kilos are in everyday use.

"What are your computer specs?"

"Ummm... I guess a playable computer?"

"What the hell is a playable computer??"

"I don't know! I think its a computer you can play games on. I'm only 5 years old. Does anyone know what that oval thingy on the front of my computer is? I can't read."

"You're shitting me right?"

"*massive whining in the background*"

"*me is textbox* This is why I support abortion."

-TF2 voice chat.

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
- Ivanna Trump

"I don't know! I think its a computer you can play games on. I'm only 5 years old. Does anyone know what that oval thingy on the front of my computer is? I can't read."
.

He can't read? :lol:

How can he type without being able to read? Come to think of it, how can he read what is typed back to him?

He was using his mic...

Sadly...

The United Kingdom and it's former colonies are also the only countries that still use the Imperial system
Australia changed to metric when the US changed to unleaded petrol.

"That's like me going down to Vietnam without a gun and facing all the Koreans"

My friend attempting an analogy.

UK has switched to metric for everything apart from pints for drinks, gallons for fuel and miles for long distances. metres, litres and kilos are in everyday use.

Not everything is on metric. Altitudes in aviation are in feet. Dephs (at sea) are also usually measured in feet.

This Imperial system is... abomination! Why does anyone still use it? Also, altitudes and depths are often expressed in meters, not feet.

Altitudes in aviation are in feet. Dephs (at sea) are also usually measured in feet.
That's true. This was a old form of internationalisation like doctors speaking latin. Aviation took on the terms from navigation. It it specialised and somewhat shielded from civilian use so it's unlikely to change in too much of a hurry, and news reports and documentaries often convert to metres anyway.

My Coach: "You guys don't know how to use your brain cells good."

Kid on my Team: "We don't know how to use our brain cells well"

My Coach: :blush:

"Ohmygodwhatthef#@$howdidyouknowIwasthereBullsh#toh mygoddamnyougoddammitwallhackingcrapa$$holef*ckyou dammit" -A total n00b. Sounds like 8 year old.

"Or it could just be you suck." -Three people simotaniously.

"Screw you a$$holes" - n00b.

*I kill him with a backstab*

"WHATTHEF*CKGODDAMMITYOUARESOHACKINGYOUFRIKKIN..." - n00b

"Shut up noob" -Me typing

"SHUT UP. YO' MAMA, YOU HACKING PIECE OF SH*T. I BET YOU'RE A PUBLIC SERVICE GUY." - n00b

"You're mom is a public service. Now shut up." -Me

"F*CK YOU." -n00b

*Vote kick starts, n00b is defeated 25 to 1*

"SCREW YOU ALL HACKERS" -n00b

"Warning: Please hit puberty before projecting your vocal cords into Valve's microphone system. Thank you." -Admin

*Kicked*

- Incident in TF2

"He sounded like a Communist. He said everybody should be equal."

"Ohmygodwhatthef#@$howdidyouknowIwasthereBullsh#toh mygoddamnyougoddammitwallhackingcrapa$$holef*ckyou dammit" -A total n00b. Sounds like 8 year old.

"Or it could just be you suck." -Three people simotaniously.

"Screw you a$$holes" - n00b.

*I kill him with a backstab*

"WHATTHEF*CKGODDAMMITYOUARESOHACKINGYOUFRIKKIN..." - n00b

"Shut up noob" -Me typing

"SHUT UP. YO' MAMA, YOU HACKING PIECE OF SH*T. I BET YOU'RE A PUBLIC SERVICE GUY." - n00b

"You're mom is a public service. Now shut up." -Me

"F*CK YOU." -n00b

*Vote kick starts, n00b is defeated 25 to 1*

"SCREW YOU ALL HACKERS" -n00b

"Warning: Please hit puberty before projecting your vocal cords into Valve's microphone system. Thank you." -Admin

*Kicked*

- Incident in TF2

spies do that to poeple :smoke:


a fun TF2 moment, it's CTF_well, and i'm playing as a hevy only punching poeple with my KGB gloves.


me:"GET BEHIND ME DOCTOR"

random medic: wait, what, wat u gonna do?

me: MY FISTS NEVER RUN OUT OF AMMO

random medic: oh lol, ok (overheals me)

Me charges in base, chasing a pyro who is about to jump in the water via the pipe

ME: RUN LITTLE MEN

Random medic follows

enemy pyro turns around, tries to shotgun me, I crit-punch him

ME: I AM A GIANT SHARK

random medic stands on opening valve of pipe, running away from scout, I jump out of opening valve, punch scout, sees medic falling in pipe.


then, I get stickied by a demo.

