Fade to a starry universe.

CIVILIZATION...THE MOOOOOOVVVIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

THROUGHOUT THE ANCIENT WORLD, VARIOUS PEOPLES HAVE BEGUN THEIR QUEST TO BE THE MOST GLORIOUS EMPIRE. IT IS NOW THAT THEY CHOOSE THE VARIOUS PATHS THAT THEY WILL...TAKE! THE ADVENTURE BEGINS; WITNESS THE CIVLIZATIONS STAND THE TEST OF TIIIIIME!!!!!!!

A man looks around at the jungle all around him.

Tokugawa: Aw nuts! Restart!

CIVILIZATION...THE MOOOOOOVVVIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

THROUGHOUT THE ANCIENT WORLD, VARIOUS PEOPLES HAVE BEGUN THEIR QUEST...

Military advisor runs into palace

MA: Great one, we're under attack! If you had only let us build Swordsman, we'd NEVER be in this mess! C'mon man, let's-

Tokugawa: I'm not gonna argue anymore, helmet-head! You and your crazed Spearman can just kiss my bass!

MA: But sir, France is attacking us!

Tokugawa: Let 'em have it! I don't care! is hit on the head by a rock

MA: Poor great one. He had the nerve to bash nationalities.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quickly, add more scenes! :D

Tokie: Ahh! I am under attack!

Trade Advisor: (looking sad) This never would have happened if you would have traded them extra spices! (sad)

Tokie: Shut Your Face B****!

(tokie throws a grenade at tradey)

Social Advisor: India Has Declared War on You!

Tokie: What, they have a low agression level?

(tokie whips out gun and commits :suicide: )

Social Advisor: Well, now what?

MA: Restart, silly...

restart:

CIVILIZATION THE MMMMMOOOOOVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE

THROUGHOUT THE ANCIENT WORLD, VARIOUS PEOPLES HAVE BEGUN THEIR QUEST TO BE THE MOST GLORIOUS EMPIRE. IT IS NOW THAT THEY CHOOSE THE VARIOUS PATHS THAT THEY WILL...TAKE! THE ADVENTURE BEGINS; WITNESS THE CIVLIZATIONS STAND THE TEST OF TIIIIIME!!!!!!!

Athens is founded in 4000 B.C.

Washington D.C. is founded in 4000 B.C.

Rome is founded in 4000 B.C.

Paris is founded in 4000 B.C.

Moscow is founded in 4000 B.C.

London is founded in 4000 B.C.

Greeks: what a crappy place.... nah! (Later) AH! Found a hut, lets pop it... hmmm, Paris ain't THAT far... so What to reshreach... AH! I'll build Hoplies and reshearch Iron Working, because I see Paris builing cities just were I want them...

Originally posted by 123john321
Greeks: what a crappy place.... nah! (Later) AH! Found a hut, lets pop it... hmmm, Paris ain't THAT far... so What to reshreach... AH! I'll build Hoplies and reshearch Iron Working, because I see Paris builing cities just were I want them...

Athens builds Hoplite

Paris builds Settler

Moscow builds Warrior

Washington D.C. builds Scout

London builds Barracks

Rome builds Spearman

(Should I keep this up?)

Oh, were doing THAT eh? Alright...

Athens builds Setter

Paris builds warrior

Moscow finds Pottery from hut, and builds setter

Washington D.C. builds setter

London finds Bronze Working in hut, builds spear-man

Rome builds setter.

(At this time in the movie) Me going to the manager for a refund!:lol:

Rome builds jet fighter.:crazyeye:

joe: go back to 4000 bc!

andrew510: sorry!:crazyeye:

athens builds hoplite

paris builds settler

moscow builds grainery

Washington D.C. builds grainery

london builds warrior

rome gets iron working from hut

athens builds hoplite

paris build city walls

moscow builds warrior

new york founded in 2050 bc

london builds settler

rome connects to iron, they can build legionairy now

CIVILIZATION THE MOVIE

featuring

Arnold Schwarzenegger as the spearmen-that-defeated-the-tank

Toky: Hey! I lost another tooth! I'm a big boy now!

Tradey: I see spices over there!

Toky: Build a road to it! My pizza's disgusting without spices!

Military: Sir! Caesar of Rome is here to see you!

Caesy: Greetings! I am Caesar! Shall we trade?

Toky: No way! This is MY pizza! And you can't have it!

Caesy: Fine! Then you know what I'll do? I'll... I'll... I'll become ANNOYED with you! Take that!

Toky: Whatever.

Tradey: We have found a source of Ivory. We traded it to Rome for Iron!

Toky: WHAT!?!?!? That Ivory was Tusky my pet elephant! You lousy little stu... Hey, Iron! Oooooh! Shiny! :crazyeye:

in rome:

ceaser: i get tired of spearmen, lets build legionary:evil:

milatary: as you wish, great one.

trade: we found some ivory, lets build a road.

ceaser: sure, go ahead

tokY: no, bad ceaser, my ivory.

ceaser: not anymore, dude! legionarys!

sargent soup: yes sire! will get ride of this evil named toky! :evil: :ar15: :ar15: :soldier: :tank:

toky: argg! well, well, well, i will, declare war!

ceaser: kill him.

sargent soup: lets use toky as a target!

troop1: oh yeah!:evil:

troop2: yes!:evil:

troop3: do it!:evil:

Toky: Eek!

*Toky runs under the table and sucks his thumb*

Caesy: ATTACK!!!

MA: Toky! Caesar has taken Edo!

Toky: Oh Caesar buddy! Come Heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeeee!

Caesy: What you loser! Have you failed to see my superiority over your not-superior people? And that you are a big, lousy...

*Toky whacks Caesy with a pie and runs away going "nuck nuck nuck"*

Caesy: GET HIM!!! Mmm! Cherry!

Toky: :mwaha: MINE EVIL PLANS WORKING! :mwaha: now, mr sicneice guy

SA: My name is 'Sid'.

Toky: whatever, can you intven something I can use this to kill the evil Caesar: :sheep:

SA: no, but how about this: :ninja: ?

Toky: me likely, but...

SA: but will need to goto the next age.

Toky: When is that?

SA: don't you read the dumd sritps???

Toky: no...

Caesar: i heard that!

toky: those f**king romans! "bang!"

SA: toky dares bash nationalites, how premature.

ceaser: sargent soup! use the super stolen ninja!

sargent soup: yep can do :ninja: :ninja: :ninja:

Caesar: i heard that!

toky: those f**king romans! "bang!"

SA: toky dares bash nationalites, how premature.

ceaser: sargent soup! use the super stolen ninja!

sargent soup: yep can do :ninja: :ninja: :ninja:

Caesar: i heard that!

toky: those f**king romans! "bang!"

SA: toky dares bash nationalites, how premature.

ceaser: sargent soup! use the super stolen ninja!

sargent soup: yep can do :ninja: :ninja: :ninja:

Catherine the Great to Tokugawa: Gimme 1 gold per turn or we declare war !
Tokugawa with a sigh: Accept this small token in the name of peace.
Gatherine the Great - irritated: Oh... just one, we ment three gold...
Tokugawa: Oh, three? Then three must have been. My hearing is failing me theese days.
Catherine with an angry face: So, you do agree to pay us five gold per turn?
Tokugawa: Well, you see, five would be quite a strain on our eceonmy, but so be it...
Catherine - furious: How dare you! Russia will not stand for such insults... (Russia declares war)

Foreign Advisor: So what do you think goes best with my hat? Blue or red?

Toky: *sigh* Red, I guess.

FA: Oh, goody! I think I'll wear this dress when we get to the Middle Ages, and then...

Toky: They said he was all the rage, but I didn't know he was all the rage for -

FA: SAY, Toky-woky, do you want to go ou-

Toky: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

FA: Gosh man, I was only wondering if you wanted to go outside into the fresh air. You look pretty pale.

Toky: Uh, I do?

FA: Not before you screamed, but now you do.

Greece bombs the whole world with ICBMs:nuke: :rocket2: :rocket2: :soldier:

ceaser: oh, so we have currency now?

SA: yep, and i have just decided what to where.

ceaser: what?

SA: to your speech, of course!

ceaser: what?

MA: it's the new era, middle ages!

MA: and i can build you some pikes, pronto!

ceaser: sure, go ahead

MA: troops! line up! :soldier:

toky: wha wha wha! i want the middle ages! :cry:

MA: ceaser, its your birthday! :bday:

ceaser: pathetic toky:lol:

citizens of rome: :worshp:

toky: Is there anyway I could kill ceaser?

MA: Sadly, no, you'll need PtW for that, and we would have to restart...

Toky: :cry:

MA: Oh for crying out loud, your than...

toky: Mr Cross-dresser?

FM: THAT NOT MY NAME! MY NAME IS MICHEAL JACKSON!!!!! :mad:

toky: no you're not

FA: yes! :mad:

toky: NO! But anyways, can we steal are way into middle ages?

Ceaser: I HEARD THAT! TROOPS!!!!!! :mad: :soldier: :tank:

Toky: :cry:

*Toky loses his last city to the Romans*

Toky: Ouch

Caesar: Ha! I have won!

Toky: We shall meet again!

*Toky is a stabbed with a spear*

Toky: OW!!! Never mind!

Caesar: So Master Tokugawa, don't like that spear gently embedded in your gut, eh?

Toky: Well, I wouldn't say it is gently embedded-

Caesar: SILENCE! You have caused me too much annoyance for me to like you. So you shall receive no mercy. *removes spear*

Toky: Oh no, not that, anything but that-

Caesar: Yes...YES!!!! *pokes Tokugawa repeatedy with a newly sharpened No. 2 pencil*

Toky: WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then Abe's Knights come and take's Tokyo; Toky escapes the cluches of Ceasar and goes off to found a new Civilization: Babilonians.

All of AI: Hey Human players are not allowed to return as new civilizations.

Toky, now called Xercsies (sp?): You do It all the time, I wanted to give it a try...

Caesar:HAHAHAHAHAHA u will give up wont u?!

Toky:Ya okay i guess

Caesar:HA once again, i have vanquished another civilization!! now its time for my sweet victory dance!
[dance]

Toky: "if only i could grab that #2 pencil i could get him back with awesome revenge!! :)

Caesar: Now if if i can just get my guards....

Toky:YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!:mwaha:

Caesar: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!:( WHY did u do this i was gonna have u be a slave but u had to stab me with a pencil didn't u didn't u!!!:cry:

Toky: Yeah i guess u could say that.

Caesar: Well u know what? I'll tell u what. (pause) Well i can't think of anything right now but I'll come up with something.

I WANT MY MOMMIE!!!!!!!

ceaser: this is my body gaurd, toky :tank: :tank: :tank: :tank:

toky: what the f**k?

ma: i built them, there knights!

toky: wha wha wha!!! i wan the kinghts :cry:

London Founded 4000 BC
Babylon Founded 4000 BC
London Build Temple 3000 BC
Babylon Build Warrior 3000 BC
London Build Granery 2500 BC
London Destroyed 2500 BC

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<Romans at war with Russians>
Scenerio: Russians with Moscow left while the Romans are conquoring the world.

Caesar: "Our troops are approaching Moscow, do you wish to sign a peace treaty?"

Cath: (Annoyed): "I guess we have no choice, go ahead and put something on the table..."

Caesar wants: 3092843 Golds (Per Turn)
Moscow
Ivory
Russian Workers
Peace Treaty
Caesar offers: Peace Treaty

Cath: (Furious) "Urrrrgh! I don't want to do this, but the Russian people have no choice. We'll give you what you want -- this time! But we will never forget what you did to us!"

Millitary Advisor running into the Palace of Rome...

MA: "Great one, your sire, we have gained control over Moscow and the Russians are destroyed!"

MA: "Your sire, Caesar demands our supply of horses or he'll declare war with us!"
Cath: We have a strong military, don't we?"
MA: "Yep, we've got 40 warriors -- against Caesar's 10 tanks, Gandhi's 20 infantries, and Alexander's 30 nukes!
Cath: Then let the war begin!
...

MA: Terrible news, sire, Caesar is approaching Kuibyshev!"
Cath: Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!
...
MA: Terrible news, sire, Caesar has signed a alliance treaty with India! Now we're at war with India also!"
Cath: Didn't I tell you before, I'm trying to sleep!!!"
...
MA: Terrible news, sire, Caesar has signed an alliance treaty with Greece! Now we're at war with Greece too!"
Cath: For the last time, -- Shut up about it!!!!!!"
...
MA: Terrible news, sire, Caesar has conquorord Kuibyshev!
Cath: Kuibyshev? Gee, talk about dumb names! let him have it, i didn't want it anyway."
...
MA: Terrible news, sire, Caesar has conquored Rostov, Gandhi has conquorored St. Petersburg and Minsk, Alexander has conquorored Tbilisi, Sverdlovsk, Smolensk, Astrakhan and Yakutsk!"
Cath: Well, how many cities do we have left?
MA: Only Moscow!
Cath: How's our military?
MA: We've only got 2 warriors left!
Cath: MA, I command you to kill our enemies, now!
MA: You mean... you want me to go in war?
Cath: Yes!!!! Now get out of here or i'll have you saying goodbye to your precious head!"
MA: Yes, ma'am..."
Cath (continues sleeping)

Science Advisor: "Terrible news, ma'am, wake up! our warriors and MA are all killed by a Roman tank, the Romans have conquorored Moscow! We're doomed!"
Cath: (Speechless...)
SA: And Caesar demands you to get out of "his property" now!
Cath: What about my bed?
SA: (Clearing throat) ... and that too.

Roman SA: "Emperor, a new age has begun!"
Caesar: "What age is this advisor?"
SA: "Modern Times sir, and we have discovered computers, ecology, and synthetic fibers."
MA: "Sir, we have plenty of gold, we should build modern armor."
Caesar: "Then it shall be done."
MA: "Also, intelligence says that Egypt is weak towards invasion."
Caesar: "And Cleo owes me something from my last trip... Let the wars begin!"

MA running into palace: "Sir! Bad news! Evil Caesar declared war on us! And we only have some warriors against them!"
Toky: "Build some infantries!"
MA: We don't have rubber!
Toky: Build some cavalry!
MA: We don't have any salt!
Toky: Build some horseman!
MA: We don't have any horse!
Toky: Then build some longbowman or spearman!
MA: That takes too long, it'll take 40 turns to make a spearman!
Toky: Hurry production!
MA: Sir, we're broke!
Toky: F**k! Give me a sword, i'm going to kill myself!
MA: Sir, some more bad news, we don't have iron. Maybe you'd like to use this rope instead."

EK, :lol: :rotfl: That one takes the cake! :rotfl:

Delete, please

well, I liked how it melded from Tpky to my boy Caesa' as the main character, and hero, but otherwise... I hope to see what happens to our good friend Caesar in the (hopefully better) sequel...:D

next up, Civ3 THE MOVIE-Caesar- spaceships or modern armour?

Well seems like that post just ruined this thread.

SA: Sir, we've come to a new age --- the Modern Age.
Toky: Oooooh, now I can wear new clothes!!!!!!! What kind of clothes did you got for me? *anxiously*
SA: Mr..... Mr! If you would just stop barking like a dog!
Toky: Sorry, sorry, I am just too excited!!!!
SA: Here, sir, this is called a "T-Shirt".
Toky: So simple yet so brilliant, does it stand for Toky-Shirt?
SA: Um... actually....
Toky: Let me try it on, I can't wait!!!!!
MA: Toky, what the hell is that you're wearing, you look really ugly in it.
Toky: I DON'T HEAR THE WORD "PRETTY"!
MA: Sorry, you look PRETTY ugly in it.
Toky: ....

Nice Thread pretty funny please continue....