What's the funniest thing the computer has said to you in negotiations? I've been negotiating with the Iriqous to make peace every now and then but I always refuse (I ain't given them no tech for a war I'm not losing) so the last time we talked they said

"Shesh! It's like talking to a BRICK WALL. Fine, you make an offer" heheh I found that funny..

"Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent. At this time."

I just about died laughing. :D

I just concluded a trade of techs with Montezuma, and he told me:

"In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I shall sacrifice nine virgins in your honor."

Seems a little extreme to me, but.... whatever floats his boat.

Originally posted by loduke
I just concluded a trade of techs with Montezuma, and he told me:

"In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I shall sacrifice nine virgins in your honor."

Seems a little extreme to me, but.... whatever floats his boat.

Now THAT was a good one.:lol:

Here you go!http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/armed/cut.gif

Originally posted by loduke

"In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I shall sacrifice nine virgins in your honor."


Why doesn't he just send them over to my place? :D I'm sure there are better ways to show his gratitude then reckless beheadings :p

Tsk,tsk, Hippo. There are young, impressionable minds in this forum...

http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/noughty/smileysex.gif

Heh,heh,heh...http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/angry/sasmokin.gif

Sacrificing Virgins is a good lesson to the rest of the female population...GET TO IT!

http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/noughty/smileysex.gif

So the girls would be too young for you hippo -I HOPE!

Originally posted by Cunobelin Of Hippo


Why doesn't he just send them over to my place? :D I'm sure there are better ways to show his gratitude then reckless beheadings :p

Actually, if this was Montezuma of the Aztecs, those virgins could only wish they would be beheaded. However, I'm sure they would also put their hearts into pleasing me if sent over on a gallion to my capitol.:lol:

From Abe, who wanted Philosophy for nothing: "Don't think of it as paying tribute, think of it as making a contribution to world peace."

Of course I refused and later went to war.

Here's a screen from Gamespot:

http://gamespot.com/gamespot/images/2001/pc/str/civ3/civ3_screen005.jpg

LOL!! :D :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :D

I'm paraphrasing here but after refusing to just GIVE a tech to the Aztecs:

"That does it. You're on my list now, Buddy! Just wait, you'll get yours!"

Also, from the Iriquois:

"In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I will sacrifice 30 warriors in your honor." Looks like they either ran out of virgins or wanted to keep them for some OTHER reason.....

I like the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours..."-phrase

(about a map-swapping proposal)

Jeez flak, hippo, kitten -
ever wonder why the 93% of boys on this site aren't joined by more females?:eek:

No kidding, Melinder. :rolleyes:

But as a Terry Pratchett fan, I just about fell out of my chair when Elizabeth made a counter-offer to one of my deals, "and that's cutting me own throat." :lol:

Originally posted by Kev
Also, from the Iriquois:

"In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I will sacrifice 30 warriors in your honor."


30? Ha! Ol' Monty sacrificed FIFTY for me! I guess some leaders are just better than others... :lol: Really, though, after he's weakened his forces that much, I should have wiped him out!

Vinc: :lol: :jump: :lol:

Originally posted by kittenOFchaos
Sacrificing Virgins is a good lesson to the rest of the female population...GET TO IT!

http://community.theunderdogs.org/smiley/noughty/smileysex.gif

So the girls would be too young for you hippo -I HOPE!

What makes you think the virgins are female kOc? Maybe they're virgin males like, say, males who hang around Internet forums making sexist comments.

Yeah...maybe they were men :rolleyes:

Tradition demands that it is female :D

I don't HANG around internet forums...I play a part...see succession games and forums where I give help to those that play civilisation and alpha.

Obviously we need to start on the virgin sacrificing again, they are starting to NAG!

Only joking, my mum was female too ;)

P.S Julio & covern having posted here for all of a week or so (well October is when you have joined) I'm sure you'll see we haven't chased any females off.

The fact is that females don't play civ2/3/1 to the same degree that males do and furthermore aren't as proactive on the net...I don't believe for one second that they'd be scared off by the infrequent jokio.

WE (I mean I) don't care for wet fish personalities!

I don't care for sexist wankers who think violence against women is a joking subject. I'm glad most of the Brits I know don't share your sense of humour. Hopefully the UK release of will Civ3 give you something better to do.

Originally posted by Julio
I'm glad most of the Brits I know don't share your sense of humour.

Living in the UK I've got to admit most brits I know do.......:rolleyes:

Abe: "We think you're all hat and no cattle." :lol:

Mao, after beating me like a rug in the space race (which I was seriously happy just to witness!)--

"All your base are belong to us." :crazyeyes

Originally posted by Grendel
Mao, after beating me like a rug in the space race (which I was seriously happy just to witness!)--

"All your base are belong to us." :crazyeyes

:rotfl: I might let the computer get to space first just to see that!

Originally posted by Grendel
Mao, after beating me like a rug in the space race (which I was seriously happy just to witness!)--

"All your base are belong to us." :crazyeyes

Wow! Sounds like you have no chance t survive make your time ;)

Joan of Arc saying "I'll show you mine if you show yours"...

(this was actually my 69-est post)

Shaka before I destroyed his last city when demanding tribute for a peace treaty :
"Agreed! You are too much merciful, for your own good, Xerxes. If I were in your shoes, I'd wipe me out without a second thought"
That's what I've done 2 minutes later :D :slay:

Originally posted by Grendel
Mao, after beating me like a rug in the space race (which I was seriously happy just to witness!)--

"All your base are belong to us." :crazyeyes

lol, Mao really said that? :lol:

Well that's going to ensure that the game ages really well isn't it? It may be omnipresent on the net at the moment, but its star is on the wane and sooner or later it will be replaced by some other "in" phrase nicked from a badly-translated website. I severely doubt that Firaxis would have put something so stupid into the game and reckon that Grendel is having you on. I've heard that his mother has been casting envious glances at Stormerne's house. :)

Originally posted by duke o' york
Well that's going to ensure that the game ages really well isn't it? It may be omnipresent on the net at the moment, but its star is on the wane and sooner or later it will be replaced by some other "in" phrase nicked from a badly-translated website. I severely doubt that Firaxis would have put something so stupid into the game and reckon that Grendel is having you on. I've heard that his mother has been casting envious glances at Stormerne's house. :)

The only thing that matters is that the joke got in there (if it actually did). May ZeroWing live on!

