In this thread, post funny science jokes, humorous scientific concepts, and other weird and funny science-related stuff.

Let me start by posting hERG (human Ether-à-go-go (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HERG#The_name) Related Gene)

and arsole (http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/sillymolecules/sillymols.htm). It's structure is this:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/47/Arsole.png/100px-Arsole.png

Lame math pun:
http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/comics/irreg2317.png

Looking forward to seeing more funny, science related stuff. Because even science has a sense of humor. :D

http://www.meikathon.net/roflmao/humerus.jpg

I found that humerus.

With regard to arsole, does the relatively large van der Waals radius of arsenic lead to increased ring strain?

And finally, what's the funniest item of glassware in the lab?

the comical flask

I found that humerus.
No, I found it! :mad:

If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

http://arxiv.org/abs/0903.5321

Great ones guys. :)

http://arxiv.org/abs/0903.5321

Is that meant to be serious?

Anyway,
Don't lend money to geologists, because a million years ago is recent to them.

x5yPkxCLads

Q: What's the difference between Max Factor and Quantum Theorist?
A: Max Factor has models that work.
:cringe:

The physics student comes to the university with a new bike and meets his friends, students of mathematics and informatics. "Where did you get that cool new bike?" they ask him. And he says: "I walked to the university and there was this young female student on that bike. She jumped off, took all her clothes off and said to me, that I could have anything I want from her!"
His friends say: "Good choice. Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Is that meant to be serious?


no chance

Just a blog (http://www.ncbirofl.com/) about NCBI research papers with weird topics.

Brownian motion?

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/barrel_cropped_(1).jpg


A tenet of Biology. :sigh:
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/advanced_technology.png


Human Evolution.
http://www.martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/oct2006/human_01.jpg
http://weblog.sinteur.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/evolution.jpg
http://thechive.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/evolution-cartoon-photos-26.jpg

Darwin's Voyage:
(not really funny)
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/cgo0099l.jpg

Quantum Physics:
http://th.physik.uni-frankfurt.de/~jr/gif/cartoon/SM20.GIF

Bias in data interpretation:
http://th.physik.uni-frankfurt.de/~jr/gif/cartoon/cart0191.jpg

Thermodynamics:
http://science.nayland.school.nz/SimonPa/images/7513_physics_cartoon.gif

http://weblog.sinteur.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/evolution.jpg
Not bad. :lol:

http://content.ytmnd.com/content/2/e/b/2eb8e5248b640a1038e1acec1c62930f.gif

Belgian Mentos+Coke brigade (~1500 bottles!)

http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/wiredscience/images/2008/04/25/cokeb_2.jpg



FYI: http://www.bizzia.com/files/169/2006/10/Kari_Byton_mentos.jpg

Mentos (a candy that contains ) in a carbonated (submerged carbon dioxide) soda causes an explosion of gas, due to its effect on the surface tenseion of the mixture and pits on the surface of the candy helping to nucleate the carbon dioxide into large bubbles. The larger bubbles escape the liquid swiftly, creating much pressure as they do---hence an explosion of gas. It's best if the carbonated liquid is relatively pure---so sugar free is recommended.

According to a Mythbusters' episode, aspartame specifically contributes to overall explosive potential of the released CO2. Same for caffeine and sodium benzoate (common soda preservative). Sodium benzoate is an acid so probably it's providing some gas as well.

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w152/adria_pics/Sigs%20Avatars/limits.jpg

A t-shirt I've wanted since the first time I saw it (front/back):
http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/schrodingerscat_ladies.jpghttp://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/back/shrodingerscat_ladies.jpg

That limits example is pretty cruel (at least for a first time student).

I recommend this book (Elephants on acid (http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/top/experiments/)), if you like science and fun.

:)

9k_oKK4Teco

p2HipedgM3I

Uh... (http://pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/ic0352250)

Also, this.
http://abstrusegoose.com/strips/high_energy_biology.PNG

http://files.galador.org/pics/ferrous_wheel.jpg

http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/comics/irreg2348.jpg (http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/2348.html)

One of my favorites. ;)

http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/3/8/862671/Eulerjoke.JPG

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pte2XO66Nwg/RqML4gUf_II/AAAAAAAAA9k/oOW86-yoKh4/s400/girls_are_evil.gif

you probably have seen this or think its uscientific, but its still funny

http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/8159/brokengravity.tif
http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/8082/milevasrelatives.tif
http://img36.imageshack.us/img36/934/michelsonmorley.tif

Some Gary Larson...
http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/1135/garylarsonsthefarside.gif

http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/6439/garylarsonbrain1.jpg

Five haikus on dopamine (http://scienceblogs.com/neurotopia/2009/08/poem_of_the_day_5.php).

I. O fair dopamine
wondrous molecule, so cool
even gets you high.

II. Reward, punishment
in dopamine highs and lows
a complete package

III. Tasty dopamine
the umami of my brain
why can't you hate carbs?

IV. Feel the pleasure and
the pain, wrong motivation
dopamine, habit

V. "Neurotransmission"
sad how these long science words
will ruin haikus

The CERN rap:

CERN rap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j50ZssEojtM)

What goes on in a drug industry project meeting (http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/2009/08/07/how_a_real_drug_industry_project_meeting_goes.php# comments).

