Da rules.

1. Post an action.
2. I will roll one of my trusty six sided dice and tell you the outcome of your action.

If, by some odd twist of fate, something is flying towards you, you get a free roll to dodge it. If you die, you lose the game. You win if everybody else is dead.

Here is how the die rolls work out:
1- Epic failure. You actually take the exact opposite action.
2- Failure.
3- Marginal success.
4- Success.
5- Perfect success.
6- Overshot.

You can virtually do anything, but be careful since you have a 50% chance of screwing it up. If you post multiple actions at once, only the first action will be taken. This will disregard all other actions and intent. Twisted Evil

Also, if you attempt to take an action without an intermediate action (example, you try to wear a shirt you are not carrying) the action auto-fails. You can't take the same action twice in a row, and only the first action you submit before I post the results of every bodies actions will be resolved.

ANYTHING GOES but the bigger and more ridiculous the action, the less likley you are to come out with a good result.

Example:
You all are trapped inside a jail cell. What do you do
Player 1: I take out my laser cutter and cut through the bars
Me: Automatic 2: You rummage around in your pockets for the nonexistent laser cutter. You trip and fall on someone's foot.
Roll to dodge for Player two: 3
You manage to pull out most of your leg, but your toes got crushed.

Player Two: UGH! I kick Player 1 in the face.
Me: 6: You jump up and seem to levitate over the Player 1. You execute a perfect flip, your toes just brushing the roof, and snap one leg forward in time to connect with Player1's face. The force of your kick makes the room explode. People go flying out the cell. Roll to Dodge[5]. Everyone miraculously missed the glass of water.

Thanks to Seon and kill fire for making easily-copy-pastable rules (especially Seon), and thanks to Seon for coming up with such a Crazy Awesome idea.

Also, I'm going to reward the players for doing clever or funny things or as Seon called them "achievements". You may get a big shiny new sword, or if you're less lucky, you might end up with an active bomb on a 3 second timer.

Got it? 1, 2, 2 and a half, 3, Goldfish, Go!

Start: You wake up in a really, really, really dark room. You have no idea what's in here.

Asylum Inmates Player List:

bestrfcplayer
DEAD

kill fire
DEAD

Milarqui
DEAD

Winston Hughes
DEAD

Seon
WINNAR!

Catharsis
DEAD

civplayah
DEAD

Bratmon
DEAD

Charles Li
DEAD

rhawn
DEAD

mechaerik
DEAD

mythmonster2
DEAD

TheWesley
DEAD

Perfection
DOUBLE DEAD

Captain2
DEAD

GAME OVER, SEON WINS

Siging up. Yay, second post!

First Action: I try and look for a light.

D'ya think we can run both RtD games at the same time?

EDIT: Damn it Bestrfcplayer, could you wait until I finish my posts to sign up?

No. And I think that 2 RTD's at the same time would be fun!

I'm in! I try to turn on the lights in the room.

Nah, we will just keep one. I'll be doing RtD 4 instead.

Action: I listen carefully to detect where my enemies are.

I grow and eat some magic carrots, which gives me night-vision.

I try to light up the room by setting Kill Fire on fire (oh, the irony!)

I change my action to: I attempt to befriend the midgets before the inevitable midget apocolypse so that I might take a place among them.

I summon my magical staff

I kick Diamondeye in the groin, as is traditional.

I become human lighthouse.

Signing in!

I keep the outcome of this dice roll in reserve.

Signing In!

I decide to win this game.

I remind kill fire that Alex Mercer is just a cheap ripoff of Carnage.

I want to join!

I try to find some night vision goggles.

Mesa join! I jump up to find out how high the ceiling is.

13 players seems good, so I'll do the first update now, but leave signups open a little bit longer...

So, let teh game begin! :mwaha:

I try and look for a light.

2: You search for a light, then find one by stepping on a light bulb that was on the ground for some reason. The broken glass cuts your foot. (-5 hp)

I listen carefully to detect where my enemies are.

2: You hear a bunch of bats coming towards your face.

ROLL TO DODGE!
3: You avoid getting hurt too badly, but get some cuts. (-3 hp)

I grow and eat some magic carrots, which gives me night-vision.

4: You eat some carrots that appear out of nowhere. Unfortunately, they don't give you night-vision, only gas and the ability to create more carrots.

EFFECT ADDED: Carrots. Can make a few carrot things appear.

I try to light up the room by setting Kill Fire on fire (oh, the irony!)

4: You succeed in lighting kill fire on fire. (-4 hp for kill fire). However, the light is only enough to see a little bit around you. You see all the other players, and a couple of boxes.

I change my action to: I attempt to befriend the midgets before the inevitable midget apocolypse so that I might take a place among them.

4: You look for midgets to befriend. You only find a few mice.

EFFECT ADDED: I'm on fire! You are on fire, and lose 2 hp per turn. However, you provide dim light, and the possibility of lighting other people on fire. It can be put out by water.

EFFECT ADDED: Mice. You have some mice friends. They do stuff.

I summon my magical staff

3: You summon a stick. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I kick Diamondeye in the groin, as is traditional.

6: You kick Diamondeye in the balls so hard he flies up and hits the roof. (-9 hp for Diamondeye) Now he falls:

ROLL TO DODGE!
4: You get out of the way of Diamondeye falling, but stub your toe on a box. (-1 hp)

I become human lighthouse.

5: You start glowing. And become immobile. IMMOBILE!

In your surroundings, you see a bunch of boxes, some walls, and the floor. And the ceiling.

EFFECT ADDED: Lighthouse. You provide light, but can't move.

I keep the outcome of this dice roll in reserve.

6: You get a 6 to use for later. But for now you just stand around and do nothing, so the bats come after you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
4: You avoid the bats but trip over a small crack. (-1 hp)

I decide to win this game.

4: The D1C3 G0D, angry at your attempt to do this, teleports you into a volcano. (-3 hp)

I remind kill fire that Alex Mercer is just a cheap ripoff of Carnage.

5: kill fire is reminded, and says, "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!"

I try to find some night vision goggles.

3: You find a pair of glasses on the ground.

I jump up to find out how high the ceiling is.

5: You jump up and touch the ceiling, which is about 40 feet above you.

I give Diamondeye a big hug.

I try to find water to put killfire's fire (how ironic) out.

I pick up that box that I stubbed my toe on, open it, and take what's inside!

EDIT:

I try to find water to put killfire's fire (how ironic) out.

This had better fail. If bestrfcplayer finds water right away, after I spent the whole of the last game trying to find some... then we'll know who's next on the groin-kick list, now won't we :mwaha:

They're regular glasses, right?


I make the pair of glasses into a weapon.

IF bestrfcplayer is succesful in putting me out, I command my mice to eat Diamondeye's eyes. If not I stick with the hugging Diamondeye thing.

Edit: I've been a good boy. I get a present from Sinterklaus.

I shine my light around the room to see what I can find.

I summon a fire elemental.

Is it too late to sign up for this?

(Wasn't 4 'Marginal Success?', Cuz then I win SOMETHING!!!)

I become a volcano god to blast my firey powers at Kill fire.

The chance of something good happening depends on how over the top the action is. Yours was too over the top to make anything good happen. :p

I attempt to make my nose glow! :rudolf:

Is it too late to sign up for this?

No. Welcome to the game. :D

I decide to imitate E.T. and have my index shine a lot.

I do nothing.

(EDIT: In case there is any ambiguity, that is actually my action)

I put Kill Fire inside a giant lantern so that I can use him as a (somewhat immobile) lamp!

I find my weapon

Awesome.

I open one of those boxes.

I smash open one of the boxes.

Time for an update, and I welcome the two new players. We're getting big, so I'll close the signups after the next update or two.

I try to find water to put killfire's fire (how ironic) out.

3: You pick up a bucket of water and throw it at him. You throw it so weakly it only goes two inches. HAHAHAHA

I pick up that box that I stubbed my toe on, open it, and take what's inside!


4: You find a shiny sword. IT SHINES!

They're regular glasses, right?

I make the pair of glasses into a weapon.

