(Kudos to anyone who gets the title)
Seeing the sensless violence of the destruction of the City of Chicago has brought new ideas to me and my fellow citizens of Penguin. Word had reached us that the cultural elite of that city had created a new form of artistic expression, Jazz. I am now undergoing an attempt to revive the tradition so that it is not lost forever. I am taking refuge in Penguin with my followers, who I am now calling "Beatnicks". We will don berets from France in protest for the cruel destruction of the city by the French and recite poetry while playing Jazz. Some of us will be protesting war by creating sensless art, which we will be dubbing "Dada". This will all be taking place in Penguin. Any other people who wish to join me, they just have to Take the A Train to the Palace of the Antartic. Bring your own instrument.

Make angry love to the fish!

Peace

After shoking the world with his retreat to his lavish palace,
Sir SaaM the Reedy has announced that The City of Penguin is quote, "The Most Happening City in Fanatika." While scholars and musicians alike debate the meaning of "happening", citizens have been flocking to Penguin with instruments, bongos and odd poetry. Many have taken to the streets dancing while recting verses.
Said Professor Pindleton of Penguin U, "This place is alive. We can release our feelings of oppression to a society dominated by war and be free to create!"
Added the Professor, "Ive seen the best minds of my generation, ridin' horses, shootin guns. Bang Pow Bam Zoom. Give peace a chance, man."
The professor followed this quote by screaming widly and jumping into a interpretive bongo solo. Sir SaaM the Reedy joined in with him on the oboe, then sang, "AND ALL.. THAT.. JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!"

:rolleyes:

Keep going, this should be...err...."interesting." :)

Penguin, 1555 AD
Along with his followers, Sir SaaM the Reedy and his son, Angry Piano Pig, have taken over Penguin. They now control the city.
Stay tuned to see what happens to this... odd city. Reports tell of a giant Peanut sculpture being erected in the center of the city, carved out of crutons.

I guess "interesting" was the right word....

Master Stuck_As_a_Mac, you are on the border of losing Jedi status. Don't keep this up without Council approval.

Not to much, Vanir reserves to the right to move in and put down this illegitimate uprising. We will restore a proper government if need be, Sir SaaM.

This is Cupertania. This is all we own. We are the owner. We are the Mayor. We are the Governor. We are the Lord of this estate. Let us continue our uprising so we can be free to create.
Viva La Resisitance!

This is your final warning. Submit now to homogenous and sensible rule by people who do not speak in rhymes, or be subdued by Vanirian peacekeepers.

Originally posted by Grandmaster
This is your final warning. Submit now to homogenous and sensible rule by people who do not speak in rhymes, or be subdued by Vanirian peacekeepers.

Grandmaster, please remain calm. This is being settled by the Council.

@Stuck- Give the masters a chance to vote. If you have at least 50% of them supporting you, then the Council approves of your actions. Don't ruin your chances.

Penguin: 1555
The dadaists have gone to the Jedi Council for there support. We hope to be recognised by The Force.

DaDa dADa UBer AlLieS!

Uh oh. Looks like we may have a civil war on our hands...

Huh, I should visit this forum more often:lol:

Penguin, 1575
The giant peanut is done! Long live dada! Long live crutons. In celebration, the dadaists have started throwing bowling balls off the top of the cruton beast. In the holes of these balls there are flowers.

No one who had the slighest idea what was going on could be reached for a comment.

Now for a history lesson.
The REAL Dadaist movement.
Dadaism came about during and after World War One. The reason I launched it now is due to the advent of Panzers. Marcel Duchamp is the father of American Dada. He created his "Bicycle Wheel" out of a wheel and a stool. This was the first piece of dada art. Dadaism was a form of protest against a society which saw war fit, similar to that of the warmongers of Fanatika.
A sample of a dada poem:
SAMPLE POEM
DADA is a virgin microbe
DADA is against the high cost of living
DADA limited company for the exploitation of ideas
DADA has 391 different attitudes and colours according to the sex of the president
It changes -- affirms -- says the opposite at the same time -- no importance -- shouts -- goes fishing.
Dada is the chameleon of rapid and self-interested change.
Dada is against the future. Dada is dead. Dada is absurd. Long live Dada.
Dada is not a literary school, howl.


