View Full Version : Der Comrade: A Communist Penguinadua Story
Sep 08, 2003, 03:32 PM
The year is 1550 AD. The Labor Camps of Fanatica are full of people deemed "criminals" by the government. Word is spreading around of a possible revolution of the people.
Authors Voice: Hey, wait a min. Arent we already in the "government of the people?
SaaM... you of all people should know that this is no where near an of the people, for the people government. Anyway, thats another story. Back to this one: Cue music Look Down....Look Down....Dont look 'em in the eye...A-a-a-a-a-a....Youre here until you dii-ee
Yep. Its time for Les Miserables Commies. Yes, 123455. My name... Is Karl Von Marx..
To be continued... Here or in the RPG, though?
Basic summary: Karl Von Marx gets to leave, goes to work in the factory, gathers followers, sieges Penguinadua (I said I was gonna do this again... Just minimal Dada this time (we're peaceful, so we cant rebel against the wartorn society.))
All are invited to participate!!! Grab a handful of characters and sing Les Mis!
One day more...
Javert: Well, 12345, what do you have to say for yourself?
12345: My name... Is Karl Von Marx.
Javert: You do not know the meaning of the law, Missure Marx.
12345 (Marx): I know the meaning of these 15 years.... a slave... to the "law"
Javert: Well, 12345, youre papers are in order. Please dont steal any more Beef Stroganof or break any more bottles of Chateau 1300
12345: It was a loaf of bread and a window pane, moron.
Javert: No, that was in Les Mis. You're "Das Comradde." You did a bit more then that
12345: Oh, right then... sorry... I'll go now.
So Karl Von Marx has been let free. What will he do now? Who will he MEET? THATS YOUR CUE, EVERYBODDY!
Sep 08, 2003, 04:42 PM
As soon as the news was around that the legendary Karl von Marx was released a murmur went through the nation. These were the days of the long working hours in the factories, the dirty 18 hours a day of coal-mining and the nearly-slave like treatment of the builders of the Wonders of Hoover Dam and Universal suffrage.
And suffering there was. The bosses of the Trans Fanatican RailRoad where nicknamed: "Gestapo's", an abbriviation of the motto; Giant Enterprises Shall Tax All People Owning Sestertien. The farmers were driven from their land by the same RailRoads and their once fertile farmlands were transformed into mines. They didn't get even a handful of Sestertien for that. The soldiers were forced to inhabite the new Egyptian colonies, without luxuries, women or even food. The huge increase in workers who were drafted and drawn from the smaller cities increased unemployment and wages dropped. They moved en masse to do the horrible work on the Railroads, the mines and went to the bigger cities to live there. There was a lot of suffering and misery.
And at the same time the Government and the Establishment grew richer and richer. The nation's treasury was increasing by many a goldpiece every decade. And the Aristocrats where competing in trying to build the most luxuries houses, cultural buildings and cities like Gorina and Tyvek were trying to amaze the World by buildings which only served their purposes.
The nation (read: only the rich men's nation) was being build up on the backs of the farmers, miners, workers, soldiers and railroaders. They wouldn't take it any longer.
The release of Karl ignited a spark of hope in their hearts. Perhaps this was the time to claim what should have been shared thousands of years ago.
Sep 08, 2003, 05:36 PM
Enter Stage Left,the villain of the piece, Lucius Hortensius Perigina.
LHP's family had lived in Penguinadua since its foundation. The family had grown rich and prosperous through farming and trade. There had always been a Perigina in the government at some level. The family was firmly entrenched in the ruling class.
Lucius was an embarrassment to his family. He did not possess the qualities that had made his family powerful and respected. Lucius was vain and self serving. He was also petty and cruel. However Luciusí mother had petitioned her nephew, the General of Fanatica, to secure a position for him that befitted his rank. Against his better judgement Perigrina Aegyptus had arranged for Lucius to be appointed Prefect of the City Garrison. Although this position was largely ceremonial Lucius used it to enrich himself at the expense of the citizens.
Sep 10, 2003, 02:41 PM
When we last left Karl Von Marx, he was leaving the prison, his home for the last 15 years. He has come to work at the Penguinaduan Factory, where his job is to dislodge body parts from item dislodgers.