An excerpt from the comments, detailing some participants of said meeting:
1. The Project Leader--s/he doesn't understand the purpose of the meeting but insists on trying to run it

2. The Marketing Dept Team Member--always asking for a product with no side effects and tremendous potency, wondering why the clinical data isn't already collected

3. The Finance Dept Team Member--"What, you want to spend money? How dare you!"

4. The Project Manager--Only in the pharmaceutical industry do we staff our teams with Project Leaders (who often have PhDs in chemistry or biology and never have had any experience with clinical development or life-cycle management of a drug after it's approved) and Project Managers (glorified producers of meeting minutes who often are MDs without much understanding of medicine or drug development) to assure that the team is moving forward with its work. Of course, the Project Manager is often so distraught when the team begins missing its deliverables schedule that countless additional team meetings are called to review and discuss why the team is increasingly behind schedule. Time to be concerned: when the meetings get scheduled every twice a day. By then, the meetings last two hours (often with a VP in evidence to berate the team's lack of performance), and team members need more than two hours to prepare PowerPoint slides detailing what work they couldn't complete by the time of the next meeting and what would be a "reasonable schedule" for the completion of the required work.

5. The Clinical Lead--"There's not enough drug supply."

6. Toxicologist--'This drug looks like the one we did last year which grew cancers in every organ"

A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician each awake to discover that a small fire has started in their house.

The physicist fills a bucket with water, pours it on the fire, putting it out.

The engineer grabs a calculator from under his pillow, calculates furiously, then pours a precisely calculated amount of water onto a precisely calculated point on the floor, putting out the fire.

The mathematician concludes the fire can be put out, and goes back to bed.

Another mathematician/fire joke:

A math professor enters his office one morning to discover that someone has placed his waste paper basket on his desk and lit the contents on fire. Not being stupid, he quickly grabs a fire extinguisher and quenches the fire.

The next day, he comes back to find the waste paper basket on the floor, again lit on fire. Thinking quickly, he grabs the basket by the edge and lifts it onto the desk; satisfied at having reduced the problem to a form with a known solution, he grabs his lecture notes and heads out to the first class of the day.

Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person nows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math.
The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer "one third x cubed."

She repeats "one thir -- dex cue"?
He repeats "one third x cubed".
She asks, "one thir dex cuebd?"
"Yes, that's right," he says.
So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, "one thir dex cuebd...".

The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks "what is the integral of x squared?".
The waitress says "one third x cubed" and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder "plus a constant!"

:lol:

Contributing.

Socks are fermions. (http://blogs.scienceforums.net/swansont/archives/3411)

I have come to the conclusion that socks are fermions, and that this explains much of the behavior of disappearing socks. (There may be other factors at play, of course) Clearly they are not bosons; you cannot make two socks occupy the same space: Put two socks on the same foot and they wll be layered, and there is a finite number you can fit into a washing machine or a dryer. Socks worn in the normal fashion are distinguishable by being on the left or right foot (or hand, in the case of the sock puppet effect; I won’t be discussing the very interesting Lamb-Chop-shift one can observe). The individual socks in a pair, however, are indistinguishable and they must have an antisymmetric wave function and thus obey Fermi-Dirac statistics and follow the Pauli exclusion principle.

Put two socks comprising a pair into the wash and occasionally only one will be there at the end of the cycle. Why? Two socks can clearly exist in a system, thus there must be at least two sock states. Let’s assume two, making them sock spin one-half states, and call these “sock up” and “sock down” (and not confuse this with the sock-it-to-me state, the investigation of which was popular in the late 60s)

The socks are in the dryer system and one of them is sock-up with the other being sock-down, in perfect accordance with the Pauli exclusion principle. However, occasionally there will be an interaction with the dryer (I call this the argyle sock-flip interaction, which should be mediated by the Lint boson) which is very strong; the socks cannot remain confined to the dryer, and one sock is expelled by the degenerate Fermi sock pressure. This is seen more at high temperatures where the thermodynamic pressure is also high, and where the containment of the dryer is insufficient. This can also happen with socks in a hamper or clothes pile, but since there is no true confinement, one might just see that the socks have migrated elsewhere in the room, or be on the lip of the hamper (or floor next to it); this is enough to break any possible degeneracy in the sock states.

This expulsion can be by tunneling, in which case the sock may be found nearby; often covered in residual lint from the interaction. It is also possible that the sock is simply disintegrated; sockiness may not be a strictly conserved quantity, or there may be a sock one-half particle (the socktrino) that is ejected while the rest of the sock is carried off as Lintons, some of which may be captured in the lint tray. High energy Lintons would escape and disintegrate into Dustyons in the surrounding region. Clearly there is some more theoretical and experimental work to be done here to confirm the existence of the socktrino; some holes in the theory must be darned and most facilities are not up to the task of detecting this signal amidst the large background lint and dust signals.