--Tristan Tzara

The author of this poem is the woman who created the European Dada movement in Switzerland. She also picked out the word Dada, which means hobby horse in French.

Now, when I use dada here, it is going to be a combination of bizare poems, odd pieces of art, and stories of Cupertania.

Until Later,
Sir SaaM the Reedy.


DADA IS DEAD! LONG LIVE DADA!! DADA IS VICTORIOUS OVER ITSELF!!

Cyc smiles and puts down his newspaper. Dadaism has been born. Interesting.

Having packed essentials for his trip to his new Gubernatorial post, Cyc grabs a couple items and heads out the door to the train station. A quick trip to Penguin won't hurt anyone...

After a blazing course down the rails through Zimt, and the mountains, and finally arriving at the Coastal city of Penquin, Cyc emerges from the train in leather fringe and beads. He heads downtown...

As he watches from the taxi, Cyc is amazed at the colors and comotion displayed in the city. The unity of the people in the streets, official or civilian. It appears to be some sort of Renaissance. Ha! A celebration of human spirit amid the tradgedy of war.

Professor Cyc now finds himself wandering through the crowds around the Peanut sculpture. Completely caught up in the feastive atmosphere, he starts a corner of the crowd in a rough chorus of "History will teach us nothing".

What a weekend this has turned into...

Sir SaaM, you decorative Panzer has arrived. Enjoy. :)

Ah yes, the Panzer is here!
Cupertania is the first house to have its very own Panzer. This shall never be a weapon of war. It will be part... of an art display!
It has come to my attention that Professor Cyc has arrived in Penguin. Yes, we are undergoing a cultural renaissance. Yes, at the same time we are building a factory. And yes, were the source of all these pigs with cupid wings on them being hurled from catapults.
Soon, the Peanut sculpture will have a second part. It wil have... a giant metal mouth hovering ontop of it. You see, the peanut represents man, being eaten alive by the monstrosity of. But me telling you this is anti-dada, so, that makes it Dada.

Anyways, feel free to take some of these cows and plumbing supplies. The art show will soon be here for all to see the joys of Dada

Man, its quiet in here..
Well, weve built out giant mouth.
Now, as our next act, The Dadaists have plans to declare war on... ART!
Yes, the art menace must be stopped. We dont dig lookin at these odd sculptures and paintings. They way to faaaaaar out. Dada must be destroyed by Dada. Dada will not rest until it kills itself. Death to Dada! Long live Dada!

The wierd thing is that I find myself understanding this whole dada thing...

The voices! The voices! The rational government of Vanir reminds SaaM the Reedy that, with or without Council permission, we will undertake action to defend Penguin from the raging Dadaist forces if such slaughter of the Fanatikan Language continues.

Sir SaaM the Sensible talks with his trusted advisor, Mr. Oinkkums
SStS: How much damage have my son and his friends done to my poor city?
Mr. Oinkkums: Not much sir, in fact, their Giant Peanut and Mouth has pushed the factory ahead of schedule, and I hear that they may be asking Domestic for a rush job on it
SStS: Domestic supporting a rush on a 5spt city? Like that'll ever happen.
Oinkkums: Stranger things have happened..Like this province being in your family for over 1000 years now...
SStS: Oinkkums! Take that back!
Oink: Sorry, Wesley...
SStS: I told you to never call me by my first name!
Oink: Alright, Alright... Weirdo... no wonder your kid's taken over the city by means of art...
SStS: Im standing right here, Oink. I can read the size one. Anyway, round up the troops , call my friends in Vanir and bring the TV... We've got a city to reclaim
Well, It looks like Wesley Don't call me that! Sir SaaM the Sensible... and Mr. Oinkkums have a plan.. What does this mean for Sir SaaM the Reedy and Angry Piano Pig? Stay tuned

A note: youre all welcome to join in, as long as you stay within the tech rules and dont do anything to stupid (like sieging a city using Jazz... ;) )

It was early in the morning when Grandmaster, Prince of Vanir, received the call from Sir SaaM the Sensible in Penguin. His forces were being mobilized to retake the city from the Dadaist rebels, and he was imploring Vanir for support. The Prince could refuse his good friend.

