@Swedishguy: We had predetermined the the 5th edition that I would start this thread. Sorry. (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?p=6520617#post6520617)
Number 5 (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=232692)

The rules are simple: Grant the previous poster's wish in a way that turns it back on them, and then make your own wish!


Starting wish:
I wish that money came out of my butt.

granted but you get so many papercuts you bleed to death.

i wish i had 50000$ to do whatever i want with.

Granted, but it's in Canadian Dollars.

I wish that, from now on in all Good Wish/Bad Wish Threads, YOU CAN WISH IN PAST TENSE AND TENSE CANNOT BE USED AS A TWIST.

**** YOU, SWEDISHGUY!!!

Granted, but you are needed as a sacrifice to make the wish come true.

I wish I had an awesome computer, and nothing bad can happen to me or the computer, or anything in the world as a result of this wish.

Granted. But Swedishguy ignores the new rule.

I wish for fudge.

Granted. You got it from the bathroom...

I wish that I could be sacrificed to cause the new rule to come into place, and then mysteriously come back to life

Granted, but you come back to life, undead. You can't think, can't play civ (:p), can't do anything but kill randomly.

I wish the rule had always been in place and never needed to be put in.

Granted, it was in place but now it's gone! :nya:

I wish people will start to think more logically towards grammar.

Granted, however, we all have our heads so far up our butts, we chock on our own bile and crap and die

I wish to be a genie!

Granted.

I wish to be the next one to make this thread.

Granted, no one posts in it.

I wish Swedishguy's avatar was next to me. :droll:

Granted. However, it turns out that the picture is cropped, and what the real picture is of isn't of that woman in that that photo... it's a man!

Granted, but you come back to life, undead. You can't think, can't play civ (), can't do anything but kill randomly.

I wish the rule had always been in place and never needed to be put in.

Tasslehoff, you've doomed us all! :run:

Okay, I'm going to ignore Swedishguy until he follows the rule (It's just the way grammar works in English, so just let us make wishes in past tense! It's really annoying to constantly have you twisting the wishes by taking advantage of that. I know it's retarded, but IT'S JUST THE WAY IT WORKS IN ENGLISH.).

Granted, but you didn't make a wish, so there's nothing to grant.

I wish Swedishguy would just follow the rule!

I wish choxorn was here.

Granted. However, as your avatar was of a man (according to the previous grant from me the genie) choxorn kicks you in the place where it hurts and escapes.

I wish to have a Ferrari!

Granted, its 60 years old and doesnt work.



I wish that americans would be smarter and more friendly (but not TOO friendly).

Granted - But their idea of friendly is launching 700 nukes instead of 800, so the world is still screwed.

I wish I had some warm socks!

Granted. You had some, but now you don't

I wish Swedishguy made that reply

Granted, I did. I make a better twist, however!

I wish choxorn made that reply.

Granted, what reply?

I wish I knew what reply Swedishguy referred to.

Granted. You knew, but now you don't

I wish people wish in present tense to avoid such twists

Granted. FULLY GRANTED. Anyone who breaks the grant will have their wish ignored.

I wish choxorn is ignored.

not granted, its a stupid wish

i wish we could and can wish in past or present tense if we wish

Granted, but you are needed as a sacrifice to make the wish come true.


I wish I had a pet dog that will not attack me or run away

Okay, enough of this past/present tense fight. I'm creating a new Good Wish Bad Wish Thread in which you can wish in either tense and not have twists that are based on the tense. Anyone who wants to can come there and we can avoid the stupid past-tense twists of Swedishguy and Stylesrj. Hopefully, this will stop this thread from becoming a flame war.

EDIT: And here's a link to that thread:

http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=265210

Didn't Swedishguy make his own Good Wish Bad Wish thread? Now we got three of them!

I wish choxorn would give it a rest; after thousands of wishes ideas are ideas.

As thread creator, I declare that you can wish or grant wishes in any tense.

I thought this thread was Swedishguy's, that's why I was using the past tense wishes and stuff

I wish someone concentrates on playing the game.

As thread creator, I declare that you can wish or grant wishes in any tense.

What exactly does that mean?

And look, it was okay the first few times, but after the hundreds of times it's been done, it gets really annoying to see twists that stupid when there are much better ones that could be used.

I wish someone concentrates on playing the game.