I immiatedtly respawn,

suddenly, random medic: OPEN THE VALVE

ME: I AM REBORN

random medic, OPEN THE F****** VALVE, IM DROWNING

ME: SWIM TO FREEDOM

RANDOM MEDIC: DAMNIT, HELP ME!

ME: DOCTOR, IS NOT POSSIBLE!

(skulls and bones sign: random medic has died)



:lol:

^^ Winsauce

Okay, this is what happened in a game of Counter Strike where there was this 6-year old in the game. Not so much a dumb quote, but it is pretty funny.

Six-year old: I gotta fix something, brb.

Guerrila: Ok, see ya.

(Six-year old leaves)

Guerrila: What kind of parent gives their kid a microphone and Counter Strike for their birthday?

SAS: The good kind!

:D

I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years

Girls are like paladins, they get mounts for free :(

I cry during sex.... f---ing Mace

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.

coffee just isn't my cup of tea

Rehab is for quitters

Being dyslexic has drawbacks.I once went to a toga party dressed as a goat

Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

That is not dumb, that is pure genius!:goodjob:

This isn't really dumb as much as it is pwnage
Salesman: Hello is mister (my last name) there
Me: no, but he can call you back at about 5 or 6 tonight
Salesman: But I'll be at home then, I don't want people calling me about sales offers
Me: Now you know how we feel
Hang Up :lol: owned

A discussion between two friends, about buying a new school uniform:

Friend: Have you got your uniform yet?
: Yes, I went and collected it earlier.
Friend: I haven't got mine.
: Why?
Friend: I just cba.
: Well can't they deliever it or e-mail it to you?
Friend: :dubious: Sorry, but that's been screen-shotted.

Yes... he thought the clothes could be e-mailed. :confused:

Seen on a game show...

Host: Of the four figures on Mount Rushmore, how many are ex-presidents?

Contestant: Three

Me: :rotfl:

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours."
"If your parents never had children chances are you won't either."
"We don't necessarily discriminate, we just exclude certain types of people."
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

"All they have to do to win, is keep the other team from scoring, and score some points themselves."
"Bananas were a good idea."
"I like the corn I do like, but don't like the types that I don't like!"

"We take these things very seriously, speling, etc."
- Shelley the Republican

Guy in Year 5, while we were doing our work, out of absolutely nowhere;
"Mr Katen, what's a prostitute?"

Girl the same year;
"Is Bermagui (a small fishing town on Australia's East coast) a continent?"

Hot blonde I spent three years on, then got just once;
"Why do I need to learn English. I'm never going to England."
Yes, she seriously meant that.

Guy in my Year 8 History class;
"Miss, I can't find my virginity. I think Sarah took it."

My last girlfriend, in a shoe store, to a clerk;
"Excuse me, what come after 11?"

This isn't really dumb as much as it is pwnage
Salesman: Hello is mister (my last name) there
Me: no, but he can call you back at about 5 or 6 tonight
Salesman: But I'll be at home then, I don't want people calling me about sales offers
Me: Now you know how we feel
Hang Up :lol: owned
You took that from Seinfeld.

90% of problems solve themselves - me.

apply it to life folks, you won't regret it.

90% of problems solve themselves - me.

apply it to life folks, you won't regret it.
That's up there with: "I'll just hide under a pile of coats and hope that somehow everything works out."

You took that from Seinfeld.
Huh? I've watch Seinfeld, but I didn't see that one. That's weird :wow:

"V FOR VAGINA" -Random Ventrilo Guy

"Let's have roleplay cybering"
"Okay, sure"
"Alright, I'll be your mom and you be every guy in town."

