Hussain (capt),
Naz has his good days. Scored a double against Australia last series. Known to have soft hands and holds bat low down. Not a good combination. Col's prediction : broken finger second game

Trescothick,
Left handed opener. Scores quickly. Been consistently one of Englands best players over the last two years. Col's prediction : one to watch. My bet for top scorer

Vaughan,
Just scored three centuries in a row. Certain to be main target. Recovering from knee surgery. Opening partnership with Trescothick hold's the key. If they go cheaply England will struggle to reach 200. Recovering from knee op. Col's prediction: One of the few England batsman who can take on Aus bowng attack.

Butcher,
Left hander. Scored plenty last time against Aus. Caught at gully usually these days. Probably worked out by top bowlers now. Col's prediction: middle of a hat-trick

Key, replacing Thorpe.
Promising opener. Not yet proved he can make big scores. Wont give his wicket away - but not in same class as man he's replacing. Col's prediction : Vaughan's struggle with knee injury will give him his chance .

Crawley,
Has promised much but doesnt deliver. May score well in friendly games. Col's prediction: Not one for when the chips are down.

Flintoff,
The mighty Freddie. Forward defensive for six. Englands biggest hitter and an un(der)rated bowler. Col's prediction: Fastest 50 and an average below 20.

Stewart (wkt),
Sadly he is still Englands best wicketkeeper- batsman which says it all. Fighter. Hopeless against spin. Col's prediction: solid until Warne gets the chance to bowl at him.

Foster (wkt),
Makes mistakes with gloves and bat. Col's prediction: will only play if Sgt Stewy's back goes.

Giles,
Left spinner who may turn a ball one day. Col's prediction: wil spend a lot of time bowling defensively into rough outside leg stump

Dawson,
Young off-spinner. Has been known to take a wicket. Col's prediction. Unlikely to feature in more than one test.

Gough,
Deadly Darren. Living off past glories. Over weight and over there. 'Recovering' from injury. Col's prediction: Will break down in first warmup game and will never play test cricket again.

Caddick,
Dumbo to his friends. On his day can bowl a side out. Relies on swing. Col's prediction: it wont be his day very often.

Hoggard,
Honest trier. Best swing bowler in England. Gets caned in one day cricket which doesnt bode well. Col's prediction: Will get used to ball hitting cover boundary a lot.

Harmison,
Fast. Clocked at 90mph+. Inaccurate. Injury prone. Col's prediction: will ruffle a few feathers and get the odd wicket caught at deep square.

Jones.
See above

The England Squad: Pillager's predictions:


Rubbish.





I'll do it seriously later...when I can drag myself out of this deep depression...

Mordhiem's Ashes Predictions

Series Score - 3-1 Australia (Yep, I really do think we will win a test!)

Englishman of the series - Marcus Trescothick, because he will be the only pommie to make a century.

Aussie of the series - Glenn McGrath. Just because he always bloody is...

Pat on the back award - Matthew Hoggard. Because even if your 18.3 - 0 - 93 - 0, you don't stop running in.

'Why do the media hate me?' award - Greame Thorpe, because The Sun just doesn't understand...

'So long and thanks for all the runs!' award - Mark Waugh. Steve'll last another series on the strentgh of his leadership ability, but it'll be adios to his brother (fortunatley).

'So long and thanks for all the stick!' award - Nasser Hussain. Even if your easily the best captain England have had in 15 years, you gotta go sometime (i.e. When the press start screaming for your blood 'after another humiliation down under').

'Oh my god! Look at my cholesterol levels!' award - Andy Flintoff the favourite here of course, but Warney still has a few weeks left to pile on the pounds yet. Most interesting contest of the lot this one.

New find of the series - The new England coach driver will be very promising, despite a few dodgy moments on the way to Melbourne. Will keep his place for the summer tests against stiff opposition.

Least expectant fan of the series - My dad. "Why bother watching the damn thing? It'll all be bloody over by lunch on day 1."

Happiest fan of the series - Simon Darkshade

Well, I stand by my original prediction of Rubbish.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/the_ashes/2345619.stm

A stunning way to start the tour. Some highlights of our defeat:

11-2 at one stage,
Last five wickets lost for 33 runs,
Harmison bowled 16 wides, including 7 in one over. SEVEN???

Bugger. :suicide:

I hope the rest of you don't mind, but seeing as the discussions on the Ashes are spread over numerous threads, I thought it would be sensible to have a single thread for the whole tour.

I trust that that will be to everyone's satisfaction - it's just a bit depressing to read how badly we are going to lose in more than one thread. At least if it's all posted here, I'll know what to expect.

Col and Mordhiem, feel free to repost your squad posts here.

If any of our Australian friends could pay a visit to the England camp and do something terminal to Giles, I and 60 million others would be very grateful...

Revision to CADDICK

Sparkling batsman capable of holding the lower order together.


I think I was a bit optimistic about Crawley though.


Late Addition to the squad.

Craig White: All rounder
Despite living in Scarborough, Craig still retains his unfortunate accent. Not bowled flat out for a couple of years. Used to be quicker than he looked. The reverse is true now. Inconsistent batsman. Has had some success as a hitter in one day games.

Thanks to whichever mod visited and combined the threads, although it did have me rather confused for a couple of minutes...

I PMed AoA ;)

I can only see White making an impact in ODI's. Get him super slogging at no. 6 or 7, as long as they accept that he'll either make a glorious 62 of 43 balls, or go for 3 from 7 it could be a reasonable plan. As for bowling, the less he has to do the better.

Oh and has anyone checked up on that window cleaner? He might have an English granny...

Quick news flash - Mark Waugh bows out of international cricket after being dropped:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/the_ashes/2356743.stm

Lehmann? Didnt Yorkshire drop him last year?

I see Giles took two wickets lbw. They must have played for the spin!

Nice to see we can still bowl sides out.
Openers scoring a few - see my predictions....

Yup - Col's getting optimistic again...... :):):):)

Originally posted by mordhiem
'So long and thanks for all the runs!' award - Mark Waugh. Steve'll last another series on the strentgh of his leadership ability, but it'll be adios to his brother (fortunatley).