Granted. However, it is me!

I wish to be a genie and to grant everyone's wish, even if I'm not here!

Granted. You're imprisoned in a lamp and never found again.

I wish Swedishguy would find a way to make this wish a bad one!

Granted, he paid me to grant it, denying you the clever response you wanted!

I wish choxorn would give up on his futile attempt at unifying the tenses of wishing.

What, so you want Past Tense and Present Tense Wishers to be at war?

Granted. However, Swedishguy had went to war and now your butt is kicked due to the past tense

I wish that did make sense

Granted, it did but now it doesn't! :nya:

I wish I had a couple of Babales at my command.

Granted, you did but now you don't! :mwaha:

I wish for a good night's rest.

Granted, now you will never wake up again.

I wish Eurovision had had higher global viewing ratings.

Granted, it had had them, but then hadn't. We're still working on whether it does now ;)

I wish to wake up.

Granted. But an anvil falls on your head and kills you

I wish to be the person who dropped the anvil

Granted, you drop it on your foot.

I wish I was Han Solo.

Granted, you will now be frozen in carbonite.

I wish I knew more about being frozen in carbonite, and this wish cannot be granted by saying that I get frozen in carbonite!

Granted, you are frozen in diarrhea.



I wish that the diarrhea came from Swedishguy's butt and the grant to this wish will not affect me badly.

Granted. However, it affects your brother badly and you start feeling his pain. But it does not affect you "badly" as a dead guy would

I wish to be more sadistic

Granted, you become so sadistic that you kill <insert name of famous person here>, and get sentenced to death.

I wish to be free of this frozen block of Swedishguy's diarrhea!

Granted, but it involves me breaking the two-post rule and not posting a wish below!

I wish I have never had diarrhea and never will have.

Granted, this means kill fire never froze me in a block of it. Thank you very much!

I wish I can never be frozen in anything, unless I decide otherwise.

Granted. However, you just got burned by something, and now you can't move without hurting yourself from the burns! OOOHH!!! Burn!

I wish that was outrageously funny!

Granted. Since laughter is the best medicine, and too much of a good thing is bad, everyone laughs so much that the entire world DIES!

I wish I was on a beach in Hawaii without sharks.

This is a double post due to lag on my part. Disregard it as I cannot see anyway to delete it. Actually, don't even read this. It's nothing. You're hallucinating.

Granted, you drown due to a freak wave.

I wish for more sleep.

Granted, you know sleep for 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999 years each time you go to sleep, which pretty much means you die when you go to sleep.



i wish that this wish's twist would affect Swedishguy badly but not me.

@oneperson: Please get rid of the double post.

Granted, but the genie can't understand what "this wishes twist" means, and thus grants a wish that involves someone named "This" wishing for a twist.

I wish kill fire is not so lazy with grammar.

Granted, Kill Fire isn't but someone you know is!:D



I wish that my twist wasn't such a cheap shot.

Granted, it wasn't the stinging kind, so nobody cares how cheap it is.

I wish for the ability to conjure seal meat.

Granted. But in order to unlock it, you have to club baby seals.
Also by seal meat, you also mean Navy SEAL meat and I kick your butt for trying to steal my flesh!

I wish to have a cake!

Granted, you have poo-flavored cake

I wish I had a chocolate cake!

Granted, you had a chocolate cake. Somebody ate it.

I wish I have a chocolate cake.

Granted. But you think the chocolate looked suspiciously disgusting and you handed it to me.
I ate the cake and I enjoyed it without any side effects, and you lost a pretty good cake

I wish any cake Swedishguy receives is a lie

Granted, YOU JUST ATE A LIE!

I wish for Uncle Fester to be my personal slave.

(What's wrong with eating a lie? It must have been pretty good!)

(Grant my friggin' wish, already! :sad:)

Granted. But you get arrested due to the emancipation proclamation.

I wish I finished all the side quests in The Elder Scrolls IV.

Granted, but you have no life as a direct result.

I wish for a life.

Granted, it sucks.

I wish I didn't have homework tonight.

Granted, don't do it and suffer the consequences.

I wish for a can of soda.

Granted. It's flat

I wish for some water

Granted, you get 1 kubic centimeter...

I wish Swedishguy had a wish that I could twist into something bad!

Granted, he wishes he had some gold bars, they fall on his head and kill him. :p

I wish I had a key that could unlock anything!