Huh? I've watch Seinfeld, but I didn't see that one. That's weird :wow:
Press CTRL+F and type "Now you know how I feel".
For those of you too lazy, this is what it says:
JERRY: Uh, sorry, Excuse me one second. Hello.

TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.

JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.

TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.

JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.

TEL: No.

JERRY: Well now you know how I feel. [Hangs up]

"All they have to do to win, is keep the other team from scoring, and score some points themselves."

Lol, this sounds like a John Madden quote.
“Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.”-John Madden
Lol.

madden:

“The only yardstick for success our society has is being a champion. No one remembers anything else.”

“The road to Easy Street goes through the sewer.”

“When your arm gets hit, the ball is not going to go where you want it to.”

“Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”

Most of our imports are coming outside of our country.-George Bush

Prior to the age of 13, I didn't know for what we have boobs.-a girl I knew

Dudes, you won't believe me, but I totally forgot what I've done in the toilet just 5 minutes ago!-me, drunk like a skunk

Lol, this sounds like a John Madden quote.
“Here’s a guy who when he runs, he moves faster.”-John Madden
Lol.
Speaking of Madden-esque sporting quotes.

"The bottom line is unless they score more points than the other team, they can't win." - Derek Thackery.

Except for like, five other people, John Madden is my hero.

Except for like, five other people, John Madden is my hero.
Who are the five?

A great one from wrestling:
"This handicap match is becoming a two-on-one affair." (underlining mine) - Michael Cole, causing even my grandmother to burst out with a "WHAT THE ----?"

One news anchor said this back in the 2008 election:

"All the Republicans have to do this election, is to win all the states they won last election."

heinz prüller, austria formula 1 commentator, famous for telling stories about damon hill's brother in law's new puppy and such while not getting anything that happens on the race track :

"the turn is very angular."

Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
This is okay I hope...

Unless it isn't going from the Escape key to the Enter key, it is considered a normal-sized penis (I very much hope so...)

@CCRunner: :lol: They're right next to eachother on the QWERTY keyboard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwql6_RJ348&feature=related

@CCRunner: :lol: They're right next to eachother on the QWERTY keyboard.
Indeed :D That's why it's in the "Dumb Quotes" Thread ;)

"Archduke who?"

Said by a fellow in my university-level American History II class during a lecture on the Great War. After a semester of upper-level classes, it was jarring to return to a class where non-history people were present.

"A bloke called archie duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry"
"I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austria-Hungary got shot"
"Na, there was definitely an ostrich involved"

"A bloke called archie duke shot an ostrich because he was hungry"
"I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austria-Hungary got shot"
"Na, there was definitely an ostrich involved"
That has to be a legitimate attempt at comedy. No-one could possibly be that stupid without trying.

Girl at my school, in geography class: "Is Bermagui a continent?"

Bermagui is a small fishing village on the East coast of Australia.

"where did those chinese people come from?"
"China"

Did this guy have any relation to Charles DeGaulle?

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese..." -Charles De Gaulle

:bump:

Read in a magazine...

"Seawater is salty because it contains large amounts of sodium chloride."

Well, NO DUH!

Ferdinand Foch, marshal of France in WWI, and master of the 'old officer who never listens to the staff' style of thinking:

Hard pressed on my left, centre pinned down, impossible to manoeve:; situation excellent. I shall attack.

Aeroplanes are intersting toys, but of no military value

Assorted sportsmen:

Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose
[In a football match] You're out there on your own with ten mates
Argentina are the second best team in the world and there's no higher praise than that

"I'm not giving money to my dad! He steals my money and puts in the bank!!!"
"I'm going to be a basketball player. I'll hit a homerun and everyone will be cheering on the touchdown line!"

"Can I eat some nuts? I'm kind of horny- I mean hungry" - My friend's classmate

I was doing a hypothetical trip to Amsterdam when my classmate said this:

"It only costs $x to go to Germany?"

"Can I eat some nuts? I'm kind of horny- I mean hungry" - My friend's classmate
Please tell me she was a hot girl?

"Oh, you sneaky bastards. **** sorry, you'd better edit that out."
Bill Lawry, live broadcast of This is your Life.