More complicated behaviors exist as well, in the guise of condensed-sockmatter physics. What if one were to place more than two identical socks into the wash? This is clearly an important avenue of investigation; procuring multiple pairs of identical socks allows one to combat the prevalence of sock loss and the resulting uselessness of the remaining sock. There is also the advantage in the pairing of the socks afterward, because, interestingly, free socks tend to repel in the clean-clothes pile of multiple paris of different sock patterns, and considerable work must be done to decrease their entropy. (There is some very interesting behavior to investigate here, as well, but sock-sorting dynamics is beyond the scope of this discussion). With multiple pairs of identical socks in the dryer, a band structure is now formed to lift the degeneracy of the individual socks, reducing the strength of the argyle sock-flip by the apathy factor (measured in Mehs), which scales with the number of socks, which makes the loss of any one sock less important. Whether this scaling is linear is as yet undetermined.

Clearly this is a very rich field of further inquiry for the budding scientist hoping to get his or her work published in the esteemed Journal of Irreproducible Results. There is the very exciting prospect of investigating a four-sock interaction to see if one can make two socks disappear, and see if there is a sharp division between the individual quantum and the condensed-sockmatter reactions. If adequate funding could be procured, one might also envision the construction of a sockcellerator, to look at higher-energy sock interactions to investigate the vector and scalar nature of the lint boson and to pursue the detection of evidence for the socktrino.

:bump:

http://www.scholarsandrogues.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/carbonfreesugar.jpeg

What does the asterisk say?

*See back panel for details

Carbon free sugar? Hmm...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/44/RochePotential.jpg/800px-RochePotential.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roche_lobe)

Cool. It's the formula to draw Speed Racer.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

(Spotted on a CafePress T-shirt.)

Speaking of T-Shirts, here is one I saw:

"Johnny was The Chemist's son, but Johnny is no more. What Johnny thought was H2O was H2SO4."

"How to get across a cliff"
http://i.somethingawful.com/u/garbageday/2009/Comedy_Goldmine/JOman_20XX_01.png


Equation (and graph) for optimal urinal packing, avoiding the awkwardness of peeing in the next urinal to another guy.
http://imgs.xkcd.com/blag/urinals/urinals4.png
http://imgs.xkcd.com/blag/urinals/urinals7.png

Most optimal (peaks of graph).
http://imgs.xkcd.com/blag/urinals/urinals5.png

Least optimal (troughs of graph).
http://imgs.xkcd.com/blag/urinals/urinals6.png

Full details and discussion here (http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/09/02/urinal-protocol-vulnerability/).


"If Hollywood Taught Science Class"
Ionizing, non-ionizing, it's all good.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/1/4/2514.jpg?v=1

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/8/3/2583.jpg?v=1

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/1/9/2519.jpg?v=1

Hollywood med school.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/3/3/2533.jpg?v=1

Also goes for anime.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/0/3/2503.jpg?v=1

Computer hacking 101.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/2/0/2520.jpg?v=1

Screw conservation of momentum.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/4/9/9/2499.jpg?v=1

Classical mechanics question on physics final.
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/0/5/2505.jpg?v=1

Does this work?
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/photoshop/5/3/5/2535.jpg?v=1


http://abstrusegoose.com/strips/s_matrix.PNG

:bump:

Scientifically accurate product warning labels. (http://komplexify.com/epsilon/2009/05/13/a-call-for-more-scientific-truth-in-product-warning-labels/)

CAUTION:
The mass of this product contains the energy equivalent of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce of weight.

People have a right to know the rest mass energy of the objects they handle, among other things.


Somewhat amusing cartoon (http://www.scq.ubc.ca/polio.pdf) about the history of polio.

How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker on his bumper, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."


Heisenberg was driving down the Autobahn whereupon he was pulled over by a policeman. The policeman asked, "Do you know how fast you were going back there? Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."


Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

The file you need
might be very useful.
But now it is gone

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.


Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.


With one foot in a bucket of ice water, and one foot in a bucket of boiling water, you are, on the average, comfortable.


People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.


One day, e^x sees x^2 running down the street in a panic.
"What's wrong?" asks e^x.
"There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him too many times, I'll disappear!"
"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry about me -- he can't hurt me. After all, I'm e^x."
So e^x walks down the street to the Differential Operator. "My friend tells me you're a Differential Operator," e^x says pompously. "Well, I'm e^x."
"Pleased to meet you, e^x," says the Differential Operator. "I'm d/dt.”


A plane is flying from Warsaw to Paris. The pilot announces that they are passing over Rotterdam, and the world's largest container ship is visible out of the windows on the right side.

POOF! The plane disappears in mid air- no trace of it is ever found.

A later analysis revealed that all the Poles had moved into the right half-plane.

How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?
He has a red sticker on his bumper, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."
No matter how many times I read it, it's still funny. :goodjob:

One day, e^x sees x^2 running down the street in a panic.
"What's wrong?" asks e^x.
"There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him too many times, I'll disappear!"
"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry about me -- he can't hurt me. After all, I'm e^x."
So e^x walks down the street to the Differential Operator. "My friend tells me you're a Differential Operator," e^x says pompously. "Well, I'm e^x."
"Pleased to meet you, e^x," says the Differential Operator. "I'm d/dt.”


A plane is flying from Warsaw to Paris. The pilot announces that they are passing over Rotterdam, and the world's largest container ship is visible out of the windows on the right side.

POOF! The plane disappears in mid air- no trace of it is ever found.

A later analysis revealed that all the Poles had moved into the right half-plane.
I suck for not getting these, but still I must ask.