Granted, it's me! :nya:

I wish I can and will use this power somehow...

You use it for evil, and thus got LOLPWNED by the Justice League.

I wish I was in the justice league!

Granted, they judge you.

I wish I had bad luck.

Granted, I accidentally delete . .. .. .. .. .. .. .

I wish to own . .. .. .. . and lots of . .. .. .. .. .. .

Granted. You realise that Phase 2 is missing and you dunno how to profit

I wish to know what Phase 2 is (and not any number of question marks) in this step-by-step program:

Phase 1: Collect underpants
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit

Granted, you die because of the shock. :shifty:

I wish my back doesn't hurt.

Granted, the rest of you does.

I wish I can make Swedishguy's back hurt again, while still making the rest of him hurt.

Granted, you can, but only by cutting off your own right index finger.

I wish for yummy cake that I get to eat and enjoy.

Granted. However, there's indigestion afterwards and you regret enjoying that cake

I wish for some grief counselling (because I had some cake)

Granted, everyone's lying because they ate a cake that was for Swedishguy initially.

I wish for a pumpkin free of charge that isn't harmful in any way and is enjoable for me and that I have full capability of eaig and I will eat it and nothing unexplainable like aliens kill me will happen.

Granted, it's stolen.

I wish I had more time.

Granted, you get 10000000000 years worth of time. You get really bored.

I wish for a pumpkin free of charge that isn't harmful in any way and is enjoable for me and that I have full capability of eatig and I will eat it and nothing unexplainable like aliens kill me will happen and it won't be stolen.

Granted : Since that kind of pumpkin only exists in dreams, you wake up and get really depressed cause it's not real.

I wish I had 'Frontlines: Fuel of War'.

Granted, you drop it on the floor, breaking it. Let the depression sink in. :mwaha:

I wish for a cool hat.

Granted, you drop it on the floor, breaking it. Let the depression sink in. :nya:

I wish everyone abolishes :mwahaha: and worships :nya:

Granted, :nya: sucks compared to the might of :mwaha:

I wish for an UNBREAKABLE hat.

Granted. However, it's stolen by some guy

I wish I was that guy who stole the hat...

Granted, the penalty for stealing is DEATH :mwaha:

I wish for GLADoS to die forever.

Granted. Portal is no longer possible, hence all portal disks disappear from the world, causing a global suicide rate of over 87%.

I wish I had the last copy of Portal!

Granted, :nya: sucks compared to the might of :mwaha:


Silly Lutzj, the correct twist is ":mwahaha:" is abolished, but ":mwaha:" isn't. ;)

But, anyway...

Granted, but people find out and there's now an angry mob outside your door demanding you give it to them.

I wish I was in that mob.

Granted, but they go into mass suicide over the portal copy missing thing!

I wish to have a copy of Half-life 2

Granted, but since Portal no longer exists, you have a severe identity crisis. Also, you are depressed because all your friends have Episodes 1 and 2 and you don't. These together make you want to kill yourself.

I wish for world peace.

:nya::nya::nya::nya::nya:
:nya::nya::nya::nya::nya:
:nya::nya::nya::nya::nya:

:mwaha::mwaha::mwaha::mwaha::mwaha:

Granted. They kill you

I wish for a wish about a fish in a dish with a side of hashish!

Granted, wishing for a wish ends time.

I wish for more time.

Granted, now you won't have any use of it.

I wish everyone in the universe was happy, including myself.

Granted, happiness is ignorance.

I wish ignorance is blitz.

Granted, "blitz" is the German word for Lightning, so Ignorant people can now transform into lightning bolts.

I wish I was ignorant so I can use this power

Granted, you don't know how to use it because you are so ignorant!

I wish for safety from the sudden flood of 6 billion lighting bolts all over the world.

Granted, you gain the power of blitz.

I wish Swedishguy is blitz.

Granted. Congratulations, you're a bolt of Lightning. You can't do anything besides go down to an object.

I wish I had enough ignorance to be able to use the power I mentioned 3 posts ago, but little enough ignorance that I know how to use it.

Granted, but you are so ignorant that you use your power to power a machine that takes away the power of blitz form everyone so now you are more ignorant than ever!



I wish for happines to all of CFC and the people who inhabit it.

Granted, nobody "inhabits" it, so you wasted a wish.