Yes! One prediction down already!

Just ten to go...

Interesting to see (yet) another batting collapse. Cruising at 288/4, a lead of 75, and yet all-out for 327. Me thinks that they are still lacking that killer-instinct to really push-home an advantage.

Don't underestimate Lehmann - probably an odd call to replace a 37yo with a 33yo, but Lehmann can take hold of a bowling attack and throttle them.

Just under a day to go before the start of the series, can't wait. I really would like to see the Poms offer up some decent opposition, but early tour form is not good.

Ado
(English-born turncoat!)

Gough is out - maybe permanently. Replaced by Tudor.
Harmison (I think) Injured - not playing first test.

B. Lee - Dropped - Replaced by Andy Bichel.
Jason Gillespie appears fully fit and will play 1st test.

To the brits: Warnie is going to tear you apart, although Vaughn looked good in his 1st innings against queensland (Martin Love made 250 or something). Tudor/Caddick will not get you through. Might as well give up now.

Prediction: Aussie Clean sweep. Warne for man of series. He's the best he's ever been.

I still stand by my 'descriptions' of the England squad. A few hours to go before the first test. All Englands strength is in their first four wickets. Collapses are inevitable. The bowling is in tatters and the majority of our players aren't fit. Catches have been dropped in all the warm up games and we've looked second best to second string sides.

Bring 'em on!

Originally posted by col
I still stand by my 'descriptions' of the England squad. A few hours to go before the first test. All Englands strength is in their first four wickets. Collapses are inevitable. The bowling is in tatters and the majority of our players aren't fit. Catches have been dropped in all the warm up games and we've looked second best to second string sides.


Even that is probably too optimistic :suicide:

So, who lives near SW London/Surrey and has Sky so I can come and watch us win?

Enland team:

Trescothick
Vaughan
Butcher
Hussain
Crawley
Stewart
White :eek:
Giles
Caddick
Jones
Hoggard

SO, White get's in ahead Flintoff who's still "feeling stiff" (in the bad way ;)) from the Queensland match and feels he wouldn't last 5 days. But I'd have thought that wouldn't have been an issue seeing as we are going to lose in 3 anyway...

Originally posted by col
I still stand by my 'descriptions' of the England squad. A few hours to go before the first test. All Englands strength is in their first four wickets. Collapses are inevitable. The bowling is in tatters and the majority of our players aren't fit. Catches have been dropped in all the warm up games and we've looked second best to second string sides.

Bring 'em on!

Optimism! :goodjob:

One hopes the English will give a good account in the first Test, however one would not bet on anything less than the Poms being thoroughly humiliated and reduced to a blubbering mess within 3 days - of course I'm an Aussie pessimist! :D

And a brand new avatar to commerate our blodgening defeat :goodjob:!

Originally posted by Pillager



So, who lives near SW London/Surrey and has Sky so I can come and watch us win?

I've got Sky. If you happen to be in the Yorkshire area in the early hours of the morning, drop in. You can tell my house from the sobbing and references to the parentage of certan Australians emanating through the walls....

The series will proboably go 3-1 to the Aussies. The Poms might be able to get the Aussies on a bad day sometime during the series which will enable them to snare a victory. But I think their best chance is the weather turning bad (probably in Melbourne) where they can snatch a draw.

Bowler of the series: McGrath to take the honours over Warnie, just because he'll get first crack at the top order and by the time Warnie gets a go, there's only a few wickets left. Caddick for the Poms will get a few wickets, but will not have the help that McGrath has in Gillespie, Bichel, and Lee (if he plays).

Batsman of the series: It's hard to go past Hayden. In great form at the moment and will be disappointed to not score at least two centuries against England limited attack. Expect him to give Giles a pasting.

Go Aussies!

Originally posted by KingWilly
The series will proboably go 3-1 to the Aussies.

For this to occur, in one test, everything needs to go right for England, and everything has to go wrong for Australia. Even then I doubt that England would have the confidence to win.


Bowler of the series: McGrath to take the honours over Warnie, just because he'll get first crack at the top order and by the time Warnie gets a go, there's only a few wickets left.
Don't be surprised if Steve Waugh brings Warnie on first change, even with a new ball. England do have a couple of batsmen (and I mean couple) that are good enough to hold out a bit, and give warnie a few more wickets.

Oops - 1/233 at tea.

Who's betting that Langer is banging his head against the wall?!

News on Simon Jones who had that nasty attempted slide early on in the piece. He's ruptured his anterior (might have been posterior) cruciate ligament. He needs a full knee reconstruction, so I highly doubt that he would play cricket anytime in the next year.

So, 361/2, with three overs remaining. Not the kind of total you want to see after sending the other team in to bat. :suicide: <--- This is going to be making numerous appearences in this thread I fear.

You know its going to be bad, but you hope....then hope fades.

do we need to post scoreboards up here, or would it be too depressing for our pommie friends?

You know, if they weren't all miserable fielders, they might not be in so much trouble. The catches they dropped were absolute sitters, and could've made the score a bit more reasonable.

Ok so thats the bowling and fielding sorted. Just wait until we bat then you'll see how good we are ...... sob

Tee hee hee. And so it begins. :evil:
I am going to enjoy this. :mwaha:

I'm so depressed I'm not going to even bother posting...

:cry: :cry: :cry:

Please Lampshade and Bobgote, don't be too horrid with us.

I would appeal to your country's sense of winning gracefully, but I think that'd be a waste of time.

At least we're good at losing gracefully. I mean look at Jones - took a wicket, then buggered up his knee so as to give your chaps a chance. That's pretty sporting if you ask me.

God, I'm struggling here.

Help me. Please.

Hey you can lose gracefully.

Me - I'm going to sulk and throw my teddy round the room.

All we need now is Geoffrey on Sky telling us how he would have scored 300 on his own and Fred on the radio telling us how good they were in their day.

B*ll*cks to them all and b*ll*cks to all b*st*rd ozzies.

