Seen any news headlines that made you :lol: or :rotfl: ?

Put them HERE!!!

For example:

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Air Head Fired

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

etc.



P. S. No full stories, please. Just the headlines. Other than that, go wild. (Pictures of the headlines are okay)

Have fun :D

"Recently Discovered Crocodile Species Possibly Previously Unknown".

"N.N., the first woman to drive a tank in Finland, will be leading the parade on 13.8.
Citizens should prepare for traffic jams for the whole weekend."

(a bit chauvinistic but many find it funny)

"Tornado Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead"

"Woman Slain, Police Suspect Foul Play"

Now for the made-up ones...
"Toilet Stolen from Police Station, Cops Have Nothing to Go On"
"Monica Lewinsky's Ex-boyfriend's Wife Falls Behind in Polls"

Question: Are Onion articles acceptable?

"How common is bugging in prisons?"
From BBC news today.

Question: Are Onion articles acceptable?

Sorry, but what are Onion articles? :confused:

Sorry, but what are Onion articles? :confused:

http://www.theonion.com/content/index

And yes, it's satire.

Instead of:
Fryst kycklinglever (=Frozen Chicken Liver)

It said:
Fryst kyckling lever (=Frozen Chicken Alive)

There's already a thread about it. (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=136763)

Ok, Onion articles are good.

There's already a thread about it. (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=136763)

Then this is Funny News Headlines II;)


"Soccer Player Kicks Ball, Bucket"

I think that since they are not real, Onion headlines should be shown as such.

Ex: "Dept. Of Homeland Security: 'Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?'"Onion

I think that since they are not real, Onion headlines should be shown as such.

Ex: "Dept. Of Homeland Security: 'Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?'"Onion

:agree: You should specify whether or not they are Onion articles.

p. s. Made-up ones are ok, :yup: just specify. Nice ones lutzj! :goodjob:

Some more articles:

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax (one of my favorites:lol:)

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Stadium Air Conditioning Fails--Fans Protest

Man shoots neighbor with machete.

A few years ago, the footballer David James moved from Manchester City to Portsmouth. To replace him, Kevin Keegan signed David Seaman. The headline on the Sky Sports website read:

KEEGAN FILLS JAMES' GAP WITH SEAMAN

There's a screenshot of it somewhere, but I can't find it

Sorry for the bump,but heres one.

Captain missing sandwich

"Jogger runs mile with rabid fox locked on her arm" -AP

From my slumber I awaken gentlemen, to bring forth the message of Criggo. (http://criggo.wordpress.com/)

" trace amounts of food found in KFC snacker." Onion

"Tornado Hits Cemetery; Dozens Dead"

Tornado hits trailer park.... $15,000 in improvemants reported!

Not real but I laughed.

Here's a few related to the Wendy's Chili finger incident that happened a few years ago.

"Woman bites off more than she can chew."

"Six-digit reward for information on Wendy's chilli finger."

"Wendy's chilli has too much of a human touch."

Lawyer Says Client is Not That Guilty
Alzheimer's Center Prepares for An Affair to Remember
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Gas Cloud Clears Out Taco Bell
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Legislator Wants Tougher Death Penalty
Man Jumps Off 2nd Street Bridge. Neither Jumper nor Body Found
After Detour to California Shuttle Returns to Earth
Man Found Dead in Cemetery
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Couple Slain, Police Suspect Homicide
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Woman Improving After Fatal Crash
Red Tape Holds up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17328
Arson Suspect is held in Massachusetts Fire
New Vaccine may Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Publicize Your Business Absolutely free! Just send $6.00
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Cutthroat Preschool Ritual Isn't Like Prison, or is it? -NY Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/nyregion/14bigcity.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=preschool%20ritual%20isn%27t%20like%20prison&st=cse)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/24/58738621_b1011d98d1_m.jpg

More of a pun but:

Chinese girl gets 'kiss of deaf':
A young Chinese woman was left partially deaf following a passionate kiss from her boyfriend.
The 20-something from Zhuhai in Guangdong province arrived at hospital having completely lost the hearing in her left ear, said local reports.
The incident prompted a series of articles in the local media warning of the dangers of excessive kissing.
"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," wrote the China Daily.
The doctor who treated the girl in hospital was quoted in the paper explaining what had happened.
"The kiss reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear."
The chorus of warnings was echoed by the Shanghai Daily, which wrote: "A strong kiss may cause an imbalance in the air pressure between two inner ears and lead to a broken ear drum."
The young woman is expected to regain her full hearing within about two months.

A few years old, but I remember almost pissing myself when I read it.

"Rosie O'Donnell marries girlfriend, slams Bush."

I recall one from California about 20 years ago.

"Man kills landlady with German anti-tank weapon"

I always wondered what sort of a landlady required and anti-tank weapon to do her, and why it was significant that it was a German weapon. It was only a list of capsule headlines, however, so I never got the rest of the story.

She was a tank.

She was a tank.
And German.

You're worried about why it was used? I'm more worried about how he got the weapon.

Bad placement.
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/fail-owned-magazine-juxtaposition-fail.jpg

:rotfl:
What, you're telling me those guys aren't rapists? Look at them.

This is a headline from when Celtic lost a Scottish FA Cup tie to a lowly ranked team.
"Super Cali go ballistic Celtic are atrocious."

This is a headline from when Celtic lost a Scottish FA Cup tie to a lowly ranked team.
"Super Cali go ballistic Celtic are atrocious."


you are omitting a crucial bit of info, the team Celtic lost to was Inveness Caledonian Thistle, whose nickname is Cali

Self-explanatory.

http://www.strangepersons.com/images/content/118910.jpg