Time for creation.
Post here original funny stories or jokes, that you have written.







Special reward: If and when someone posts a story I find more or near as funny as the "I like monkeys" story, I will unsticky that thread.

Special reward: If and when someone posts a story I find more or near as funny as the "I like monkeys" story, I will unsticky that thread.
That's some kind of competition? And please tell me, why did you really stickied the monkey story. What has it what other things in H&J miss?

I think on the upcoming 5 year anniversary we need to unlock and sticky this legendary thread (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=84982).

I think hurricane names need to be scarier. Situations like Katrina happen because these people don't have the fear of God in their hearts. I suggest we start using the names of the Godzilla monsters.

Hurricane Rodan
Hurricane Mothra
Hurricane Destroyah
Hurricane Mecha King Ghidora

I actually performed this joke at an open mic comedy thing one time.

I thought I had a really good hurricane joke then, but I remembered that Kent Brockman said it. :(

That kind of makes this post pointless, doesn't it? :(

Mother: "I'm tired of cleaning up after you!"
Son: "I'm not tired of you cleaning up after me."

Joke I made up back in 2007 on CFC:

Neptune: Hey Pluto! Why is my backside so flat?
Pluto: Because Jupiter Saturn Uranus!

Joke I made up yesterday:

What tennis player always wears a hat?
Roger Fedora.

Back before 2006:

What's a Republican Senator's favorite game?

Pin the blame on the donkey!

:lol:...not really. :(

Here is an offensive, crude joke born in the middle of a conversation I had with someone, the jist of which boiled down to:

AIDS is a present best given unwrapped

It's better if you use it in context. And yes, a joke doesn't have to be funny :p.

Subscription post! :) Keep 'em coming, hehe.

Combining sayings is a dangerous thing. Why? Because if you combine:

"What goes around, comes around" with "Money makes the world go round" and "Money is the root of all evil", you get "The apocalypse is coming!" :run:

So I was walking through Grand Central Station when this conversation happened:

Preacher: Jesus Christ Loves you All!
Homeless Guy: Does that mean He's GAY?
Some Guy: Yeah, he's got about 3 billion gay lovers.

Preacher is embarrassed, cannot come up with witty excuse, and leaves in shame.

EDIT: The following, until the moderator post, no longer makes any sense whatsoever

:lol::lol::lol:

Never trust a doctor

:lol::lol::lol:

Never trust a doctor
More like never trust a pharmacy.

How the hell do you not know how to use Viagra? It's pretty common knowledge.

Most people never use it, so it's probably no that well-known

Most people never use it, so it's probably no that well-known
Most people never use cocaine either, but it's pretty well-known what you do with it. Viagra is as much a pop culture phenomenon as a medical one. I can think of two television shows - Mad About You and The Drew Carey Show - just off the top of my head that have had episodes centred around it. And I don't watch either. Not to mention the commercials.

A friend just reblogged this off one of his friends (apparently a true story)


The downside of adding your auntie on Facebook. (a phone call between her and my mum)

* Aunt: Right, I don't want you to get worried but I think Neil is in a bad way.
* Mum: What? Why?
* Aunt: I saw his facebook status and I thought I should tell you.
* Mum: Oh no, what did it say?
* Aunt: It said "I got in one little fight and my mom got scared"
* Mum: Oh no! But he never said anything! Is he ok?
* Aunt: I don't know. But I thought you should know. He might be inured.
* Mum: I'm going to call him. This is terrible.

recall that "sexually oriented" is barred at CFC

Point taken - there you are, a good reason why it isn't stickied

Oh crud. Sorry!

2 cents retracted.

:)

Combining sayings is a dangerous thing. Why? Because if you combine:

"What goes around, comes around" with "Money makes the world go round" and "Money is the root of all evil", you get "The apocalypse is coming!" :run:

See the following:

We all know that girls require time and money:

Girls = Time * Money

And since we all know time is money:

Time = Money

Therefore:

Girls = Money * Money = (Money)²

And because money is the root of all evil:

Money = √Evil
Therefore:

Girls = (√Evil)²
And we are forced to conclude that:

Girls = Evil

I've seen that before; its not original.

I found it on the .net a few weeks back. You don't hink I'd write something like that, do you?

I found it on the .net a few weeks back. You don't hink I'd write something like that, do you?
look at the thread title ORIGINAL material. :shake:

Sorry; I don't do reading...

See the following:

We all know that girls require time and money:

Girls = Time * Money

And since we all know time is money:

Time = Money

Therefore:

Girls = Money * Money = (Money)²

And because money is the root of all evil:

Money = √Evil
Therefore:

Girls = (√Evil)²
And we are forced to conclude that:

Girls = Evil

That is a very old one, and not all that good.

Requiring and equaling are not the same thing.

Money isn't the root of all evil, the LOVE OF money (probably better translated as just Greed or Desire, as money is a fairly abstract concept and anything people desire and thus can trade can be called money) is a root of all [kinds of] evil.