1: The glasses spontaneously explode in your hands. (-8 hp)

IF bestrfcplayer is succesful in putting me out, I command my mice to eat Diamondeye's eyes. If not I stick with the hugging Diamondeye thing.

1: You hug yourself. The fire burns even hotter. (-5 hp)

Edit: I've been a good boy. I get a present from Sinterklaus.

6: Sinterklaus comes down from the sky and gives you 3 nicely wrapped presents. Opening them is a free action.

I shine my light around the room to see what I can find.

1: You see Perfection doing something you never wanted to see, ever. This actually hurts your brain so much you lose hp. (-5 hp)

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Cannot unsee! (20 Gamerscore)

I summon a fire elemental.

2: A spark appears.


I become a volcano god to blast my firey powers at Kill fire.

5: You have successfully become the volcano god! However, you still can't fire lava at someone who's miles away from you. Oh, and you're for some reason not immune to lava damage from the volcano. (-3 hp)

EFFECT ADDED: Volcano God. You can make lava. But there is a chance of you exploding spectacularly.

I attempt to make my nose glow! :rudolf:

4: You sneeze. Your nose is looking red, at least.

I decide to imitate E.T. and have my index shine a lot.

5: Your index finger starts glowing for no reason. This strangely attracts the bats.

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: They bite the glowing finger off. (-6 hp)

I do nothing.

(EDIT: In case there is any ambiguity, that is actually my action)

4: You do almost nothing, but still manage to fart.

I put Kill Fire inside a giant lantern so that I can use him as a (somewhat immobile) lamp!

5: Kill fire is put in a giant immoble lantern. Unfortunately, putting him in the lantern burned you. (-2 hp), but, you can still see the surrounding area! And he's immobile until he escapes the lantern!

Awesome.

I open one of those boxes.

6: You find the almighty Infinity Sword, The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, and some Vanilla Ice Cream.

I smash open one of the boxes.

4: You are left with the splintered remains of a box, a first aid kit, and an AK-47 with no ammo.

I attempt to teleport to whoever commisioned the building of the dark room I'm in in the first place.

I regrow my finger using my hidden-till-now super-healing powers

IF I SNEEZE HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE MY NOSE RED IT WOULD BE PRODUCTIVE. I ALSO ALWAYS COVER MY NOSE WHEN I SNEEZE. I THEREFORE DEMAND THAT YOU ADD A HANDFUL OF BOOGERS TO MY ITEMS LIST. :mad:

As for orders:
I check my pockets for some sort of illumination source (with my nonboogered hand, of course)

I build a fearsome CARROT GOLEM, with which to smite my enemies.

I reflect the light from the burning kill fire lantern into mythmonster's eyes using my SHINY sword, so I can steal his first aid kit.

I build a screen so that the light from the KillFireLantern will shine in the shape of a batman-logo, to attract the bats to attack anyone stupid enough to get close (that would include myself, sadly).

I find my trade mark survival kit.

IF I SNEEZE HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE MY NOSE RED IT WOULD BE PRODUCTIVE. I ALSO ALWAYS COVER MY NOSE WHEN I SNEEZE. I THEREFORE DEMAND THAT YOU ADD A HANDFUL OF BOOGERS TO MY ITEMS LIST. :mad:


Fine. :p

Ohnoes Perfection has teh H1N1! Get awaaaay!

If sign ups are still open I'd love to join, just not sure if they've closed yet or not

Alright, screw you guys, I'm goin home!

I summon water over myself to put the fire out.

I summon water over myself to put the fire out.

You're in for a world of groin-stabbing if you manage it :mad:

You're in for a world of groin-stabbing if you manage it :mad:

Sorry, your not my type.

I am ever so excited and joyful that Sinterklaus gave me not one, not two... but three gifts. As good of a boy as I've been I only open one gift, I begin by slowing peeling the tape at the edge and neatly unwrap it. In the spirit of X-Mas I give my other gifts to other players, one goes to :rolls dice: Perfection and the other to :rolls dice:Captain2.

Sorry, your not my type.

Now that's not a nice thing to say to a guy with a sword. :(

Now that's not a nice thing to say to a guy with a sword. :(

Aw shucks Catharsis, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm sorry. :(

I use my powers to turn put some more Fire onto Kill Fire's Fire lamp!

I take out the AK-47 and threaten people who don't know its out of ammo with it.

I try to speed up time so that its december 21st 2012.

I shank bestrfcplayer with a shard from the glasses.

If sign ups are still open I'd love to join, just not sure if they've closed yet or not

Join, And I'll update in a few hours, so send orders! :whipped:

I pick up my new items.

You're, um, already holding them... :p

I try to find a batman costume to appease the bats

Hey, kids! You know what time it is, right? Well, yes, it's 8:50, but it's also UPDATE TIME!

I attempt to teleport to whoever commisioned the building of the dark room I'm in in the first place.

3: You attempt to teleport, but you don't have enough mana/runes/energy/whatever.

I regrow my finger using my hidden-till-now super-healing powers

5: Your finger suddenly grows back, minus the glow. And you get (+3 hp)


I check my pockets for some sort of illumination source (with my nonboogered hand, of course)

5: You find a flashlight. Meanwhile, the boogers turn acidic and start dissolving your other hand. (-2 hp)

I build a fearsome CARROT GOLEM, with which to smite my enemies.

1: You turn your penis into a carrot. One of the bats eats it. (-12 hp)

I reflect the light from the burning kill fire lantern into mythmonster's eyes using my SHINY sword, so I can steal his first aid kit.

5: Your shiny sword reflects the light into mythmonster's eyes, causing him to trip and throw the first aid kit into the air.

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You flawlessly sidestep the kit and catch it, with nothing being displaced.

I build a screen so that the light from the KillFireLantern will shine in the shape of a batman-logo, to attract the bats to attack anyone stupid enough to get close (that would include myself, sadly).

4: Killfirelantern now has a batman logo glued to him, although it is crude. The bats ignore it.

I find my trade mark survival kit.

6: You find the Survival Kit, TM. Free Action to Open.


I summon water over myself to put the fire out.

6: You summon a torrent of water inside the lantern, putting the fire out. Unfortunately, now you're trapped inside a water-filled lantern, drowning, and it's dark. LOLOLOL

EFFECT LOST: I'm on Fire! You're no longer on fire.

EFFECT ADDED: Drowning! You are drowning and will die in 3 turns if you don't escape.

I am ever so excited and joyful that Sinterklaus gave me not one, not two... but three gifts. As good of a boy as I've been I only open one gift, I begin by slowing peeling the tape at the edge and neatly unwrap it. In the spirit of X-Mas I give my other gifts to other players, one goes to :rolls dice: Perfection and the other to :rolls dice:Captain2.

6: It seems you chose the right gift to keep! And it was boosted by your generosity. You get a Lightsaber, a Rocket Launcher, some Tough, Shiny Armor, and a hamburger. All in 1 Package! Meanwhile, Your gifts for Perfection and Captain2 are thrown to them:

ROLL TO DODGE Perfection!
5: You catch the present, but get a paper cut from the gift card. (-1 hp)

ROLL TO DODGE Captain2!
5: The Exact same thing happens to you. Wow! (-1 hp)

However, rhawn's shiny new stuff attracts the bats:
1: They mercilessly attack you, and eat the hamburger. (-11 hp)

I use my powers to turn put some more Fire onto Kill Fire's Fire lamp!

1: You summon a bunch of lava on top of yourself, which burns you badly. (-12 hp) and you're still inside the volcano. (-3 hp)

I take out the AK-47 and threaten people who don't know its out of ammo with it.

5: A few brownie midget zombies appear, are scared by the AK-47, and run away, dropping a mysterious box, which you pick up.

I try to speed up time so that its december 21st 2012.

1: You freeze yourself in time. Everyone else is unaffected.

EFFECT ADDED: Frozen in time: You can't do anything unless you roll a 6, die, or someone or something else unfreezes you somehow.

ACHIEVEMENT: LOL EPIC FAIL: No one has ever failed as hard as you just did. Well, okay, maybe a few. (1 Gamerscore)

I shank bestrfcplayer with a shard from the glasses.