Hey don't be offended. I didn't want to put your illustrious Humour and Jokes forum down at all. After all, where else in the civilised world would anyone let Simon Darkshade keep posting his hilarious snippets of British TV comedy? Thank the lord for H&J! :goodjob:
But it is a pretty dumb thing to put into Civ 3 though. I still say that Grendel is lying and will continue to do so until made to look a complete fool by the posting of some undoctored screenshots by a reliable person.:D

When I "retired" by mistake. Who made retire ^Q, and quit = Escape????????????????

"If you pratice some more, I might break a sweat".

The eight person on the history of the ... list are the "Forgotten".

"Montezume of the Aztecs has noticed your cute civilazation" :lol: :lol: :lol:

After demanding of Montezuma a tech "or else":

Monty: "We refuse. What are you going to do about it, Punk? Go ahead, make my day!"

I've paraphrased, but it was funny to imagine the Ancient Montezuma speaking like modern day Clint Eastwood. :)

I seem to recall seeing a screenshot somewhere. Someone was trying to trade technology with Shaka on a one-for-one basis, and Shaka's response was "Perhaps you would like my firstborn son as well?" :lol:

Originally posted by lkendter
When I "retired" by mistake. Who made retire ^Q, and quit = Escape????????????????

"If you pratice some more, I might break a sweat".

The eight person on the history of the ... list are the "Forgotten".

"Montezume of the Aztecs has noticed your cute civilazation" :lol: :lol: :lol:

It's "Cute LITTLE civlization." In any case, it cracked me up when I first saw it. :lol: And you guys MUST be kidding about that Zerowing thing... :eek: I'll have to see it for myself...

Here's what the chinese had to say to me after I accepted peace with them (I was winning and razing cities left and right):

http://www.rit.edu/~daj8049/images/civ3-chinese.jpg

Hey!

I'm not lying! No joke; Mao really said the ZeroWing "all your base" thing. It was after the game said "you have suffered a humiliating defeat" and pulled up that screen where all the leaders insult you.

As far as screenshots go, well, um... I *ahem* don't have a very recent saved game for that one, so I don't think I'll ever be able to prove myself... :blush:

I would like to note that Mao didn't just beat me into space, but all my bases really did belong to him -- see my tale of woe (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7699) for details.

Undoctored screenshots from reliable sources. Sheesh. :rolleyes:

Can someone explain the joke to me, I DONT GET IT.

All your base belong to me???? SOrry Im missing it.

I take it, it is from a British TV show is this right??

If so can you explain it to me so I dont feel so stupid.

Townsend, head on over to this website (http://www.planettribes.com/allyourbase/) for a good explanation. You need to see "Video 1" since that's the original.

Have fun. :cool:

A yet another internet surfer hooked onto the AYB craze.

-Cyc

Originally posted by duke o' york
Well that's going to ensure that the game ages really well isn't it? It may be omnipresent on the net at the moment, but its star is on the wane and sooner or later it will be replaced by some other "in" phrase nicked from a badly-translated website. I severely doubt that Firaxis would have put something so stupid into the game and reckon that Grendel is having you on. I've heard that his mother has been casting envious glances at Stormerne's house. :)

Umm, considering how old the game is, I'd say it's already aged well.

There's gotta be a hack for the comments..

There is. Take a look in diplomacy.txt in the Text directory of your CivIII installation folder. It contains all the comments that the AI would say to us in the diplomacy screen.

Oddly, I couldn't find the one that says "I shall sacrifice nine virgins in your honor." :scan:

Still, there are some hilariously funny comments in there. However, it kinda spoiled me, so I'm just going to warn you: it's much better to just see it in the game. =)

Also, one note: in the bottom of the diplomacy.txt file, you can change the #ANGER_AT_LEVELS of the AI's anger labeling. I changed "furious" to "Majorly PO'ed". I'll update later to see if it works.

UPDATE: yeah it works. The CivIII framework is very flexible for modding. I think I'll become a civIII mod maker.

-Cyc

Originally posted by Julio
I don't care for sexist wankers who think violence against women is a joking subject. I'm glad most of the Brits I know don't share your sense of humour. Hopefully the UK release of will Civ3 give you something better to do.
Mod: The jokes no longer exist. We've had several complaints, and in retrospect, I should've deleted them a lot earlier.

{edited}

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA ROOFLE OWNED BRIT

I have more... like:

{edited}

AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M GOING TO HELL

Admittedly, my girlfriend doesn't like these jokes, but she's a big party pooper.

GET A SENSE OF HUMOUR

Just you wait till i dig into the paedophile material...

I had a warrior who was taking too long to cut through some Egyptian territory. The leader told me to get my men out because they were "stealing chickens and bothering the women".:)

While playing Rome in Ancient times, I received a demand from Chairman Mao ordering me to pay tribute or face the consequences.

I wasn't particularly afraid of him, and refused.

Mao's reply:

"Whoops! Just kidding. Funny joke, eh?"



Cheers,

Stilicho

I parked a nuclear sub (armed) off the coast of an ally...he demanded that I remove it in a polite way...

My option besides going to war was:

"Oh err sorry, they were just conducting ummm routine training missions"

After turning down a wonderful deal from the Zulu (they offered Advanced Flight for Nuclear Power), he replied...

"Three words: Increase Your Medication."

I, too, have seen the 'All your base belong to us' comment when I lost diplomatically to the Aztecs in my first real game (and from what seemed like one deciding vote from the Egyptians who were all but out of the game at that point! :(

As much as I have grown tired of this bit o' humor, I must admit that I chuckled for a second when I saw it...it's just one of those things that'll be with us for another year or two...until EVERYONE knows about it, not just computer geeks and retrogamers.

I'm glad to see the speeches are modifiable...it'll eventually make scenarios and custom civs easier.

As for anything really funny I've come across, I must say aside from a few mentioned, I haven't really seen anything truly outrageous. My one full game I had allied up with France and Russia for most of the game and rarely talked to anyone else except for when they wanted to pester me for maps or some such.

Jo was always great for her religous tone, especially when in actual alliances with me, but I think my favorite comment was an opening line from Cathy the Great, which she said (paraphrasing) "So, have you come to talk business or just gaze upon my beauty?" :D

Originally posted by Suvorov

What do you tell a woman ...etc

Please refrain from group bashing at Civfanatics. While the line between good natured humor and bashing can be vague, even within just one mind, let alone within a group, your responding to Julio's complaint in this post increases its confrontational content. Civfanatics maintains somewhat tighter standards regarding flaming and group bashing than many gaming sites. We try to maintain a more friendly and collegial atmosphere, and one less confrontational, than others which posters may be used to (Before being drafted in moderatorhood, I was often on the borderline of this policy :sniper: ).
Also note that this post is very seriously off topic, which is not normaly allowed (except for jokes very much supirior to these), and is even more troublesome currently do to the very high volume of traffic in the civ3 forums. Please stay on topic.
We are also aware that currently posters do not currently have guidelines to work from. They are currently being translated from the old UBB format and revised by Thunderfall, and should be available soon in the FAQ.
Thank you for your attention to these policies. :love:

Ghandi, in the beginning of a discussion,said something like "how would you like to share a nice bowl of vegetarian curry?"

not as good as 'all your base.....', but still made me laugh

Hasn't anyone noticed what happens when you change govs from the advisor screen? They're from the song "So you wanna have a revolution", or whatever its called.... I literally burst out laughing.

"Sorry Hiawatha, but that dog won't hunt." Abe.

Montezuma said something hilarious but I banged my head while rolling on the floor and cannot remember what it was :(

Every dog...

:lol: Ol' Monty looks like a broody hen having a dirtbath :D

How about when Catherine the Great states:

"Mother Russia Welcomes You. Are you here only to admire my great beauty or is there some other purpose to your visit?"

Paraphrasing Abe Lincoln when I asked him to give me a loan of gold, "Sorry, we are as poor as a blind man in a crooked poker game"

-JD

When my Zulu Impi got too close to one of Cleo's cities, she told me to get out, because my troops were "molesting chickens and disturbing women."

Elizabeth, refering to our map exchange:
'That pleases me very much. Let's sit down and have a nice cup of tea'

for those who want a proof of the "all your base" thing, uncut and commercial-free! or rather, undoctored... :)

http://www.multimania.com/narmox/civ3/allyourbase.jpg

At the end of my first (space race) victory tonight as the Iroquois, several of the leaders gave me either the "Every Dog Has Its Day" or the "Don't Gloat. Let's Start Over." quote; Queen Elizabeth, however was less civil. She gave me a nice "Congratu-ma-freaking lations!" I am impressed by her slummy language.

Originally posted by socrateach
At the end of my first (space race) victory tonight as the Iroquois, several of the leaders gave me either the "Every Dog Has Its Day" or the "Don't Gloat. Let's Start Over." quote; Queen Elizabeth, however was less civil. She gave me a nice "Congratu-ma-freaking lations!" I am impressed by her slummy language.

:LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

I also like when the AI civs threaten "give us this or that or we'll crush you like a toad", while my foreign advisor up in the right keeps saying "The xxxxxx army fears our knight/musketmen/cavalry/etc"

After asking for some outrageous concessions from the Iroquois, Hiawatha replied back, "And I suppose you want Manhattan also".

In my new game as the Chinese, Japan was in the way of my expansion, so I eventually goaded them into a war. Along the way to conflict, their shogun had three nice things to say.
1) "A herd of Chinese swine have been spotted rooting among the garbage near Kyoto. Why?"
2) "What? You have the gall to offer Japan THIS?!? No! No! No! A thousand times, NO! Somebody hold me back before I gut this jackal!"
3) Inconceivable! You must think we're idiots!"

Ah, it is so rewarding to make the AI furious...

Bismark(after refusing to gve him techs): "Ha! So you DO have some backbone! I was just joking, anyway."

When the Japanese units crossed into my border n ar asked to leave, they say sumthin like coming over for "a bowl of rice for a poor neighbor"
lol

Military advisor, in 2000 BC, when Pasargadae just was defected to the Zulus:

Pasargadae has...blah...blah...worse yet, the citizens of Pasargadae says that they are impressed by the so-called culture of the Zulus! Go figure...

Culture of the Zulus? Yeah, right.

Elizabeth's classic:

I can offer you n gold for {tech} and that's cutting me own throat. Hilarious, at least to Pratchett fans (I saw one posting this earlier, I just wanted to mention that good ol' Abe Lincoln said this as well).

What serious Bodo/glimt 5 Brann 1. When was this.

Anyway..
When Alexander demanded techs or money or something I refused. He replies along the lines of

Um, yeah, well I'm too busy to attack you right now.
:p
I cant remember how it went it was last week.. sorry.

Hiawatha: "You wanna go PUNK? Come on, make my day"*

*Im probably alittle off but you get the idea ;)

Montuezama (sorry for spelling mistakes, I can't remember his name correctly:o ) from the Aztecs told me this after I proposed him a deal.

I have prayed the gods for guidance on your offer. They recommend that I laugh heartily and throw you into a pit filled with scorpions.

LOL!!!

Asking for tribute - "When one meets a tiger, its better to give it a meal, rather than become a meal."

:lol: GRRRRRRRR!

I gave a gold tribute to Bismark early in a game, and he said -

"You have taken the cowards way out, I see. Excellent!"

"I will burn in hell before giving in to your demands"

Hehe

When I saw all your base are belong to us I had to take a SS:

http://www.fatfreewater.com/civ3_009.jpg

How about -

"If you are trying to bribe me, Hammurabi, keep it up" :lol:

I'm surprised no one's brought up what they say if you ask for a Right of Passage after you double-cross them. "I'll give you a right of passage--to hell! I remember the last time we had such an agreement....".

Also I asked Abe for a loan of gold in the Ancient Age, and he said, "Sorry, all my money's tied up in dot.com stocks."

Originally posted by loduke
I just concluded a trade of techs with Montezuma, and he told me:

"In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I shall sacrifice nine virgins in your honor."

Seems a little extreme to me, but.... whatever floats his boat.

Yeah,it would be nice to see the dialogues change depending on the eras. In industrial age Montezuma could say "In honor of this agreement and your friendship, I shall sacrifice ONE virgin,if I can find one, in your honor." and later he could say "In honor of this...blah blah...I will sacrifice nine DVD players in your honor."

One thing I always found funny, is when you have most of the world mapped, and you offer to trade maps and give them perhaps some gold or a tech, even when you try to give them your world map for their territory map, your advisor says "They would be insulted by this offer." Whereas they're cheating you in the deal.

Caesar, after me refusing to pay tribute:

"I see. If it weren't for the...uh...political situation of Rome, we would be destroying you - utterly.

Sorry if this is a trifle off-topic, but I like to answer the questions I get. So to Baleog, Bodø/Glimt beat Brann 5-1 in the end of September this year. They aren't that bad, you know!

Some mentioned it earlier, but I'll try to put it all in: Revolutions

"So you say you want a revolution?

* Yeah, you know its going to be alright

* No, You can count me out.


Classic.

After asking the Chinese for some outrageous demand he replied

“I’d rather eat dung, than to give into your demands!”

I about fell out on the floor laughing! :lol:

This wasn't as much what the computer said, but England offered me an alliance against someone for a right of passage. I made a counterproposal, looked at the advisor, and he said it would be unlikely they'd take their own deal. Now THAT'S cutting their throat.

the fascist bastard egyptians, after demanding military tradition for free, said the following: "Uh, yeah. Well, normally I would declare war immediately, but my advisors appear to have lost the paperwork. You may not be so lucky next time!"

The first game I won was with China on Chieften level. I had built a huge empire and was often going to war against my neighbours due to them building cities I didnt like. Who cares about what kind of agreement I had with them. Over the years I think I had gone to war with Japan 3 or 4 times. The last time we made peace I made him give me everything he had.

He replied,

"Dealing with you Mao is like dealing with the Devil"

I had to laugh considering the damage that I had one to the Japanese, the Indians and the utter absorption of the once massive Russian empire. I can see how someone might think of me that way .. I was just misunderstood!

However while the Japanese didnt seem to like me I did win a Cultural Victory. While I brought culture to the world on the backs of calvary and modern armour, I did bring culture to the world and made it a better place :)

Here's another cool one I just got from the Egyptians.

"Tadeusz Kosciusko, the troops bumbling about near Giza are stealing chickens and annoying our women. Remove them, please."

I find it funny that a cannon did that too, perhaps a couple guys carrying a cannon.

when i threatened the Aztecs for iron working,
the reply was:
"We have ways to deal with bullies. They involve- lets see-
snakes, ants, clamps, pointed sticks, wild dogs, boiling oil..... And then things get really unpleasent. Cre to reconsider?"

i did reconsider. rather than asking politely, i burned his capital city to the ground!!!

here's a nice one that I got by first the babylonians offering me peace, if I give them gunpowder. My counter proposal was no gunpowder and they give me all their money and cities.

"Unacceptable, unacceptable, unacceptable! Oooo - you make me soooo mad!"

The moral of this story, it's worth your while to irritate your enemies.

Perhaps I shouldn't have even offered him peace. Perhaps just a single gold.

I don't have a funny phrase,but rather a funny concept. I was at a 30+ round bloody war against the Aztecs. I was really kikcing them and then ,trying to give them a chance for peace I used the "our troops are approachingyour cities,would yuou consider signing peace with us?"The Montezuma dude replied something like over my dead body! I ended my turn only to see him coming at me and saying "We would like to end the war now,sign this!" :eek: Another funny thing is that when my pople became tired with all the war crap, they were all saying in the city view screen "All we are saying,is give peace a chance!"...That's was kind of funny!

actually, that's a threat, demanding they offer concessions. If you say that you overextended yourself they're more likely to give you a treaty.

I accidently hit the button for revolution, when I was already in one.

"Sir, we are already in revolution. Have you taken your medication?"

Playing as the indians, I asked france for a rights-of-passage agreement, decades after eliminating the russians from the face of the earth. Joan refused, and added "We know about Russia, Ghandi." :lol:

Personally i see only one possible winner for the funniest thing the computer has said to me - as the chinese when I was at war with them:

'My armies are about to fall on your cities like a ton of bricks on a suprised duck!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

One for those who are fans of "Kentucky Fried Movie" and "Enter the Dragon":

Chairman Mao saying "You have our gratitude"

Last night, My Babylonian bowmen where heading straight to finish off those pesky Zulus. I opened a dialogue with him and demanded everything..he replied something like "Why don't you pick on somebody smaller." I wiped Zimbabwe and the Zulu Nation off the planet. Now, nobody is smaller, except the Persians, who I wiped out earlier.

Bismarck, after the Five Hundred Years War between Greece and Germany, where half of Germany were razed:

"All right, I listen. But mind that you don't try any of your swinging Greek merchants' tricks on me!"

Originally posted by Graeme the mad
Personally i see only one possible winner for the funniest thing the computer has said to me - as the chinese when I was at war with them:

'My armies are about to fall on your cities like a ton of bricks on a suprised duck!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Haven't even seen that but it IS really funny! Sounds something Rowan Atckinson would say in a Blackadder episode, or something from a Monty Pythons' movie!

She will - Persia has Iron again :flamedevi :flamedevi

I once tried an OCC type game on warlord level and very early on I irritated the persians and they walked in, took my only city and it was over. The other civs all ganged around me laughing and one said to me "Go back to Chieftan" I was so humiliated :blush::lol:

The most funniest is what Queen Elizabeth says usually:
"I, Elizabeth, Ruler of too much places to mention..." - rest isn't that funny, especially, when she demanded my second biggest city for peace...

ComradeRed, are we playing as Poland, or a guy standing on Australias highest Mountain? :D

I have yet to see some funny comments. Perhaps they'll arrive once I start taking down some of my surrounding neighbours :D

Foreign Advisor: "Egyptans have The Worker."
I was so scared :eek:
I thougt:"No! Everything but that! Not the Worker T-5 (best tank in history)!!!!!!!!!!!".
Then I understood that it was just a guy with digging tool...

And the funniest one I ever heard: Mao Tse Tung, after we gave him some of our tech achievements for 10 gold per turn: "May our friendship last as long as mighty castle, err... big rocks upon it!" I've used this, and so when we started a war against each other, I've burnt to the ground one middle-sized fortified city - well, "Big Rocks" have ruined the castle (and China, too).

It was quite amusing when I last night, playing as China had managed to get stuck on a small ( some 7 cities on it ) island remote from everything and generally pretty backwater, I was something akin to Japan in it's earlier years. Suddenly an american explorer plops off a caravel and then Abe comes a-calling. He hits my poor Mao leader with the offer to trade maps for a price ( good for me indeed ) and the comment : "You don't get out much do you?"

That was rather insulting I think. ;)

"Japan would never surrender to terrorists" Tokugawa



Wow!!! :goodjob:

How about "Sorry, Montezuma, but I lost all of my country's treasury in casino..." - quoted from great leader of Communism in China, Mao Tse Tun.

Those are all pretty good. Here's another one I got recently:

When you double-click on an unhappy citizen, it will give you a list of reasons why they are unhappy. When you do this when there has recently been a draft, one of the reasons is "No more draft! Hell no, we won't go!"

Nice one, coming uoip!

Lincoln (Proclamation of Abolution of Slavery, page 5th) - "Nice to see you Montezuma (or something like that), let's trade and make EVERYBODy rich!"

The Aztec people graciously thank the people of - whatever you culture's name is.:confused:

Duh, can't even remember who you are talking to?

Once, trying to get Egypt to declare war or something, I got something like this:

"I'll create a diplomatic incident on your head with this rock!"

Also, another time, I had a Domination victory, and Cleopatra said, "Two words: Wait 'til next time!"

I've gotten plenty of laughs out of the diplomacy in Civ3, but for my money, the funniest line in any Sid Meier game came from way back in Colonization.

As veteran players of Colonization know, the King often tries to raise your tax rate. You can respond by giving in (and kissing the royal pinky ring), or defying him and holding a "tea party", sacrificing some of your resources and refusing to trade them. There's a long list of resources, and the game selects which one to sacrifice based on what you currently have on the docks. So you can have a Cotton Party, a Tobacco Party, an Ore Party, and so on.

Well, one time I wanted to defy the King, and the resource up for sacrifice was Horses. So I chose the party and got a message that went something like:

New Amsterdam Horses Party! Dutch colonists throw 50 tons of Horses into the sea at New Amsterdam!

The image of a bunch of men struggling to hoist horses above their heads and throw them overboard nearly made me fall out of my chair with laughter.

Ah, Colonization, still one of my favorite games after all these years, and currently the only reason for me to use DOS-mode on my PC.

I was playing as the Japanese when my MMP(mutual protection pact) was about to expire with Greece Alexander said
"It`s always a SINCERE pleasure dealing with the most kind,gracious and generous Japanese.Unless there`s more to discuss,I`d like to go home and shoot myself..."



Saved me alot of time as i was targeting them for a 4 civ war to wipe them out..lol :D

I thought that this was a great way for the AI to ask for my help!

My advisors tell me that we need to ally with you in our war against the Germans, so that your forces can bear the brunt of the combat while we gather all of the loot. Are we agreed then

Yea Im gonna help you after you say that :rolleyes:

I found the funniest thing was when you ask for a revolution:

Yes, You know it's gonna be alright
No, You can count me out!

I've seen the stealing chickens and annoying women thing three dozen times, got dull quick, but with the Aztecs I saw two tresspass-related messages I hadn't seen before.

One when I was tresspassing:
Ah, Alexander. I assume that the Greek troops near to Tenochtitlan have come to volunteer as sacrifices for the upcoming harvest festival?

And the other when they were and I confronted them about it:
Uh, certainly. They were just looking for 'volunteers' to join in the upcoming winter sacrifices. We'll try elsewhere, shall we?

Another great one unrelated to tresspassing:
Evil Germany persists in attacking our cities, our women and children, and our cattle. Please ally with the Romans, Alexander! We MUST protect those cattle!

Liked those much better than the chickens and women one I see too often ;>

Xentropy that last one was REALLY good!, course there is no greater agony than losing on chieftain and seeing the words go back to chieftan!:cry: (course it was my first ever civ. game)

Once i had troops in greek territory and alexander told me to get out, the agreeing response that i got to choose was "My bad!" (after that was the usual will withdraw stuff)

i have 2 funny english ones (besides the usual)

1. after winning a diplomatic victory on regent, other leaders, bruised and bandaged, start blurping out comments. and a badly hurt elizabeth said "my doctor says i can play again in about 60 seconds"

2. also from elizabeth "please hurry up, i'm scheduled for my milk bath soon"

just happened to me in GOTM #3:

Just an off topic question, and sorry for being ignorant, but whats the deal with 'My Bad'?

Is this like a bad translation like 'All your Base' or what? How did it originate?

Thanks,
Brian

"My bad" seems to be a Europeanism that spread via the Internet. I first encountered it on IRC a few years ago, but I have never heard a North American actually speak it in conversation.

Ok,it seems that the "all your base are belong to us" thing is pretty popular.Can somebody tell me were it originates?Is it a movie quote or something?

One time, I was playing on a world map and had conquered the zulu down to one size one city(Zimbabwe). After making peace, I tried to extort 2 gold and Shaka said "Go find someone a lot smaller to pick on!" HOW MUCH SMALLER CAN YOU GET!!!!!

Oh yeah, "all your base are belong to us" can be found in a thread entitled: I was looking at the funniest things the comp has ever said and........

There is a link to a page that has the all your base video clip.

Originally posted by Jimcat
"My bad" seems to be a Europeanism that spread via the Internet.
The phrase has been lingua franca in Texas for at least eight years. Maybe by way of (Mexican) Spanish, similar to "it's all good" which derives, I'm certain, from "esta bien."

I have never heard a North American actually speak it in conversation.
Huh. Well, that would explain one more funny look I get up here in New England these days. Oh well, it's all good. :D

BTW thanks for the explanations of 'My Bad' :)


I just got something funny.. The English, as smallest civ, attacked me unprovoked (the biggest) without allies! So, the war is going as could be predicted, so they get another ally. Who? The second smallest! The Babylonians! And they happen to be right next to me.. or used to.. :lol:



Here is what the game announced as the babs declared war:
(I'm the big yellow one, babs are red, English are on the other continent, after losing 3 cities on mine..)

When you ask the diplomatic advisor to start a revolution, the yes-no box that pops up actually has the lyrics to the Beatles song Revolution on it. You say you want a revolution, weeeeelll you know, we all wanna change the world. But when you talk about destructioooon doncha know that you can count me out... cause you know it's gonna beeee alright.

Er, nevermind.

Oh yeah, and I tried to start a revolution while I was actually in a revolution and the diplomatic advisor told me to increase my medication.

Oh yes, and the time me and Mao put our bloody past behind us...

Mao: Our friendship shall remain strong, although the heavens rain, er, big heavy rocks on it!

I love Civ-3's lighthearted humor.

When you get a conquest victory and you go to the victory screen where the AI's taunt you and one of them says, "Oh yeah? You and what army? Oh, right." :lol:

Just asked the Americans to let me loan some cash. This is what Lincoln said to me:

[

sorry bout the post, posted int he wrong thread.

Originally posted by Julio
I don't care for sexist wankers who think violence against women is a joking subject. I'm glad most of the Brits I know don't share your sense of humour. Hopefully the UK release of will Civ3 give you something better to do.

Is there a woman alive who has a sense of humor about things? What is funny is that men get hassled for those kind of jokes, but men-hating feminists can say things like, "not all men are bad, some men are dead" and get away with it as a joke. The women "comedians" don't tell funny jokes, they just bash men. Sure maybe 50% of the population thinks it is funny, but they couldn't see humor if it bit them in their sweet candy-like behind. (sorry). If women had a sense of humor they could make everyone laugh.

I can see why they don't find it funny in the UK.

It is hard to smile when the sun just won't shine

Haha. Just a little light-hearted humour. For Gods-sake don't take anything I say seriously.

The funniest one I have gotten that I haven't seen listed is when I won the space race and the babs said "I thought we were supposed to kick you off the planet."

Both me and the Chinese were in Communism, and Mao told me once, which I found very funny:

"Increase your offer just slightly Bismarck, and together our people will march forward toward a glorious proletarian paradise!"

I didn't know that the diplomacy lines are affected by government type!

Shaka said this to me, he was polite and then I demanded 155 gold(all he had):

"We have ways to deal with bullies. They involve - let's see - snakes, ants, clamps, pointed sticks, wild dogs, boiling oil... And then things get REALLY unpleasant. Care to reconsider?"

That is it TO THE LETTER.

I have a screenshot if someone wants it.

Here's the picture. :D

Check line 2088 in diplomacy.txt in your Civ3 text gamedir.

"All your base are belong to us"

It's there.

It's in Alien versus Predator 2 as a death message as well...

I was playing as the Persians in one game, and the Zulu's were my next door neighbor. Since 3500 BC I had been involved in no less then 6 major wars with them, giving a little here, getting back a little more (it was on emperor level, btw). Finally, I beat them to modern armor, immediately upgraded all 28 of my tanks, and blitzed him. Shaka and his huge empire was toast in 3 years...but I forgot about the RoP with him (to get to the Romans in a previous war)...
About 20 years after the Zulu extermination, I tried to get a RoP with the Egyptians...they told me "We've talked to the Zulu's! We know how you honor your agreements!" You talked to the Zulu's, huh? What Zulu's? I killed all the Zulu's!
Just for that, I comitted mass genocide on them next...:lol:

I took the curry, and the rest of his civilization along with it!

Originally posted by gonzo_for_civ
Here's the picture. :D

...Hey!That's not Shaka...:confused:

I got both of these replies afetr refusing to pay tribute:

"Um well yes, normally we would immediately declare war but my generals seem to have lost the paper work. Uh....You won't be so lucky next time!"

"but of course! I was just kidding! Funny joke! HAHA!"

Originally posted by Jimcat
"My bad" seems to be a Europeanism that spread via the Internet. I first encountered it on IRC a few years ago, but I have never heard a North American actually speak it in conversation.

And exactly what part of North America are you in?

I live in the South and hear it all the time.

i live in Oklahoma and people say "my bad"

Not to get all technical, Erdrick, but actually, it's "Wouldn't be prudent. At this juncture." President George Bush senior said that. Juncture. Not time. I guess it's sort of a dicky thing to get all picky like this, but without juncture, it's totally different. By the way, I like the word wanker. Especially in the sentence "ya bloody wankah!"
-Warlord Brent:crazyeye:

"Three words - Increase Your Medication"

I don't know if anyone else has had this, but I got this off a Gracious Catherine last night...

"Greetings! How are those American peasants of yours? Keeping them downtrodden, are you?"

I am playing as the Americans.
My game has the fascist patch so Hitler is Germany's leader. Here's what he had to offer (as I remember it):

"You need knowledge to survive in today's fast-paced world. We offer you "Communism" to broaden your tiny minds." :crazyeye:

i have yet to see the "all your base belong to us" line in civ3, but i have had some funny experiences w/ the AI in trade negotiations:

The greeks when i accidently invaded their territory and appologized:

"Going so soon Raven? Our troops eagerly await your return!!"
:D heh civ3 sarcasm (and alexander looked so happy when he said it too)

also another one elizabeth said when she was beaten up and defeated

"I bet you a 100 gold you cant do that again"

:)

couldn't you modify Diplomacy.txt to make it say whatever you wanted? therefore aren't the validity of many of these quotes questionable even with the screenshot?

Then again, you can look at diplomacy.txt and copy all the funny quotes and put them up here. Easy to check for lies, just look in your own copy.

i once had that the romans said:"all your base are belong to uss"
ahahahah lol:crazyeye: :lol: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Dont think this has been posted already, if it has sorry. :) (At least I'm not re-posting the All Your Base is Belong to Us thing for the 30th time heh)

I think its funny how, if you tell the Russians that your troops approach their cities, and to sign a peace treaty, they say "We will bury you." That of course, is the famous line Kruschev uttered during the cold war. :D

I had the zulu down to one city and asked for peace. Shaka said you are to generous for your own good, if I were you I'd kill me. I decided to take his advice.

Hiawatha (has a stack of Frigates and Galleons off my coast): "Greetings, you backstabbing Joan d'Arc. Your puny civilization will perish unless you give me your technology."

Just as he was about to see a fleet of destroyers.

I just wish the choices were other than:

"We'll give you what you want... this time."
"Take your idle threats elsewhere, Hiawatha."
"That's it. Goodbye." (which is what I clicked) -- I hope this didn't give him the tech.

I would have preferred something like:

"You're a rude bastard. We'll give you what you want... this time."
(additional) "ROTFLMAO! And we want your first born male child. Propose a deal."
"I fart in your general direction, you empty headed food trough wiper. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now begone, or I shall taunt you a second time!"
"I'm sorry, but we have a bad connection..... click!"

Oh well, time to provoke a war.

here's one i find funny..

"Leave, now? But how will my troops learn the invasion routes? Er, forget I said that, will you? We'll leave at once."

another one i found funny was..

"Much like your skull, your threats are empty. Go away now."

last one i find funny is:

"Do you take me for a simpleton? I have emptied entire continents for less provocation!""

When I was in Anarchy because of a revolution I clicked on "change governments" again and the advisor said:

"We're already in a revolution... Sir, did you take your medication?"

We were invaded by Babylonia 25 turns ago. I think the most humorous thing so far is:

"Madame President, Rheims is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Paris is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Avignon is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Strasbourg is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Cherbourg is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Marseilles is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Athens is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Sparta is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Rouen is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Tours is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Dijon is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Orleans is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Troy is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Besacon is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Poiters is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Akkad is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Paris is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Lafeyette is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, St. Michel is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Nantes is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Tours is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Brest is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Grenoble is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Chartres is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, New Grenoble is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Gordium is in civil disorder."
"Madame President, Narbonne is in civil disorder."

"All we are saying... is give peace a chance." Okay so maybe they want to live under Babylonian rule.

Democracy sucks. My people are a bunch of wusses.

I was negotiating with Shaka and we couldn't reach an agreement, at the end he said to me "I have 3 words for you.. Take more Medication!

HAR

Okay a little background. I've been at war with Persia 3 times.

I just got out of another war due to war weariness. I kind of ignored Iroquois presence since I didn't want another war with them especially while I was fighting a war with Persia. They settle with Persia (non-allied). I go to the diplomacy screen to ask the Iroquois to leave. Of course I only get one choice -- "leave or war!"

My foreign advisor tells me to beware of Hiawatha since "He betrayed our friends the Persians several times." I felt like telling him to increase HIS medication.

Persia is no friend. So I got England to ally against the Iroquois.

One time Mao said something about me being a paper tiger when I wouldn't give him a peace treaty. :splat:

Abe said that I looked like "A person who had been in a hatchet fight and didn't have a hatchet."

One of the funniest things the com has said, not a nation but my foriegn advisor said this when i declared war on England who had an MPP with France, "Sire, those Morons over there in france have declared war on us. They have a mutual protection pact with England!"

After beating the game militarily, the English said"Oh yeah!You and what army.....oh,right":rotfl:

Originally posted by Grendel
Hey!

I'm not lying! No joke; Mao really said the ZeroWing "all your base" thing. It was after the game said "you have suffered a humiliating defeat" and pulled up that screen where all the leaders insult you.

As far as screenshots go, well, um... I *ahem* don't have a very recent saved game for that one, so I don't think I'll ever be able to prove myself... :blush:

I would like to note that Mao didn't just beat me into space, but all my bases really did belong to him -- see my tale of woe (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7699) for details.

Undoctored screenshots from reliable sources. Sheesh. :rolleyes:
It's true. I've seen it too. Sorry, no screenshot.

Originally posted by SKILORD
couldn't you modify Diplomacy.txt to make it say whatever you wanted? therefore aren't the validity of many of these quotes questionable even with the screenshot?

I have created a utility called Civ III Diplomacy Editor (http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26034)

This program lets you make the AI say whatever you want.

SKILORD is right. You CAN make the AI say whatever you want it to.

Its so funny i almost pee in my pants of laughing:lol: :lol:
Check it out!
http://www.civfanatics.net/uploads/fun!!!.zip

It says:A herd of French swine have been spotted rooting among
the garbage near Tokyo.Why?

Argh...what is WRONG with all of you? Have you no culture?!

"My bad" originates from the movie "Clueless". I recommend it highly, although I realize that such films don't always appeal to the male gender. :)

Elizabeth at the end of the game: "I was already beaten. You didn't have to eliminate me."

Abe Lincoln after the game: (nothing at all) -- I think he was doing something Picturesque and Pastoral.

Originally posted by Julio


What makes you think the virgins are female kOc? Maybe they're virgin males like, say, males who hang around Internet forums making sexist comments.
ouch[punch]

Once i lost on cheiftian by trying to win diplomaticly after starting a big world war with every one but the americans against me (3 others) (what was i thinking) anyway the world leaders told me to go back to cheiftian

This isn't anything diplomatic,nevertheless the Computer has said it.
I played as the Greeks,declared War on the English,moved my Knight into Newcastle and razed it.My military advisor is excited,wakes me up and says "Dear MADAM PRIMEMINISTER,we razed Newcastle".Wow,last time I checked Alexander was a man and a monarch (I also was currently a monarchy).

"My bad" has been around for years. It started out as an urban gangsta thing way back as far as ten years ago. Then all the white kids that wanted to be hip started saying it a few years later. Now just about anyone might say it, but it's starting to fade I think.

Just now i established contact with the english after a merciless war that lasted like 30 rounds(i blockaded their last city, Oxford...)
anyway, once i first got contact elizabeth said
"I, Queen Elizabeth, Ruler of the....whatever, greets you."
Obviously she hated her country ;)

I got a message from Russia one time about "Have you come to admire my beauty?" When I was in diplomacy with it. "Some beauty!" is what I wanted to say.

;)

Julio, Melinder, I believe that the funniest things ive heard on the comp was what you said to those dudes, and im a dude myself!
Sorry guys, but that was perty funny![punch] (ouch) "What makes you think the virgins are female kOc? Maybe they're virgin males like, say, males who hang around Internet forums making sexist comments." "Jeez flak, hippo, kitten -
ever wonder why the 93% of boys on this site aren't joined by more females?"

Interesting. I played a bunch of games and the AI always tells me the same boring things, nothing funny.

Always things like:

"You have our gratitude"

"We have no interest in such deal"

"We are so glad we could do an agreement"

Then that means you have no sense of humor

Seriously, I don't know why it happens. Always the same boring messages, never a funny or at least different one.

I checked my diplomacy.txt and it's ok, all the funny messages are there but it does not appear for me.

Does anybody know why?

it just a random thing

Or you have been in similar relations towards your advisaries. Allways on top, but not very friendly, so they are cautious, cool, but friendly?

Well, the most funny line I had was when I eliminated the Americans:

[Advisor] Sir, we eliminated the EVIL Americans

[Option A] What's the big picture?
[Option B] Great, they deserved it, now let's get on with the game

:D

I love to change the diplomacy.txt file and make the leaders and such say what I want them to say...