I wish for all the people who are members of CFC to be happy, especially me!

Granted, but since you are the most happy people get jealous and kill you.



I wish that this wish would be ignored.

I wish we ignore all of Kill fire's wishes :lol:

Granted, but his name is kill fire, not Kill fire, so we all listen to him.

I wish for a doughnut.

Granted, you get a nut filled with dough. You throw up. :vomit:

I wish everyone in America throws up nonstop for 15 years.

Granted. However, you decide to visit the place to see how they're going and you mess up the plane and it crashes and you die in a pile of everyone's vomit!
Oh and the sewers are so clogged, the Earth explodes

I wish the Earth can explode through such means

Granted, I was vacationing on Mars when it did.

I wish I could happily vacation on Mars without dying.

Granted, it's a fake stage somewhere in Ireland.

I wish everyone was immortal.

Granted, they were but now only I am.

I wish to be even more immortal than I already was.

Granted, they did like the furons: cloned themselves.

Í wísh äll vöcåls árë wêìrd.

Grãntêd, bùt théÿ åll søünd thë såmè.

I wish for $15000.

Granted, someone gets jealous of your small fortune and kills you for it.

I wish to be that person.

Granted, you get arrested for murder.

I wish I know how to create symbols on my computer with my keyboard.

Granted it's alt option+either `, e, u, i, a, c, or n, but you don't have alt option on your keyboard.

I wish that the hackers hadn't hacked CFC.

Granted, they hacked your computer instead.

I wish no one said anything about me breaking the two-post rule!

Granted, . .. .. .. .. . . .. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. ... ... .. .. .. ..!

I wish that was not so easy.

Granted, you had to write a C++ program sequence 35 pages long to make those dots.

I wish that I had Halo 3.

Granted, you just got a Ring of Death :mwaha:

I wish for Civilization: Revolution

Granted, but someone finds out you have it, thinks you stole it, and calls the cops on you.

I wish I had Civilization 4, Civilization 4 Warlords, and Civilization 4 Beyond the Sword. And none of them are stolen, pirated, broken, scratched, or disfunctional, and they cannot ever break or not function well, and they cannot ever be stolen, and my computer will not break or function badly either.

Granted, you lose all your free time to them, then your soul :mwaha:

I wish I could watch your slow downward spiral into Civ addiction

Granted, it takes multiple decades and you lose your life.

I wish for a never-ending supply of chocolate.

Granted. You get so fat you can't reach it

I wish to steal his supply of chocolate and not die or get fat from it

Granted, I steal it from you.

I wish the ice cream could not be stolen, and could not make me fat, sick, poisoned, or dead.

Granted, it never brings you true happiness :(

I wish for true happiness

Granted, it involves lots of ice cream
(I never had an ice cream supply Choxorn, by the way)

I wish I had my ice cream supply back, because Choxorn stole it off me and I can't eat my infinite chocolate supply without some ice cream!

Granted, but global warming turns it all into a massive whirlpool of sludge.

I wish for a house like the Winchester Mystery House.

Granted, however Swedishguy illegimately edits your post.

I wish for a house NOT like the Winchester Mystery House.

You get a Burundian house that consists of a bush and some twigs! :nya:

I wish something could be done to them Burundians. :(

Granted, they disappear, then reappear at your house and kill you.

I wish I had Stylesrj's chocolate and ice cream, and neither would melt.

Granted. They're poisoned, and you die a slow, painful, horrible death.

I wish for a comfy bed! And by that I mean no spikes!

Granted, you get a bed of nice, soft, comfy...



... grizzly bears.

I wish I could watch the result safely.

Granted, you are traumatized by it.

I wish I could have watched that without being traumatized or harmed by the bears.

Granted, you get harmed by a writhing oneperson with a knife.

I wish that I could go flying at 200mph and land in the mouth of a plywood alligator while trying to lift my friend off the ground.

Granted, you use a jetpack. It explodes at landing.

I wish for a Homer Simpson that can't harm me.

Granted, now he harms your mother.

I wish for universal intelligence and eternal happiness.

Granted. Unfortunately, another Universe gets jealous of our intellegence and starts making fun of us, at which point several other universes join in.

Ah... I hate being reminded of real life...

I wish Our Universe could punch the other Universes in the face.

Granted, so can they!

