CivCube
Aug 09, 2003, 06:58 PM
Perhaps one of the most legendary threads of all time, Straight Dope Message Board's classic created by Fingolfin is still alive and kicking.
So...what if The Lord of the Rings was written by someone else?
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=138905&perpage=50&pagenumber=1
Examples:
Ernest Hemingway
It was very late and everyone had left the hall except an old man who sat in the shadows the leaves of the old Mallorn made against the moonlight. The two elves inside the hall knew that the old man was a little drunk, and while he usually was quiet and kept to himself they knew that if he became too drunk he would start setting things on fire, so they kept watch on him.
“He’s drunk,” one elf said.
“What do you care?”
“He’s muttering about the secret fire.”
“Leave him alone. He used to carry a ring.”
“He’ll stay all night. He should never have been rebodied.”
The old man rapped on the table with his goblet. The younger elf went over to him.
“What do you want?”
The old man looked at him. “Another miruvor.”
“You’ll be drunk,” the elf said. The old man looked at him. The elf went away.
“Look at his bushy eyebrows,” he said to his colleague. “There is nothing as nasty as an old Man. He’ll stay all night and I’ll never get any sleep.”
The elf took the bottle of miruvor from the counter inside the hall and marched to the old man’s table. He poured the goblet full.
“You should never have been rebodied,” he said to the old man. written by Fingolfin, creator of thread
________________________________________
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!"
"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."
-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR. written by gonzoron
So...what if The Lord of the Rings was written by someone else?
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=138905&perpage=50&pagenumber=1
Examples:
Ernest Hemingway
It was very late and everyone had left the hall except an old man who sat in the shadows the leaves of the old Mallorn made against the moonlight. The two elves inside the hall knew that the old man was a little drunk, and while he usually was quiet and kept to himself they knew that if he became too drunk he would start setting things on fire, so they kept watch on him.
“He’s drunk,” one elf said.
“What do you care?”
“He’s muttering about the secret fire.”
“Leave him alone. He used to carry a ring.”
“He’ll stay all night. He should never have been rebodied.”
The old man rapped on the table with his goblet. The younger elf went over to him.
“What do you want?”
The old man looked at him. “Another miruvor.”
“You’ll be drunk,” the elf said. The old man looked at him. The elf went away.
“Look at his bushy eyebrows,” he said to his colleague. “There is nothing as nasty as an old Man. He’ll stay all night and I’ll never get any sleep.”
The elf took the bottle of miruvor from the counter inside the hall and marched to the old man’s table. He poured the goblet full.
“You should never have been rebodied,” he said to the old man. written by Fingolfin, creator of thread
________________________________________
"Gandalf, Gandalf! Take the ring!
I am too small to carry this thing!"
"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."
-excerpt from Dr. Suess's FOTR. written by gonzoron