"Hey guys I don't think I'm a U.S. citizen because I was born in Ohio"

She was absolutely serious

"Hey guys I don't think I'm a U.S. citizen because I was born in Ohio"

She was absolutely serious
The amount of falseness in this qoute just makes me shutter!

"Hey guys I don't think I'm a U.S. citizen because I was born in Ohio"

She was absolutely serious
Was she running for President?

"It says marquee on the wrestling." - Arn Anderson, causing Ric Flair to lose it in the background for the rest of the segment.

No seriously, she was in 5th grade and we were talking about citizenship in the nation when she asked that question, and of course after that she became trailer trash, got pregnant at 16 and got married at 16.

No seriously, she was in 5th grade and we were talking about citizenship in the nation when she asked that question, and of course after that she became trailer trash, got pregnant at 16 and got married at 16.
Now it awwwllll makes sense...:smoke:

SPEAKING of Ohio, when my lacrosse team was traveling to Cincinnati for a tournament, a teammate of mine, clearly concerned, comes up to my coach and tells him "Mr. Santulli, I don't think I'll be able to go to the tournament because I don't have a passport" I nearly bust a gut laughing.

SPEAKING of Ohio, when my lacrosse team was traveling to Cincinnati for a tournament, a teammate of mine, clearly concerned, comes up to my coach and tells him "Mr. Santulli, I don't think I'll be able to go to the tournament because I don't have a passport" I nearly bust a gut laughing.
I've had plenty of people ask if they can use US dollars in Alaska and Hawaii. What's funniest about that is that they're asking me, the guy that's never once left Australia in his life.

someone in my year said that Rome was in Russia...

dumb girl giving presentation in History
Indira Gandhi was born in India which is right here *points to Argentina*
oops, I mean here *points at another spot on the map*
me to a friend sitting next to me: that's Madagascar, dumbass...:mad:

people who don't know where countries like India are should learn to look at a world map for once.:mad:

dumb girl giving presentation in History
Indira Gandhi was born in India which is right here *points to Argentina*
oops, I mean here *points at another spot on the map*
me to a friend sitting next to me: that's Madagascar, dumbass...:mad:

people who don't know where countries like India are should learn to look at a world map for once.:mad:
Well, in her defence it's easy to miss, all tucked away down there.

"Turkey is in the Middle East."
"No,it's here."(points to central Europe)

"Turkey is in the Middle East."
"No,it's here."(points to central Europe)

Well, Turkey isn't far from the Middle East...:mischief:

I have a worthy contribution to dumb quote-kind!

My sister:"Dinosaur's are not animals,they are reptiles!"

She was absolutely serious.

She was partially right at least...They WERE reptiles.

She was partially right at least...They WERE reptiles.
Actually, the prevalent view right now is that many were a kind of animal that no longer exists, as they were warm-blooded, whereas reptiles are not. Some were obviously cold-blooded, like the Stegosaurus, but others would almost have to be warm-blooded, or they couldn't have survived.

Also, today at uni: "Where's Uzbekistan, anyway?"

Doesn't seem so bad, until you consider the fact that we've been doing a project on this country for the past 6 weeks, and there's a map included.

"Where's Africa?"

Today in Geography.

In geography, we were studying Brazil, and the teacher told us to research Rochina (Actually, it is Rocinha) in Rio de Janiero. Someone asked if it was in China...

Geography related... I've heard that Belarus is in Russia so many times that it's just not funny any more, so I won't say it. So here's one from today:

"Isn't European Turkey also in Asia?"

(also = like the other parts of Turkey, which were mentioned before. Sorry, it's kinda hard to translate the exact tone of the sentence)

"Where's Africa?"

Today in Geography.

You have geography with Sarah Palin!!! :eek: ... ... ... :lol:

It's near Russia and Alaska, duh!

If it's near Russia and Alsaka, it must the Bering strait...

Or the North Pole.

I take it we have no Now Show listeners here?

Its the very last round of a ten player elimination hockey draft, and this one dufus who always seems out of it and can't keep track of whose been picked, asks on his last pick: "Ok - now I'm almost ready - but I just have one question, is Alexander Ovechkin still open ?"

"So do samurais kill people and stuff"- random girl in my class after 1 hour disscusion on samurais

Me and my friends making fun of the panic over swine flu on the MTA subway.