I wish at my own risk!

Granted, while wishing, you fall into a bottomless pit, and since it's at your own risk, Civfanatics, Inc, is not responsible.

I wish I had a personal helicopter.

Granted, you crash it into a Mountain.

I wish I could think of a wish!

Granted, you wish to die.

I wish for a hug.

You get one... by a bear.

I wish bears were my friends!

Granted. But Yogi steals your picnic basket

I wish to have that basket!

Granted, you get arrested for stealing it.

I wish that there was a third alternative to capitalism and communism.

Granted, death :mwaha:

I wish people would stop complaining about how awesome capitalism is :commerce:

Granted, they rant about how awesome communism is.

I wish Socialism is the third way option.

Granted, that's what Mao managed to trick China into thinking.

I wish people would realize that socialism is really just communism with a better image.

Granted, people think communism rules.

I wish that we could stop wishing for political things.

Granted. You found God

I wish for a world without religion

GRANTED.

I wish Stylesrj's wish would continue forever.

Granted. The universe blows up the next day.

I wish that I could vomit out a new universe.

Granted. Since you vomited it out, life in this universe is a burning, pungent hellstorm.

I wish it was my birthday!

Granted, since you said "was" a paradox is created and you rip a hole in the Space-Time Continuum!

I wish to rip more holes in the Space-Time Continuum.

Granted, you fall in them.

I wish to push you into them. ;)

Granted, he comes out of another hole on the other side of the universe.

I wish I have pie with which to celebrate Pi Day! (March 14, for you ignoramuses out there :p)

Granted, the Pie is made out of Pi. Your head explodes.

I wish Pi was exactly 3.

(BTW, It's Ignoramini.)

I'm sorry, I can't grant that.

I wish everybody knew the first 50 digits of Pi.

Stuck in Pi is ignored for not granting the wish:

Granted, the universe is now two-dimensional as a result of the warping.

I wish to be a circle in Flatland.

Granted. Since you technically only have one side, you're deemed the lowest of the low and subsequently eaten.

I wish I was a dodecahedron in Flatland!

Granted. You poke a side on a tetradecahedron

I wish to be a polygon with 100 sides in Flatland

Granted. You have 100 sides of onion rings.

I wish I could eat that.

Granted, eating 100 sides of onion rings causes your belly to explode.

I wish to be a iscoceles triangle in Finland.

Granted, I restore the 3-dimensional universe. You are now a pyramid, and archeologists explore you.

I wish I had some real Pie (As in, not made out of Pi or anything else that shouldn't be in a Pie)!

Granted. It's so real, you become unreal, which kills you

I wish everyone is two-dimensional!

Granted, now the digestive system splits us in two parts (Nice job).

I wish I always get as I want it. (If they get jealous, I just send them to a very own universe.)

Granted, everyone is sent to a different universe. You howl.

I wish to be an Allmighty Diety.

Granted. People don't believe in you, thus making you lose all will to live.

I wish that the whole world was ruled by one righteous, fair, smart, democratic President (Who's not George Bush).

Granted - it's Swdishguy! :nya:

I wish everyone understood that :nya: is obviously superior to :mwaha:

Granted, but they all develop sudden ocular problems and cannot differentiate, so they pick the one that moves more, :mwaha:.

I wish for an end to different dimensional wishes.

Granted, but now the dimensions decide to wedgie you.

I wish that the whole world was ruled by one righteous, fair, smart, democratic President who's not George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Swedishguy, Jono, Stylesrj, or kill fire. :p

Granted, it's me!

I wish that Haze came out for the 360, and that I had it (for free, of course).

EDIT: Nevermind.

Granted. However, piracy is illegal and the Feds bust you! OH SNAP!

I wish that the whole world was ruled by one righteous, fair, smart, democratic President who's not George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Swedishguy, Jono, kill fire or anyone else but me!

Granted, an Asian Guy named Me Su-Kong rules the world.

I wish I had an indestructible death star!

Granted, you don't have the energy needed to use it.

I wish I get to use the Death Star on Earth!

Granted, but Luke blows it up in the nick of time.

I wish I did not just break the 2-post rule.

Granted. But the Mods still attack you.

I wish that my computer would stop laging.

Granted, but it cannot stop laughing.

I wish to say "A laughing computer? That's silly." with no bad things happening to me as a result of that.