3: You barely manage to scrape him, even though he can't move. (-1 hp for bestrfcplayer)

I pick up my new items.

You already had them, nothing happens.

I try to find a batman costume to appease the bats

1: Your costume is terrible. They are enraged and attack you.

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: They bite you a lot. (-9 hp)

I teleport to the D1C3 G0D's house so we can chill again.

Out of sadism (and desire for a rules experiment), I try to stop killfire teleporting.

Okay then, I change my action to: I call the D1C3 G0D so he can pick me up and we can chill again.

In case that works (does "multiple actions at once" count later posts after an intiial one), I will switch to attempting to punch my way out of the room.

You know what I'll just reserve the outcome of this roll for later.

THE ALMIGHTY GAME MASTER, GOD OF THE GAME WORLD, APPEARS IN THE SKY.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_J_KXZbfpQo0/SbBtO0wvWAI/AAAAAAAAAPc/scgOlsMVm9A/s400/monty%2Bpython%2Bgod.jpg

I command that you two pick an action and stick with it instead of just changing it everytime the other changes it. Srsly its getting annoying.

Yes, you can change your actions, just quit doing it so damn much. :p

NOW BEGONE BEFORE I STEP ON YOU WITH MY GIANT FOOT!

Ouch, ouch, ouch. What nasty little creatures bats are! What was Sinterklaus thinking when he packed this gift? All I wanted was a green power ranger action figure. I'm sure one of his Elves made a mistake when packing this present. My mother would be very dismayed if she knew I was irresponsible and played with things only grown ups should touch. I leave the rocket launcher and the light saber on the ground. These are gifts for naughty boys, not a good boy like I. I like the shiny armor, I will put it on and play knights and knaves!

Despite my circumstances, I attempt to raise an army.

rhawn, Sinterklaus knows when you've been good or bad. You can act all innocent, but he knows why you were in the bathroom so long.

I pray to the Almighty God that a solution may present itself in order to rid myself of the evil bats and players.

I pick up the bazooka and begin to hunt bats with it

I chop Milarqui's hands off before he can finish praying.

I open my gift

I wipe my boogers on Captain2 and open gift.

I open th survival kit.

I grow myself a new carrot penis, to replace the old fleshy one that the bats are currently feasting on.

I leave the volcano to heal myself in order to kill Winston after defeating Kill Fire.

I attempt to blind rhawn with my brilliant light.

I open my new box.

I keep the outcome of this roll on reserve as well.

I also threaten anyone who comes near me.

I mug Perfection.

And on the 4th day, The LORD said "Let there be an Update to Roll to Dodge", and Roll to Dodge was updated!

I teleport to the D1C3 G0D's house so we can chill again.
Okay then, I change my action to: I call the D1C3 G0D so he can pick me up and we can chill again.
You know what I'll just reserve the outcome of this roll for later.

1: you fail to reserve the outcome for later, and instead bonk your head against the lantern, which still doesn't break. (-5 hp)

2 TURNS UNTIL DEATH

Out of sadism (and desire for a rules experiment), I try to stop killfire teleporting.
In case that works (does "multiple actions at once" count later posts after an intiial one), I will switch to attempting to punch my way out of the room.
Despite my circumstances, I attempt to raise an army.

1: Your attempt at switching and doing these things results in confusion.

Wild THEWESTLEY has become confused! He hurt himself in his confusion! (-6 hp)

Ouch, ouch, ouch. What nasty little creatures bats are! What was Sinterklaus thinking when he packed this gift? All I wanted was a green power ranger action figure. I'm sure one of his Elves made a mistake when packing this present. My mother would be very dismayed if she knew I was irresponsible and played with things only grown ups should touch. I leave the rocket launcher and the light saber on the ground. These are gifts for naughty boys, not a good boy like I. I like the shiny armor, I will put it on and play knights and knaves!

2: You drop the shiny armor in addition to the lightsaber and the rocket launcher accidentally. WTFLOL

I pray to the Almighty God that a solution may present itself in order to rid myself of the evil bats and players.

6: God gives you the Not-Quite-So-Holy Hand Grenade of Acre (The Antioch Grenade was taken), and a piece of cheese.

I pick up the bazooka and begin to hunt bats with it

6: You slide over to rhawn, grab the bazooka, and fire it, killing several bats all in one fell swoop. But more are still there!

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: They bite you a few times, blah blah (-5 hp)

I chop Milarqui's hands off before he can finish praying.

3: His 6 creates a holy shield around his hands, preventing you from doing this. Also, the bats attack:

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: You know the drill. (-5 hp)

I open my gift

6: You find the Unholy Sword of Satan, who hath commanded you to use it to kill stuff. You also get a laser gun (unlimited ammo).

I wipe my boogers on Captain2 and open gift.

3: You wipe them on a box, but miss Captain2.

6: Jesus Christ, Santa's been nice with the presents! You get the Holy Shotgun (12 bullets), and a gift card that may be redeemed for $100 at the nearest brothel.

I open th survival kit.

1: Out pops a knife, which stabs you in the eyes. (-8 hp)

EFFECT ADDED: Blind. You can't see and thus take -1 to all rolls.

I grow myself a new carrot penis, to replace the old fleshy one that the bats are currently feasting on.

5: A nice-looking penis-shaped carrot appears where your penis once was.

I leave the volcano to heal myself in order to kill Winston after defeating Kill Fire.

5-3 for posting 4 actions simulatenously=2: You remain in the volcano. (-4 hp)

I attempt to blind rhawn with my brilliant light.

5: Rhawn is blinded! He trips over the shiny armor he dropped. (-3 hp for rhawn)

I open my new box.

3: You get a shiny gold coin.

I keep the outcome of this roll on reserve as well.

I also threaten anyone who comes near me.

5: You now have both a 5 and a 6 in reserve. Congratulations.

I mug Perfection.

5: Perfection is hurt (-4 hp for Perfection), and you steal his Brothel Gift Card and Flashlight.

I attempt to restore my lost H.P.

Alright, thats it. SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME! I teleport home so I can enjoy a merry Christmas.

I use the Not-So-Holy-Hand-Grenade-of-Acre against Captain2.

I decide that blowing up Captain2, who has a lazer, is a priority, and as such I use my newly-gained bazooka to blow him to smytherines.

Waaaahhhh! My eyes. Oh my what did I do to deserve this. I want my mommy!

I run around screaming Aah aah aah aah agh aah agh

I pee myself as a free action and then use my lazer gun to kill Diamondeye

I decide to go back to Plan A and stab Milarqui in the groin instead.

I turn Bratmon into a carrot.

I grab rhawn's lightsaber and block any incoming attacks.

I destroy the 6 sided dice so you are forced to use a 4 sided dice.

I shine a beacon in the sky, trying to find someone who can make me a custom-made lighthouse wheelchair.

I unfreeze my self.

I shoot mechaerik with the shotgun

I'm on a roll. I keep this 'un in reserve as well.

Waaaahhhh! My eyes. Oh my what did I do to deserve this. I want my mommy!

Note: My "mommy" is a 6'5" 350 lb. Icelandic drag-queen bodybuilder featured on the upcoming season of G4 television's Human Wrecking Balls, where he/she single handedly demolishes a lighthouse and humps the rubble into dust. He/she is also sponsored by Met-Rx in the World's Strongest Man competition and is very protective of her little boy.

Since I probably won't have time to update later, and I already have orders from all but 1 person, I'll just update now!

And sign-ups are henceforth closed. Game full.

I attempt to restore my lost H.P.

3: You restore (+1 hp).

Alright, thats it. SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME! I teleport home so I can enjoy a merry Christmas.

3: You teleport up to the top of the lantern. You are still trapped inside, but you get another turn before you drown.

TWO TURNS UNTIL DEATH

I use the Not-So-Holy-Hand-Grenade-of-Acre against Captain2.

1: You forgeteth to count to 3, insteadeth countingeth to 5, and the Not-So-Holy-Grenade of Acre thus explodes in your hand. And it sprayeth thy blood all over the floor, making it slippery. And there was much rejoicing! (-13 hp)

I decide that blowing up Captain2, who has a lazer, is a priority, and as such I use my newly-gained bazooka to blow him to smytherines.