I suck for not getting these, but still I must ask.

Hidden to not spoil it for everyone.
Differentiation is often notated d/dx, using x for variables in equations. Take x^2, diff once and you get 2x. Do it again you get 2. Do it again you get 0. The derivative d/dx of e^x is e^x, completely unchanged. If you take d/dt e^x though, you get 0.

In control theory, a function is unstable if the poles of it's transfer function are imaginary, and when we plot these the real part is on the left half plane, and the imaginary is on the right half plane.

That second one is just really advanced mathematics (from my frame of reference). That's hardly fair. :gripe:

That second one is just really advanced mathematics (from my frame of reference). That's hardly fair. :gripe:

I wouldn't call it really advanced. Control theory hasn't really changed since the 50's, and any Electrical Engineer should have taken the class as an undergrad. I wouldn't expect the general population to get the joke, but the thread title is Science Humor.

More humor:

Next time someone asks you what's new, say c over Lambda. (Nu=c/L where Greek letter Nu stands for frequency, c is the speed of light, and L is wavelength. Works best as a verbal joke)


A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"


Three percent exceeds 2 percent by 50 percent, not by 1 percent.


Win·dows
Noun.
A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit operating system originally coded for a four-bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition.


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.


If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways: Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Unix Airlines: You walk out to the runway and they give you a box of tools and some airplane parts. The passengers form into groups and start building twelve different planes.

Air DOS: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines: All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air: The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. This has spawned a huge magazine industry dedicated to customer survival, which eclipses all other aero magazines on the newsagent's shelf and ensures saturation advertising for the airline.

Windows NT Air: Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air: Having booked your flight, if you change your luggage you have to book a new seat. There is no refund. After flying for an hour the plane lands. The aeroplane is upgraded and the flight resumes. This happens again every hour. After a few hours, you are told that the plane cannot be upgraded further and you have to book a seat on a brand new, more expensive plane. There is no refund.

Linux Line: Disgruntled employees of all the other airlines decide to start their own. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the tickets, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of SEAT-HOWTO.HTML. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem; the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do *what* with the seat?"

RISCOS Airways: You thought this British airline long dead and are amazed to discover they are still in business - flying many types of airplane from several manufacturers. The seats are classic and the staff are a likeable but sometimes limited bunch (they are obviously not paid enough). The plane flies fast and easy. You try to tell your friends about the great trip, but they all pretend to be deaf.

BeOS Air: Well-organized, comfortable, reliable, safe, fast. Great! If only they flew your route.
Then there are the Feeder Lines...

Palm Am: Cool and stylish image, but the decor is a bit cheap when you look closely. Don't think of flying far or carrying more than your lunch box.

WinCE Air: Hyped as Windows Air in a smaller plane, but flew v-e-r-y s-l-o-w and soon ran out of gas, landing you in a ploughed field. And there wasn't even room for your lunchbox. Now re-branded as Air Pocket.

Symbian Air Services: The Flying EPOC Line was started by a British aircraft manufacturer, rebranded, bought into by a multinational syndicate and is now the biggest in Europe. It gets you there in style, providing its own airport bus to sync with Windows Air's schedule better than Air Pocket does. Some planes even show in-flight movies. But your friends have all gone deaf again.

I wouldn't call it really advanced. Control theory hasn't really changed since the 50's, and any Electrical Engineer should have taken the class as an undergrad. I wouldn't expect the general population to get the joke, but the thread title is Science Humor.
Fine, not advanced. But I doubt I'm going to study it.


2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
Only the SCAM supporters say that. :p


Three percent exceeds 2 percent by 50 percent, not by 1 percent.
I guess it helps to distinguish between percentage and percentage points.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20090830.gif
/
/
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20090828.gif

Helicase. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=helicase)

one of my favorites:

In the physicist heaven, they decide to play tag and Einstein is counting. They all run to hide except Newton who is staying a few meters from einstein...
While counting (45...46...47...), Einstein sees that Newton is drawing something on the ground. When the count is up (50!!!), Albert move to Isaac, standing on his very beautiful square shape drawing.
Albert: Tag, you're it!!!
Isaac: I don't think so!!!
Albert: what do you mean, Isaac? You're not protected while being in that shape.
Isaac: No, but i'm a Newton on 1 square meter...you caught Pascal!!!

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w152/adria_pics/Sigs%20Avatars/limits.jpg
I know you're not going to believe this, but here goes anyway...

(a bit of introduction so this thing makes sense)
When I had my final highschool exams, something that's notoriously difficult in this country, I had to take them earlier than normal, as they were overlapping with my uni-admission exams, and so I ended up in the "special session" together with a bunch of very well-prepared sportsmen who were having their international olympiads in the same time as their exams, and therefore also needed to take them earlier in order to be able to participate. You must imagine that those guys are literally the biggest persons you can find around here, as some of them were going at the olympiads for boxing, body-building, polo, etc - but obviously, many of them spending so much time on their daily training, they were on average not exactly geniuses in science and culture... (to say the least)

Anyway, one of those guys heard that a good part of the mathematics-as-a-secondary-subject exam had answer variants, and figured it would be easier to cheat/copy, so he picked that. So what happens next?

His paper was corrected, and copied by some teachers and published in a magazine, as his answer to one of the questions without answer variants was...