Marx: At the end of the day...la la la la la la.... *hums the rest*
From stage left, a scream is heard
Marx: Well, thats my cue. Now I just have to wait for the part to come down the line.
The part does... shall we say, eventually... move down the line
Mark: *picks up severed hand* Hmm... thats my third one this week. Something should really be done about this. Wheres that milk crate...
Looks around, finds a milk crate
All right! Listen up, everybody! The system is pushing us down! We are the masses, they are the few! We should rise to defeat them. *murmurs of aproval*
Come one everybody! Lets go form an angry mob.
And with these words, the workers break out into a Tony worthy rendition
Do you hear the people sing... singing the songs of angry men...
AN: Okay, guys. Whose up next? What will Karl do? Storm the factory doors? Grab a torch and pitchfork? Take a half hour intermission before the next really really long act? Your call.
Sep 11, 2003, 06:37 PM
As the mob in the factory continues to grow, news begins to spread to the surrounding towns. If the uprising becomes much larger, it will be a full-scale revolt. The local commander, Lucius Perigina, summons the captain of the guards, Sergeant-Major Grandmastorius Praetorius.
Lucius: Ah, welcome, sergeant. I assume have been heard of the developements in Penguinadua?
Grandmastorius: Indeed. Has the rebellion yet become violent?
Lucius: We do not know. You are to assume that the mob is armed and dangerous, and have full authorization to put it down with whatever means necessary.
Grandmastorius: Understood, sir. And if they prove to be unarmed and peaceful? How shall I quell it then?
Lucius: How would you quell an armed revolt?
Grandmastorius: With fire, General.
Lucius: And there is your answer. Now be on your way.
Grandmastorius: Yessir. Good day, General.
The Sergeant-Major and General exchange salutes, before Grandmastorius and his platoon of forces set out for the factory.
After a short time of travel, the troops arrive at the factory gates. Grandmastorius opens the doors and sees the massive mob, filling the entire factory. And yet it is silent, as von Marx speaks.
Grandmastorius: You there! Rebel! By order of the Prefect of the City Garrison you are to vacate these premises and cease all sedicious activities. Failure to follow these orders will result in armed extraction from these premises.
Marx: Look, my fellow workers and peasants! The bourgeouise have sent their lapdogs, the army, to suppress us! And what do we do with army lapdogs?
Worker #1: We eat them!
Marx: No, wrong. Anybody else?
Worker #2: We cover them in red paint!
Marx: Wrong again. Does ANYBODY know what we do with repressive soldiers?
Worker #3: We... oh, this is too hard! I say we eat them!
Marx: No, no, bad enslaved peasant, bad! We chase away soldiers! Now who's going to help me chase away these soldiers?
Worker #4: I will!
Marx: No, #4. You have no legs after that terrible accident, or have you forgotten?
Worker #4: But I can crawl faster 'an any man alive, I can!
Marx (mutters): That's the problem with workers and peasants... they're so much like.... workers and peasants...
Grandmastorius: Well, come on then! Disperse! Don't make me blow my whistle!
Worker #5 (aka Vlad Lenin): I say we kill 'em and hang 'em from the factory roof! It's time for a revolution!
Marx: Now, Vlad, let's not be hasty...
Just then a shot rings out. A single soldier has fired his weapon at the revolutionary.
Grandmastorius: No! Damnit, man, now we're in real trouble! This production is too low-budget for a major action scene.... I've got an idea. Look over there!
The soldier turns to look, and Grandmastorius looses a single round into his back.
Grandmastorius: There, all done, no need for more violence. Now skedattle!
Marx: But... wait... you've just shot a Fanatici soldier... that makes you a revoltuionary! You're one of us!
Grandmastorius: So I am... damned Mac logic.... I guess I'm in. Men?
The platoon nods agreement, and so the first Fanatici soldiers join the uprising. But who is this Grandmastorius, really? Is he truly a friend of the revolution? Or is he a penetrating agent? Can he even sing or dance? And what will become of Karl von Marx? It's your turn to decide.
