:banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana:

25 bananas try to walk in to a bar but the CFC Forum now only allows 19. :(
:banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana:

... and everyone promptly shoots themselves.!

What with this obsession of bananas ever since I started the Favourite Fruits thread? Sorry guys. :(

Can we roll out all our lame and weather beaten "walked into a bar" jokes now?

A man, his lover, his wife, his friend, a woman, a rabbi, a priest, a country singer, a clown, 5 clowns, a parrot, a doctor and a small dog walk into a bar. Then a policeman arrives and says "Sorry, you have exceeded the legal character limit for this joke".

You know what I can take my other 3 infractions for Banana Spam just fine but, this?! That was a serious attempt at humor! :mad: :mad: :aargh:

1 Banana walks into a bar. They Split.

A dyslexic walks into a bra

Dyslexic jokes for the win!!

----

A pair of sunglasses walks into a bar and says: "Double vodka tonic please".

The bar man says: "I'm sorry, I can't serve you."

"Why not?" implores the pair of sunglasses.

To which the barman replies: "Because you're already off your face."



3....2....1..... groan

comment deleted

A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"

A man walks into a bar, with his mate the giraffe. They proceed to get sh!tfaced. As they walk out, the giraffe collapses and passes out in the doorway. The man keeps walking. So the barman shouts out: "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" To which the man replies: "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe".

A man walks into a bar with a shopping bag and orders a large drink. While drinking, he intermittently stops and bangs the bag on the bar. The bartender, now curious, asks the man what is in the bag. "Well" the man replies "If you had won first prize in the lottery, and then come home and found that your wife had forgotten to deliver the ticket, what would you do?" "Well, I would cut her head off" said the bartender jokingly, to which the man said "Exactly, what do you think I have in the bag?"

20 bananas walked into a bar and was captured. They we're cut in half, that's why we have a banana split.

A guy walks into a bar and orders six shots of Wild Turkey. The bartender asks, "So, what's the occasion?" and the guy answers, "My first fellatio." The bartender pours seven shots and says, "Well, then, congratulations! Why don't you have one on me as well?" The guy says, "Well, if six of them can't get the taste out of my mouth, I don't think seven will."

Priest, a Rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says:

"What is this, some kind of joke?"

Darth Nihlus walks into a bar, and he orders a 1/5 of Scotch.
Everyone dies.
He says: "Put the funeral expenses on my tab."

Darth Nihlus walks into a bar, and he orders a 1/5 of Scotch.
Everyone dies.
He says: "Put the funeral expenses on my tab."
Please Explain? :confused:

Please Explain? :confused:

Darth Nihilus was a Sith Lord. He could kill things by merely speaking to them, because of his unmatched power.:evil:

Darth Nihilus was a Sith Lord. He could kill things by merely speaking to them, because of his unmatched power.:evil:
Oh, ok. I'm not a star wars nut.

Oh, ok. I'm not a star wars nut.

I see that your obsession is with Monty Python.(kinda obvious)
That show was great.:goodjob:

I see that your obsession is with Monty Python.(kinda obvious)
That show was great.:goodjob:
Don't get me wrong I do like Star Wars I'm just not completely obsessed with it.
And it's good that someone else appreciates Monty Python.:)

Descartes walks into a bar and orders a tequila sunrise. The bartender looks at him for a moment and says "Wouldn't you like something a bit more manly?" Descartes says "I think not!" and disappears in a puff of logic.

A latin professor walks into a bar sits down and says "I'd like a martinus." The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini?" The professor says "No, I only want one damnit!"

A seal walks into a club...

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

A masochist walks into a bar. Hooray!

A gymnast walks on a bar...

A latin professor walks into a bar sits down and says "I'd like a martinus." The bartender says "Don't you mean a martini?" The professor says "No, I only want one damnit!"

Lol so stupid, so funny :lol:

A man walks into a pub. Ouch! It was an iron pub! I mean, an iron bar!

A rabbi, a priest, and an imam walk into a bar. All are offended by what they see.