A horizontal 7!!! :rotfl:

Just like in your picture, only that it was a 7 and not a 5...

Yes. I'm serious.

:bump:

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary, those that do and those that dont.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_QYd_pItgxVM/SsIxR3eSWmI/AAAAAAAAE_o/oKyIE-e4EoE/s400/Scientific+Tattoos+13.jpg

Due to this picture, I think it would be fun to make real words only based from letters from the Periodic table. There have already had a few done in the Funny picture thread, but this is a better place for that type of humour.

well i do seem to have started something here, ive got some more,

[Pr][O][Cr][As][Ti][Na][Ti][O][N]
praseodymium, oxygen, chromium, arsenic, titanium, sodium, titanium, oxygen, nitrogen

[N][O][N][Re][P][Re][Se][N][Ta][Ti][O][N][Al]

nitrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, rhenium, phosphorus, rhenium, selenium, nitrogen, tantalum, titanium, oxygen, nitrogen, aluminum

Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium ;-)

F Am O U S
Am Er I Ca N

Omni
Oxygen
Manganese
Iodine

and whlist im here
http://www.planetdeusex.com/features/illumination/13/elements.gif

http://fc06.deviantart.com/fs50/f/2009/306/c/e/Time_Travel_by_Nocturnal_Devil.jpg

Hey, I've always thought about that! :D

Although he would die before he would have the time to asphyxiate... The pressure of his body is way higher than the pressure around him (0) therefore his body would act like a balloon in a vacuum - e.g. explode.

Hey, I've always thought about that! :D

You know what *I've* always thought? People who are out of phase and can move through walls should drop down to the core of the earth (and die). It's ridiculous how they can easily move through elevator doors willy-nilly, but they can't move through the elevator floor.

Although he would die before he would have the time to asphyxiate... The pressure of his body is way higher than the pressure around him (0) therefore his body would act like a balloon in a vacuum - e.g. explode.

That would result in slightly less funniness for the panel set up, as well as a disgusting gore :p

Although he would die before he would have the time to asphyxiate... The pressure of his body is way higher than the pressure around him (0) therefore his body would act like a balloon in a vacuum - e.g. explode.

No, the body is built to withstand 1 bar of pressure difference. It would swell, and over time that would be quite painful, but asphyxiation will be a problem much sooner than any other vaccum related danger.


The problem with the time machine is even worse: even if you correct for the position, the results would still be very gory, as your velocity would quite probably not match the velocity of the place you time travelled to.

Another thing is that because the universe is always expanding then if you go back in time you'll be in a different spot all-together since where you were originally has expanded further away from the center of the universe.

You know what *I've* always thought? People who are out of phase and can move through walls should drop down to the core of the earth (and die). It's ridiculous how they can easily move through elevator doors willy-nilly, but they can't move through the elevator floor.
I've always applied suspension of disbelief to that one, since any book/movie that contains people moving through walls is either not meant to be realistic (superhero stories, comedies), or entirely stupid. I just assumed they can "decide" what they want to move through, otherwise it would be impossible to interact with the outside world (try opening that door when your hand goes right through it :p). So I figured "they don't fall to the center of the earth" (or at least to the lower floor) because they can control what matter they want to go through.

Likewise, I found the existence of wormholes that don't need continuous energy to be maintained open extremely stupid, since you can eeaaaasily make a perpetuum mobile out of them (put the "exit" exactly above the "entrance", and gravity will give you a perpetual "falling" movement). But again, I just applied suspension of disbelief.

No, the body is built to withstand 1 bar of pressure difference. It would swell, and over time that would be quite painful, but asphyxiation will be a problem much sooner than any other vaccum related danger.
I didn't know that, sorry that I posted something wrong. I thought it was way more than the body can take. Not sure where I took that from. Possibly from the "fun experiments" with balloons at low pressure that I saw on TV.

I've always applied suspension of disbelief to that one, since any book/movie that contains people moving through walls is either not meant to be realistic (superhero stories, comedies), or entirely stupid. I just assumed they can "decide" what they want to move through, otherwise it would be impossible to interact with the outside world (try opening that door when your hand goes right through it :p). So I figured "they don't fall to the center of the earth" (or at least to the lower floor) because they can control what matter they want to go through.

That still doesn't work and you'll still need suspension of disbelief. Most of these situation where these people find themselves out of phase, they could alert everyone to their presence by doing what you said: "deciding". But they're always stranded and hope that the others figure out that they're still alive while watching hopelessly.

Likewise, I found the existence of wormholes that don't need continuous energy to be maintained open extremely stupid, since you can eeaaaasily make a perpetuum mobile out of them (put the "exit" exactly above the "entrance", and gravity will give you a perpetual "falling" movement). But again, I just applied suspension of disbelief.

Ah, so you prefer the Stargate artificial wormholes and not the Star Trek natural wormholes. ;)

That still doesn't work and you'll still need suspension of disbelief. Most of these situation where these people find themselves out of phase, they could alert everyone to their presence by doing what you said: "deciding". But they're always stranded and hope that the others figure out that they're still alive while watching hopelessly.