(Col opens another bottle of wine, retires to a darkened room and settles down to watch another night of disaster)

Yeah, Geoff might score 300, but he needs to remember it's only a 5 day game...

The English commentation on the ABC Radio coverage (Peter Roebuck?) was pretty frank about the bowling and fielding - basically described one as terrible and the other as worse still!! I've yet to see any TV coverage, but is it really that bad for the Poms?

Oh, and Col - remember to pace yourself, there's the one-day series following and you might need more wine then!!

Ado

Was it that bad?
I could have taken those two catches....

30mins to go. I promise to go to bed when they reach 500...or we take two wickets - whichever comes first.

Well, Friday morning, and hope is rising again, A dangerous situation. Aussies all out for under 500, and we're 150 for 1. Quite an improvement on yesterday.

I have a feeling that this is the high, soon to be followed by the low...

The Australians collapse from 399-4 to 492 all out as the might of the England bowling runs through their tail.

Meanwhile Trescothick (Col's tip for the top) smashes their pitiful bowling to all parts of the ground.

Two questions remain. Why does my head hurt so much and who kicked me out of bed after only three hours sleep to go to work....?

Col, no, don't do it. :nono:

I detect some sort of optimism in your post. Sarcastic or not, you're playing a dangerous game...

Originally posted by Pillager
Col, no, don't do it. :nono:

I detect some sort of optimism in your post. Sarcastic or not, you're playing a dangerous game...

C'mon Chaps stiff upper lip and all that. Things are looking up, England are 1/158 at stumps on the second day, losing in three days would appear to be out of the question (damn!). Who knows, England may yet post a first innings lead - what's that about flying pigs? :p :D

Hi Andy! Back for cricket season? :D


A little e-mail that I received:

Subject: New Rules for upcoming Ashes
Following the crushing defeat of Pakistan, the International Cricket Council has imposed a new set of rules for the up coming Ashes series to make the contest more even.

1) As a result, England has been granted an automatic wickie, freeing up wicket keeper Alex Stewart to defend the boundary. Under the rule, Australian batsmen will be deemed out "caught behind" if the ball nicks their bat and lands in the immediate area behind the wicket. The rule is a compromise from the original English proposal which had pushed for automatic slips as well. The ICC refused that request on the grounds that "someone has to go and get the ball when an Australian misses it."

2) In addition, Australia is under strict "tip and run" restrictions which require they take a run off every ball they hit. Steve Waugh was happy to accept this, as it meant no change to his current game plan. As a compromise, it was agreed that the Australians will also have to shout out the word "wickets" when completing a run to make run out decisions by umpires easier.

3) Following his outstanding performances, Australian wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist has "six and out" restrictions imposed on him. As well, following complaints from English fielders, Gilchrist will have to get the ball if it goes across the road.

4) Instead of using a bat, Matt Hayden will now be obliged to use his arm with his jumper wrapped around it.

5) New rules for England include "one hand, one bounce" while they are fielding, and the provision of "last man carries" when they are batting.

6) The English tried to extend the "can't get out first ball" provision to "can't get out first ten overs", but the ICC proclaimed that the extra runs gained would hardly be worth the effort.
Australian captain Steve Waugh has vigorously opposed the "last man carries" rule and has launched an appeal. Waugh says Australia will only agree to the rule if there are electric wickets at the end, allowing Aussie fielders to throw to the stumps at either end.

7) A spokesperson for the ICC also announced that following six
successive ducks "from now on Craig White can't get out for a duck".

8) English pace bowler Andy Caddick will also be allowed to wrap the ball's seam with electrical tape when he's bowling in the second innings.

9) The spokesperson added there will be "no LB" for English batsmen unless "it is really, really obvious."

10) Shane Warne has conceded that its "fair enough" that he
has to bowl underarm (but not molly grubbers) to the English tail end.

11) If England decides that Steven Harmison is to be given an
over, the umpire will deem the Australian batsmen as dismissed if
Harmison lands the ball anywhere on the pitch. Captain Steve Waugh has no problems with this change, as the probability of such a dismissal occurring is infinitesimally small.





The question I have is about interpretation of the rules. WIll players be deemd "english" based on the team they play for, or nation of birth :lol:

Ouch.

Thats not at all funny and I'm not really falling off my chair and rolling around the room laughing.

:):):)

Originally posted by col
Ouch.

Thats not at all funny and I'm not really falling off my chair and rolling around the room laughing.

:):):)

Yes, I have tears in my eyes too....

:cry: :cry:

Originally posted by Pillager
Well, Friday morning, and hope is rising again, A dangerous situation. Aussies all out for under 500, and we're 150 for 1. Quite an improvement on yesterday.

I have a feeling that this is the high, soon to be followed by the low...

And now we have the low...

A pretty spectacular collapse, leaving the Aussies plenty and runs to play with. The usual story of setting us a large total at the end of the fourth day is unfolding.

"Hey, Warnie, is 400 runs enough leeway for you to run through the Poms' second innings?"

It's hardly worth asking...

I think there is a positive to come out of this for England. We can see that although the rest of england are miserable, the top 3 batsmen can do some good work. Well c'mon, 3 out of 11 ain't too bad. (I haven't seen the scoreboard yet, but i heard crawley did ok too)

Originally posted by ainwood
Hi Andy! Back for cricket season? :D

How could I resist, an Ashes Series with Hayden whacking Pommy bowlers all over the ground and a couple of good performances from the England top order to give the Poms a smidgin of hope that not all will be doom and gloom - every thing is going according to plan! :D :D :D

Just saw on the telly that Steve Waugh has declared leaving England 464 to win. As the players walk off the ground, TV comentator Tony Greig's prophetic words are "spare a thought for the English batsmen" - indeed! :p :D

Vaughan (0) LBW McGrath, England 1/0. :goodjob:

Trescothick (1) caught Gilchrist bowled Gillespie, England 2/3 :rolleyes: :goodjob:

Umpire Bucknor saves England from utter carnage by giving Hussain not out to a very audible snick - bummer! :D

To spare our English posters further pain we interrupt this broadcast of the cricket with some soothing music..................... :D

don't forget the very likely hussain lbw to warne. i want to see the hawkeye thing for that one. If Hussain's gonna stay out there, I hope they're sledging him good. :)

It's all over, England all out for 79! :eek::rolleyes: One is tempted to say that England's Ashes campaign is in - ashes. :D :D :D

Brilliant effort from the Aussies - this is a truly great Cricket team. :goodjob:

Bugger.