6: You fire the bazooka at Captain2, who explodes spectacularly. But he still has 1 hp left! (-14 hp to Captain2)

Waaaahhhh! My eyes. Oh my what did I do to deserve this. I want my mommy!

5: Your mother appears and starts comforting you. This somehow heals you. (+2 hp)The D1C3 G0D, annoyed at this, sends down a holy bolt of light to smite you.

ROLL TO DODGE!
1: You are smitten. (-13 hp) DEAD.

I run around screaming Aah aah aah aah agh aah agh

5-1=4: You manage to avoid crashing into anything.

I pee myself as a free action and then use my lazer gun to kill Diamondeye

4: Despite being exploded, you still fire a few shots. (-5 hp for Diamondeye)

I decide to go back to Plan A and stab Milarqui in the groin instead.

1: You slip on the blood from the exploded Grenade, and your sword flips up and stabs you in the groin. (-12 hp)

I turn Bratmon into a carrot.

6: Success! Bratmon is turned into a carrot.

EFFECT ADDED FOR BRATMON: Carrot. You're a carrot. You can be eaten and can't move. Also, -1 to all dodge rolls for not being able to move.

This attracts the bats to both of you:

ROLL TO DODGE WINSTON!
5: You dodge, but stub your toe. (-1 hp)

ROLL TO DODGE BRATMON!
6-1=5: You somehow dodge the bats despite being immobile. But you fall over and hurt yourself. (-1 hp)

I grab rhawn's lightsaber and block any incoming attacks.

2: You grab it by the blade and slice your finger off. (-8 hp)

I destroy the 6 sided dice so you are forced to use a 4 sided dice.

1: You destroy yourself instead. (-3 hp). DEAD.

I shine a beacon in the sky, trying to find someone who can make me a custom-made lighthouse wheelchair.

5: The lighthouse now has wheels, meaning you can move! Sort of. A Giant Bat attempts to tip you over:

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: You are pushed over. You only had wheels on the bottom and thus can't get up. LOL (-8 hp)

I unfreeze my self.

1: Instead of unfreezing yourself, you encase yourself in ice as well as time. Sharp, pointy ice. (-8 hp)

I shoot mechaerik with the shotgun

1: You somehow manage to shoot yourself. (-13 hp)

I'm on a roll. I keep this 'un in reserve as well.

3: Okay, you have a 5, 3, and 6. You're also a carrot. LOL

I regenerate my eyes.

After being underwater so long, I finally realize something. I am trying to make sense of a world that makes no sense at all. As such, I realize that the latern doesn't even exist and that I am in fact at home in my bed dreaming. How else would all this crap make sense? (Well other than the D1C3 G0D I hang out with him often)

I grab the lightsaber by the handle.

I try to discover the meaning of life

I eat Bratmon in an attempt to restore HP.

Damn you! That was my plan! :mad:

I eat Perfection in an attempt to restore HP.

I modify the laws of physics so that entropy can decrease spontaneously and use that to recover my health.

I slap Captain2 with the bazooka. He needs to die.

I use the first-aid kit to recover health!

scratch my quest for enligtenment

I give into the swords requests and stab Diamondeye

Hmm. I'll just keep this roll for later. It's not like I can do anything.

I FALCON PAWNCH perfection.

I create a ball of fire that will unfreeze me from the ice, and time so that I'm back with everybody else in the dark room.

By the way, if you die, will you come back as goast's as in the other games?

I use ma 5 to quickly become a person again.

Sure, go right ahead. Charles, rhawn, you can do stuff despite being dead as well.

I use ma 5 to explode back into a person .

You want to explode?

I changed mine: see above

I regenerate my eyes.

5: Your eyes spontaneously grow back into your head, and they now are mysteriously glowing blue. Also, (+4 hp)

After being underwater so long, I finally realize something. I am trying to make sense of a world that makes no sense at all. As such, I realize that the latern doesn't even exist and that I am in fact at home in my bed dreaming. How else would all this crap make sense? (Well other than the D1C3 G0D I hang out with him often)

4: You wake up at home, and realize it was just a dream. Then you realize that's a dream too and wake up back in the room. But you're not drowning any more, at least. OH POOP.

I grab the lightsaber by the handle.

3: You successfully grab it by the handle, but forget to pick it up, and instead just hold it on the floor.

I eat Bratmon in an attempt to restore HP.

2: You open your mouth and attempt to eat Bratmon, but cannot bite through the carrot's skin.

Damn you! That was my plan! :mad:

I eat Perfection in an attempt to restore HP.

4: You bite Perfection's arm off. (+4 hp), (-4 hp for Perfection) It proves to be kind of hard to chew though, and the bats attack you while you're chewing:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You bat all the bats away with the bone from Perfection's Arm. And continue to eat the boner.

EFFECT ADDED PERFECTION: One-Armed. You're missing an arm, and can't do anything that requires too arms, and take -1 to all rolls.

I modify the laws of physics so that entropy can decrease spontaneously and use that to recover my health.

4: The laws of physics refuse to bend at your whim, but pity you and heal you anyway. (+2 hp)

I slap Captain2 with the bazooka. He needs to die.

2: You attempt to slap him, miss, and start twirling around in a circle, and trip on a crack. (-2 hp)

I use the first-aid kit to recover health!

5: SUCCESS! (+7 hp)

scratch my quest for enligtenment

I give into the swords requests and stab Diamondeye

4: Diamondeye is stabbed. (-4 hp) Diamondeye is DEAD.

ACHIEVEMENT: First Blood! First person to kill someone else. Worth 30 GS.

Hmm. I'll just keep this roll for later. It's not like I can do anything.

1: You fail. And the bats attack you for no reason at all, just cause you rolled a 1:

ROLL TO DODGE!
3: They bite you a few times. (-5 hp)

I FALCON PAWNCH perfection.

3: You abort the baby he wasn't pregnant with, shout FALCON PAWNCH! in a strange way, and take away his remaining 1 HP. Perfection is DEAD.

I create a ball of fire that will unfreeze me from the ice, and time so that I'm back with everybody else in the dark room.


4: The fire melts the ice, but not the time. And it burns you. Didn't think that one through too well, did you? ROFL MAO (-4 HP)

I use ma 5 to quickly become a person again.

5: You are no longer a carrot. The bats still want to eat you, though:

ROLL TO DODGE!
3: The eat part of you, but nothing important, just some of those fat rolls. (-6 hp)

I extract the life-force of everything around me to recover.

Having developed a taste for human flesh, I will now attempt to eat Seon, whose glowing blue eyes look rather delicious. :drool:

I am now an angel. I need a bell to ring so that I may gain my wings and make baby Jesus happy. Someone please ring a bell to make a little boy happy! May I suggest preventing someone from jumping from a high bridge or perhaps smashing one of your opponents in the skull and giving them a concussion?

I shine the light from my Shiny Sword in Bratmon's eyes so I can steal his reserve 6.

I offer help to someone, anyone who can tip me back onto my new wheels!

I use a time machine to get me unfrozen and back in the present day, in the dark room.

I leave this thread after dying. Bye, suckers! :p

I have a plan for Roll To Dodge 4, which is going to take place in a mall. This is a special rule I have made up for it:

Special Rule: Entering a Shop
If you decide to enter a shop, I will throw 2 dices so that I can decide what happens when you do enter:
- First dice: Relationship between expectations and reality.
You must tell me the name of the shop and what you expect to be there. Depending on what I get on the dice, you'll find either what you wanted or what you didn't want.
1: Are you sure you were looking for THIS? (the shop doesn't have anything at all similar to what you wanted)
2: We might have had that, but... (the shop has something slightly similar to what you wanted)
3: If you had come last year, we would have given you that (related to what you look for, but not exactly that)
4: Yeah, but it was 50 years ago (you find what you looked for, but the shop's stok is either old or half-broken)
5: We indeed sell what you want (up-to-date of whatever you want)
6: OMFG! I called for a little rain and got the Flood! (totally up-to-date and great quantities of what you wanted, and even something more)

Example: Player A: I enter Victoria's Secret, and expect it to be full of sexy feminine lingerie.
3: You enter Victoria's Secrets, and find it full of BDSM-related objects.
Player B: I enter Ammu-Nation and expect it to be full of weapons and ammunition.
6: OMG! When you enter Ammu-For-A-Nation, not only do you find enough weapons to supply a medium-sized army, but also a FRIGGING TACTICAL MINI-NUKE!