Sep 11, 2003, 06:51 PM
Marx: Good Mac logic... Since you defied the system, that makes you one of us, I suppose. I dont recal saying that, but now I do! I'm going off to sing more show tunes, so you all can continue marching towards... well, dont know where... Anyone have a railroad time table? A worker hands him a time table Thanks... Now the 2:30 to NoShoRet leaves at 3.. Whose comming with me? I've been meaning to pick up the score to Sweeny Todd as it is.. We can go shopping!
Suddenly, Marx's has two shopping bags at his side. He picks them up and twrils around alla Carson from Queer Eye
That was fun! Now, whose with me?
The peasants just stare a Marxx, wondering what the point of this interlude was, and if there even was one.
Sep 11, 2003, 07:09 PM
Still somewhat confused, the mass of peasants begins to march. In the front, the proud vanguard of the revolt sings proud, theatrical songs of revolution. In the back, a single workers is humbing...
Worker: The pinkos marching one by one, hurrah...hurrah.... the pinkos go marching one by one hurrah... hurrah...
Grandmastorius: Alright, enough of that then. Can't we at least be "reds"? The "pink scare" doesn't sound so scary, does it, now?
Worker: But we aren't from Cincinatti....
Grandmastorius: Now that's enough out of you. Don't make me blow my whistle.
Worker: Help! Help! He's got a whistle! I'm being oppressed!
Grandmastorius: Come on, come on, we're falling behind. Can't you sing in a French accent, like them up there?
Worker: Zi pinkos go marshing won by won hurrah... hurrah....
And so Grandmastorius smacks his forehead and rushes ahead away from the humber...
Sep 12, 2003, 04:23 AM
Marx: Yep... We're French... How did Karl Von Marx end up "vith a pucnh of pinkos?" Sees the shopping bags Oh... yea...
Speaking to the crowd, he well, speaks to the crowd
Anyone have any ideas what were going to end up doing? I dont think gay frenchmen counted into my original calculation
Sep 12, 2003, 02:49 PM
General CivGeneral and High Colonel Mara Jade comes into the Factory
CivGeneral: Ok, whats going on here?
Karl Von Marx: We are staring a reviloution
Mara Jade: A Reviloution huh, You better stop your radical uprisings. My Husband and I would aprehend you on the spot, but we would rather see you dispurse in a normaly fasion.
Karl Von Marx: Never, Communism will reign
General CivGeneral noticed Grandmastorius
CivGeneral: Grandmastorius, any word on how the situation is going?
Grandmastorius: [your line here]
OOC: I am leaving that part for Grandmaster to fill in. Plus Mara Jade and I would like to be part in this story.
Sep 12, 2003, 03:41 PM
Grandmastorius is somewhat embarassed at being confronted in this situation by a friend and peer. But he figues, ah hell, in a dollar, in for a million.
Grandmastorius: The situation goes well. The revolution is gaining momentum. On top of that, we're in the process of writing a new score and finalizing the choreography of the finale, "Massacring the Royal Family and Dumping Their Bodies in a Pit." Now, you have a choice. Join us, or... do something else.
Grandmastorius shrugs, unsure of what the other option is.
Mara Jade: Never! I'll sooner do something else than join your evil revolution!
CivGeneral: Now, honey, don't be hasty... do someting else is pretty harsh... let's think about this like logical adults.
Marx: This is a revolution! You don't think logically! You act based on emotion, in a rage, doing things future generations will regret!
Grandmastorius (quietly to a neighboring worker): Is he starting to bother you, too? I thought revolutionary leaders were supposed to be cool, and charismatic, and have interesting mustaches...
What will CivGeneral and Mara Jade decide? What will Grandmastorius do? And will Marx grow an interesting mustache? Stay tuned!
Sep 12, 2003, 04:09 PM
Marx: I see this is between you too, but look! I have a mustache suddenly! This plot makes no sense, but its fun! For some reason, I can suddenly play the Oboe!
Marx starts scatting on the Oboe. The others just groan
From the top people! A five, six, seven eight!
Chorus People: Lets dump the bodies... lets dump the bodies... do doo do do do do do do do do do doooo...
Sep 12, 2003, 04:31 PM
Marx: Well you two, what ill it be? Join us or be scared away and die with eh rest ot the loyalists.