Ah, so you prefer the Stargate artificial wormholes and not the Star Trek natural wormholes. ;)
I was thinking that as well. In Star Trek: The Next Generation, Geordi and someone else (Troi?) were actually out of phase on a starship. Why didn't they fall through into space, and asphyxiate? They didn't choose to be out of phase, they desperately wanted be back in phase, but had a reaction to a secret Romulan cloaking device experiment.

And Stargate > Star Trek. ;)

I was thinking that as well. In Star Trek: The Next Generation, Geordi and someone else (Troi?) were actually out of phase on a starship. Why didn't they fall through into space, and asphyxiate? They didn't choose to be out of phase, they desperately wanted be back in phase, but had a reaction to a secret Romulan cloaking device experiment.

And Stargate > Star Trek. ;)

They had one like that in season 3 of Stargate too.

And to the Star Trek one, not exactly like that. Because of artificial gravity they'd end up stuck within the floor with their torsos and heads sticking up... and they wouldn't be able to move either since anything that gives them propulsion requires touch.

They had one like that in season 3 of Stargate too.

And to the Star Trek one, not exactly like that. Because of artificial gravity they'd end up stuck within the floor with their torsos and heads sticking up... and they wouldn't be able to move either since anything that gives them propulsion requires touch.
I was assuming that being out of phase would even effect their reaction to gravity, but you're right. So it was even more wrong than I originally thought.

Stargate actually had two of those episodes, there was one in season 9 as well. There were plenty of others with invisibility, but that makes a hell of a lot more sense.

I stopped reading at "season 9"... I'm up to the end of season 3 and I am a spoiler-phobia person :)

I fail to get the humor of the last 10 posts...

Oh, there isn't any. Now for something completly different...

From the public, his discovery brought cheers.
From his wife, it drew nothing but torrents of tears.
"For you see," said Ms. Halley,
"He used to come daily;
Now he comes once every 70 years!"

I stopped reading at "season 9"... I'm up to the end of season 3 and I am a spoiler-phobia person :)
Ah. The show doesn't start to get really good until the last few seasons. Of course, in their infinite wisdom, that's when Sci-Fi cancelled it.

:bump:


Physical theories as women
By Simon Dedeo



0. Newtonian gravity is your high-school girlfriend. As your first encounter with physics, she's amazing. You will never forget Newtonian gravity, even if you're not in touch very much anymore.

1. Electrodynamics is your college girlfriend. Pretty complex, you probably won't date long enough to really understand her.

2. Special relativity is the girl you meet at the dorm party while you're dating electrodynamics. You make out. It's not really cheating because it's not like you call her back. But you have a sneaking suspicion she knows electrodynamics and told her everything.

3. Quantum mechanics is the girl you meet at the poetry reading. Everyone thinks she's really interesting and people you don't know are obsessed about her. You go out. It turns out that she's pretty complicated and has some issues. Later, after you've broken up, you wonder if her aura of mystery is actually just confusion.

4. General relativity is your high-school girlfriend all grown up. Man, she is amazing. You sort of regret not keeping in touch. She hates quantum mechanics for obscure reasons.

5. Quantum field theory is from overseas, but she doesn't really have an accent. You fall deeply in love, but she treats you horribly. You are pretty sure she's fooling around with half of your friends, but you don't care. You know it will end badly.

6. Cosmology is the girl that doesn't really date, but has lots of hot friends. Some people date cosmology just to hang out with her friends.

7. Analytical classical mechanics is a bit older, and knows stuff you don't.

8. String theory is off in her own little world. She is either profound or insane. If you start dating, you never see your friends anymore. It's just string theory, 24/7.

A story from good old Oxford uni - from a friend of a friend but with every assurance its true:

A drunk chemist (is there any other kind?) staggering home but stopping long enough to inform the policemen standing next to their car that the Thames Valley slogan 'Reducing Crime, Disorder and Fear' was wrong because it contradicts the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Apparently they tried to arrest him - you'd think they'd be used to this kind of thing!

(word for word from the facebook message)

I can't say I've ever seen them use that slogan.

:bump:
http://asset.soup.io/asset/0599/6992_4709_500.jpeg

How about an article? Can a biologist fix a radio? (http://protein.bio.msu.ru/biokhimiya/contents/v69/pdf/bcm_1403.pdf)

Not just bacon, the bacon (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrocodeinone_enol_acetate).

Two atoms bump into each other. One says "I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?", to which the first replies, "I'm positive."

A neutron walks into a bar and ask how much for a drink. The bartender looks at him and says "For you, no charge"

Werner Heisenberg get's pulled over by a police officer.
"Do you know how fast you were going?", the officer asks.
Heisenberg replies "no, but I know where I was going"

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. Before the next one can order, the bartender says, "You're all idiot," and pours two beers.
--
A chemist, a physicist and a biologist are walking along the beach. The physicist stops, looks out at the ocean and says "I just have to understand the motion of the waves better" and walks into the sea and never returns. The biologist looks out to the sea and says "I just have to understand the sea creatures better" and walks out into the ocean and never returns. The chemist pulls out a notebook and writes "Physicist and biologist both soluble."
--
Why don't jokes work in base 8? Because 7 10 11.
--
A bar walks into a commutative algebraist. (this is my favourite)

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight.

The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had 20 knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.