- Second dice: Watch out for that las...
When you enter a shop, the alarms may blare up or not, thus bringing different responses to you. However, in here there is no police, as the shops are equipped to fully answer by themselves to the potential threat of a robber (i.e. you).
1: Get away or get OBLITERATED! (Shop answers with immediate and overwhelming reaction to your entrance in the shop)
2: Wanna see me put this through your head? (Shop answers with immediate reaction to your entrance in the shop)
3: You have 5 seconds to deactivate me (Alarm sounds, but you still have a chance to get away or to deactivate it... if you find the control panel)
4: Situation: DEFCON 4 (the alarm doesn't sound, but it may in the next turn)
5: Cree, cree, cree (the alarm is deactivated and will never sound. That's the sound crickets make, BTW)
6: Oh, sorry, Sir, we didn't expect you here! (The alarm is activated, but it somehow recognises you as the owner of the shop, and will now obey you!)

Example: Player A has entered Victoria's Secrets, a BDSM shop.
6: The shop lights turn on, giving everything a reddish hue. Then, a sensual feminine voice says, "My Lord and Master, how may I help you?", and a sexy woman dressed with a domino mask, leather bra, leather tanga and leather high-heel boots and carrying a whip enters the room.
Player B has entered Ammu-For-A-Nation, a shop with lots of weapons and a tactical mini-nuke.
1: An alarm blares. Out of nowhere, a shoe appears. You sigh. Then the shoe launches itself at the tactical mini-nuke, and hits it. After a few seconds, you think it's a dud, but suddenly WHAT THE HELL KABOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

Other rules stay the same!

My eyes are shining? I grow a new pair of wings to turn into an angel.

Attack bats with inf sword.

I ask this question again for the sake of all players. If you die, do you come back as goasts as in the previous 2 games? Or just leave?

Attack bats with inf+1 sword.

It's only the Infintity Sword, not Infinity Plus One. ;)

I ask this question again for the sake of all players. If you die, do you come back as goasts as in the previous 2 games? Or just leave?

Yes, you do, I already answered you.

I use Force Jump to jump up and smash down into Milarqui with my lightsaber.

I click on Perfection's corpse and loot it of all its valuables.

My corpse releases a truly horrendous death fart in mechaerik's face

Sorry for lack of update yesterday, I wasn't here to update.

I extract the life-force of everything around me to recover.

6: You steal 1 HP from every player, even the dead ones. This adds up to a total of (+15 HP), and (-1 HP) to every player. Captain2, who only had 1 HP, is now DEAD.

Having developed a taste for human flesh, I will now attempt to eat Seon, whose glowing blue eyes look rather delicious. :drool:

1: You attempt to bite him, only for his glowing blue eyes to suddenly shoot lasers at you. (-10 HP)

I am now an angel. I need a bell to ring so that I may gain my wings and make baby Jesus happy. Someone please ring a bell to make a little boy happy! May I suggest preventing someone from jumping from a high bridge or perhaps smashing one of your opponents in the skull and giving them a concussion?

5: You will gain your wings the next time someone either prevents someone from dying or attacks their head. Or a bell just rings for some other reason and I decide to give them to you.

I shine the light from my Shiny Sword in Bratmon's eyes so I can steal his reserve 6.

6: Your shiny sword blinds Bratmon, allowing you to steal his reserve 6, and his reserve 3.

I offer help to someone, anyone who can tip me back onto my new wheels!

4: You tell rhawn you'll ring a bell if he tips you up again. Whether or not he does so is his choice.

I use a time machine to get me unfrozen and back in the present day, in the dark room.

3: You remain frozen in time. And you're still in the present day, you're just frozen.

I leave this thread after dying. Bye, suckers! :p

Fine, goodbye then.

My eyes are shining? I grow a new pair of wings to turn into an angel.

4: You too can gain wings when a bell rings, but not yet.

Attack bats with inf sword.

5: You kill a few of them, but the remaining ones are visibly annoyed and attack you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You slice all of them that attack you.

I use Force Jump to jump up and smash down into Milarqui with my lightsaber.

2: You jump, but still find yourself unable to lift the lightsaber off the ground.

I click on Perfection's corpse and loot it of all its valuables.

1: The corpse gets up as a zombie, punches you in the face, and steals the Brothel Gift Card back. (-9 HP)

My corpse releases a truly horrendous death fart in mechaerik's face

5: You unleash a massive fart, releasing a somewhat poisonous gas cloud in mechaerik's face. (-4 hp to mechaerik), and he'll lose another 4 hp if he fails to escape it.

NEAT! Most harmful attack in the game! :D

I send out an hypnotic wave, so that everyone and everything around me will ignore me completely, thus preserving my health until everyone else is dead.

EDIT: Why didn't anyone comment on my neatly organized ruleset for RtD4?

I say "Screw it" and bash Milarqui with my AK47.

I still try to get unfrozen from time! This has not been my best moment. I wish that I hadn't tryed to time travel.

I switch places with bestrfcplayer, so that he may bear the horrible gas.

I haunt the hell out of Milarqui

I offer to ring a bell for Seon if in return he teaches me how to shoot lasers out of my eyes.

I construct myself a fearsome arsenal of carrot-related weaponry.

I laserbeam Milar.

Why does everyone hate me so much?

I reserve this roll.

Why does everyone hate me so much?

I'd like to believe my haunting is self explanitory

Let's kick this up a notch.

I activate the reserve 6, and since I have a shiny sword, I use it to OMNISLASH (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxcDGeNOeMk) the heck out of the whole freakin' lot of you.

Now let's see who survives and who doesn't! :D

Alright, that's it. I would like to attempt to sprout arms to push myself back up.

I'll be the Clarence to civplayah's George. I will will add my die roll to civplayah's attempt to sprout himself arms. I hope you do learn an important X-Mas lesson here civplayah, especially about shining bright lights into little boy's eyes.

Let's kick this up a notch.

I activate the reserve 6, and since I have a shiny sword, I use it to OMNISLASH (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxcDGeNOeMk) the heck out of the whole freakin' lot of you.

Now let's see who survives and who doesn't! :D

If I am lucky enough, I will.

Zombie Perfs eats civplayah's eyeballs!

Lighthouses have eyeballs?

Why wouldn't they? :confused:

I send out an hypnotic wave, so that everyone and everything around me will ignore me completely, thus preserving my health until everyone else is dead.

3: You attempt to hypnotize everyone, but only start talking and saying "You are getting sleepy..." and look like an idiot.

I say "Screw it" and bash Milarqui with my AK47.

1: You forget to let go of the lightsaber still on the ground, and trip over it. It cuts your leg off, and the AK-47 bashes YOU in the head. (-10 HP)

EFFECT ADDED: One Leg. You can't do anything that requires two legs, and also take -1 to all rolls.

I still try to get unfrozen from time! This has not been my best moment. I wish that I hadn't tryed to time travel.

5: You manage to unfreeze your head and neck. The rest of you remains frozen.

I switch places with bestrfcplayer, so that he may bear the horrible gas.

3: You fail to switch places with him, but do escape the gas. It follows you, though:

ROLL TO DODGE!
2: It catches you. (-4 HP). DEAD.

I haunt the hell out of Milarqui

6: You successfully haunt Milarqui. He screams "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!", and looks like more of an idiot. (-1 to Milarqui's rolls for 1 turn)

I offer to ring a bell for Seon if in return he teaches me how to shoot lasers out of my eyes.

5: You say this to Seon, whether or not he takes your offer is up to him. In the meantime, the bats hear you shouting this and attack:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: You gracefully dodge all of the bats. You look so awesome that one of them decides to follow you.

