Let me begin:
When live gives you lemons, throw them at people who own expensive cars.

Just believe in yourself, because nobody else will do it for you.

If you just believe strong enough in your capabilities, it won't make much of a difference.

Wait, these aren`t funny...

Wait, these aren`t funny...

No, not funny, but certainly stupid.

Then this is the wrong forum, stupid things belong to the OT one ;)

hehe...stupid

he who sits in a glasshouse shouldnt point with others at fingers.

He who goes to bed with itchy bum awakes with stinky finger.

Yes, my thread has finally got alive (I hope)!
Never ask a member of the KKK if he could spare you fire!

Those who think this thread has merit, should enjoy lemons

Those who have 670 posts on an internet forum in less than three weeks, more outdoors he needs.

People who think proverbs must be expressed as if Yoda were saying them, stupid they are.

Those who have 670 posts on an internet forum in less than three weeks, more outdoors he needs.

You're hitting me at my weakest point!:)
I never post while being home, just at work.
Don't kill bees or there won't be any honey, or bees for that matter.

To make an omelette you need to go to a breakfast diner.

If your team loses, you should have had stayed the f**k out of the stadion.
The Chinese use the same word for "crisis" and "oppurtunity". Much less known is the fact that they also use the same word for "crap" and "Spongebob Squarepants Merchandises".
If life gives you lemons, buy some limonade because who still makes his own juice?

If you can't stand the heat, why did you turn your thermostat to 100?

Instead of drinking Diet Coke, drink regular one instead, because why bother? Do you actually think it will help you to lose weight, you obese swine?
(Works at best when saying that to a woman.)

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Then find someone whose life gave them vodka and throw a party!
-Ron White

Stupid stereotypes are my only source of amusement.
-A colorblind racist

Stupid stereotypes are my only source of amusement.
-A colorblind racist
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6733733575846933384&ei=iwqBSdaCKonWqQL35KTnCg&q=chappelle+clayton+bigsby

An over-used one:

Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for the day. Teach how to make a fire, and he will be warm for all the winters. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make a duck from it.

Woman who sits on judge's lap receives honourable discharge.

I've got more, but the mod's won't like them.

@Bigfoot: Thanks for the vid, man!:goodjob:
Another stupid proverb: Money is not everything in the world. But without money, everything sucks.

Do not jump at every oppurtunity for a better life. Hitler had an oppurtunity to take all of Europe... then . .. .. .. . happened.

If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep!

When I was born I was so surprised, I couldn't talk for a year and a half.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the previous administration.

A mind is a terrible thing to lose. Dan Quayle

Divide by zero

Money can't buy you everything. Well, actually, it can.

Who said money can't buy you love? Oh yeah, Lennon and McCartney. Like they'd know.

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day; Teach a man to fish, and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Wife who puts husband in doghouse soon will find him in cathouse.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Don't hate people, just because they're different from you. Just hate them if they're becoming too similiar to you.

Hell? Yeah, like there's any alternative to it!

All your need is your very own fantasy to lead an exciting and rich life. Oh, and yeah, you're gonna need a brain too.

"When God gives you lemons, then YOU FIND A NEW GOD"

"When God gives you lemons, then YOU FIND A NEW GOD"
from the Powerthirst commercial, right? :D

Scratch your ass and call it a day.

I'm neither pro-life nor pro-choice, I'm pro-shut-the-hell-up!

Having homosexual incest in church is a constitutional right? I don't think so, m'am.

I saw this in someone's signature:
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for a lifetime.

First time i read that i laughed so hard the teacher came over. Control-H!!

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. If aimed right.

You are going to lick my shiny, salty nuts. Wanna raisins with them?

When life gives you lemons, trade them for crack.

Every man is equal. Except Puerto Ricians of course.

The pen is mightier than the sword, except in nearly any normal circumstance.

Besides your ugliness and your retardedness, you seem like a nice woman.

Not all what glitters is THC crystals.

The police is your servant and your protector...if they like you.

When life gives you lemons, DON'T SCREW IT UP!

The pen is mightier than the sword, except in nearly any normal circumstance.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

(I have that one on my Steam profile :D)

Don't ask what your country can do for you, but what you can do to stop asking inconvenient questions.

The pen is mightier than the pencil. Except in space.

if life gives you opertunities wast them
if life gives tou lemons burn them
if your parents give you a crappy name make everyone call you by name

Wana do, ego sum.

if life gives tou lemons burn them
:nono: No no no, you've got it all wrong. If life gives you lemons, trade them for crack.


That's an eastsidebagel quote I believe:)

Yes. In fact, I sigged it.

When life gives you lemons, you should shut up and eat the damn lemons.
This only works in Dutch: Wie zijn kind benzine voert moet niet roken als het boert.

When life gives you lemons, question life's inability to understand your distaste for lemons.

When life gives you a lemon, make sure you ask for a fish too.