When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
--
e^x is at a party, just chilling by himself.
2x comes along and says "Come on man! Join the party! Integrate with us!"
e^x says "It won't make any difference"

Two professors went to a bar.

Prof 1: I want some H2O!
Prof 2: I want some H2O too!

Prof 2 died.
--
Some helium floats into a bar and the bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
The helium doesn't react.

e^x is at a party, just chilling by himself.
2x comes along and says "Come on man! Join the party! Integrate with us!"
e^x says "It won't make any difference"


It will add an arbitrary constant.

I like the joke with the two professors. :lol:

Great post Omni! :thumbsup:

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight.

The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had 20 knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.

When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Can't believe I read all of that for such a terrible pun :lol:

Yeah, that one belongs in the Horrible puns thread.

Thermotoga is a genus of bacteria that live in very hot environments. Also, they wear a toga.
http://wwwuser.gwdg.de/~appmibio/Abbildungen/thermotoga3.jpg

For anyone who does not know the Niels Bohr/Barometer anecdote:


The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:

"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.

On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l / g)."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

It is told, that the student was Niels Bohr, who later received the Nobel prize for Physics.

I've heard that, but not with Niels Bohr.

Stephen Hawking is going to publish a new book. It's about time.

Stephen Hawking is going to publish a new book. It's about time.

are you refering to this one that i got for christmas?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2H678lfVmHc/TPo15BHF2uI/AAAAAAAABAI/qBD33Kyp0qE/s1600/grand+design.jpg

or is this a joke about Stephen Hawkings typing speed, which if you think about it is extraordinarily fast

yeah you try typing with one eye muscle and you see how fast he can type

i think it's a pun on "it's about time"

Meaning the subject of the book is time or "it's about time he wrote a new book"

Too bad it can't be properly translated in french

this is brilliant:

http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/rooter.pdf

(Sen. Vreenak knows what's up though)

the cool part is that it was generated autonomously

No matter how many times I read it, it's still funny. :goodjob:


I suck for not getting these, but still I must ask.

The first joke:

x^2 is scared of differential operator because he will be turned to 0 if he runs into him 3 times. e^x doesn't mind because the derivative of it is just e^x - the same thing. So e^x walks up arrogantly to the differential operator, only to discover that it differentiates with respect to t (d/dt), and d/dt (e^x) = 0 (assuming x and t are unrelated)

An engineer, biologist and mathematician are sitting in a bar. They see two people go into a house across the street and a few minutes later observe three people come out.
"There was already one person in the house," says the engineer
"Whilst they were inside they must have reproduced," counters the biologist
"If one more person goes in the house will be empty," proclaims the mathematician

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w152/adria_pics/Sigs%20Avatars/limits.jpg

That's actually incorrect (the first one, I mean). The two sided limit approaches +infinity from the right side and -infinity from the left, so it does not exist. You'd have to put lim (x -> 8+) in order to make it work.

Sorry for being a killjoy! Here's are a few science joke(s) of my own to compensate:

Werner Heisenberg is doing 90 down a residential road when he is pulled over by a cop.

The cop says, "Sir, did you realize that you are driving at 90 mph on a residential road?"

Heisenberg replies, "Sir, if I knew where I was I wouldn't know how fast I was going - and if I knew how fast I was going I wouldn't know where I was!"

Why are scientists horrible in bed?
Because when they get the right position, they can't get the right velocity, and when they get the right velocity, they can't get the right position!

It is purple and it commutes.
An abelian grape.

Descarte walks into a bar
the barman says "would you like a drink?"
and descartes says "I think not"
And vanishes in a puff of logic

http://vickichang.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/analogy.jpg
-p. 292, Organic Chemistry Fifth Edition, Paula Yurkanis Bruce

Descarte walks into a bar
the barman says "would you like a drink?"
and descartes says "I think not"
And vanishes in a puff of logic

That's logically incorrect . . . :D

A graduate student bursts into the professor's office with a frothing vial of green liquid, proclaiming the substance was a universal solvent. "And what is a universal solvent?", questions the professor. "A substance that dissolves all things!", answers the student. The professor then asks, "How are you holding it in a glass bottle?"

:lol: Very good, proof if any that a universal solvent is a very bad idea.

A graduate student bursts into the professor's office with a frothing vial of green liquid, proclaiming the substance was a universal solvent. "And what is a universal solvent?", questions the professor. "A substance that dissolves all things!", answers the student. The professor then asks, "How are you holding it in a glass bottle?"

In this kind of glass bottle
http://www.ankurb.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/angels-and-demons-canister-of-antimatter.jpg

In this kind of glass bottle
http://www.ankurb.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/angels-and-demons-canister-of-antimatter.jpg

:eek::confused: what's that?

"Takes a while to get going."

In this kind of glass bottle
http://www.ankurb.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/angels-and-demons-canister-of-antimatter.jpg

or a Klein bottle.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110611.gif
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20110611after.gif

http://sotak.info/sci.jpg

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqbowqCxR31qzugc0o1_500.jpg

:lol: Very good :goodjob:

https://secure3.convio.net/ucs/images/content/pagebuilder/4-2011cartoon-large.jpg

Their is such a thing as visual pollution.

I'll take that over chemical pollution.