"Oh, don't worry, the doctors said I didn't have pig flu, only SARS!!!"

The same girl asked the teacher " Why do the bathroom stalls always smell like sh*t?"

The same girl asked the teacher " Why do the bathroom stalls always smell like sh*t?"

Sounds like you like this chick. Is she easy ?

Sounds like you like this chick. Is she easy ?
She's certainly stupid, and stupid girls usually are.

Toilet-related, from a girl I knew in high school:

"Why do men's bathrooms always have those little blue things in the trough?"

Naturally this prompted; "How exactly do you know so much about men's bathrooms, Sarah?"

"Oh, I give head in them."

Guess whose mother and father were standing behind her?

She's certainly stupid, and stupid girls usually are.

Toilet-related, from a girl I knew in high school:

"Why do men's bathrooms always have those little blue things in the trough?"

Naturally this prompted; "How exactly do you know so much about men's bathrooms, Sarah?"

"Oh, I give head in them."

Guess whose mother and father were standing behind her?

wow...

You would think a girl old enough to give head in the bathrooms would know what those things are, but the reaction from her parents must have been priceless.

wow...

You would think a girl old enough to give head in the bathrooms would know what those things are, but the reaction from her parents must have been priceless.
You have no idea how much I laughed at that. Besides, you don't need to be that old to give head in the bathroom.

Her father actually had a mild heart attact right then and there. No joke. The mother's face just dropped. I don't mean her jaw dropped, her face did, like she'd aged about fifteen years in a second. Priceless alright.

Just to clear something...
Was she blond?!

Just to clear something...
Was she blond?!
Yep. Not that good-looking though. Alright body, but her face was not good.

Her father actually had a mild heart attact right then and there. No joke. The mother's face just dropped. I don't mean her jaw dropped, her face did, like she'd aged about fifteen years in a second. Priceless alright.

:lol: Well I just got another minor over this one - hope it was worth it for you too.

:lol: Well I just got another minor over this one - hope it was worth it for you too.
Oh, it was worth it. I always hated her, and being part of the most humiliating moment of her life would have been enough to make it good for me, but for it to be that entertaining made it one of the greatest moments of my teenage years. Haven't thought about it in years, but I couldn't see her without laughing for months. May be cruel, but goddamn, it was just so aweome.

:lol: Man I feel stupid. What the hell does "trough" mean??

:lol: Man I feel stupid. What the hell does "trough" mean??
The long thing in a public urinal that you piss in. Also what pigs eat out of. Not that they eat out of the same trough of course. That would just be wrong.

You know that chick I mentioned earlier who didn't know where Uzbekistan was? She's still saying it's in South-East Asia on the uni website. I just checked about five minutes ago.

"You just like Huayna Capac because he attacked Mexicans!"

:hmm:

The long thing in a public urinal that you piss in. Also what pigs eat out of. Not that they eat out of the same trough of course. That would just be wrong.

:rotfl: I see now!

"They have GUNS! Oh my God they have real GUNS!!"

This being a kid signed up for RIFLE SHOOTING merit badge at a Scout Camp, hearing the rifles fire every day up to that point, and hearing the rifles and shotguns fire as he was walking down the hill to get to the rifle range....

I was eating some candy in a sandwhich baggie (cuz thatz how i rollz), and someone asked me for some. I gave him some, he inspected them and said, 100% sincerely:

"Where did you get M&Ms with S's on them!"

"Hey guys I don't think I'm a U.S. citizen because I was born in Ohio"

She was absolutely serious

Poor Ohio, people always forget it's in the US. I don't exactly remember the conversation, but someone said they were going to Clevland this Summer. One girl was seriously impressed about that (its maybe a 4 hour drive). Turned out she thought it was in some foreign country. First she thought it was in Columbia but changed her mind to Ireland.:mischief:

Poor Ohio, people always forget it's in the US. I don't exactly remember the conversation, but someone said they were going to Clevland this Summer. One girl was seriously impressed about that (its maybe a 4 hour drive). Turned out she thought it was in some foreign country. First she thought it was in Columbia but changed her mind to Ireland.:mischief:

But it's logical. Cleveland must be a nation of its own because it ends on -land. Like England, Portland or Disneyland! :lol:

"They have GUNS! Oh my God they have real GUNS!!"