GM: I will send support immediately. I have just the right unit, too. Sierra Force, the crack Vanirian anti-artist special forces. They're trained to deal with even the most dangerous artists and musicians, and have just received a secondary training course on dealing specifically with the Dadaists. They can hide amongst the rebels (they are uniformed in berets, paint-stained coveralls, and have goatees), and can move quickly into the theatre. I will have them deplyed to Penguin ASAP. Is there an open field near the city? Yes? Good. I will airdrop my men immediately. Goodbye.

With a word, the order goes to Sierra Force. They suit up, ready their bongos, saxophones, and paintbrushes, and board the air transports. There are 16 operaters in 2 planes, plus support personal who maintain radio contact and supply them with their specialized anti-artists equipment. Within 20 minutes, multi-colored parachutes were floating men down about 1 mile outside Penguin. They entered the city to infiltrate the strange underworld of the Dadaist subversives.

* Cyc wakes up in the Town Park across from the main square. He notices there are two sun-bleached blonde cuties nestled under each arm, sound asleep. Content, he checks the sky to see if some revolutionary is still able to make pigs fly.

Hmm. No pigs, but what are those...Looks like paint-stained parachutes...A bunch of them too...

Ah, well. Too much excitement for me..."Wake up girls, time to go. Elections are probably over and it looks like the revolution might be too." Realizing that he has Gubernatorial duties to attend to, Cyc quickly heads for the Train Station and books passage to Oil Springs. What a weekend!

Sir SaaM the Reedy senses something
My father! And hippie troops! They have arrived!! We cannot let them reclaim the city. I fought long and hard to take this from my father, even though I would have just revieved it from succession!
Sir SaaM the Reedy calls up to the top of the Peanut
Open.... THE MOUTH!!!
The giant mouth opens. Out of it comes... A giant tomato hurler.
Attack! Get the decorated Panzer out! Go, go go!!

Its odd controling both side of the story. And GM- I said stay within tech rules. We dont have flight or advanced flight. Please call off your imaginary warriors.

SaaM: Flight is within one tech, making it legal. Come on, give me some leniency, how about if I just fly in the forces instead of paradropping them. That is legal, I believe. And the tech rule applies to game-based units, and to be frank I somehow doubt that beatnick counterterrorist airborne units fit ANYWHERE in the game. ;)

Okay... okay... The paratroopers can stay.

:)

Grandmaster: You have attacked a member of the Jedi Council. Remove your forces immediately or face hostilities from the Council.

I have launcher no attack. I am moving peacekeeping forces in support of the legitimate ruler of Penguin, Sir SaaM the Sensible. My men are not even armed with firearms; only saxophones and paintbrushes. I will help put down the rebellion without violence by appealing to the Dadaists' sense of artisticness. They won't be able to resist working on the Giant Urinal Statue my boys are erecting outside of Penguin. And once they have exited the city to work on the project, we will hose them down with paints and neutralize them with loud jazz music. It is no concern of the Council. However, should the Council choose to fight, I will authorize the use of far more "effective" force in the form of Vanirian regulars who will be utilizing heavy equipment. Do not overstep your bounds, Zarn... this is an affair between legitimate Cupertanian and Vanirian forces, and illegitimate rebels.

Zarn, it was I, Sir SaaM the Sensible who asked for and authorized the Attack. I am a Jedi, as is my son. Consider this a Jedi Duel and file it under those guidelines.

Aha! Step off Zarn. ;)

Allright, I have seen your backpacks and Stuck's approval. You have full support from the Jedi Council (That is if the other master don't over ride me). May the Force be with you.