Of course I blame myself for that reckless post after the second day.... Its no consolation to know that I've got the leading run scorers and wicket takers for both teams spot on.

Imagine if England's top order weren't making runs - in the first innings. :p :D

Originally posted by Pillager
Bugger.

Err, shouldn't that be buggered? :p :D

:mwaha: :mwaha:
Great display by the lads, barely slipping out of cruise mode.
It was a nice evil touch to give the English some glimmer of hope, just so squashing them like ants would arouse greater feelings of schadenfreude. :evil:
And now, after a brief sojourn in the Misty Isle of the Two-Headed, the English touring party come to Adelaide. And are never heard from again...

The really painful thing is you knowthat its going to happen but you allow yourself to hope.

Originally posted by KingWilly

Batsman of the series: It's hard to go past Hayden. In great form at the moment and will be disappointed to not score at least two centuries against England limited attack.


After the first test, I'm going to make slight adjustment to this prediction.

Hayden will be disappointed to not score at least two centuries per test against England's limited attack.

Ok, does anyone think that England can beat the Australia A team?

I don't think England should even try - let me explain: The Aussie A team has some test quality batsmen, but not necessarily a test strength bowling attack. England should pick extra bowlers (ie, the ones that are fit and new to the touring party or not showing good form up to now), stick Aussie A in to bat first and they should get two innings of bowling at them even if the game draws.

On potential, a test batting lineup with Stewart, Hussein, Butcher, et al should be able to hold their own, if the bowlers can get amongst the Aussie test squad, so it's really the bowling that needs to be worked over in Hobart, win, lose or draw.

Ado

would Bichel go into the A team now that you'd expect Brett Lee to be back in the test team (10 wickets playing for NSW) ? I haven't seen the lineup yet tho.

Originally posted by andycapp

Err, shouldn't that be buggered? :p :D

We could have done with that on the first day. Might have woken them up a bit. :p

Brett Lee might not play in Adelaide; if he strays off line at his pace, he goes to the short boundaries rather quickly. :ack:

Crap. Oh well, on to Adelaide! The most important question at the moment is who gets picked for the Aussie 'A' side. I would go with...

Trescothick
Vaughan
Key
Hussain
Crawley
Stewart
Flintoff (if not fit then White)
Tudor
Giles
Silverwood
Hoggard

Give the three new arrivals some action, see if they can get anything going in the conditions, particulary the pacemen as it seems we'll really need them on the basis of our performance on day 1. Hoggard and Giles need to play to get some confidence as does Stewart most likley (even though neither dismissal was really his fault). Trescothick and Vaughan should play every single game possible together. Even though they have played together for 10 'ish test's I am sure that partnership could do with some more workng on, and as Tesco's say 'Every little helps'. Also, Flintoff just needs some matches to get under his belt. If he's fit he should be in at no. 7 automatically for the uselessness that is White.

The A team is:
Jimmy Maher (c, Qld, 28)
Greg Blewett (v-c, SA, 31)
Stuart Clark (NSW, 27)
Michael Clarke (NSW, 21)
Matthew Elliott (Vic, 31)
Brad Haddin (NSW, 25)
Nathan Hauritz (Qld, 21)
Martin Love (Qld, 28)
Ashley Noffke (Qld, 25)
Marcus North (WA, 23)
Brad Williams (WA, 27)

(not in batting order)
You may recognize a few names on there. Mainly Matthew Elliott (former australian test opener) and Greg Blewett. maybe also Jimmy Maher, Martin Love (scored 250 odd against england for queensland) and Brad Williams. Brad Haddin is the keeper. So how's englands chances? Note absense of Brett Lee. The Australian 2nd test team will be posted soon.

(ADDITIONAL):
The Australian team is unchanged for the second test.

Aussie A off to a very bad start, followed by a really good partnership.

Haven't seen footage (becoming a theme with my cricket this season!) but Tudor getting Elliott off injured and the first wicket (Maher) says something - not that I'm suggesting he was aiming to hurt Matty, but if he was fired up and bowling accordingly it might mean Tudor could get a test position. White has the other wicket.

Big Love/Blewett partnership not so good for the Poms, although it was all Love (still in on 117, currently 2/197).

Love scored his second double against us but isnt good enough to get in the Aussie team.

Looks like Freddie Flintoff is a goner too now.

Englands bowling attack coming nicely to the boil......not.

Roll on the next test and we'll show what we're made of!!

Extensive research has shown ...

...that the Australians do, and England don't.

:wallbash:

I reckon Love will have to be pushing for test selection for the next tour. Get rid of Lehmann, i think Love could be a good replacement for Mark Waugh. Also, Brett Lee got 7 wickets in the first innings in his Pura Cup Match. They have to select him sometime, is the Perth test after the adelaide one? It's always good to see our up and coming talent, i don't think anyone can say that after this lot is retired, Australian cricket will be weaker.

I think England should tour Bangladesh to get a bit of confidence. They should be able to beat them. Maybe.

So what's the word on Crawley? Has Key been given a chance?

Does this matter a jot?

Not feelling too smug as I got up last night to watch the Twickenam game.

Key hasnt done anything wrong yet. He was picked as reserve opener but is one of the few batsman on our team scoring.

If Crawley is injured then I'm sure Key will be given a chance.

Originally posted by Pillager
Extensive research has shown ...

...that the Australians do, and England don't.

:wallbash:

Now come on, old boy. Stiff upper lip and all that.
Its never over til its over.
We shall fight them on the beaches.
etc

32-31 Tee Hee.

:):):):):):):)

Drop Lehmann for Love? Not going to happen. Love is up there, but is one of many in the queue for test places.