This being a kid signed up for RIFLE SHOOTING merit badge at a Scout Camp, hearing the rifles fire every day up to that point, and hearing the rifles and shotguns fire as he was walking down the hill to get to the rifle range....

Even better - before they were deployed to Ireland, new recruits to the British Army were trained on bolt-action rifles, and so one of them said, seriously:

"Why can't I get so many shots out, sir? I swear I put in a full one..."

To which the reply came:

"You only pull the handle once"

Teacher: "This author is portraying how men think women are only good for sex!"
Student: "Nobody thinks that-- they're good for cooking and cleaning too!"

Our school's been implementing a lot of new policies because of the swine flu panic. I happened to be working in the front office when she was explaining them to the staff.

Principal".... and we're putting anti-bacterial hand wash in every room of the building, and we want you to encourage students to use it frequently."
*I raise my hand*
Principal: "Um.... Yes?"
Me: "Isn't the swine flu a virus?"

She just kinda gave me an odd look then hurried away.:D

Our school's been implementing a lot of new policies because of the swine flu panic. I happened to be working in the front office when she was explaining them to the staff.

Principal".... and we're putting anti-bacterial hand wash in every room of the building, and we want you to encourage students to use it frequently."
*I raise my hand*
Principal: "Um.... Yes?"
Me: "Isn't the swine flu a virus?"

She just kinda gave me an odd look then hurried away.:D
Never let logic get in the way of a good scare. Be sure to wear your surgical masks everywhere.

@CCRunner: I don't see what's dumb about that. It's true. :dunno:

Heard today:

"Why is my neck sore?"

This from an idiot carrying a WOODEN CHAIR by pushing his head between the seat and backrest!

Someone at school-"Ugh, you mean we actually have to do work?"
Me (sarcastically)-"Ugh, I know, it's like we're at school or something."

Plenty here (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Incorrect_predictions).

Here's one:

"Such startling announcements as these should be deprecated as being unworthy of science and mischievious to its true progress."

-William Siemens, on Edison's light bulb, 1880.

Plenty here (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Incorrect_predictions).


"You would make a ship sail against the wind and currents by lighting a bon-fire under her deck? I have no time to listen to such nonsense."


If you don't know that one....

http://www.funnyforumpics.com/forums/GTFO/3/gtfo15ht0.jpg

Plenty here (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Incorrect_predictions).
"Democracy will be dead by 1950." -John Langdon-Davies, A Short History of The Future, 1936.

What was he even thinking with that one??

Double post.

"Democracy will be dead by 1950." -John Langdon-Davies, A Short History of The Future, 1936.

What was he even thinking with that one??
Wishful thinking. And mechaerik's was Napoleon. Pretty big mistake on Nap's part.

That is the biggest fool thing we have ever done [research on]... The bomb will never go off, and I speak as an expert in explosives.

In '44, from a Manhattan Project scientist - oh the irony...

Some people are SO wrong about computers:

* I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year.
o The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.

* [By 1985], machines [computers] will be capable of doing any work Man can do.
o Herbert A. Simon, of Carnegie Mellon University, one of the founders of the field of artificial intelligence – speaking in 1965.

* But what... is it good for?
o IBM executive Robert Lloyd, speaking in 1968 about the microprocessor, the brain of today’s computers.

* There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
o Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC), maker of big business minicomputers, arguing against the PC in 1977.

"This is, indeed, a great wall."
-Richard Nixon, observing the Great Wall of China

"The history of saints is mainly the history of insane people."
-Benito Mussolini

Ahh Prince Phillip

You managed not to get eaten then?
Said to a British student in Papua New Guinea

Do you still throw spears at each other?
Said in 2002 to a Indigenous Australian businessman

You are a woman, aren't you?
After accepting a gift from a Kenyan citizen;

Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.
On a visit to the new National Assembly for Wales in Cardiff, said to a group of deaf children standing next to a Jamaican steel drum band

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

[That fuse box] it looks like it was made by an Indian*
Whilst on a tour of a factory in Edinburgh, Scotland

You can't have been here that long — you haven't got a pot belly.
Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?
Said to a driving instructor in Scotland

Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." (in 1992 in Australia, when asked to stroke a Koala bear)

"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (in 1994, to an islander in the Cayman Islands)

He is pretty much the least sensitive person ever.