The Sierra Force operaters had disappeared into the mob of Dadaists. As night fell over the city, several slipped out in paint-stained ninja suits and set up a tent outside the city. When morning broke, the tent was down, and in the middle of the clearing stood.... a GIANT URINAL. That's right, a statue of a giant urinal, towering 15 feet tall and its white porceline shining brightly. The Sierra Force operaters withdrew, leaving their creation in the open for all to see. Meanwhile, high above the statue, a modified Vanirian bomber carrying powerful cameras and radio equipment, kept a silent vigile, always watching the statue.

Morning breaks. The dadaists are amazed by the new statue. They praize it, a pure work of Dada. Whoever built this must have been a dada scholar, of course making them a total moron. Whoever it was, this Urinal is a work of art! And out from it, spring vibrant, multiple colored... urinal streams... It is beautiful
Reedy: Let this be known as... Der uRInAL
Meanwhile...
SStS: A giant urinal! Are you sure your forces havent been comprimesed?
Grandmaster: No, Im positive. This is all part of the plan....

Okay... what kind of plan involves a urinal?

A very clever and comically relieving one... ;)

As the Dadaists stand in awe of the statue, the Sierra Force operaters step out from the crowd. They knod to eachother and start playing smoothe jazz really loudly on their saxophones. The corwd turns and stands transfixed. They continue to play, and an operater gets up on the giant urinal.

Operater: People! Listen carefully! You are now in the custody of the Confederation of Vanir! You will put down any artistic items you are carrying, and remove your berets. Any failure to comply will result in the initiation of aerial bongo bombardment. Aircraft are overhead as we speak, ready to start playing annoy and repetitive bongo rythms! Surrender now, or be subjected to terrible bongo warfare. Do you understand?

Sir SaaM the Reedy steps forward. Nobody knows what he'll do, now that the Vanirians have him trapped....

Grandmaster, you may have my hammer and chisel. Make good use of it.

:confused:

Sir SaaM the Reedy, Seeing as he is outnumbered and out bongoed (bongoed? This has got to be the most absurd civil war ever...) realizes he has only one chance to survive the saxaphone wielding madmen.
RELEASE... THE SPEAKER!!!
Out of the giant peanut comes.. a speaker (grandmaster: radio is one tech away too :) ) A giant speaker, bigger then the tomato toting mouth. Sir SaaM the Reedy is thrown a microphone. From the chain around his neck, he pulls off a Hard Density Oboe Reed
BEGIN.... PETER AND THE WOLF!!
Yes, the weapon known as bad music starts playing. Reminding all that the Oboe was the duck, Sir SaaM grabs his oboe, thrusts the reed into it, and plays one long, continuous note.
DEREREREREREEEEEEDADAFFAFSDDAGHASDFGDHSDAFSGHJKSGF HJKGHJDSFGHJKJ
It is nothing like anyone has ever heard before. It shatters the glasses, breaks windows and makes the Vaniran troops run in terror.
"Thats why I use Medium Soft.." The valiant Oboist says with a smirk.
The city is still theres, but for how long. Sir SaaM sends his most level headed advisor to go work out peace with Vanir, his other son, Sir SaaM the Mellow.

Yes, Ive introduced yet another character. We have:
Sir SaaM the Reedy. Dadaist leader, current captor of Penguin.
Sir "Wesley" SaaM the Sensible. Father of "Reedy". Wants his city back.
Sir SaaM the Mellow. Unhip scientist son of "Reedy". More interested in books then jazz. Most likely will take over after Sensible if Sensible resumes control.
Other Characters:
Angry Piano Pig: Pure Dada son of Reedy
Mr. Oinkkums: Advisor of Sensible

OOC: The tech law dictates that we can go one tech ahead of the current level. Thus flight and radio are allowed.

The Sierra Force operatives withdraw, but soon regroup. They call in the heavy artillery: 5 circling bombers modified for Operation "Daddio Thunder." They began unleashing their relentless assault with heavilly amped-up bongos over loudspeakers. Meanwhile, a flight of fighters roars in at top speed. Several canisters fall from their wings. Some run, fearing they are bombs. But they burst in midair and release.... paint! Multi-colored paint rains down, covering the Dadaists. However, one canister does not airburst. It strikes the Giant Peanut and explodes, sending out a wave of... French dressing! Yes, French dressing, the ultimate anti-crouton weapon! The Sierra Force operaters charge into the crowd, saxophones blazing. Many of the Dadaists collapse under the relentless aerial bongo bombardment. Nobody knows what will happen next.

Meanwhile, back in the Marillion, Grandmaster is receiving an update of what's going on with Operation Cupertanian Freedom. The "shock and awe" campaign is going well, and the ground battle is on.

After a long hard night observing the construction of the Bavaria and Penguin Rail Electrification. CivGeneral decided to visit Sir SaaM the Reedy. He boards in a Desel Train bound for Penguin (Remember, the route between Bavaria and Penguin is still being Electrified).

All of a sudden, two dozen eagles blaze out of the setting sun into a mysteriously parting rain of paint. They land to disgorge their riders and wait at their landing zone for their return. As the party approaches, it appears to be... Elves out of the jungles of Eldarinórë, led by a tall, wise-looking Man. Upon approaching the leader of Sierra Force, he speaks. (Á la the blasphemous scene in TTT)

Noldodan: Hello. I am Noldodan, leader of these Elves of the forests of Aldar Nin, and I offer to you any services that we may render.

At this point, the men of Sierra Force notice that the Elves are equipped with all manner of artistic and musical supplies for use against the rampaging Dadaists. There are many paintings of fair nature scenes, and materials to create more. There are also instruments of the classical type, harps, fifes, and more, even a Baby Grand. (OOC: These weapons are meant to conduct psychological warfare against the Dadaists, by making perfect sense and inspiring yet more awe) The soldiers also see the weaponry the Elves carry, longswords, staffs, longbows, and Noldodan has a curious staff, one with a blade on the end.

Noldodan: I see that you have not seen the like of this weapon. It is called and ashanderei, and may be purchased at the price of 150g from Strider. Now, do you accept our help?

Sierra Force leader: Well... you seem rather lightly armed in this age of rifles and artillery. You would be slaughtered if they Dadaists had weapons. However, because they are not, any help that you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

Noldodan: Excellent. In that case... (turns around and shouts) Okay guys! Start it up!

Immediately the Elves begin fanning out into the crowd, brandishing paintings and harps. The Baby Grand also comes into action, played by a tall willowy Elf. The already confused and terrified Dadaists only become more and more confused and terrified...

Elves.. Playing Tchaikovsky.. Odd.. But, seeing as this town is a cultural center, anything goes...
A. Dadaists: Welcome, Elven brethren! Please, fell free to comunicate with us artistically. All we ask is that you lay down your weapons.
Old Man Elf: But surely you wouldnt deprive an old man of his walking stick...
Sir SaaM the Reedy walks in
Reedy: Do I look that stupid? Ive seen the movie.
Sir SaaM takes the stick
Reedy: Oh, its just a walking stick... Here you go... Sorry

The elves have been accepted into the society. But now what?

CivGeneral arives at Penguin Station, He noticed that Sir SaaM is waiting for him on the Platform

CG: Stuck, I have came

Stuck quietly aproaches and escourts CivGeneral to a Secret location

Sir SaaM: Please follow me to my secret chamber in my Home

CG: Lead the way

[i]Stuck leads CivGeneral to his house

In desperation, the Sierra Force get on their radios and call in the heavy anti-artist artillery (hereby referred to as AAA.) The arial bongo beats cease, but are replaced in a moment by the one kind of music that NOBODY, no matter how nonsensically attached to art, could mistake as such:

Bomber Loudspeaker: You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The operaters are forced to wear thick solid-steel earplugs to protect against the debilitating effects of the rap "music." Weapons of mass destruction had been banned from use against soldiers by the Geneva Convention, but the Dadaists were not soldiers. Many fell to the ground and began curling up and shaking uncontrollably. Cries of "the pain!" and "make it stop!" erupted from the quivering shells of human beings. Only Jam Master E, the infamous Elf Rapper, was uneffected.

Sierra Force Operater (abnormally loudly because he can't hear himself through the headgear): Surrender now, or face 6 weeks of continuous bombardment with every Eminem and/or 50 Cent CD ever made!

Soon as the Music starts he noticed that Sir SaaM goes crasy as the Rapping Bomber flies by

Sir SaaM: Arg I cant take it anymore!!! CivGeneral, why arent you trembeling over this Loud Music

CivGeneral: Years of working on a Steam Train you kind of get used to it, Oh You might need these

CivGeneral hands Sir SaaM some Earplugs

CivGeneral: Luckly I had a Spare with me.

OOC: You just HAD to ruin my fun, huh, CG? :p

Originally posted by Grandmaster
OOC: You just HAD to ruin my fun, huh, CG? :p

OOC:GM I have yet to discover who am I being escoured by. If it is the Evil one, then I will trick him, If he is the good one then I would help the good one

OOC: Works for me. :) I was just hoping that nuking SaaM with some Eminem (c)rap would bring him to the bargaining table quickly. ;)

NOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT RAP!!!!!
Reedy: Oh, come on, thats too evil. Not even my father would do that. That has got to be unlawful somewhere...
Mellow: Loophole, Dad! Loophole! We still have Cupertanian Soldiers here! Its against The Barvarian Convention of 1100!
Reedy: Good thinking son... Quick, everyone! To my sound proof practice room
(Yes, I have one. Check my Acroma transaction)
Various Dadaists: Thank the great angry Avacado!
So, the Dadaists have fled to the Palace of the Antartic
Sensible: TURN DOWN THE MUSIC!!!
Suddenly, the music stops
Sensible: Thank you.
Sir SaaM the Sensible has reclaimed the majority of Penguin. His estate, however, is still under Dada control. With the music (the music, the music!!) gone, will the Dadaists go to reclaim the city? Will Sensible and Reedy come to a compromise, making Penguin a Dada friendly, but normal city? Who knows...

As CivGeneral is about to give Sir SaaM (Mysterious) the Ear Plugs, he discoveres that it is Reedy. Luckly CivGeneral swaped the Ear Plugs with Ear Phones

Grandmaster: No CG!!, Dont Give him Thoes!!

CivGeneral gives the cloked Sir SaaM (Mellow), The "Modified" Ear Plugs. Then CivGeneral pulls out the Tape of The YMCA and plays his Tape Player

Mellow: Arrg, More Un.. ..Holy.. ..Music. Not... ..The YMCA!

Grandmaster: What the? YMCA?

CG: No worries, I just tricked him

Mellow runs off into the darkness

Grandmaster: Come CG, Ill show you to the Real Sir Stuck. Sir Stuck the Sesible

CG: Thanks, Oh and Ill show you something

CivGeneral escourts Grandmaster to a Box Car in his Train and pulls out a Metal Case

Grandmaster: What is it?

CG: Lets just say, a Remix of our Favorate candy
CivGeneral winks to GM

The Sierra Force has one more trick up its sleeve. A circling bomber drops a box that contains.... an Armor Piercing Record Player! That's right, a record player encased in solid steel with an armor-piercing point! Speakers with immense amplifying capabilities protrude flush with the steel casing. On the back is a powerful artillery-shell propellant canister. The Sierra Force operaters force their way into the Palace of the Antarctic, and find the soundproof room.

SF Leader: Watch out! On my mark, this thing is going in!

The propellant ignites and pushes the stereo system through the soundproof wall. By radio remote, the SF operaters hit a button and...

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The Dadaists are now trapped in the room with the stereo.

OCC: Rockets? Where did they come from? Ill take the planes... But rockets?

