rilnator
Feb 04, 2003, 01:59 AM
I was in Odessa at the time for the opening of a new supermarket, when early one tuesday morning one of my aides shook me awake.
"Sir, sir- its the Zulus, they've captured Sverdlovsk!!!"
Talk about being jolted awake! Still half asleep I put my pants on and asked for more details.
"They attacked about an hour ago- it was all over so quickly sir, they've already taken the city, sunk a battleship, a transport and killed Admiral Vortaski"
I put a cigarette in my mouth, letting what I had just heard sink in and said "is there anything else I need to know?"
"Yes sir" he said quietly "your wearing your wife's pants".
"Oh...ta, go make me a cup of tea"
Sverdlovsk was a product of what hard working Russians could do when they put there mind to it. It was or Hq, Eastern Armed Forces, a tiny Island that I had put considerable time and money into. It seems one of there battleships was badly damaged in the attack and we had a couple of subs out looking for it.
Admiral Vortaski was a very lucky man; if he had'nt died in combat He would have ended up in front of a wall in Moscow for this neglect of duty. Oh well there was no use crying over spilt milk I spose, I could always get his family. I rang all my senoir generals and told them to get themselvs down to Odessa ASAP. there was going to be a meeting that night.
We were on the western Side of a large continent, England was to our south, The Chinese to our near east and the Zulus the far east. For about a thousand years now the Chinese had been our friends and allies, they acted as a kind of buffer between ourselves and those evil Zulus. While eating my coco pops that morning though I made a decision that would change History- they would have to go! they were a mere 5 or 6 cities and any contribution they could make to a war against the Zulus would be negliable. They could better serve us by coming under our occupation and acting as airforce bases. and whats more I'd always had a crush on Mao's daughter and with the old man out of the way I'd finally get my chance.
The meeting began that night at about 1900 and I expressed my wishes to all those present, needless to say there was a large gasp when I told them of my desire to wipe China off the map.
"They are treacherous scum, they have been in bed with the enemy and are of no possible use to us! I have known this for a long time". I declared triumphantly.
Phelgmikov, always by my side piped up "But sir, only last week you publicly declared: Quote :They are the best and dearest of friends, they are on our side and shall always be, They are our strong right arm that we cannot do without, this is something I know now, and always will".
I don't quite remember what I said at the Dinner ending the Chinese-Russian friendship week last Saturday but it was something probably to that effect.
"Well then looks like you've got quite a job ahead of you explaining this to the Russian people." I sneered at him. He looked notably distressed.
I locked myself away with the heads off all the armed services while the propaganda, intelligence and foriegn ministers all went off with their respective aides and attaches. This was the first war meeting we'd had in about 250 years and I was loving it.
Legs apart, hands on hips I said "I want to be there when the first troops arrive to liberate Sverdlovsk!"
Phlegmikov :"But sir didn't Zukhov just say It was to be a paptroop operation?"
"Fine then I'll arrive at the airport the moment its been captured!"
"I think they said its been destroyed sir"
"then on a transport!"
"The last one was sunk this morning remember- thats why we're using the paratroops"
Somewhat exasperated by this point I asked "Well how can
I get to Sverdlovsk to let the Russian people know I'm fighting from the front? The Sverdlovskians (or whatever they're bloody called) will be wanting to see their leader- they love me!"
There was more than a moment of awkward silence which I didn't care too much for. Finally Phlegmikov spoke up again
"I think the Russian people would be happy to know you are nice and safe and directing the war with your expertise sir."
That Phegmikov sure was a smart man. "Right you are Plegmikov- now go and get me a Quarter Pounder meal!"
"Yes sir".
"With bbq sauce!" I thundered after him.
"Yes sir"
The Meeting wrapped up around 3am just after new came in that one of our sumarines had sunk their fugitive battleship, just shy of Bapedi. the attack to liberate Sverdlovsk would begin in one turn, to destroy the Chinese in 2, and to allow for the developement of advanced flight and the refitting of our chinese army the Attack on the Zulus in 7 turns hence.
I pulled out the vodka and we toasted Russia, and then me and then the t-34 and the beautiful girls of Odessa (a few had rocked up by this point) and then we toasted.....
I woke up the next morning and my head was pounding, I don't quite recall how the previous night ended but I vaugly recalled ring mao and telling him what I though of his country, their food and his mother- amongst other things.
I lit a cigarette and realised the pounding wasn't coming from in my head, it was coming from outside!
Had I slept for 2 whole turns and was now witnessing the attack on China? No! I was in Odessa, southern Russia, I was closer to England than China!
I stepped outside and just as I did a fighter with obvious English colour flew low overhead. Uh oh......Ididn't ring Buckingham palace last night when I was smashed on vodka did I???