A horse, a crocodile and Barbara Streisand walk into a bar. The barman asks: "Hey, why the long faces?"

Michael Jackson and a chimpanzee walks into a bar. "No monkeys allowed here" said the bartender and showed out Jackson.

A man walks into a bar.

A man walks out of the bar.

A man walks into a bar.

A man walks out of the bar.

A man walks into a bar.

A man walks out of the bar.
A man walks into a bar.

A man walks out of the bar.
A man walks into a bar.

A man walks out of the bar.
A man walks into a bar.

A man walks out of the bar.
A man walks into a bar.

A man walks out of the bar.

A suicide bomber walks into a bar...

A seal walks into a club...
Don't you mean "So baby seal walk into club..."

("Just One More Turn Theater", which I spammed to death when I was young and foolish. :sad:)

A Warrior runs into a club...
..."There that thing is!"

A banana walks into a bar...
...and is promptly chopped up for use in a specialty drink

A clumsy person walks into a bar...
Reels back from hitting his head on the bar, slips on the banana peel, and is robbed of all his cash by the Warrior, who has realized that the time has come to become an Infantry, but can't afford a rifle.

A soldier fires a BAR...

A soldier fires a BAR...
:ar15::banana:

Wow! A bullet-dodging banana! Now if we can use them as some kind of fuel source... I'VE GOT IT! WE CAN EAT THEM!!!

A Pikachu walks into a bone club...

Bodybuilder Hakim walks to a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is sick so the assistant serves him. When Hakim has had his beer he leaves without paying.

This happens every day for a week, then the assistant decides to start bodybuilding too. After 10 years he is finally stronger and tougher than Hakim, and the bartender is sick again. When Hakim walks to the bar, and tries to leave without paying, the assistant stops him:

"Why don't you pay?"

"I have a tab."





The moral teaching: you better trust people, even if they are black and tough. And you better avoid lame jokes.

A banana comes into a bar. To then be eaten.

Three pieces of string decide to go into the bar, but there's a sign saying "No strings allowed". Nevertheless, the first one tries his best and walks in. The barman promptly notices him and points to the sign "Can't you read? No strings allowed!" and the string walks out in disappointment. The second string tries. Again, the barman notices: "No strings allowed!" and is pushed out of the bar. The third ruffles himself up and starts tying himself up, and then proceeds to walk in. "Hey, aren't you a piece of string?" says the barman. "No, I'm a frayed knot" replies the string.

OLOLOLZEZ!!!! funny

Three pieces of string decide to go into the bar, but there's a sign saying "No strings allowed". Nevertheless, the first one tries his best and walks in. The barman promptly notices him and points to the sign "Can't you read? No strings allowed!" and the string walks out in disappointment. The second string tries. Again, the barman notices: "No strings allowed!" and is pushed out of the bar. The third ruffles himself up and starts tying himself up, and then proceeds to walk in. "Hey, aren't you a piece of string?" says the barman. "No, I'm a frayed knot" replies the string.
That's as old as China.:)

So this seagull walks into a convenience store...

No really, check it out :
http://i105.piczo.com/view/3/d/f/7/d/u/q/c/o/5/q/h/img/i299465966_61340_5.gif

zomfgroflmfao

A leet-speaker walks into a bar. "zomfgroflmfao" he said. He was lynched.

In leet-speak that would be 7_0|\/||=(_+|20|=|_|\/||=@0.

So this seagull walks into a convenience store...

No really, check it out :
http://i105.piczo.com/view/3/d/f/7/d/u/q/c/o/5/q/h/img/i299465966_61340_5.gif

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Probably fake though, why else would the guy be passing right as it picks it up?

No, it's true!

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/seagull.asp

Two men walk into a bar.
You'd think one of them would have seen it.

A man walked into a couple of bars. The bars had to have their honeymoon somewhere else.

I ate a bar, from a jar, in a car, it didn't go very far, nah.

Did we already do the one about the dyslexic walking into a bra?

A duck walks into a bar, hops up onto the bar.

"Got any peanuts?" he asks the bartender.

"No."

Duck jumps down and walks out.