OOC: Dude, rockets have existed since medieval times... would you feel better if it was a ballistic propellant like gunpowder or high explosive?

yes

In the Bomber

CG: Grandmaster! Use this

CivGeneral hands Grandmaster the Metal case. Then CivGeneral unlocks the Case and pulls out a tape

Grandmaster: What is that?

CG: This is a Remix of all of Eminem's Recordings

CivGeneral takes the Metal Case and Hands Grandmaster the Remix Eminem Tape

Grandmaster: Thanks

CivGeneral watches as Grandmaster places the tape in the last armor-piercing rocket-propelled battering ram Thingy with the Eminem Remix CD in it, and watches it Flies to the Bunker
(OOC: THis is where your Eminem Remix comes in play :) )

Prince Eklektikos stands upon the golden sands of the Penguin beach, shaking his head at the absurdity of the battle raging around the city and wondering....

































































...How anyone could, even for a second, imagine that radio-friendly whiteboy rap could pose the slightest threat to the mind-buggeringly awesome power of thrash jazz ;)

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

lol
and very Dada spaces.
Thats it! Ill chalange the devitiave of Jazz to Jazzathon. Jazz shall prevail over Rap!

OOC: SaaM, should I stick to yesterday's decided ending? I'll write it that way, and call me off if you want to change it.

The Dadaists couldn't stand the (c)rap any more. They offered up SaaM the Mellow to Sierra Force as a peace negotiator. The proceedings began to end the uprising in Penguin.

SF Leader: Sir SaaM the Sensible, Saam the Mellow, we are here now to discuss the terms of a peace between the opposing factions of Penguin. It is the full intention of Vanir that this treaty be a full surrender on the part of the Dadaists.

Mellow: That is unacceptable. We will surrender only conditionally.

SF Leader: Very well, what are your conditions?

Mellow: We wish for art to be allowed to continue to exist in Penguin. We wish to be allowed to build statues, and perform our music and poetry.

SF Leader: And the pig-flinging and strange language?

Sensible: I demand that such nonsense end.

Mellow: Alright, we agree not to fling bizarre objects or speak strangely.

SF Leader: Good, we are decided on that. Now here are the terms that Vanir demands. The Dadaists will disarm entirely. That includes disabling the tomato-thrower in the Giant Peanut.

Mellow: Agreed.

SF Leader: The Dadaists will not in any way resist any decree by the rightful government of Penguin, headed by SaaM the Sensible.

Mellow: OK.

SF Leader: Good.

Sensible: Then there will be art AND order. Is it over?

SF Leader: Yes, peace has been restored in Penguin.

All sides sign the document, ending the conflict. The terrible (c)rap is stopped, the bombers return to base, and the Sierra Force boards a transport that has landed on Penguin's Main Street, ready to return to Vanir. The battle is over.

It may be over governmentally, but not in this dang room!

Noldodan: NOOO!!! Not... RAP!!! Must... get... out...

(OOC: here is where the Elves save the day :D) As the blaring sounds of Eminem, Lord of the (c)Rap (The Elven name for him) pummel the Dadaists, the Elves, immune to the sounds through extensive conditioning, search for a way out of the room. The obvious solution comes to mind: the holes left by Armot Piercing Tape Players. Jam Master E lets out a loud, piercing eagle call, letting the Elves' mounts know of their masters' plight. The eagles swoop into the room, load up with Elves and poor Noldodan, and fly out, Dadaists slipping from their paint-drenched wings. And as they fly out of sound range, a voice calls back...

Noldodan: Thats what you GET for making them play Eminem!

Reedy: What am i going to do with a lot of tomatoes, eggplants, cucumbers, lettuce, a huge bottle of olive oil, a frying pan the size of a hockey rink and a huge bottle of ranch dressing?
Dada!! A edible preformance piece!!!

And so Sir SaaM the Reedy, crazy son of Sir SaaM the Sensible, threw together a giant salad and made eggplant parmagian. All are invited to come eat. Be prepared for a foodfight, though