Whenever she is in a game, she 'pledges to protect' every city state I encounter. How does she get to the status when she can protect (friends) in the first few turns of the game?

What difficulty are you playing on?

Whenever she is in a game, she 'pledges to protect' every city state I encounter. How does she get to the status when she can protect (friends) in the first few turns of the game?
"Pledging to protect" & actually doing it are very different things. You can easily 'Pledge' to impress the City State, but they get uppity if you don't come through.

So the thing to check is whether she actually does protect all the City States she appears to have pledged to.

hit the wrong one and she could wipe you off the map with the horde of longbowmen she'll be spamming