Next day, the duck walks back into the bar, hops up on the bar.

"Got any peanuts?"

"No!"

Duck jumps down and walks out.

Next day, duck walks back into the bar, hops back up on the bar: "Got any peanuts?"

"NO!" screams the bartender, "we don't have any peanuts! If you come in here one more time asking for peanuts, I'm gonna nail your feet to the bar!"

Duck hops down and walks out.

Next day, duck walks into the bar, hops up on the bar, and asks: "Got any nails?"

NO! I do not have any nails!!!!!

"Good. Got any peanuts?"

Good one! And I see you already dropped the dyslexic one.

---

A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender figures that a kangaroo probably isn't very economically aware, and charges him $50. The marsupial orders a beer next time, and is charged $60. Finally, the bartender's curiosity gets the better of him. He casually remarks, "You know, we don't get too many kangaroos in here." The kangaroo replies, "At these prices, it's no wonder!"

A man walked into a Swedishguy. The man never walked again.

SwedishGuy walked into a bar. And evidently never left, as he keeps posting from there.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar exploded. That amount of awesomeness can't be contained in one building.

A bar went into Phineas Gage. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phineas_Gage)

Talk about a hangover!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/28/Phineas_gage_-_1868_skull_diagram.jpg

Wow, he survived for 12 more years? :eek:

A muslim walled into a bar mitzwah.

A spammer walked into a bar and ordered egg and bacon :cringe:

A man from 1940's walks into CyberSpace Anno 2008. He finds himself in a large storage of spam (The real spam, that tasteless fish or what it now is).

Not this thread again.:shake:

A humourless person walked into "20 Bananas walk into a bar". He was vaporized by Swedishguy.

A humourless person walked into "20 Bananas walk into a bar". He was vaporized by Swedishguy.It's gotta be funny first.

Obliterate walked into a bar. Something funny happened. He died happy.

In Russia, banana walks into YOU!

Obliterate walked into a bar. Something funny happened. He died happy.I saw a catharsis. :eek: And I was only happy because death is better than torture.:)

20 walked in and everybody mamboed!!!!!:banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana:

20 walked in and everybody mamboed!!!!!:banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana::banana: :banana:You know these bananas don't dance for me. They are static.

Nineteen snipers walked into a running man. :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :sniper: :run:

A king, a borg, a queen, a pharoah, a worshipper. a pimp, Jesus, Satan, a viking, an elder, a band, a sheep, a ninja, a hooligan, a salesman, a cowboy, Rudolf, Santa, and a snowman walk into a bar!

:king: :borg: :queen: :egypt: :bowdown:[pimp] :jesus: :satan: :viking: :old: ::band: :sheep: :ninja: :trouble: :deal: :cowboy: :rudolf: :santa2: :snowgrin:

Cheers!
:beer:

You know perf, there's a colon in between the :old: and the :band:. you might want to delete that. :) :p

It's fine just the way it is.

A running man walked into some illegal action. :backstab: :run:

A running man walked into some illegal action. :backstab: :run:

I LOLED :lol:

It's fine just the way it is.It is quite a disconcerting colon.

A mod walks to a spam thread

:nospam::bump:

A Thomas "Neo" Anderson takes a red pill.

The rest is history.

A Swedishguy splats a nice member. :splat:

A king, a borg, a queen, a pharoah, a worshipper. a pimp, Jesus, Satan, a viking, an elder, a band, a sheep, a ninja, a hooligan, a salesman, a cowboy, Rudolf, Santa, and a snowman walk into a bar!

:king: :borg: :queen: :egypt: :bowdown:[pimp] :jesus: :satan: :viking: :old: ::band: :sheep: :ninja: :trouble: :deal: :cowboy: :rudolf: :santa2: :snowgrin:

Cheers!
:beer:

And the bartender said, "let's not get emotional here."

NO!

HE SAID CHEERS

NO!

HE SAID CHEERS
He didn't say anything because he wa distracted by the colon.

My mind walked into a weird smiley loop.

:ar15::run::whip: