Any corny jokes :D that will make the masses :confused: laugh? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Corny Questions about geography:

Where is the place the people will sing?

SINGapore!

What is the place that have all the kinds of Docks?

PORTugal

What is the land of Bacteria?

GERMany

What is the city of madness?

MADrid

I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"

What is the place that have all the kinds of Docks?

PORTugal

That's exactly what the "portu" in "Portugal" is supposed to mean. Portugal is derived from Latin "Portus Cale", which means the Port of Cale, that was pronounced "Portu Cale" informally.

Isn't there another Thread just like this?

What country can you mistake for lice or fleas?


Laos.:yeah:

That's exactly what the "portu" in "Portugal" is supposed to mean. Portugal is derived from Latin "Portus Cale", which means the Port of Cale, that was pronounced "Portu Cale" informally.

Dude... that joke was totally :lol::lol::lol::lol:

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa275/sepamu92/PBF056-New_Specs_for_Ken.jpg

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa275/sepamu92/PBF056-New_Specs_for_Ken.jpg

:lol:
Who's going to explain that to the farmer?:mischief:

More!

Who is the leader of the burger people

burger KING

What is the city of cows

mosCOW

What is the city of ants

ANTwerp

Who built the first airplane that flies?

The Left brothers

The civilization that invented carts

CARThage

The ancient King of Lions

LIONidas

keep the jokes coming! :lol:

Isn't there another Thread just like this?Yes indeed. Just click on any thread in the Humour & Jokes forum and you've got the one you're thinking of.

Zhuge_Liang: I have to hand it to you. You have sunk to impressively new depths with these jokes. :goodjob:

----

By way of contribution and in the spirit of the those that have gone before, here's a geography lesson:

FEMALE GEOGRAPHY:

- Between 18 and 25, a woman is like Africa: wild, naturally beautiful, full of mystery, and blessed with fertile deltas.

- Between 26 and 34, a woman is like America: well-developed and open for trade, especially for those with stacks of money.

- Between 35 and 44, a woman is like India: sensual, relaxed, in full bloom, aware of her beauty.

- Between 45 and 54, a woman is like France: deliciously mature, still a pleasant destination to visit.

- Between 55 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia: a lost war, haunted by the mistakes of the past. Major reconstruction work is mostly the only answer.

- Between 61 and 65, a woman is like Russia: vast, with an undefined frontier. The cold climate puts off any potential visitors.

- Between 66 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia: a glorious past, great conquests, but without a future.

- After 70, a woman is like Afghanistan: many know its whereabouts, but no-one dares to venture there...

MALE GEOGRAPHY

- Between 15 and 90, a man is like Zimbabwe: ruled by a dick.

^That's not corny. That's actually funny! :lol:

Continuing with the bad jokes:

One day three guys were driving in the middle of nowhere when their car broke down.

They got out and looked around at their surroundings.

Finally, the first guy says, "I'm gonna go look for some food."

The other two guys say, "Why?".

"So we can eat of course." says the first guy.

Once the first guy comes back the second guy says, "I'm going to go get some water".

"Why" asked the other two.

"So we can drink it if we get thirsty of course".

Once the second guy gets back the third guy goes and tears off the car door.

"Whats that for?" asked the other two.

" In case we get hot we can roll down the window."

Dude... that joke was totally :lol::lol::lol::lol:
I was being totally serious.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_country_name_etymologies#P

"From medieval Romance Portucale, from Latin portus, "port" and Cale, the name of the Roman port of Cale (modern Porto). The origin of the name Cale is debated. It may have been related to the Gallaeci, a Celtic people who lived north of the Douro River in pre-Roman times."

Sure you are...

MORE!

What is the sport that sucks?

SUCKer

What is the only food-sport?

Cheess

Who was the first to colonize the new world and have a strange sickness?

Christopher Convulsion

Please tell me more jokes! :lol:

Chinese Translations:

Are you harboring a fugitive?
Hu Yu Hai Ding? / Who you hiding?

See me A.S.A.P.
Kum Hia Nao / Come right now.

Stupid Man
Dum Gai / Dumb guy

Small Horse
Tai Ni Po Ni / Tiny Pony

Did you go to the beach?
Wai Yu So Tan? / Why you so tan?

I bumped into a coffee table.
Ai Bang Mai Ni / I bang my knee

I think you need a facelift.
Chin Tu Fat / Chin too fat

It's very dark in here.
Wai So Dim? / Why so dim?

Has your flight been delayed?
Hao Long Wei Ting? / How long waiting?

I thought you were on a diet.
Wai Yu Mun Ching? / Why you munching?


This is a tow-away zone.
No Pah King / No Parking

Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena?
Wai Yu Sing Dum Song? / Why you sing dumb song

You are not very bright.
Yu So Dum / You so dumb

I got this for free.
Ai No Pei / I no Pay

I am not guilty.
Wai Hang Mi? / Why hang me?

Please, stay a while longer.
Wai Go Nao? / Why go now?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week.
Wai Yu Kum Nao? / Why you come now?

They have arrived.
Hia Dei Kum / Ya, they came.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Just keep the jokes coming!!! :) :) :)

More!

Who is the leader of the burger people



Charlemagne? :lol:

A couple in Southeast Asia recently bore a defective baby. They named him Sum Ting Wong

:huh: :huh: :huh: :twitch: :twitch: :twitch: :dubious: :dubious: :dubious:

HUH?

Try saying it out loud ;)

HAHAHAHAHA! SUM TING WONG - Something wrong! :lol:

What is the slipperiest country in the world?

Greece.

What's the country that's always in the rush?

RUSH-sia

:lol:

What do you call a midget psychic who's just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

^ :rotfl:
Good one!
(but not corny).
^That's not corny. That's actually funny! :lol:
Sorry. Will try harder next time.

CIVILIZED

John: Hi Jun!
Jun: Hey, hi!
John: Where had you been?
Jun: Africa...
John: aren't people there cannibalistic and uncivilized?
Jun: Yeah they eat people.
John: They are so uncivilized... but now are they still eating people?
Jun: Yeah, but they use Spoons and forks!

Truly terrible. Just like all your others in this thread. :hatsoff:

Huh? :mischief:

What do you call a dick full of words?

DICKtionary

Did you make that up?

I dunno but I made that up last night... I don't know if someone already has done that because... I don't browse threads longer than 10 pages you know! ;)

dude, that was so corny if i was a corn farmer i would be rich.

ps.that was just a joke, your joke was ok.

maybe I have another one:

What is the place of floors?

FLORida!

Two tomatoes crossed a road in America. But because there were so many cars they had to CATCH UP. Me so funny.

Q: What instrument do fish like to play?
A: A bass guitar.

Where is the place that the fishes repair their fins?

FINland

Tangential to video game jokes:

What is Cronus' favorite fruit?
Cronus' pear.

What is Cronus' favorite weapon?
Cronus' spear.

What is Cronus' 3D shape?
Cronus' sphere.

What do you call one of Cronus' colleagues?
Cronus' peer.

What do you call Cronus' gaze?
Cronus' peer.

What is Cronus afraid of?
Cronus' fear.

What is Cronus' favorite tree?
Cronus' fir.

Where do you find Cronus in lazy summer days?
Cronus' fair.

What do you get when you cross an Olympian titan with an architect of the Third Reich?
Cronus Speer.

Who is Cronus' son?
Zeus.

UNRELATED: Where do you bring dogs who have lost their tails?
To a retailer.

^^

Er, it's actually Kronos, not Cronus. Kinda takes the fun away, doesn't it? :mischief:

Depends on which translation and romanization you use (+idiot award points :joke: ). I prefer Cronus because...no, wait, I prefer Kronos because it's more Greek.

Yeah, I still prefer Kronos. It's well.... quite strong...