Mara Jade and CivGeneral looks at each other. Then CivGeneral looks to Marx
CivGeneral: I have a couple of Armored Cars, Tanks (OOC: Think of the World War I Tanks before Moble Warfare), and some Jade Commando Solders
Mara Jade looks at CivGeneral
Mara Jade: What the?! Were supporting... ..them?!
CivGeneral: Yes Dear, Wew supporting them.
Mara Jade: I was thinking of also joinig there side.
Marx: Excelent, Attention Workers, we now have A Small Army Commanded by CivGeneral and Mara Jade. Err, what are your ranks?
CivGeneral: General of the Jade Commandos
Mara Jade: High Colonel of the Jade Commandos
Marx walks up to CivGeneral and Mara Jade
Marx: I have never seen a Husband/Wife Military Team in my life. You two will be my Commanders of the Military.
Mara Jade: Yes, the Jade Commandos have been using Armored Cars since We have discovered How to make combustion, The Tanks looks more like Large behimoths with side turrets.
Grandmastorius looks at Mara Jade and CivGeneral
Grandmastorius: You have made a wise choice. I would be happy to serve under your command
Marx: Welcome to the Reviloution General CivGeneral and High Colonel Mara Jade.
CivGeneral then places his hand on Grandmastorius's shoulder
CivGeneral: I would like Grandmastorius to be the 2nd Lt in the Reviloutionary Army.
Sep 12, 2003, 09:36 PM
Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on whose side your on), news of the armed strike reaches Noshuret. A skilled and respected general, Octavian XCVII, is dispatched with a regiment of riflemen to clear the sitatuion.
As you can imagine, such a debacle was embarassing to the Fanatican government. For many thousands of years, it had waged wars in the name of spreading of free, democratic ideals. With this small 'rebellion' came very open and harsh criticism from both home and abroad, as these apparently 'just' ideals were only for the rich.
Octavian, he and his ancestors themselves being trade representatives to other nations, did have a knack for talking things out. His direct orders from the Council were to avoid violence at all costs, and hopefully get a peaceful, bloodless resolution. Force was to be the last resort.
At least, that's what he told himself all the time. His real order was to masacre the workers and not tell a soul. No matter what the consequences, though, he was determined not to shed a drop of blood.
Unfortunately, though he had decent skills at the negotiation table and on the battlefield, Octavian was a bumbling character. He occasionally tripped due to the fact he was distracted by a doughnut that he just pulled from an obsure spot from somewhere on his overcoat. In general, he was clumsy, the likely reason he gave up a promising career in the Trade Ministry.
He and his forces arrived in Penguinadua, and politely asked to speak with the worker's leader...
The conflict's set up. Octavian's in town, so now we wait for the next person up to bat...
Sep 13, 2003, 07:26 AM
Octavian XCVII: Right then. Where's the Rebel Leader?
A Man With A Recorder Up His Nose: Im Leader
A Burgular In A Cheese Shop: No your not, Im the leader
Nose: No, you're a loony. Im the leader
Cheese: Youre the loony! Give me that recorder, loony!
Nose: Get out of my Cheese Shop!
Octavian XCVII: Okay... neither of them are the leader. I'll let these two Pythonic charactres continue on and whoever isnt under the 16 ton anvil when I get back wins, I suppose...
Moving through a crowd of bickering, yelling loonys and giant foam hammers, Octavian XCVII finally makes it to Karl Von Marx
Octavian: Please dont tell me you too are the leader
Marx: That I am.
Octavian: Do you have anything to do with Penguins on Tellys, Spam Songs, Money, A Deadly Picnic, A Lingere Shop, Knights that say Ni or any other rubbish that spawned out of the head of six loony brits.
Marx: No. And only five were brits. Gilliam was American
Octavian: Right then. Now, where were we...
Anothre Useless Interlude by SaaM! Oct is meeting with Marx. What will the others do?
Sep 13, 2003, 09:57 AM
Marx: You were just going to leave.
Octavian: Oh, really? Alright... wait, no I wasn't. I'm here to make you rebels disperse!
Marx: I was hoping you would forget that part.
Octavian: Well, I didn't. Now, let's negotiate. By order of the Fanatican government, you must disband. If you leave peacefully now, then you will not be prosecuted in any way.
Marx: Did you hear that, boys? If we give up now they won't prosecute us! What do we say to government lackeys who order us to disband?
Worker #1: We eat 'em!
Marx: Why are you still here? Didn't I tell you to leave after the last time you said that?
Worker #2: I think it's a good idea! Let's eat 'em!
Marx: No, no, down boy, down! We aren't going to eat anybody.
General dissapointment among the workers.
Octavian: Well, thank you for that. But really, we need to discuss this. Otherwise...
Marx: You'll blow a whistle at me?
Octavian: Only as a very last resort.
Sep 13, 2003, 11:48 AM
OOC - @GM & Stuck, Umm you forgot to add me and Mara Jade into the story :(. We said that we are going to join you on your side.
Sep 13, 2003, 11:53 AM
Enter Vice President and Governor of Esquiline Rik Meleet
Riding on his giant horse, followed by some hundreds of citizens and loyal soldiers Rik's profile appears on the nearby hill.
Rik: I am not going to discuss this rebellion with you. This rebellion is illegal and an insult to everything Fanatica stands for. I shall not have it.
Octavian turns around and his hope of survival returns.
Rik: Release Octavian XCVII now. We outnumber you 10 to 1 and are ready to strike and we'll do so if required. We have tanks. CG: What are you doing there ?
CivGeneral: You don't have tanks; I order the army and this revolution is a good thing.
Rik: I am not debating the legality of this so called revolution now, I am here to take Octavian XCVII from your hands. I will leave you in peace for now. And your tanks are still in their barracks and currently not here.
Rik and his followers move down the hill and quietly split the rebels in 2 smaller groups. Rik steps down from his horse and hands the horse to Gladiatus. He walks with big steps to Marx, CivGeneral, Grandmaster and Mara_Jade, who are still holding Octavian XCVII.
With a powerful look Rik stares in the eyes of all 4 of them while his hands reach out for Octavian. Rik and Oct walk together back to Rik's horse. They ride away.
Back on the top of the hill Vice President Rik turns around and shouts: The Government will discuss your demands with the leaders tomorrow afternoon in the neutral city of Tyvek. You can choose who will join from your group, but no more than 4 are allowed.
And: If you decide to become violent; we will crush you and if we can't, we'll pull back behind the impregnable defensive line across the Esquiline-canal. I hope you'll be in Tyvek to discuss your rebellion tomorrow afternoon.
Rik and Octavian leave the stage to the right
Sep 13, 2003, 12:00 PM
OOC: CG, not every character is in every scene. I wasn't even in my own last scene. It was a scene between Marx and Octavian. Be patient. ;)
Sep 13, 2003, 12:12 PM
Mara Jade: Our World War Iish Tanks and Armored cars will topple your reign Rik.
Rik: Realy, then this reviloution should stop
Marx: We will never stop
Grandmastorius: As a newly promoted 2nd Lt. I will not stand down.
Rik and Oct walks away
CivGeneral: I have a plan incase they do build a defensive wall around the capital. Its called, The Railroad Gun. Its a big massive behimouth Artillery piece that can bombard a city within a distance of 10mi. Marx, I want the Workers to build this weapon. This weapon is for the glory of the Reviloution.
Mara Jade: Hopefully we can brng the government to there knees
OOC @Rik: Umm, Mara Jade in this story does not have an underscore in between "Mara" and "Jade" ;).
Sep 13, 2003, 03:19 PM
Marx is worried. His tank divison seems a bit trigger happy
Marx: Cant we just taunt them and throw evil rabits and holy hand grenades at them?
Calling to the crowd, he starts a chant
Crowd: ECKY! ECKY! ECKY! ECKY! PU-CLANG! ZOOP! BOING! NI!
AN: I just want a Dadalike revolution. Mabey we can get the workers of the world to unite into some evil transformer robot, and the RPG Police can come and yell at them for breaking the tech rule and the workers will just end up a steam powered demon-thing. Just fun, no war. Wars were always a boring part of the RPG.
Sep 13, 2003, 04:14 PM
OOC: Agreed, let's stick to the fun stuff. I spent all of DG2 writing long, rambling, cinematically-visible ;) stories of epic battles and glorious warfare. Now I'm ready for Les Mis-meets-Monty Python. :)
Grandmastorius: People of the revolution! Listen to me! Stop ecky-ecky-eckying for one moment. The government is opressing us! With tanks! And doughnuts! And badly written rescues! (OOC: No offense, Rik. ;) ) We must fight back! I say we go to Tyvek! And once there, we build a giant statue of a peanut! And from that peanut will fly the flag of a new nation, with Tyvek as its capital! And we will call that nation the UUASR (Union of Unwillingly Annexed Supposed Republics)! This nation will be run by the people.... or, better yet, a madman with an interesting mustache who pretends to look out for the people! Who's with me?!
The crowd erupts into applause and a show of support ensues, followed by a short song-and-dance number and a high-budget pyrotechnics show.
CivGeneral: Well, look at that, they've increased our budget...
Marx: Hmm.... I didn't plan on this. I was just tired of having to pick arms and legs out of sewing machines... oh well, I'll go along with it.
Grandmastorius: Form up behind me! We're going to march on Tyvek!
Mara Jade: Wait, what's that sounds....
Suddenly, a group of horsemen burst through the door, carrying rifles, evil rabits, and a comfy chair.
Mara Jade: It's the White Fanaticans! I didn't expect them!
White Fanatican: Nobody expects the White Fanaticans! We are counter-revolutionaries, and we are here to stop you! Quickly, find the leader and put him in the... comfy chair!
What will become of the revolution now? Will Grandmastorius's plan for a new nation work? Will Marx succomb to the comfy chair? And who is the man with the interesting mustache who will pretend to represent the people? Is it Grandmastorius's Uncle Joe?
Sep 13, 2003, 06:02 PM
Marx: No! Not the White Fanaticans! Ack! They have in possession the comfy chair! Who will join in their crusade? No one knows! People, be strong and stand with me. Now, we must put up some sort of barricade to keep them from advancing! The Peanut may not be enough... We need something stronger.
Marx pulls a worn looking amulet out from around his neck.
I call upon the spirits of Alpha and Sir SaaM the Reedy!
Suddenly, a white light glows out of the amulet. From it, comes a beacon
Workers of the World... Unite!!
In a very pricey, wonderfully animated bit, the workers surrounding Marx are sucked into the light. Marx grows. He is no longer a man, he is a machine. He is MarxTronCCCP 2.0. With his titanium body and singularity core, he has the ability to fire missiles off his back, has nuclear vision and kevlar tanks for feet. He is ready to crush the world!
RPG Police: Stop, stop... Right, then. This is the RPG Police. We are here to stop this sudden storyline bit. You are breaking the Code For Reasonable RPG Use on the following accounts
1) Use of a dead religion. Spiritualism died many thousand years ago.
2) Use of a dead RPG. We all know that Sir SaaM the Reedy, as with all Sir SaaMs, was Fanatikan.
3) Use of real life. There is no, repeat, is no CCCP in Fanatica.
4) Our budget does not permit this high priced animation. Please stop using your G5 for rendering.
6) Use of another game. Singularity is the top weapon of SMAC. Not Civ3.
7) And of course, breaking of tech rule. Please tune down this machine.
Marx: Grrrr.... redo...
And Marx pulled back the sheet to reveal a big giant peanut with a gun turret on it.
RPG: Yes. That should be all... We will be going now. Ta!
Exit RPG Police Stage Left!
Okay. Now, Whose gonna mount the turret while I sit in the comfy chair and twirl my mustache?
Sep 13, 2003, 07:37 PM
The revolutionaries argue who will take the turret, as the White Fanaticans (aka Belofanaticans) sit and watch, entertained by the bumbling workers.
Grandmastorius: Enough! Stop arguing! We have to work together to defeat these counter-revolutionaries! You there, random worker, get in the turret and aim at the White Fanatican leader. CivGeneral, Mara Jade, you guys stand over there and district them. Uncle Joe, you.... just wait until later.
Stalin: Grr.... one day you'll count trees for writing me out of this scene. Plus, I won't buy your son's school fundraisers any more!
Grandmastorius: Sit down, Uncle Joe. This isn't your scene.
Suddenly, the glass of the factory window rains down on the assembled crowd and a figure, clad in black, lands on the factory floor.
Grandmastorius: Look, it's former Halliburton executive, current US Vice-President, and bionic man Dick Cheney!