I'll add one:

"You'd better leave soon or you'll all get squinty-eyed" (Prince Philip to a bunch of British students in Beijing)

"Iraq is a country!?!? That makes SOO much more sense!"

"I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol"

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"

He is pretty much the least sensitive person ever.

I'll add one:

"You'd better leave soon or you'll all get squinty-eyed" (Prince Philip to a bunch of British students in Beijing)
Which is why I want him as a monarch. He's awesome.

I'll add one said by his grandson, Prince Harry:

"You don't sound like a black chap."
To Black British comedian Stephen K. Amos.

militia camp - basic training. We had a couple of Ugandans in our troop, (immigrants from the Amin era). One was this articulate, quick-witted and likable dude the Major dubbed 'Mr. President' and the other was his badass brother. He was a short, but tough guy who snarled and challenged everybody. (I was a bit older and had to face him down once) We were in canteen and a solid younger lad, sitting with us, well-meaning enough, said with a look of total seriousness "Are there like still cannibals in Africa ?" As several expressions flashed across badass's face, Mr. President just said "well yeah, I mean you have men that like to eat man's ass !" We both split a gut, and the lad who asked it seemed truly chagrined, (even though its sorta true).

In first grade, my teacher's name was Ms. Funk. A child mispronounced it by acedent. He said Ms. Click her if you are over 18. .. .. .. .

ah hah. It won't let you even that way. I tried the same with . .. .. .. .. ., yo momma should wash your mouth out with soap.

Regarding the word that rhymes with duck ? I actually invented it before I even knew what it was. I was looking at some encyclopedias when I was 6 (they were really cool illustrated 1960s versions) and I used to just sort of invent names for things I didn't know - I guess I wasn't learning english fast enough. Anyway, I came up with a series of nonsense 1 and 2 syllable nouns to describe a series of Egyptian hieroglyphs, and one of them was . .. .. .. .. My dad flipped, and slapped me. When he asked me where that came from I insisted on telling him the truth and he couldn't believe me, my look of injured innocence must have blown his mind.

....... .. .. .. .. ! that's what I think of that rule! (JK):lol::lol:

Journalism tends to have a stronger bias towards truth

A quote from a wikipedia article on science journalism.

More of a funny quote rather than a dumb quote:

"You know what guys ..... maybe Ghandi was an elephant!"

A friend of mine mumbled that at like 5 in the morning without any sleep and now that has become a longstanding inside joke amongst me and my friends.

"Some children are smart, while others are dumb."
-Someone in my class speaking about mental retardation stemming from some sort of genetic disease. He wasn't saying it to be mean, I think he just flubbed his words.

Writers Quotes
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy

I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.
William Faulkner

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
Steve Martin

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Mel Brooks

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Robert Benchley

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.
William Faulkner

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Robert Benchley

Those are actually great quotes

Writers Quotes
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy

I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.
William Faulkner

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
Steve Martin

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Mel Brooks

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Robert Benchley

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.
William Faulkner

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Robert Benchley
Really, bob? I've already seen you post this in 5 OTHER THREADS!! :mad: [pissed]

I have a friend who's 1rst word was F***.

My friend was about three when, after watching a WWII film, he saw some Germans. He shouted 'Nazis!!!!!!!' His cousin quickly ran off with him.

Those last two were epic :lol:

Edit: nevermind

I haven't read the whole thread, but one can't get enough of Dan Quayle:

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.


Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

The future will be better tomorrow.

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

[The U.S. victory in Gulf war was] a stirring victory for the forces of aggression.

My fellow astronauts...

How did Quayle even remember to breathe?

How did Quayle even remember to breathe?

Quayle---the truth: http://www.snopes.com/quotes/quayle.asp

It's funny that he has so many dumb quotes, that as mud-slinging, they were falsely attributed to opposing candidates during the 2004 election, according to Snopes.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/candidate.asp