So when life gives you lemons you can either
a.) sell them for crack
b.) burn them
c.) question life's inability to understand your distaste for lemons
d.) ask for a fish
e.) shut up and eat
what a great selection.

too many choices
stupid f***'n lemons

When life gives you lemons, be still unsatisfied and ask for apples instead.

When life gives you crack, trade them for lemons.

:hide:

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them out into the eyes of your enemies! :D BUMP!

When life gives you lemons, choke on 'em and die. You stupid lemon eater.

/dilbert

If life gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS.

If life gives you AIDS, make lemonAIDS.
This is just ingenious!! :D :goodjob:

This is just ingenious!! :D :goodjob:
Unfortunately, I didn't make it up. It was made up by Jack Armstrong of the Armstrong and Getty show.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it up. It was made up by Jack Armstrong of the Armstrong and Getty show.
Yeah, but it's still nice.

Be a wolf: Seize the day by its throat!

If you need others to cheer you up, you're a failure!

She cheats on you, no matter how much you try to prevent it!

Seize the day so that it will give you all of its money.

Be a mighty gorilla: Don't wear pants.

No matter where you go, there was already somebody there, marking his territory.

Ran out of toilet paper in the middle of your seesion? Use your clothes instead, for hardly anybody will ever notice it when you do it everytime.

So when life gives you lemons you can either
a.) sell them for crack
b.) burn them
c.) question life's inability to understand your distaste for lemons
d.) ask for a fish
e.) shut up and eat
what a great selection.

I'm surprised you didn't have anything about garbage day on it.

But here's one
People who live in glass houses should only undress in the dark

I'm surprised you didn't have anything about garbage day on it.

But here's one
People who live in glass houses should only undress in the dark
Unless they're an attractive woman. Then they should wander around naked at all times, and turn the lights on when it's dark out.

Amen, brother.

Wouldn't they get raped or arrested or something?

So when life gives you lemons you can either
a.) sell them for crack
b.) burn them
c.) question life's inability to understand your distaste for lemons
d.) ask for a fish
e.) shut up and eat
what a great selection.
what a perfect time to quote the quote from my sig:

"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Assuming, of corse, that life also gives you sugar and water"- Stephan Colbert

I'm surprised you didn't have anything about garbage day on it.
I posted that in February, Garbage day didn't come until late March/ early April.:p

what a perfect time to quote the quote from my sig:

"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Assuming, of corse, that life also gives you sugar and water"- Stephan Colbert
You have immediately gained my respect, I love that show.:lol:

ditto Firestorm94

Wouldn't they get raped or arrested or something?
Be difficult to rape them in a glass house. Unless you don't much care about witnesses. Of course, if I the totally hypothetical person in question were to somehow distract people and make them go elsewhere, it could work.

As for getting arrested, well, cops arresting her for indecent exposure would obviously be the ones most likely to rape her, so I guess you're right.

New proverb:

The early bird catches the swine flu.

Or:

The early bird catches the swine flu first.

The solution to pollution is dilution. Stupid.

The early bird is the first to get shot.

"Tarkkana kuin porkkana" (observant as a carrot). Yes, that is an actual saying in my country... I guess we're not that observant people, since we never even took note of the fact that vegetables in general do not have a brain. :crazyeye:

Be difficult to rape them in a glass house. Unless you don't much care about witnesses. Of course, if I the totally hypothetical person in question were to somehow distract people and make them go elsewhere, it could work.

As for getting arrested, well, cops arresting her for indecent exposure would obviously be the ones most likely to rape her, so I guess you're right.

I'm fairly sure that a woman walking around completely naked is the most distracting thing you could find.

Two women walking around naked. Case closed.

Well, we're not the brightest crayons in the toolshed.

You have to whip a horse, you have to bridle a donkey, and you have to beat a fool.
Yay for cruelty! :beer: :king:

Be difficult to rape them in a glass house. Unless you don't much care about witnesses. Of course, if I the totally hypothetical person in question were to somehow distract people and make them go elsewhere, it could work.

As for getting arrested, well, cops arresting her for indecent exposure would obviously be the ones most likely to rape her, so I guess you're right.

What if she was wearing one of these:http://www.antirape.co.za/?

Discussing rape on a public forum? :thumbsdown:

Discussing rape on a public forum? :thumbsdown:

Do you not remember this? How could you have fallen so?

Gang rape is perfectly fine in my books.

I have nothing against gang rape. Regular rape is the real problem. :p

I have nothing against gang rape. Regular rape is the real problem. :p

How many different forms of irregular rape are there anyway?

69. date rape

If you can't stand the heat, why did you turn your thermostat to 100?
I'm sorry- phail.

That is actually a profound remark, IMHO.

It's an interesting one, that's for sure.

I see people turn up the heat and then complain all the time- I am often guilty myself.

(Breaking for lunch now.) An empty belly is like an empty fuel tank.

...Is that stupid enough?

LOL. (http://mistupid.com/jokes/page059.htm)

Here's one:

[wo]Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Ah, paraprosdokians? Quite funny, I must say.

Anyway,
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

Confucius says: He who is half-Asian is better than no Asian. (From my yearbook. :p)