Anyway, England's misery continues. I told them there would be consequences to not selecting Graeme Hick... :evil:

Originally posted by Phillip_martin
So what's the word on Crawley? Has Key been given a chance?

Does this matter a jot?

Not feelling too smug as I got up last night to watch the Twickenam game.

The word is that Crawley is crap.


32-31 Ha! And I don't want you pretending that Union is irrelevant, and that suddenly Cricket and Aussie Rules are the only important sports :p

32-31.



:p

Originally posted by Pillager


The word is that Crawley is crap.


32-31 Ha! And I don't want you pretending that Union is irrelevant, and that suddenly Cricket and Aussie Rules are the only important sports :p

32-31.



:p

Crawley is a humble man, with much to be humble about.

The rugby result would be a more stinging barb if I actually knew the first thing about the situation. Is that the team that Campese plays in?
That Bosnich bloke who got caught with charlie, he's a rugby player, isn't he?

I love it when the Aussies lose at something. So graceful in defeat.

And now back to the cricket...

I was good to see England (or should I say Key) put up a fight in the "Aussie A" game, though I wonder whether they would have been able to snatch a draw in a four (or five) day game against the same opposition.

The bowlers struggled again. I can't really see them making an impact in the second test. The batsmen fared only slightly better if you do not include Key's performance.

Adelaide should be a chance for their batsmen to get some runs. If Trescothick and Vaughn get a start, they should do well with the short boundaries square of the wicket. Though I'm not sure they'll get a start after the secong innings in Brisbane.

Anyway, I looking forward to Thursday coming around quickly, so more "Pommie Bashing" can occur. (Of course most of it comes from the English press.)

Good. I'm glad spirits have lifted. It was looking grim there for a bit. With 90% of the possesion you earned the 1 point win.

Roll on Thursday.

Dont forget your 16th man in black who had a very strange idea of what constituted playing advantage....

Mind you, did you see the Scotland/SA game? Goodness only knows how those two tries for Scotland were awarded. Absolutely shocking decisions.

Excellent... excellent... Keep going...


(PS: Both teams have now arrived in Adelaide)

The word in the papers today is that Goughie wont ever play again - remember where you read it first
;)

Yeah, the Times I think it was. ;)

And no Flintoff for a while, either.

Good thing we've got Tudor and Giles!!! :cry:

Originally posted by Pillager
Yeah, the Times I think it was. ;)

And no Flintoff for a while, either.

Good thing we've got Tudor and Giles!!! :cry:

Unless Giles goes and fractures his wrist or something stupid, which of course is never going to happen.

D'OH!

Yep, Giles breaks his wrist, Hussain breeds.

Any bets on which England player breaks down or gets hurt in Adelaide?

Vaughan, Butcher or Trescothick. Merely because they're the only decent players we've got.

Oh, and Hussain must be due a finger-break soon, surely.

Originally posted by col
I love it when the Aussies lose at something. So graceful in defeat.
hehe, you aren't gonna get anything out of most of us. They only even know what rugby is in NSW and Queensland. We only got AFL down here.

Also everyone says how good Vaughan is, but we haven't seen much from him yet. You'd better hope that our bowlers haven't got him figured out.

Vaughan had a good English summer against fair to mediocre bowling.
Away from the sheltered grounds of home, and against decent bowling, the truth comes out for him and the much vaunted Trescothick.

Vaughan has had major surgery since the summer and that is affecting his mobility and hence his batting. He is a class act but - like most of the team - isnt fit.

Originally posted by col
Vaughan has had major surgery since the summer and that is affecting his mobility and hence his batting. He is a class act but - like most of the team - isnt fit.

How very convenient, a medical excuse. :p
What happened, a failed attempt to implant some guts? ;)

Either that, or ability.


There was some chap on the old wireless this mornin' saying that the Academy will be paying dividends by our next Ashes tour. He seemed to be pretty optimistic. Scared?

Originally posted by Pillager
Either that, or ability.


There was some chap on the old wireless this mornin' saying that the Academy will be paying dividends by our next Ashes tour. He seemed to be pretty optimistic. Scared?

No, quite frankly. They'll still have Stewart and Caddick in the side, as well as Tufnell. :D ;)
You still have a long way to catch up, Academy or not.

No, I didn't think you would be.

Och well, there's always Bangladesh and Canada.

Originally posted by col
Dont forget your 16th man in black who had a very strange idea of what constituted playing advantage....

:confused: I think you are getting Australia and New Zealand mixed up there.....

A couple of dodgy tries that Oz scored came when the ref was supposedly playing an advantage for England!

But meanwhile on-topic, it is hard to see this England cricket tour as anything other than a farce.

I saw Steve Waugh interviewed as saying that if you pick players who arent 100% fit before the tour starts then you're asking for trouble. It's hard to disagree with that.

England have been unlucky with injuries for example to Giles and Crawley that could have happended anywhere. Gough and Flintoff though were never likely to feature, Gough especially hasnt played for a year.

The next test begins in just under 10 hours.

We don't need to make excuses. It's apparent to everyone that there is a large gulf between the two teams both in terms of ability and - yes - in guts.

So, England has had a start and yes Vaughan was a big part of it.

Any sign of optimism from the ranks ???

No, none.

Well, maybe a little. Until tomorrow, when I'll wake up to find us all out for 320, and you lot at 150 for 1.

Well done to the Poms for actually making a decent fist of it on the first day. As Warne gets into it with the pitch aging, things should get even more interesting.

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
Well done to the Poms for actually making a decent fist of it on the first day.

Bloody hell. :eek: :eek:

Originally posted by col
Vaughan ..... is a class act ..

Prophetic words.

Lets try

the England tail bats all the way down providing useful runs
the opening bowlers are threatening and make inroads into the Oz lineup
the support bowlers bowl a tight line and give nothing away
the spinners turn the ball
the slip cordon take everything coming their way
the outfielding is neat and half chances are taken

We might even get a draw then!