Same here. I think wind turbines look quite cool if they're in the middle of the countryside.

Their is such a thing as visual pollution.

Their is, is they're? Well listen hear, I have hered that people on the internet will most likly make fun of you if you don't spell things correctly.

The physics student comes to the university with a new bike and meets his friends, students of mathematics and informatics. "Where did you get that cool new bike?" they ask him. And he says: "I walked to the university and there was this young female student on that bike. She jumped off, took all her clothes off and said to me, that I could have anything I want from her!"
His friends say: "Good choice. Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Ah... so true... We are doomed as a civilization if the smart people don't reproduce aren't we...:sad:

Whoever thought oxygen and magnesium would get together? OMg!

Yeah, that will be your reaction when they combine together, if you haven't been stunned that is. :mischief:

Normally it is Magnesium oxide, MgO. :p

Normally it is Magnesium oxide, MgO. :p

http://files.sharenator.com/buzz_killington_191x300_So_troll-s191x300-152037-535.jpg

I am so honoured to be one of the many recipients of this wonderful and prestigious award. I don't know who t thank for this wonderful award, since so many people have helped me along the way to victory. Firstly I have to thank by mum and dad, for without them, I would never be here. I also have to thank the good Lord for giving me the strength when time were weak and times when I thought giving up. I must thank my loving wife for her support during the darkest days We did baby. :trophy:

Normally it is Magnesium oxide, MgO. :p

Funny, that was my first reaction too!

What compound is this?

BaNa2

http://nickshell1983.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/calories-in-a-banana-jpg.jpeg

Banana. :lol:

How about the formula for Holy Water? H2OMg

FrAg the NO2B with a NO2B TU2B?



http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/reaction.jpg

http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/charge.jpg

http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/no.jpg

http://superman.nu/a/encyc/Fortress/images/lab.gif

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2007/12/30/super_scientist.jpg

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/ghr/lowres/ghrn640l.jpg

"We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos here," growls the bartender.

Two neutrinos walk into a bar.

p2HipedgM3I

Hilarious :lol:

"We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos here," growls the bartender.

Two neutrinos walk into a bar.

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Two FTL neutrinos enter the bar, order, bartender says "who said that?". Neutrinos get frustrated at the inattentive bartender, and leave. A minute later the bartender says "we don't serve FTL neutrinos here!"

FTL neutrinos appear to jump backwards in time.

https://secure3.convio.net/ucs/images/content/pagebuilder/4-2011cartoon-large.jpg

Nuclear power is actually relatively safe. More people have actually died from wind turbines then from nuclear power plant accidents. (This excludes Chernobyl of course, which was an anomaly due to it's mismanagement.)

Nuclear power is actually relatively safe. More people have actually died from wind turbines then from nuclear power plant accidents. (This excludes Chernobyl of course, which was an anomaly due to it's mismanagement.)

So, excluding the most famous nuclear power disaster (with massive ramifications to date), nuclear power is safer than wind turbines? Don't you think that's a pointless statement to make?

So, excluding the most famous nuclear power disaster (with massive ramifications to date), nuclear power is safer than wind turbines? Don't you think that's a pointless statement to make?

Not at all. I'm saying that, given the proper management, nuclear power can be as safe as wind or hydroelectric power.

Also, Three Mile Island, the most famous nuclear disaster on American soil? Not a single person was injured.

Nuclear power is actually relatively safe. More people have actually died from wind turbines then from nuclear power plant accidents. (This excludes Chernobyl of course, which was an anomaly due to it's mismanagement.)

You're excluding the health damage caused by uranium mining and refining.

Not at all. I'm saying that, given the proper management, nuclear power can be as safe as wind or hydroelectric power.

Also, Three Mile Island, the most famous nuclear disaster on American soil? Not a single person was injured.

I could answere with a hint at all the nuclear waste, that nuclear power plants produce, and that noone knows where to put all that sweet stuff.
But instead I will post a completely unrelated funny video:

FXMB5KNYgMw

You're excluding the health damage caused by uranium mining and refining.

It's a hell of a lot safer than coal mining though, would you agree?

To make this post legal...

]http://board.u18chan.com/uploads/data/13325/1318470045342s_U18chan.jpg

A Higgs-Boson walks into a church and the preist says "Oi, we don't allow you lot in here"
and the Higgs-Boson replies "But without me you can't have mass"

Probably

It's a hell of a lot safer than coal mining though, would you agree?


Issues are actually similar. Except there's simply a lot more coal mining. So on quantity coal is worse. But that said, the issues of extraction and refining shouldn't be excluded from analysis of either.

It's a hell of a lot safer than coal mining though, would you agree?

To make this post legal...

]http://board.u18chan.com/uploads/data/13325/1318470045342s_U18chan.jpg

Your mama is so fat, I heard that light shined at her gets eaten, which is convenient, because she's so ugly too!


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5e/BH_LMC.png

Holy God, what is that?

Black Hole.... Not that you could really see it.

That's a Holey God to you.

There was a man from the isle of white
Who could travel faster than light
He set off one day
In a relative way
And came back the previous night

woop, double post

Zrnd63DAH8o

I would say a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20070501.gif

What did George Ohm say when he discovered the direct proportionality between voltage and current? 'Ω my god'

That last one really doesn't work.