DID I???
"Sir, sir- its the Zulus, they've captured Sverdlovsk!!!"
Talk about being jolted awake! Still half asleep I put my pants on and asked for more details.
"They attacked about an hour ago- it was all over so quickly sir, they've already taken the city, sunk a battleship, a transport and killed Admiral Vortaski"
I put a cigarette in my mouth, letting what I had just heard sink in and said "is there anything else I need to know?"
"Yes sir" he said quietly "your wearing your wife's pants".
"Oh...ta, go make me a cup of tea"
Sverdlovsk was a product of what hard working Russians could do when they put there mind to it. It was or Hq, Eastern Armed Forces, a tiny Island that I had put considerable time and money into. It seems one of there battleships was badly damaged in the attack and we had a couple of subs out looking for it.
Admiral Vortaski was a very lucky man; if he had'nt died in combat He would have ended up in front of a wall in Moscow for this neglect of duty. Oh well there was no use crying over spilt milk I spose, I could always get his family. I rang all my senoir generals and told them to get themselvs down to Odessa ASAP. there was going to be a meeting that night.
We were on the western Side of a large continent, England was to our south, The Chinese to our near east and the Zulus the far east. For about a thousand years now the Chinese had been our friends and allies, they acted as a kind of buffer between ourselves and those evil Zulus. While eating my coco pops that morning though I made a decision that would change History- they would have to go! they were a mere 5 or 6 cities and any contribution they could make to a war against the Zulus would be negliable. They could better serve us by coming under our occupation and acting as airforce bases. and whats more I'd always had a crush on Mao's daughter and with the old man out of the way I'd finally get my chance.
The meeting began that night at about 1900 and I expressed my wishes to all those present, needless to say there was a large gasp when I told them of my desire to wipe China off the map.
"They are treacherous scum, they have been in bed with the enemy and are of no possible use to us! I have known this for a long time". I declared triumphantly.
Phelgmikov, always by my side piped up "But sir, only last week you publicly declared: Quote :They are the best and dearest of friends, they are on our side and shall always be, They are our strong right arm that we cannot do without, this is something I know now, and always will".
I don't quite remember what I said at the Dinner ending the Chinese-Russian friendship week last Saturday but it was something probably to that effect.
"Well then looks like you've got quite a job ahead of you explaining this to the Russian people." I sneered at him. He looked notably distressed.
I locked myself away with the heads off all the armed services while the propaganda, intelligence and foriegn ministers all went off with their respective aides and attaches. This was the first war meeting we'd had in about 250 years and I was loving it.
Legs apart, hands on hips I said "I want to be there when the first troops arrive to liberate Sverdlovsk!"
Phlegmikov :"But sir didn't Zukhov just say It was to be a paptroop operation?"
"Fine then I'll arrive at the airport the moment its been captured!"
"I think they said its been destroyed sir"
"then on a transport!"
"The last one was sunk this morning remember- thats why we're using the paratroops"
Somewhat exasperated by this point I asked "Well how can
I get to Sverdlovsk to let the Russian people know I'm fighting from the front? The Sverdlovskians (or whatever they're bloody called) will be wanting to see their leader- they love me!"
There was more than a moment of awkward silence which I didn't care too much for. Finally Phlegmikov spoke up again
"I think the Russian people would be happy to know you are nice and safe and directing the war with your expertise sir."
That Phegmikov sure was a smart man. "Right you are Plegmikov- now go and get me a Quarter Pounder meal!"
"Yes sir".
"With bbq sauce!" I thundered after him.
"Yes sir"
The Meeting wrapped up around 3am just after new came in that one of our sumarines had sunk their fugitive battleship, just shy of Bapedi. the attack to liberate Sverdlovsk would begin in one turn, to destroy the Chinese in 2, and to allow for the developement of advanced flight and the refitting of our chinese army the Attack on the Zulus in 7 turns hence.
I pulled out the vodka and we toasted Russia, and then me and then the t-34 and the beautiful girls of Odessa (a few had rocked up by this point) and then we toasted.....
I woke up the next morning and my head was pounding, I don't quite recall how the previous night ended but I vaugly recalled ring mao and telling him what I though of his country, their food and his mother- amongst other things.
I lit a cigarette and realised the pounding wasn't coming from in my head, it was coming from outside!
Had I slept for 2 whole turns and was now witnessing the attack on China? No! I was in Odessa, southern Russia, I was closer to England than China!
I stepped outside and just as I did a fighter with obvious English colour flew low overhead. Uh oh......Ididn't ring Buckingham palace last night when I was smashed on vodka did I???
DID I???