Ha! Let's try:

We collapse seeing as our tail starts with White.
We make no inroads into the Oz lineup.
The bowling is OK, but lots of catches are dropped.
The Aussies declare on 500+
Then bowl us all out for 200
They have a target of about 100 in three sessions and go onto win.

:p

I think it's more likely (that) you'll be right than I, Pillager.

(Paying careful attention to grammar)

I dare say that Pillager is the more accurate one.
In the morning, with the quicks fresh, and new batsmen in, it will be a different story. Plus Warne will have more fun with the pitch as the match goes on.
It will be a long time before Australia drop 6 chances in one day again.
Add in Waugh in decent form, Lehmann on his home turf, Gilchrist in rather nice touch, as well as a few blokes named Hayden and Ponting, not forgetting Langer and Martyn, and things should be on an even par fairly quickly.

Originally posted by col
I think it's more likely (that) you'll be right than I, Pillager.

(Paying careful attention to grammar)

:D Awfully good of you, old chap.


Originally posted by S.D.

I dare say that Pillager is the more accurate one.

Oh, I should think so.

We have had many, many years of the above so why not again?

The English team has demonstrated that they can have good days. What they cant do is have several good days in a row.

Their inconsistency is their only consistency.

Well it was good to see vaughan playing well.

I think we could hear some debate about the use of the 3rd umpire for catches, as it obviously doesn't work - and as usual a good player given a second chance makes the most of it. I think Andy Bichel didn't help matters when he appealed for one obviously not out, but I have to say that everyone thought that the Langer catch was a catch.

Not that i'm whinging mind :) Hopefully we'll have a good challenging test, although it's not the England top order that's been their problem. The bowling will be a worry again, and although Dawson looks like he has potential, i don't know how he'll go.

I'd remove all technology from umpiring decisions. I really don't like it at all.

I'll second that.

I'm only just getting used to Third Umpire run-out decisions.

Next LBW decisions will be referred off field :(

Originally posted by col
The English team has demonstrated that they can have good days. What they cant do is have several good days in a row.


4 for 295 at stumps day 1 (not bad)

342 All Out at Lunch Day 2 (everything is back to normal)

We'll have to wait to see how the Pommies bowl to see how good (or bad) the pitch is. I have this feeling that the pitch is a good one, and their bowlers will struggle this afternoon.

What chance 0/200 at stumps on Day 2?

Originally posted by Pillager

We collapse seeing as our tail starts with White.
We make no inroads into the Oz lineup.


Eng lose 6 wickets for 47 runs
Aus 0/81 after 14 overs

Unfortunately you didn't need to consult Mystic Meg for that prediction :blush:

2/125 at tea, with both openers out.
Over a third of the way there in one session. As the afternoon goes on, the bowlers tire, and the benefits of crease occupation will be palpable.
It is quite probable that they will advance patiently, and then cut loose towards the end.

As to the English collapse, it was so easy to predict it is rather sad.

The collapse is a bit disappointing for all of us, I think. I think you need some bowlers that are better at batting too. We have Warne, and Brett Lee when he plays again who can bat. Warne got a 99 last season, and Brett Lee has made a test match 50. gillespie can hang around at the end while someone else makes the run. McGrath is the only real bunny. Having Caddick as a number 9 is saying something.

Originally posted by Pillager
No, none.

Well, maybe a little. Until tomorrow, when I'll wake up to find us all out for 320, and you lot at 150 for 1.

Well, I woke up to find us all out for 342, and the Aussies on 180 for 2.

Not a bad prediction. As mentioned by our Australian cousins, not very difficult to predict...

2/247. Ponting 83*, Martyn 48*.
34 + Celsius for tommorrow in the field. It's going to be a long day for the English. :mwaha:

Shoot me now. SHOOT ME NOW. :cry:

Originally posted by Pillager
Shoot me now. SHOOT ME NOW. :cry:

That can certainly be arranged. Just fill out the appropriate form in triplicate outlining the reasons for your death wish, such as race, politics, fungi, being naughty with a choirboy, etc, etc.:D

Yes, I thought you might step in to the breach. :p

Thanks for the offer, but I'll wait until we're 3-0 down, just to be sure.

Originally posted by Pillager
Ha! Let's try:

We collapse seeing as our tail starts with White.
We make no inroads into the Oz lineup.
The bowling is OK, but lots of catches are dropped.
The Aussies declare on 500+
Then bowl us all out for 200
They have a target of about 100 in three sessions and go onto win.

:p

And the Aussies declare on 542/9 or similar. My predicition is proving to be rather accurate. Prepare now for a traditional England collapse.

And here it comes - Hussain bowled by Bickel in the final over.

36 for 3. :nono:

Why the bloody hell did I bother getting up early for this??

I blame Pillager.

He wrote the script.

And now it is all over. :mwaha:

England all out for 159, before tea on the fourth day losing by an innings and 51 runs.:goodjob:

Which is rather pathetic, considering being 295/3 towards the end of the first day.

If only the English cricketers played as hard as the Barmy Army did last night. :D :beer:

Originally posted by col
I blame Pillager.

He wrote the script.

Don't blame me! It was even worse than I predicted.

God, it is so depressing. Not for the first time, I get up early to listen to it, but it's already finished. The only positive is Vaughan's continuing good form. Talk about small mercies...

:suicide:

(You may not believe me, but I actually wanted to see a 5 day test match)

............England are rabble and five nil would be just! :p :D

And no, poetry is not my forte. :D

I have noticed a number of articles in Australian newspapers talking about this being the strongest Australian XI ever - which I disagree with.

The other topic of interest is how this Australian side would fare against a World XI if the match were played at Lords - I think the Aussies would win. :goodjob:

That depends how many English players would be in the World XI :p

Originally posted by andycapp
The other topic of interest is how this Australian side would fare against a World XI if the match were played at Lords - I think the Aussies would win. :goodjob:
I agree, but i don't think the result would be the same if it was played in india - with good selection.

Originally posted by Pillager
That depends how many English players would be in the World XI :p

On current form, none of the bowlers.
I doubt that Vaughan and Trescothick would really be considered as the best non-Australian openers either.
No-one else would be considered for a world third XI..

