David Patsula Courtesy of Rick Mercer from "This Hour Has 22 Minutes" CBC
Television (satiric public affairs comedy show)

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.

He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on he people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that
was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.


And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

We went to war with Britain, the most powerful country in thw world at the time, in the war of 1812. Not Canada, which by the way was a COLONY of Britain.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

Oh man, you guys have more trees than the us, Canada is a great country (can't get more sarcastic than this) because they have a lot of trees! AND, your insulting our WOOD! The most prized possession of The United States. Without our wood, we wouldn't have a third of the worlds money like we do now!
EDIT: Oh wait, we would still have a third of the worlds money.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

Don't all the players from your Olympic team train almost year round in the U.S.? A little thing called the NHL?

ahh that was fun :D :D :D

while on the subject of apologiseing id like to apologise, on behalf of all white people, to all black the people for that nasty 500 years of slavery, oppresion, murder, etc., id like to it was really evil, bad, naughty, and a not at all nice thing to do, and we're really sorry and we won't do it again.

Originally posted by Johann MacLeod
while on the subject of apologiseing id like to apologise, on behalf of all white people, to all black the people for that nasty 500 years of slavery, oppresion, murder, etc., id like to it was really evil, bad, naughty, and a not at all nice thing to do, and we're really sorry and we won't do it again.

Considering that the thread starter was using satire and sarcasm, I don't think that this is the most appropriate place to say that, as it might be poorly inerpreted...

I'm guessin' this ain't gonna make it past AoA

on the subject of apologising id like to apologise for that last apology, the writer was disallusioned, what with being a drunkard and having problems at home. so deepest sorry to anyone offended by the previous, distasteful apology, now back to canada! (i would also like to mention what a wonderful human being AoA is)

Originally posted by Johann MacLeod
(i would also like to mention what a wonderful human being AoA is)
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Ahhh..I love Rick Mercer....

AoA's human? I thought he was some sort of diety :worshp:

@newfangle: i would just like to apologise for Australia's humiliation of Canada in the Cricket World Cup being held in South Africa as we speak...

I'd like to apologize for our Sea King you called into service for "anti-terrorism" duty in the Persian Gulf having a little problem on the way, and turning back. It was an accident.

I'd also like to apologize for the fact our Sea Kings now appear to be missing night vision capability, making them useless to help in your nocturnal operations. We can't seem to meet our commitments, lately. It was an oversight on our part, and we'll be researching the problem thoroughly and exhaustively.

I would also like to apologize in advance of any flat tires or broken air conditioning that might affect our otherwise eager participation in your military operations.

oh dear, i think i turned this into a thread for apologising for very silly things...

Don't all the players from your Olympic team train almost year round in the U.S.? A little thing called the NHL? No, actually our winter olympic athletes spend the majority of thier time training in CALGARY. But somehow I'm not surprised you didn't know that.

He meant the hockey team with all its players evolving in the NHL. He's still wrong thought.

quote
___
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
_______

uhm just one comment i thought that was the royal navy, shrug.

This thread is a flame war waiting to happen

Ellie

It was Britain who burnt down the Whitehouse!

Don't take away our greatest excuse to silence a Yank in a slanging match!

:lol:

That's...amusing:D

If this is meant to be funny its in the wrong forum.

Otherwise, I reaks like troll in here... making it worse it was a reprinted troll... not even an original work. Are we getting lazy?

I'd like to apologise for all the people who completely missed the point of this thread's simple irony by taking themselves too seriously.

I'd like to... but I'd be lying since my idiot tolerance threshold has always been fairly low.

Originally posted by Greadius
If this is meant to be funny its in the wrong forum.

Otherwise, I reaks like troll in here... making it worse it was a reprinted troll... not even an original work. Are we getting lazy?
They have been doing this for years, it's what they do best. Lighten up.:D

I miss This Hour Has 22 Minutes :(

funny, but probably in the wrong forum, if you ask me....

I'd like to apologise for taking all of your professional sports franchises because you can't afford to pay the players.

I'm sorry you posted this here, it belongs in the Humor forum....moved.

Very funny.

And the reactions are just as funny as the initial post. Makes me believe that people misinterpret on purpose.

Originally posted by Ghandi



Don't all the players from your Olympic team train almost year round in the U.S.? A little thing called the NHL?

OF course, because there are no NHL teams in Canada... :rolleyes:

It's not like the Montreal Canadiens, Toronto Maple Leafs and Ottawa Seantors don't hold the top three spots for the number of Stanley CUps won :rolleyes:

It's not like the GMs coaches and scouts on all NHL aren't Canadian as well.
:rolleyes:

I'm sorry that political correctness has gone too far. I'm sorry that people nowadays have to take everything so seriously.

I'm really serious about political correctness. I recently went on the Krypton Challenge (a confidence-course at a NZ Army - Army? - base). On the permission slip (I'm still at high school) it described the various activities, including a firepersons pole. Whatever happened to the good old fireman's pole, that has been traditional for many a year? Political correctness run amok.

Originally posted by Dralix
I miss This Hour Has 22 Minutes :(

What do you mean? Its still on!

I would like to apologise for the following apology. It was done during the light of the day and not the dark of the night and so please judge it accordingly. The apology in no way represents the views or opinions of the person apologising except for the parts where it does. Those reading this apology should realise that an apology for the apology is considered funny and should laugh accordingly. If laughter is not produced then seek medical attention. If medical attention is seeked and not produced then seek the attention of the medic. For further uses of the word apology see below. That concludes the apology for the apology and so onto the apology. An apology for the apology for the apology follows the apology which was preceeded by the apology for the apology.

I would like to apologise to those of you who reached this far. I would like to apologise on behalf of my nation for refering to the French as some sort of military incomptences who surrender at the first sign of trouble. I would also like to apologise to those whose joke writers now out of a job. I would like to apologise for constantly refering to the British Empire as the greatest Empire the world has ever seen. There have been some very good Empires, the Roman Empire for example. These Empire deserve their share of the Empire credit and the fact that the British Empire was the largest of them all should not be used against them. Neither should any other factor who proves the superioty of the British Empire over all other Empires since this would be unfair by the use of facts. I would like to apologise to the man I actually pushed on the street yesterday. I hope you win your court case against the London sewer people and, of course, learn to walk again. I would like to apologise to calling Chirac a thief because as we all know he has not been convicted of this...yet. I would like to apologise to the Germans for always bringing the two World Wars into any argument in which I am losing and/or winning. It is not fair to bring up the way we defiantly stood up against the might of Nazi Germany alone for six months in what was our 'finest hour' to win an argument about who has the best right-sided fullback, especially when I am arguing for Gary Neville. I would like to apologise for ignoring the claims of the anti-war protesters about me not listening to their arguments. I would also like to apologise for the other things they said I did. And finally I would like to apologise to the various wildlife I have insulted throughtout my life. From the incredibily stupid animals such as the Dodo or the Moose to the extremely very incredibily stupid animals such as the politicians or the lawyers. You don't deserve for me to recognise your stupidity then somehow work that into a joke aimed at generating laughter at your expense. No animal deserves to be laughed at no matter how many times it flies into a window in the bizarre belief that it can pass through glass. I would like to apologise for any apologises that you think I should have made but haven't.

This is an apology for the apology about the apology. I'm sorry.

:lol:

USA takes not only players but doctors too