Granted. However you feel a bit sad from it, which isn't too bad.
Then you discover that your pants are gone and everyone laughs at you

I wish that the whole world was ruled by one righteous, fair, smart, democratic President who's not George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Swedishguy, Jono, kill fire or anyone else but Stylesrj!

Granted, since you obviously isn't all that stuff a paradox is made and everyone dies.

I wish everyone came to life as zombies.

Granted, we eat your brains, and the rest of your body.

I wish Swedishguy knew how confusing "You obviously isn't" is. (It's "You obviously aren't", Swedishguy. :p)

Granted. He uses it against you

I wish to be a zombie genie werewolf vampire!

Granted. You get the head of a zombie, the tail of a werewolf, the bod of a genie, and the arms of a vampire.

I wish that people couldn't make Chuck Norris referances.

Granted, now they make Master Chief References.

I wish a big fool, with a gun, go to war. Surrendered and turned to a cake.

Granted. The cake was a lie though

I wish to be a treehouse who lives in a cake!

Granted, you get eaten.




I wish that Stylesrj is not the president of the world anymore and that we would have a ruler that would actually do something GOOD for the world and that this wish will not affect me in any sort of negitive way.

Granted, I become ruler of the world and kill George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Swedishguy. No more stupid US president/VP or annoying moron spammer from Sweden!

I wish I had a superweapon that could turn anything into a food that I decide!

Granted. First target is you and you decide a pie.
Yummy

I wish Choxorn cannot be eaten

Granted, he can be destroyed though.

I wish to destroy choxorn!

Granted, but he created a parallel entity when he turned into a pie, so he lives still.

I wish to be a banana.

Granted. A monkey eats you.

I wish I saw the way the orange slayed the rake.

Granted, it makes you insane.

I wish to know what the hell a "rake" is.

Granted. It's a tool which is used to move leaves or debris in a garden. Oh and you are scratched by one quite badly

I wish to be three years dead, but it tells a tale!

Granted, but seeing as "it" is undefined, then #DIV/0! happens.

I wish that we could have the mental capacity to stop quoting the llama song.

Granted, we quit CFC.

I wish for a
http://www.newsdesk.se/files/e4cda12d0383c5f6e50922b9fc5416dc/resources/ResourceHiresImage/thumbnails/kalles_randiga_med_banan_medium.jpg

Granted. However, it is quite disturbing

I wish to retire now and become a duck!

Granted, you didn't pay your social security, so you have to go back to work as a duck, and nobody lets you work, so you die.

I wish that people would stop posting that banan thing.

Granted, Swedishguy ain't no person. :nya:

I wish for a
http://www.newsdesk.se/files/e4cda12d0383c5f6e50922b9fc5416dc/resources/ResourceHiresImage/thumbnails/kalles_randiga_med_banan_medium.jpg
that isn't disturbing.

Granted. However, you explode for no particular reason

I wish to see a llama kiss a llama on the llama llama llama duck

Granted, the llama slobbers all over your face.

I wish all llamas in the world would kick people in the face if they tried to make a wish regarding the stupid llama song.

Granted, but everybody who does transplants their face onto other llamas, and the llamas all kill each other.

I wish I knew what Arnold is singing here (http://arnoldsings.ytmnd.com/).

Granted, he tells you to shoot yourself in the foot and you comply.

I wish I could shoot someone in the foot without an consequence whatsoever.

Granted, your poor spelling makes the genie granting your wish mad and he eats your brain.

I wish that I missed my foot and I still knew what Arnold was singing.

Granted, but you hear so many swear words that you magnetically shoot yourself! (in the head)

I wish I have more time.

Granted. You have all the time in the world. You can't take it anymore and commit suicide

I wish to swim with the Dolphins!

Granted. You go swimming with the Miami Dolphins and get pummeled.

I wish to watch Stylesrj get pummeled, not get pummeled myself, be on a completely safe boat, and have some extra-buttery popcorn.

Granted, a hurricane kills you however...

I wish for the key to everything.

Granted. It also happens to unlock their deaths when you stick it into people. It gets stuck into you...

I wish to nuke everyone

Granted, but you get hit by radiation extra hard.


I wish nothing bad could happen to this wish.'


(:p)

Granted, but the wish is not a physical entity, so the data holding the wish morphs and becomes: "I wish that I could commit ritual and virtual suicide."

