Subject: Priceless

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over),
I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me,
"What's the hurry?"

I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop said "What.....a rectum stretcher, and what does a
rectum stretcher do?"

I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then
I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly
stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."

The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot
. .. .. .. .. .. .. .?"

I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on
top of a bridge..."

The ticket -- $95 dollars.

The look on his face, PRICELESS


Hmmm, I must try this one!

:rotfl:
:rotfl:
:rotfl:
:rotfl:
:rotfl:
:rotfl:
:rotfl:
That one is so funny it gets the approval of the rolling tower of smillies

:lol:

G-Man Your feeble :lol: is nothing compared to the rolling tower of smillies

Originally posted by Perfection
G-Man Your feeble :lol: is nothing compared to the rolling tower of smillies

Your worthless so called "tower" of inexpirienced underaged underpayed smilies is no match for my superior world famous smiley!

Now that was funny :goodjob:

Awesome reply :lol: That guy should get a reward :D

:) :D :lol: :rotfl:

Originally posted by G-Man


Your worthless so called "tower" of inexpirienced underaged underpayed smilies is no match for my superior world famous smiley!

Are you telling me you pay to use a smiley?

From the apparently true file:

*****
A snippet spotted in Pilot Magazine and entered in Bike Magazine:

The article was entitled "In a hurry are we, sir?" ( British Police Wit).

Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were out on the
Berwickshire moors with a radar gun recently, happily engaged in
apprehending speeding motorists, when their equipment suddenly
locked-up completely with an unexpected reading of well over 300 mph.
The mystery was explained seconds later as a low flying Harrier
hurtled over their heads. The boys in blue, upset at the damage to
their radar gun, put in a complaint to the RAF, but were somewhat
chastened when the RAF pointed out that the damage might well have
been more severe. The Harrier's target-seeker had locked on to
the'enemy' radar and triggered an automatic retaliatory air-to-surface
missile attack. Luckily(?) the Harrier was operating unarmed. *****

Gee Officer, sorry about your patrol car........
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Haha, thats a good way to beat the gatso's! Bomb em from on high! :rotfl:

HAHAHAHAHA

That'll teach 'em

Originally posted by Perfection
Are you telling me you pay to use a smiley?

The answer is in the CFC rule book, part XI, page 477, section 42, parapgraph 3, and I quote:
"3.ii.R) yes and/or no"

Lefty can probably explain it better ;)

:rolleyes:

Those are both pretty good.

Originally posted by Perfection
:rolleyes:

Whats your problem with G-Man?

:lol: I'm going to have to get HARMs installed on my car; that should teach the bastards. :lol:

Originally posted by Perfection
:rolleyes:

I was right, ofcource. Lefty did explain it to you, in the pictures thread :D

OK now I'm all confused :confused:

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
:lol: I'm going to have to get HARMs installed on my car; that should teach the bastards. :lol:

They have developed a sort-of laser that will let you disable a vehicle. It fires the laser to create a conductive line of air molecules in the atmosphere, then runs an electrical charge down it and overloads some electrically sensative parts on your car, like the ignition timing system or something.

Will probably be only available to police, and used only to stop reckless drivers, not speeders.

And now, to stay on topic...

A cop pulls over a lady, and she says "I suppose you pulled me over to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball."

To which he responds "Highway Patrolmen don't have balls."

She just looked innocent while he contemplated what he'd just said, and then got back in his car and drove off.

A cop pulls over a lady, and she says "I suppose you pulled me over to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball."

To which he responds "Highway Patrolmen don't have balls."

She just looked innocent while he contemplated what he'd just said, and then got back in his car and drove off.
:lol:
:lol:
:lol:

But I think we all knew that already.... ;)

Originally posted by Perfection
OK now I'm all confused :confused:

Very good! I wish I was that confused! My best composition are made when I'm confused (or drunk ;) )!