I construct myself a fearsome arsenal of carrot-related weaponry.

5: You get a carrot sword, carrot that fires carrots, carrot cake, and a plain old, run-of-the-mill, ordinary carrot. It is AWESOME!

I laserbeam Milar.

3: Seon uses LASERBEAM on Milarqui!
But it's not very effective... (-4 HP)

I reserve this roll.

1: You get NOTHING! And the bats attack, just cause I feel like it:

ROLL TO DODGE!
5: You escape with only a few scratches. (-1 HP)

Alright, that's it. I would like to attempt to sprout arms to push myself back up.

5(+3 from rhawn's roll)=8: You not only sprout arms, but the wheels become legs. And they are big arms and legs. You have become a GIANT LIGHTHOUSE WITH ARMS AND LEGS!

Oh, and you get Eyeballs.

I'll be the Clarence to civplayah's George. I will will add my die roll to civplayah's attempt to sprout himself arms. I hope you do learn an important X-Mas lesson here civplayah, especially about shining bright lights into little boy's eyes.

3: 3 is added to his roll. And you gain wings!

EFFECT ADDED: Angel. You can fly, and +1 to all rolls.

Zombie Perfs eats civplayah's eyeballs!

3: You find yourself unable to climb up to his head to eat them.

Let's kick this up a notch.

I activate the reserve 6, and since I have a shiny sword, I use it to OMNISLASH (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxcDGeNOeMk) the heck out of the whole freakin' lot of you.

Now let's see who survives and who doesn't! :D

6: Alright, you unleash the almighty power of OMNISLASH on everyone! Now let's see who it hits:

ROLL TO DODGE Bestrfcplayer:
5: Even though you can only move your head, you still manage to mostly avoid the OMNISLASH. (-2 HP)

ROLL TO DODGE kill fire:
5: The bat that was following you takes the hit, so you lose him but take no damage.

ROLL TO DODGE Milarqui:
3-1=2: You get sliced badly. (-9 HP)

ROLL TO DODGE Winston Hughes:
1: You are sliced cleanly in half by the awesomeness of OMNISLASH. (-13 HP) DEAD.

ROLL TO DODGE Seon:
4: You attempt to parry with your knife. This fails, but it prevents too much damage. (-4 HP)

ROLL TO DODGE civplayah:
6: When Catharsis attempts you slash you, you shrug and kick him across the room. (-8 HP for Catharsis)

ROLL TO DODGE Bratmon:
3: While wondering what the hell is going on, you get sliced by OMNISLASH. (-7 HP)

ROLL TO DODGE rhawn:
2+1=3: You get sliced. Luckily, you're dead, what do you care?

ROLL TO DODGE mythmonster:
3-1=2: You get sliced badly, and lose all your remaining HP. (-6 HP) DEAD.

ROLL TO DODGE TheWesley:
5: You jump out of the way just in time. The OMNISLASH barely touches you. (-1 HP)

ROLL TO DODGE Perfection:
1: Perfection the Zombie is sliced into several pieces. Perfection the Zombie is now DOUBLE DEAD.

Damn it! I didn't get to use my Carrot-That-Fires-Carrots. I will be avenged. :mwaha:

I eat my piece of cheese. (Dammit, I lost my HP advantage)

As a ghost, I call forth evil spirits so that we may wage war on the living.

I kneel down and hold the bat, while screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Then, driven by the mighty power of revenge, I order my mice to attack Catharsis, while I attempt to call the bats ghost to help me.

EDIT: Oh, and when all this is happening, this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugLj6wfnl_Y) song plays.

Dang, that didn't kill as many people as I'd hoped.

Okay, I use the Shiny Sword like a baseball bat, to smack Milarqui's piece of cheese across the room while he's in the process of eating it, thus distracting the mice.

Dang, that didn't kill as many people as I'd hoped.

Okay, I use the Shiny Sword like a baseball bat, to smack Milarqui's piece of cheese across the room while he's in the process of eating it, thus distracting the mice.

HEY! Stop attacking me!

I'm not attacking you, I'm attacking the piece of cheese, because I consider it to be a more threatening opponent. :mischief:

{You wanted comments on your RtD 4 rules, right? The shop idea looks like fun. That's the only way we'll be able to get items and stuff, right? Suitable reward for the inherent risk, and no reward without risk?

On the subject of 'no reward without risk', I think that reserving rolls should be banned in future RtD games: although it contradicts the 'anything goes' mantra, it's just too overpowered if you get a 5 or 6, IMO, because you can just do anything with 100% chance of success. Like the Omnislash thing I just did, although I gotta commend choxorn for having civplayah damage me with his dodge roll 6 - I hadn't considered that possibility when thinking up the strategy. :goodjob:}

On the why you attack the cheese, I find it rather disheartening that you find the cheese more threatening than me. I did, after all, manage to kill 1 guy and suck 15 HP in total (though, now this is the 2nd most destructive attack after the omnislash attack)

On your comment over RtD4 rules: well, there will be 2 ways to do it: stealing from a shop, or stealing from other player. And yeah, no reserving rolls. It would then be far too easy to get the alert systems to obey you if you were able to get a 6 and reserved it.

I attempt to blind rhawn with my brilliant light.

I hope you do learn an important X-Mas lesson here civplayah, especially about shining bright lights into little boy's eyes.


Lighthouses have eyeballs?

5(+3 from rhawn's roll)=8: You not only sprout arms, but the wheels become legs. And they are big arms and legs. You have become a GIANT LIGHTHOUSE WITH ARMS AND LEGS!

Oh, and you get Eyeballs.

:)Another X-Mas miracle! Merry X-Mas, Everyone!:)

Catharsis: THAT WAS MINE!!!!!!

I LAUNCH MY UNBRIDLED WRATH (WITH BOTH SWORD AND GRENADE) AT CATHARSIS!

I attack TheWesley for no reason.

Luckily, the brothel card has a GPS unit in it to ensure that it goes to good use. Perfection's fave fling from there, Tiffiny (pictured below) crudely stiches him back together...
http://img5.allocine.fr/acmedia/medias/03/46/26/034626_ph1.jpg



Oh please, Lord, Grant me a 6!

As I begin floating up into heaven, I unleash one last, desperate wave of energy with the hopes to harm somebody.

although I gotta commend choxorn for having civplayah damage me with his dodge roll 6 - I hadn't considered that possibility when thinking up the strategy. :goodjob:}

Well, I wasn't gonna let you off that easily. :D

I suck the very life out of catharsis using my magical blue eye power. Or somethin'.

Using my ghost powers I summon three spirits to teach everyone the true meaning of Christmas

And now, it are time for an update!

I eat my piece of cheese. (Dammit, I lost my HP advantage)

6: It is a very delicious piece of cheese. You can feel it giving you HP back and healing your wounds! (+8 HP), unless Catharsis knocks it out of your hands.

As a ghost, I call forth evil spirits so that we may wage war on the living.

4: The Evil Spirits are too busy playing Left 4 Dead 2.


Okay, I use the Shiny Sword like a baseball bat, to smack Milarqui's piece of cheese across the room while he's in the process of eating it, thus distracting the mice.

3: You fail to knock the piece of cheese out of Milarqui's hand before he eats it.

I kneel down and hold the bat, while screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Then, driven by the mighty power of revenge, I order my mice to attack Catharsis, while I attempt to call the bats ghost to help me.

EDIT: Oh, and when all this is happening, this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugLj6wfnl_Y) song plays.

1: The mice don't answer, the bat's ghost stays dead, and the music from Madness Combat makes the Clown and Jesus appear and attack you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
5: Hank appears and kicks both of their asses, teleporting them all back to the movies. You still got injured in the crossfire, though. (-1 HP)

Catharsis: THAT WAS MINE!!!!!!

I LAUNCH MY UNBRIDLED WRATH (WITH BOTH SWORD AND GRENADE) AT CATHARSIS!

2: You find yourself unable to pull the pin out of the holy hand grenade, and just fumble around with it for a few seconds. LOL

I attack TheWesley for no reason.