I wish that 2=3.

Granted, 6720=10080! I have 10080 posts! :dance:

I wish this only benefits me.

Granted, you get a PCR for all the spam you've posted. Your Postcount is 6723 again.

I wish for the silliest weapon possible!

Granted, it will kill your dearest because of it sillyness.

I wish that the whole border system collapses and the world is now ruled by a enviromentalist, peace-loving, intellectual leader, that isn't a cruel dictator, a stupid American republican president or any of CivFanatic's members.

Granted, but he decided that the Internet cost too much (in electricity) and closed it down.


I wish I can wish again.

No can do! Paradoxes make the earth explode.

I wish I know what I'm jabbering about.

Granted, you are so shocked that you cease to exist.

I wish to free Hat. (http://www.southparkzone.com/episodes/609/Free-Hat.html)

Granted. However, they remake Raiders of the Lost Ark and it sucks

I wish that it rained popcorn, because popcorn is awesome

Granted. You choke while trying to catch a falling piece in your mouth. You die.

I wish I had some popcorn.

Granted! 2 nanometers worth!

I wish I can blow up. (can you make that worse??? Huh???)

Granted. That's not a Good Wish. You burn in hell.

I wish to kill every animal on Earth.

(sh1t?)


Granted, you decided to kill Homos Specians first... starting with yours truely. (yourself)

I wish that any bad things that happen to this wish is undoed and hits the next poster.

Granted. You miss out on the infinite food, because of the two-post rule violation

I wish people would stop violating the 2 post rule!

Granted, but you accidentally break it and get banned from the thread.

I wish my parents would let me wear my glasses any way I want to!

Granted, they let you wear the type of glasses you can drink out of any way you want.

I wish I had a million dollars!

Granted, but the debt with the bank wiped it out in 2 days.


I wish my name isn't really Charles Li.

Granted. It's now Googledgokdhirfhirjhtimk Norris.

I wish Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks now Googledgokdhirfhirjhtimk Norris for trying to have the same name as him

Granted, but the name flies from the kick, hits you, you get kicked, and it didn't fly off until forever.


I wish my name Isn't Chuck Norris.

Granted, but because of your bad grammar, you get banned by mean moderators.

I wish for an iPhone.

Granted, it gets run over by a bus.

I wish for an indestructible, unstealable iPhone.

Granted, you lose your mind and cannot use it.

I wish for some french fries.

Granted. But you die of a heart attack because you and Charles violated the two-post rule YET AGAIN!!

I wish CivGeneral to be here

Granted, but he is hacked by a NOOB


I wish you were a noob.

Granted, but since he wished for CivGeneral and at the same time hacked him, he becomes a hypocrite and is subject to much derogatory spam from CFC members.

I wish that the two-post rule would be abolished.

Granted. However, someone makes a wish to reinstate it, and it gets granted.

I wish the two-post rule was back in place

Granted. However, the negative is that you get a few zits on your face

I wish to have the zits removed

Granted, they are replaced by moles.

I wish that I would know which of the two girls I have a crush on is the right one to ask out.

Granted, both of them don't like you, so neither is really the "right" one.

I wish I knew everything!

Granted, you are disgusted by what you learn and shoot yourself in the foot to deal with it.

I wish to know everything that doesn't disgust me!

Granted. The government kills you on account of knowing too much.

I wish I had an apple.

Granted, someone stole it. Along with your camera and pants.

I wish for his camera and pants and apple!

Granted. Someone stoled them though

I wish to have the camera and pants

Granted! The crap in the pants stinked you.

I wish I have a nice pair of uncraped pants.

Granted, but a dog randomly comes and piddles on your pants.

I wish I had a caramel Crunch bar.

Granted, it has a cockroach inside of it.

I wish I had a completely untampered Reeses' Peanut Butter Cup.

Granted, but you get food-borne illnesses from that milk you had with it.

I wish I am respected.

Granted. You are respected as the only man on earth with an IQ of less than 50.

I wish to have an IQ of 140.

Granted, but you are laughed at as a nerd for the rest of your life.

I wish Osama bin Ladin was captured and executed and for people to realize very few Muslims are like him.

Granted, all of the worlds Muslims convert to WeKillAllWhoOpposeUsIsm.

I wish I understood what the two-post rule is.