Disclaimer: As part of his retirement deal with Halliburton Co., Dick Cheney is allowed to appear in one chapter of one novel per year.
CivGeneral: Hey, look, a distraction!
The White Fanaticans look in the direction that CivGeneral points, and Dick Cheney tosses the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at them. It explodes, wiping out the counter-revolutionary forces.
Marx: Thank you, Dick Cheney! Even though you are an evil capitalist, you have done well!
Dick Cheney: Don't thank me, thank the Halliburton Company of Texas. They provide heat and energy to millions of people in the southwest. It's all in a day's work for us. Bionic man, away!
With that, Dick Cheney flew out of the broken window and into the sunset.[i/]
[i]The counter-revolution has failed. What will happen next?
Sep 13, 2003, 10:50 PM
Suddenly, the old man from scene 24 appeared!
Old man: For you to leave this factory, you must answer me these questions 3!
Director: Sorry to tell you, but they're all dead. Weren't you there for the completely useless plot twist?
Old man: What is you name?
Director: Well, it's Dave. Where the hell have you been? The story's over.
Old man: What is your quest?
Director: Well, it WAS to make a good story, until Dick Cheny decided to show up. Damn contracts...
Old man: What is your favorite color?
Director. Green. Look, will you cut with the acting? Or, is it yellLLLLLLLLLLOW!
The old man cackles as the director is tossed into the conviently placed Gorge of Eternal Peril. What is next?
Sep 15, 2003, 05:24 PM
Out of no where, there is a rally
Marx: Our labor built these wonders! Our blood is the motar! Our bones the bricks! These are not testaments to the will of those with money, its the will of the people! We lost over 20 habbadashers making that giant metal hat! Will we stand for it?
The crowd is quite
Thats your cue to say, "No!", people....
People: [ b ]"No! [ / b ]
Marx, after seeing the tags butchered, just shakes his head....
Marx: Just grab your torch and pitchforks... Lets head back for NoShoRet!
As Marx crosses the Bridge Over The Gore of Eternal Peril, from the sky comes a figure...
Pesant One: Its a bird!
Pesant Two: Its a plane
RPG Police: Thats ahead of the rules....
Pesant Two: Its a DiVinci inspired Flying Device!
RPG Police: Thank you!
Pesant Three: Its a man making millions in shady contracts with former companies he was once CEO of!
Voice: No! Its Dick Cheny!!
Pesant Three: And the difference is....?
Marx: Waaait a minute! Wasnt Dick Cheny only allowed one book apearance?
Voice: Oh yea! Gotta Go!
With that, Dick Cheny flees. Marx is at the other side of the Gorge. Will any of the peasants be stupid enough to fall in? Find out in one of our next installments!
Sep 15, 2003, 05:39 PM
One by one the peasants cross the bridge. Only a handful of them fall in, and most of those only because a prankster had thrown a handfull of quarters over the side of the bridge.
Marx: Come, my teaming mass of peasants! Let us march on Noshuret! I feel a song coming on!
Peasant: Not again.... I'm tired of singing! Can't we be an interpretive dancing revolution instead of a singing one?
Grandmastorius: Now who's ever heard of an interpetive dancing revolution? There are dancing shoes, and dancing feet, and dancing flames, and even singing cowboys, but there are no interpretive dancing revolutions.
Peasant: Help! Help! I'm being opressed! He won't let me do my interpretive dance!
Grandmastorius: Quiet, quiet, they'll think I'm a bourgeousie...
Peasant: Did you hear that? He's a bourgeousie!
Grandmastorius: No I'm not! Stop that!
Peasant: There he goes, opressing me again!
Grandmastorius: Shut up!
Marx: Quiet, both of you!
Uncle Joe: Yeah, pipe down, I can't hear myself plot!
Grandmastorius: It's still not your scene, Uncle Joe.
Uncle Joe: Damned imperialist pig...
What will become of this? Is Grandmastorius really a bourgeousie? And will they break out into an interpretive dance number? Find out in our next installment!
Sep 17, 2003, 12:19 AM
Meanwhile, somewhere else in Fanatica...
Octavian XCVII: Mmmm... Doughnuts....
What's next for our heroes?