5: You beat him a few times with your fists. (-8 HP for TheWesley)

Additionally, the D1C3 G0D has become annoyed at his inactivity, and attempts to smite him:

ROLL TO DODGE TheWesley:
4: You still manage to mostly avoid the holy ray of light. (-4 HP)

Luckily, the brothel card has a GPS unit in it to ensure that it goes to good use. Perfection's fave fling from there, Tiffiny (pictured below) crudely stiches him back together...
http://img5.allocine.fr/acmedia/medias/03/46/26/034626_ph1.jpg


4: All the Brothel's women can't put you back together again.

As I begin floating up into heaven, I unleash one last, desperate wave of energy with the hopes to harm somebody.

6: You fire a desperate wave of energy at the ground. It hits... (Determines with Random Number Generator)... civplayah.

ROLL TO DODGE civplayah!
4: It hits you, but doesn't hurt you much. (-3 HP)

I suck the very life out of catharsis using my magical blue eye power. Or somethin'.

3: You suck the life force out of one of his toenails.

Using my ghost powers I summon three spirits to teach everyone the true meaning of Christmas

1: The three spirits drag you back down to hell where you belong.

Sorry for missin the update, but here's my action: Still try to get unfrozen from time.

I try to steal Bratomon's grenade.

I steal Catharsis' sword.

1: The three spirits drag you back down to hell where you belong.

Ah I see, we're using the Jim Carey version

I pull Milarqui's arm off. Preferably the one he's holding my sword with, if he manages it. :D

I say "WAZZUUUUUUUUP!" to the D1C3 G0D and ask if he wants to go dance again.

I turn into an angel like rhawn.

THIS ONLY ANGERS ME FURTHER!!!!!!!!! TRY AGAIN!!!!
also, smallcaps

I try to steal Bratmon's grenade.

Never mind. I would like to kill Bratmon and steal all his stuff.

<Insert Funny Text Announcing Update Here>

Sorry for missin the update, but here's my action: Still try to get unfrozen from time.

3: Still frozen. Your unfrozen head screams a few things that can't get past the autocensor.

I steal Catharsis' sword.

3: You grab it and fight over it, but don't manage to yank it out of his hand.

I pull Milarqui's arm off. Preferably the one he's holding my sword with, if he manages it. :D

3: Milarqui's arm remains firmly attached to his shoulder.

I say "WAZZUUUUUUUUP!" to the D1C3 G0D and ask if he wants to go dance again.

2: The D1C3 G0D thinks you're lame and shoots lightning at you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: The Lightning supercharges you! You can now shoot lightning. Just be warned, bad things may happen. :mischief:

And while he's at it, the D1C3 G0D is still angry at TheWesley's inactivity, and screams "Y0U B3 ACT1V3 F00! TH15 T1M3 Y0U D13 F0' R3AL!", and attempts to smite him:

ROLL TO DODGE TheWesley!
3: You avoid the massive light beam, but the explosion takes your remaining HP. (-6 HP) DEAD.

I turn into an angel like rhawn.

2: You try to get someone to ring bells for you, but no bells will ring.

THIS ONLY ANGERS ME FURTHER!!!!!!!!! TRY AGAIN!!!!
also, smallcaps

5: You pulleth the pin, counteth to three, and lobeth the Holy Hand Grenade at Catharsis and Milarqui.

ROLL TO DODGE Catharsis:
4: You jump a little out of the way, but have too little HP left to survive the blast. (-5 HP) DEAD.

ROLL TO DODGE Milarqui:
6: You jump far enough away from the blast to not get hurt. Also, you got Catharsis's Shiny Sword!

Never mind. I would like to kill Bratmon and steal all his stuff.

1: You trip over your own feet and fall on the ground, on top of some spikes that conveniently appeared out of nowhere. (-8 HP), DEAD.

I still try to get free from freken time!

yay! Shiny Sword!

I kill bestrfcplayer to end his suffering.

I find a cowbell.

yay! Shiny Sword!

I kill bestrfcplayer to end his suffering.

Not if I finally get unfrozen from time.

Oh poop! I didn't even get to use the reserve 3.

My ghost, deciding to support the only still-living player who didn't attempt to kill me, wears a scarf in bestrfcplayer colours and hoists a banner that says 'GO BESTRFCPLAYER, ALSO, STEALING BRATMON'S ITEMS WAS FUN'.

I store the outcome of this roll.

I decide not to be aggressive and add my roll to Bratmon's.

I see bestrfcplayer, who once tried to save my life, being attacked, and decide to return the favor by shooting Milarqui with lightning.

As a one-day-early Christmas Present, I give you an update!

I still try to get free from freken time!

2: Time laughs at you and says "YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE!"

yay! Shiny Sword!

I kill bestrfcplayer to end his suffering.

3: You swing your sword and miss a target that can't move.

I find a cowbell.

3: You run into a SNL skit, which needs more cowbell. They kick you back to the game when you try to steal their cowbell. (-6 HP)

Oh poop! I didn't even get to use the reserve 3.

My ghost, deciding to support the only still-living player who didn't attempt to kill me, wears a scarf in bestrfcplayer colours and hoists a banner that says 'GO BESTRFCPLAYER, ALSO, STEALING BRATMON'S ITEMS WAS FUN'.

3: You try to find a banner, but can't, and you're too lazy to make one, so you just wear the scarf.

I store the outcome of this roll.

4: Enjoy your 4.

I decide not to be aggressive and add my roll to Bratmon's.

4: Actually, Bratmon can enjoy his 8.

I see bestrfcplayer, who once tried to save my life, being attacked, and decide to return the favor by shooting Milarqui with lightning.

5: You shoot lightning in the general direction of Milarqui.

ROLL TO DODGE Milarqui:
4: You avoid the bolt, but are burned by being too close to it. (-5 HP)

Since Milarqui is near me, I punch him in the face.

You're still frozen in time you know.

Anyway, I try to use electricity to unfreeze bestrfcplayer. By shooting lightining at him. Either way it's gunna be cool.

I cast regeneration on my self.

I put the Shiny sword in between kill fire and bestrfcplayer so that the lightning kill fire is launching will be reflected towards bestrfcplayer's head, thus frying him and, possibly, killing him.

I put the Shiny sword in between kill fire and bestrfcplayer so that the lightning kill fire is launching will be reflected towards bestrfcplayer's head, thus frying him and, possibly, killing him.

Well hell, either way I win.

Standing orders: If anyone tries to steal my 8, instead of my stated action, I use the 8 to attack the thief.

Immediate orders: Reserve this as well.

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everybody!

Since Milarqui is near me, I punch him in the face.

You try to punch him in the face, then remember that your arms are still firmly and completely frozen in time, thus preventing you from moving them to punch Milarqui in the face. Everyone lols, even some of the inanimate objects.


Anyway, I try to use electricity to unfreeze bestrfcplayer. By shooting lightining at him. Either way it's gunna be cool.

3: The effect of this roll shall be determined by what Milarqui does with his sword.

I cast regeneration on my self.

2: You misremember the spell and cast wrong. This hurts you instead of healing you. (-8 HP)

I put the Shiny sword in between kill fire and bestrfcplayer so that the lightning kill fire is launching will be reflected towards bestrfcplayer's head, thus frying him and, possibly, killing him.

3: You put the shiny sword into the lightning bolt. Predictably, the sword conducts lightning instead of deflecting it, and you get shocked due to your lack of understanding of the way electricity works. (-6 HP). Oh well, at least bestrfcplayer remained frozen.

Standing orders: If anyone tries to steal my 8, instead of my stated action, I use the 8 to attack the thief.

Immediate orders: Reserve this as well.

2: You have a 2 in reserve, congratulations! In the meantime, bats swarm you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
5: They don't hurt you themselves, but get in your face and make you trip over bestrfcplayer's frozen leg. (-2 HP)

As it is christmas, you find that Santa has left you all a present under the tree that spontaneously appeared in the room! You can all open a present... If you can get to the tree. Shouldn't be too hard.

By the way, did I mention everything trying to kill you between you and the tree?

I drain lifeforce from others around me to heal myself. Even from inanimate objects like trees and wooden box.

