I was thinking about an interesting hypothetical the other day, suppose you were in possession of a mysterious machine which would create an alternate version of any movie you liked with the content (language, violence, sex/nudity, etc.) changed as per your specifications with only minimal changes to the movies plot. Everything else would stay the same, same actors etc it would just alter its "bad" content.

What movies would you like to see and with what changes?

Some of my picks:

1. Star Wars (R+)
I think the original Star Wars trilogy with drastically increased violence and sex could be quite amusing to watch. We could rewrite the battles as realistic gritty fights like more modern movies. Han and Leia could go all the way instead of one measly kiss in episode 5, and the slave girl scenes in Jabba's palace could be spiffed up a lot too.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean (R)
Given the material it wouldn't be hard to add a little more sex/violence and mature it up a bit, which in a lot of ways could make it much better.

3. Kill Bill (PG)
For the lulz, a PG version of Kill Bill would be hilarious to watch!


Probably others not springing to my mind right now, what would be some of yours?

you could just watch porn, you know....

though that doesn't work for your Kill Bill idea I'll admit.

Star Wars with modern technology, techniques, acting, and a direction other than Lucas'. Hey, I liked the Dawn of the Dead remake better than the original, I can live with a non-Lucas Star Wars.

I give you Top Gun Recut as a love story. :D
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I'd put hardcore sex in every PG-13 film. But that's just me :)

Actually it's the lack of realistic violence that gets me now days. So in a way I'd rather see violence than sex (there's always porn if I wanted to watch sex). If anything, I think the unrealistic violence in movies is responsible for more violence in america. As it doesn't show the consequences of violence. I would like for films to be more gritty and show the consequences of violence. One of those is much more blood. I'm not talking ridiculous fountains of blood like in 300, but realistic portrayal of blood.

When Luke's hand gets cut off in Empire Strikes Back I'd like to see that thing gushing blood (though you could argue the light saber cauterized the wounds, but that's kind of weak).

And some films like Basic Instinct don't go far enough. Flashing beaver isn't all that shocking. She should have started masturbating right there. That would have been shocking. No way they could conduct an interview during that.

When Luke's hand gets cut off in Empire Strikes Back I'd like to see that thing gushing blood (though you could argue the light saber cauterized the wounds, but that's kind of weak).In the original movie Ben Kenobi cut some dude up and blood gushed about. I prefer the cauterizing myself because those are laser swords which are presumably very, very hot.

Speaking of realistic portrayals of violence, I've been watching the old Die Hard films and find that the ridiculous fiery grenade explosions ridiculous. There're also those action movie silencers (like those still seen in modern action shows, like, say, 24) that are just ridiculously ridiculous. Those could really use fixing.