Well, Bret Lee has been selected.

Bring. It. On. :evil:

Third time lucky ?

No, probably not.


Take. It. Off. :cry:

Another day, another massacre - that is my prediction.
And the word out is that it is a very fast WACA wicket. With Lee is stunning form, as well as two chaps named McGrath and Gillespie, there should be some action. :yeah:

Well England have the fast bowlers to put the fear into ..... er the square leg umpire.

Our batsmen aren't too bad against short pitched bowling - and anything on a length will go over the top. Its the pitched ball that our batsmen are incapable of defending - and the fast wicket wont make any difference!

Our bowlers on the other hand will all bowl too short and get hammered.

Excellent. I wake up just in time to hear White fall for 2.

An unsurprisingly bad 122 for 6.

The end is night 159 for 8 just after tea. Brett Lee on fire.
Sound familiar? :D :evil:

But wait - the tail are fighting back. 174-9.
We could even reach 175 at this rate.

:(:(:(:(

185 all out.

Could be a good time for a poll.
How many sessions will this game last?
4,5,6,7,8??

And the first day finishes with the hosts only 59 runs in arrears, with eight wickets in hand. This is just woeful. It's even too bad for humour. What an awful, awful performance. Again.

You know, I remember a few years ago when it was explained the NZ didn't qualify for playing 5-test series because they were not good enough. Ironic really, considering how NZ faired when they last toured Australia. :hmm:

I'd give England 3 out of 5.

They'll lose a 5 day test in 3 days and will lose a 5 test series in three.

:suicide:

NZ did well last time, and made good use of weather. Just a couple of questions:
Does anyone stand to challenge Australia? - especially on home soil?
Should England just give up and go home? I think so, they're a long way off us if we can beat them in one innings. I don't think that they can draw many positives from the tour thus far.
Also what did you think about the performance of the Aussie Tail? I've mentioned it before, but good scores to Warne and Lee, and a nice innings by Gillespie does significantly help the team. A score of 400 plus with no one in 3 figures.
Finally, Brett Lee or Andy Bichel? My mind is made up :D.

And it is all over. The Ashes are won in less than three days.
Steve Waugh's prediction on injuries occuring was also correct. :evil:
Brett Lee is back. The team is playing exceptionaly as a unit, with the world's best batsmen - Hayden, Ponting, Gilchrist, among others, and the best bowling attack.
5 nil looks likely.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for? A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was English? A. An all-rounder.

Q. What is the main function of the England coach? A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. Why is Darren Gough the unluckiest bowler on tour? A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What's the English version of a hat-trick? A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't English fielders need pre-tour travel injections? A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the English version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.

Q. What do you call a Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler.

Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common? A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Little Johnny was in his kindergarten class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman. Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men." The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and took Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father working in a gay strip club?"

"No," said Johnny, "he really plays Test cricket for England but I was too embarrassed to say."

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was English? A. An all-rounder.

Since when does a player have to be English (born) to make their team?


Mind you, I thought "World-XI's" were normally selected from the best players. :)

Well, there we go.

Very droll, Lampshade. May I take this opportunity to thank you, Bobgote and your compatriots for your support and sympathy over the last few weeks. It has been greatly appreciated. :p

We really do feel very sorry for you. Well at least we might be if it wasn't us that you were playing. Still, a crushing victory isn't quite the same as one where the other side actually has a glimmer of hope and are only beaten by a determined effort. We'll give you our sympathy next time you tour bangladesh or kenya.

We'll need it.

I don't think we played well enough to deserve respect or sympathy, just the utter thrashing that we received.

At least we still have the Ashes. :p :lol:

Follow the link, and scroll down to line underneath the second photograph in the story. The reporter is obviously slightly bitter....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/the_ashes/2535267.stm

Bah! Angus Fraser interviewing a man with no neck. How very apt Small would be in the side: One neckless fast bowler and ten spineless team mates.

Angus Fraser? :crazyeye: :p

Operating under a pseudonym obviously. Can't you see the parallels between the boring, moaning style of the piece, and Herr Fraser's bowling style? :p :D

Well, that could be applied to any English bowler - the piece is devoid of action, pointless, and the wrong length. :yeah:

Todays eclipse will give South Australians a glimpse of what it's like to be an England cricket supporter.

In the dark, cold and hopeful that the sun will shine once again.

:( :(

Yes, it is Dark in the Shade

Originally posted by Phillip_martin
Yes, it is Dark in the Shade

Indeed. :evil:

And now they lose to NSW and Australia A.
Can England get any worse?

Of course. :yeah:

Here ya go Simon :mischief:

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade


Indeed. :evil:

And now they lose to NSW and Australia A.
Can England get any worse?

Of course. :yeah:
they could always lose to the PM's XI :D

so warne is out. of course it won't make any difference in this series, but hopefully he'll be fine for the world cup. england could give sri lanka a run for their money, or at least a brisk walk. I'm debating going to the boxing day test, but its at least $25 and half the stadium isn't there anyway.

Its not quite The Ashes (so technically I'm spamming :D ), but I must ask where AllHailIndia is, just when I want to gloat :)

Originally posted by bobgote

they could always lose to the PM's XI :D

so warne is out. of course it won't make any difference in this series, but hopefully he'll be fine for the world cup. england could give sri lanka a run for their money, or at least a brisk walk. I'm debating going to the boxing day test, but its at least $25 and half the stadium isn't there anyway.

You have the choice, and you're not sure whether or not to go?! :eek: Blimey, I'd kill to go to the Boxing Day Test.

What's your address again? :evil:

Is that $25 per day? - so that would be $75 for the entire match then?



{who didn't see that coming) :)

Originally posted by ainwood
Is that $25 per day? - so that would be $75 for the entire match then?



{who didn't see that coming) :)
heheh yeah.

anyway, i don't really have much in the way of cash, and the MCG is only half there ATM anyway. i might go, but prolly not.

Why oh why do I stay up to watch these games. Another day of watching our bowlers get hammered to all parts.

No-one would bother predicting anything any more.