I attack Seon before he can try to suck the lifeforce of everything around him.

Keep on reserving.

I'll be smart and reserve this roll.

I drain lifeforce from others around me to heal myself. Even from inanimate objects like trees and wooden box.

2: The lifeforce of everything around you tells you to go screw yourself.

I attack Seon before he can try to suck the lifeforce of everything around him.

2: You somehow hit yourself with the sword. (-6 HP)

Keep on reserving.

6: Look at you, you have a 6 in reserve, lucky bastard! This makes the bats very jealous. They want your 6 and 8 badly!

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: Wow, what a lucky son of a female dog you are. They all suddenly decided to turn around.

I'll be smart and reserve this roll.

1: YOU GET NOTHING! Also, your head re-freezes.

The D1C3 G0D yells at kill fire to stop playing Assassin's Creed II all day and send in orders!

Since imitation is the best form of adulation, I try to absorb the lifeforce of all lifeforms around me.

I call the power of the Jedi Master Yoda to help me get unfrozen from time.

I use my six to eat my ice cream and find it has healing powers.

I'll say, this is about to end. I guess that, in a couple of turns, everyone will be dead, and I'll be able to start RtD4, with its new rules (Mall Madness!)

I laserbeam kill fire before he wins.

I try to convince the D1C3 G0D to kill Bratmon because he has become too powerful.

Since imitation is the best form of adulation, I try to absorb the lifeforce of all lifeforms around me.

2: Tired of being asked to give people lifeforce, the lifeforce of everything gives you the finger and steals your one remaining HP. DEAD.

I call the power of the Jedi Master Yoda to help me get unfrozen from time.

3: Come to the phone right now, Yoda can not. A message, after the beep leave. Get back to you, he will.

I use my six to eat my ice cream and find it has healing powers.

6: Congrataulations! You discover that eating ice cream heals you... by 2 HP. (+2 HP)

I laserbeam kill fire before he wins.

3: YOURA FIRIN UR LAZOR! It misses, unfortunately, and explodes some bats. The rest get pissed and attack you:

ROLL TO DODGE!
6: Another lazer makes all the attacking bats die.

I try to convince the D1C3 G0D to kill Bratmon because he has become too powerful.

1: The D1C3 G0D decides to smite you instead. (-7 HP) DEAD.

THIS BACK-STABERY WILL NOT GO UNAVENGED!

I use my ghostly powers to set us up the bomb and destroy EVERYTHING!

I laserbeam Bratmon before he kills us all

Use my 8 and the power of the inf sword to kill all remaining challengers.

I use my ghostly powers to possess Bratmon just after he has killed everyone else.

I use my ghost powers to possess Milarqui before he accomplishes that.

Since kill fire won't stop bugging me about it, here's an update:

THIS BACK-STABERY WILL NOT GO UNAVENGED!

I use my ghostly powers to set us up the bomb and destroy EVERYTHING!

5: You set up a bomb, set to explode in 3 turns.

I laserbeam Bratmon before he kills us all

3: You laserbeam... and miss again, somehow hitting one of the ghosts.

Use my 8 and the power of the inf sword to kill all remaining challengers.

8: You activate the power of 8! The infinity sword starts glowing with its amazing power. But the power of the 8 is too much! The sword explodes in your hand, killing you. (-9999 HP) DEAD.

It does, however, send out an explosive wave towards everyone else:

ROLL TO DODGE bestrfcplayer:
5: You somehow only lose 1 HP. Who knows how?

ROLL TO DODGE Seon:
5: You also only lose 1 HP, by being at the edge of the explosion.

I use my ghostly powers to possess Bratmon just after he has killed everyone else.

6: You Possess the ghost of Bratmon.

I use my ghost powers to possess Milarqui before he accomplishes that.

6: You Possess the ghost of Milarqui possessing Bratmon.

I attempt to keep both players alive.

Damn! This is funny!

New action: I decide to possess kill fire, leaving civplayah in Bratmon's ghost.

Why would you do such a thing?

Erm, yikes, hadn't noticed you were dead.

I possess bestrfcplayer, then.

I kick bestrfcplayer's frozen self between the legs.

Hmm, I'll possess Seon, then.

I possess my dead body.

I shoot lazers out of my eyes at Seon.

Two players left!!!

Since I won't have time to do it later, I'll update now.

I attempt to keep both players alive.

5: You heal both players for 2 HP.

TWO TURNS UNTIL BOMB EXPLODES!

Erm, yikes, hadn't noticed you were dead.

I possess bestrfcplayer, then.

3: kill fire prevents you from possessing him by throwing ghost-poop at you.

I kick bestrfcplayer's frozen self between the legs.

4: You miss his groin, but it hit his leg. (-4 HP for bestrfcplayer)

Hmm, I'll possess Seon, then.

3: kill fire throws real poop at you to stop you this time.

I possess my dead body.

6: Congratulations, you have possessed your dead body! It doesn't make it any less dead, though. LMFAO.

I shoot lazers out of my eyes at Seon.

Two players left!!!

1: You fire a laser beam- but, like you, it freezes in time. As you cannot see through the laser beams in front of your eyes, you have become BLIND.

EFFECT ADDED: Blind. -1 to all rolls.

Wow. I actually saved Bestrfcplayer's life.

I continue to keep both players alive.

I make sure that kill fire fails this time.

I cast true resurrection on myself.

I possess kill fire's ghost so that he stops keeping the other players alive.

I teleport outta their! (I'll most likely fail, so this is a last-resort).

Why do you wanna stop me?

I stab bestrfcplayer in the groin if I still jave my knife.

If not I laser him there.

Why do you wanna stop me?

So that this game finally ends.

Well my motive is to set off the bomb, so I'm gunna keep them alive until such time.

Alright, here's an update. The game's probably close to ending.

Wow. I actually saved Bestrfcplayer's life.

I continue to keep both players alive.

4: Your ghostly influence is not strong enough to effect them this time.

I make sure that kill fire fails this time.

2: You fail to keep him from failing, but he already failed anyway so your fail doesn't effect his fail of whether or not he failed.

I cast true resurrection on myself.

4: You remain dead.

I possess kill fire's ghost so that he stops keeping the other players alive.

3: You do not possess him, but again, he already failed anyway.

I teleport outta their! (I'll most likely fail, so this is a last-resort).

4: You find yourself still frozen in time. You haven't head great luck, have you?

I stab bestrfcplayer in the groin if I still jave my knife.

If not I laser him there.

4: You knife him, taking away his one remaining HP. Bestrfcplayer is DEAD. He also, mysteriously, remains frozen.

Then, suddenly, a bunch of bats, brownie fairies, and poop appear out of nowhere and kill you. DEAD. But hey, you won, didn't you?

Game over. Seon wins!

Good. Now, we can start RtD 4: Mall Madness!

I call shenanigans. Kill fire won Seon's game, choxorn won kill fire's game, and now Seon's just won choxorn's game. These three are obviously in cahoots and they should be not just killed but humiliated in the next game. :D

Good game all. Who gets the coveted 'Most Unintelligent Player' award?

Well, not being a jerk like kill fire, I wasn't going to give awards for the sole purpose of insulting people, but since you asked for it, you can have the "Most Unintellegent Player" Award. :p

Ok, RtD4 is up!

Well, not being a jerk like kill fire, I wasn't going to give awards for the sole purpose of insulting people, but since you asked for it, you can have the "Most Unintellegent Player" Award. :p

Finally, some recognition :D

I call shenanigans. Kill fire won Seon's game, choxorn won kill fire's game, and now Seon's just won choxorn's game. These three are obviously in cahoots and they should be not just killed but humiliated in the next game. :D

I would assume that it's because we're the most intelligent/lucky players. *whispers to Seon and choxorn* Their on to us!

I call shenanigans. Kill fire won Seon's game, choxorn won kill fire's game, and now Seon's just won choxorn's game. These three are obviously in cahoots and they should be not just killed but humiliated in the next game. :D

Good game all. Who gets the coveted 'Most Unintelligent Player' award?
Let us see the awards for this round. How about we standardize the awards across games, perhaps with limited "host awards".