Ah yes, such a lovely day. 100s to Hayden and Langer, with the latter 146* overnight, and Steve Waugh back in the groove with a very aggressive 62*. 3/356 with more to come. It is so one sided one almost feels sorry for England. Almost... :evil:

Well at least I'll be spared watching Warne run through the batting this test.

Yes, now you can watch Macgill instead. :evil:
If Brett Lee leaves him any intact batsmen. :mwaha:

Ok, now I see, what, 180 for 7 in reply to 551/6 declared. Anyone actually think they'll make it into day 4?

At times like this I am very happy to point out that I am not English. :)

England actually won a game!

OK, they lost 4-1 in the series, and the Aussies were understrength for the last Test, but at least they stuck at it. 4-1 is a lot less humiliating than 5-0, after all.

Maybe it shows what an impact McGrath and Warne really have. Without them the Oz bowling attack looked a bit different.

I said Vaughan was a class act :)

Vaughan was very good. Ok, so you have one who would make a world team :D. I did think Lee stepped up well, and he was very unlucky. The last 30 or so runs of the english innings shouldn't have occurred. He will be a very good bowler when McGrath has to retire. I thought MacGill was hopeless too. Should've gone with someone else. And whoever it was said that Australia should've gone 5 bowlers with the depleted lineup (think it was Mike Atherton) was right. Noffke could've been good, and hogg should've been the spinner. I just hope McGrath and Warne in particular are back for the world cup. Gillespie too, but we have other fast bowlers who can take his place.

But anyway, what they said was true. England would win only if all their players fired, and Australia were tremendously unlucky and suffered injuries.

col - what did you think of Simon Jones (what you saw of him) cos everyone here was very impressed. also when will he be back?

Originally posted by bobgote

col - what did you think of Simon Jones (what you saw of him) cos everyone here was very impressed. also when will he be back?

He had a good season here last Summer and is regarded as a good prospect. He has real pace but tends to spray it around a bit. He has heart and is a real trier. Always capable of getting hit but also capable of getting out good batsmen. Regarded as a good potential strike bowler - used in bursts to rough someone up. As a bonus he can bat a bit too - a good clean hitter - in the Gillespie mould. A useful guy to have around.

Last I heard his prospects weren't good and they were talking about him missing a good slice of the English season.

Now thats the series is over I dont think anyone would disagree with the justice of the overall result. Its absurd that South frica are now rated #1. Australia are so far clear of the rest of us It isnt funny.

Their batting lineup gets better all the time. They all are capable of big innings and sell their wickets dearly. Apart from their last test where their standards of fielding were as low as I've ever seen, they caught most stuff and fielded well. Their bowling is the best all-round attack in the game. It was noticeable that McGill is good but not in the same league as Warne. McGill always gave the batsmen a free boundary every couple of overs. Warne bowls much tighter and creates pressure. McGrath is still the best around.

For England, Vaughan has moved on and would get in any side. Trescothick was disappointing. I think he can do better. Needs to improve his shot selection and move his feet more when driving. Hussain and Butcher did about as well as they could. Key had a couple of good innings in minor games but couldnt step up in the tests. Foster isnt ready to take over from Stewart yet who is still worth his place. Crawley still isnt a test player in my opinion.
The bowling went as I feared. Caddick doesnt have enough good days. Harmison and Anderson are young and have potential. Spin is non existent.

On a good day we can match anyone but Australia. We are still some way back from them.

:goodjob: Steve Waugh. What a player and what a captain.

Originally posted by bobgote
Vaughan was very good.

col - what did you think of Simon Jones (what you saw of him) cos everyone here was very impressed. also when will he be back?

Gotta agree with bobgote on both of these comments. Vaughan was clearly the class batsman of the English team, though he needs to improve his fielding skills.

Simon Jones really did look impressive in his short stay. I also thought that Steve Harmison bowled well at times without luck. He has got some potential there. I though Caddick really struggled, even though he took 20 wickets for the series (including the seven in the last innings where he was a little lucky on a few decisions). But England will still need him to play for the next few years.

As far as the batting goes, apart from Vaughan england looks a little light on. Hussain will have to start scoring more than just 50's if they are going to win more matches. I thought he captained fairly well, especially with the quality of bowling that he had at his disposal. :goodjob:

For Australia, Hayden, Ponting and Gilchrist continued to pile on the runs. :thumbsup: England semed to have worked Martyn out and he struggled. Langers 250 was really his only only decent score, though he was getting the team off to some flyers, scoring really quickly. Love and Lehmann only played bit parts as the damage was mostly done by the time they got in. And of course, who could forget Mr Waugh (soon to be knighted for services to Australian Cricket :p ).

As for the bowling, McGrath and Warne showed their class. Gillespie bowled really well at times as did Lee and Bichel, but they are still backup bowlers to McGrath, who just continues to keep it tight and strangles the batsmen out. MacGill probably has a better wrong'un than Warne, but bowls too many bad balls, whereas Warne has the ability to tie up one end and forces the batsmen to hit out at the other, and losing their wickets in the process.

Oh Well, I'll take 4-1 anyday. I predicted 3-1 at the start of the series, but the weather in Melbourne enabled the Aussies to get the extra win (I predicted a draw caused by rain delays).

Onto the the remainder of the VB series and then the World Cup. Hopefully Warne, McGrath and Gillespie will be right. :beer:

See ya in the World Cup Forum.

Whoever said Australians aren't sporting?
Not only do we let the English have a win, but when one had the opportunity to run over Carl Hooper and his wife and child whilst they were crossing the road the other day, one let them live, so the Windies have a better chance in the series there.
Which is a fairly rare thing for one to do... :evil:

Well done on the win.

For a change I was riveted for 5 days. As I was in Sydney for the New Year period I had to resort to ABC radio after day 2.

Too many highlights to comment on. My only regret was that Australia didn't get closer to the required runs to put the icing on the cake of a memorable game ( I still remember where I was when Alan Border and Geoff Thomson almost won us the boxing day test in .....uuuummm. 82????).

Roll on world cup....