After I removed my army for violation of their borders
"And if you return again, be sure to have your army bring some lemon tarts. I do so love those!"

AI rejecting a plea for gold
"Ah, go stick your head in a pig! We have no many to spare to the likes of you!"
"Let's see. Spend money on myself, or spend money on you? Choices, choices... NO!"

AI rejecting a peace treaty
"We spit on your terms of peace! And dance on them! And burn them! And dance on them while burning and spitting!"

One of those lists that says which civs are best and worst
Civilizations for Dummies has compiled a list of the wealthiest civilizations...

lol
have you ever downloaded Pesoloco's diplomacy editor? or i figure you used it

No, I just edited the file myself. Isn't very hard :-D

I would love to know how they figure those advisor statements and the AI responses.

Trying to get MPP with France: "We've seen how you betrayed India. I don't think so." It was funny to me because the only contact I had had with India was a map swap about 1000 years earlier.

After the Zulu and I have allied and nearly obliterated England, I try a tech trade with Zulu: "We know the Zulu have betrayed our friends the English." Um, okay.

Later that same game when England has been reduced to 2 cities:"Greetings. Queen Elizabeth, ruler of way too many places to mention greets you." Better check that math Liz ;0)

Bismarck makes some ridiculous demand like 6 gold and a seriously outdated tech. I was already quite busy dealing with a large scale war, so I gave it to him: "You are an excellent bootlicker Mao. Keep it up." Funny if you're Bismarck I guess :0)

When I gave a very generous gift to Gandhi of the Indians: "Wow! How'd you know it was my birthday?" Then I also gave a generous gift to the Iroquois, and Hiawatha said the same thing. Two great leaders having the same birthday, what a coincidence! :D

Was it at the same time?

It's just incredible, my diplomacy txt is there with all the funny things and I played a bunch of games but the AI always tell me the same boring and repetitive things.

In one of my first games, I played as the Greeks and met the Romans. They had a much bigger military, and so Caesar came in and said... 'Nice little civilization you have there Alexander. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it.....

LOL

I request a gentlemens' meeting with Churchill and get this ridiculous greeting from him.

Here's another one, but this isn't funny. I almost tossed my cookies. Little wonder though, considering this is from the country with the highest gay population in the world.

More nonsense that came up in my game. Yes this is a mod, but I wasn't quite prepared for a deal like this. It's obvious that the americans have control of the Columbian area. Please be aware that this picture has been cropped to fit the miniscule new attachment size. :D

unscratchedfoot, those are great! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks Pesoloco.

To everyone who saw the Bush picture earlier, please look at it again because I replaced it with a better shot which occured during the same meeting. The second shot shows a ludicrously funny comment by my advisor in the top right part of the picture.

i thought this one was funny... first time i saw it :)

http://www.webb291.freeserve.co.uk/Pictures/Civ3/LOL1.jpg

China 2nd and me 1st (japan) are at war with Iroquois 14th :rolleyes:

wiped them out in 4 turns :goodjob:

overlag that save game there looks interesting, can you post the SAVE GAME here?

Originally posted by JoseM
overlag that save game there looks interesting, can you post the SAVE GAME here?

sure.... its finished now though....

http://www.webb291.freeserve.co.uk/Pictures/Civ3/To-of-the-Japanese-SPACE-1850-AD.zip

If you want older saved games from this one tell me.....

I won the space race but still had under 2000 points... i was rather disapointed

there was only 2 wars (with me in them anyway) I never lost a city, and gained like 6 of indians from flippage :goodjob:

China just got nukes after i sold techs to India so they could mine it for me, i had none in my borders and being friends ment invasion was a bad idea. They sold it to me nicely. So, one turn i had 0 nukes China 4, within 8 turns i had 4 subs with nukes, + 10 ICBM's.....

i realy should make my own thread.......... ;)


Best Cities (http://www.webb291.freeserve.co.uk/Pictures/Civ3/bestcities.jpg)

Power (http://www.webb291.freeserve.co.uk/Pictures/Civ3/power.jpg)


1818 (http://www.webb291.freeserve.co.uk/Pictures/Civ3/1818.jpg)

1852 (http://www.webb291.freeserve.co.uk/Pictures/Civ3/1852.jpg)

Originally posted by JoseM
overlag that save game there looks interesting, can you post the SAVE GAME here?

JoseM, it is written that to use another player's SAVE GAME is like using second hand toilet paper. Why did you request he upload the save?

hehe i dont mind

im a n00b anyway i doubt he will get anything from this. I think he just wanted to see how i the world had formed and what i had done during the game. :)

Originally posted by Perfection
Was it at the same time? Yes, it was at the same turn.

My favorite line is "We refuse. Go boil your head!". I was fooling around trying to get Japan to declare war on me by demanding gold.

I allways chuckle when i hear the "sorry no, it wouldnt be prudent at this juncture" I dont know why but it got that "i am superior" attitude to it.

Here's one, I don't know if it's already been said:

"Uh, yeah. I WOULD declare war, but my advisors seem to have lost the paperwork" - Cleopatra

"Confound you! We'll march to your cities with my armies...er, as soon as we'll get around to it" -Lincoln

"You are fortunante that your pathetic civ isn't even worth destroying!" -Xeres

"Just checking your border security, Hammurabi. And to tell you the truth, it's not too good." - Xeres This was when I just established a city and there was no defenders.

"Like your skull, your threats are empty." -Mao

"Japan is a paper tiger. Your threats are refused" -Mao

"With friends like you, who needs enemies? We decline" -Lincoln, gracious

"Well, it's cutting me own throat, but we can accept this" - everybody

"See? THIS is what happens when you judge leaders by their social standing. It wont' happen again!" Elizabeth.

Originally posted by hbdragon88

"Like your skull, your threats are empty." -Mao



LOL :goodjob:

I love this English comment "Well, hurry up, I need to take my milk bath" It was about the hardest I had ever laughed :lol: :lol: :lol:

Yeah. That's hillarous. but it goes like this "Alexander. I am l late for my milk bath, so kindly be brief" at least in the beginning. That's only the way I've seen it.

i gave a tech to the iriqouis and hiawatha said "i didnt know you cared!" with a huge grin on his face. something about it struck me funny.

i was at war with the romans and contacted them and asked them if they wanted to discuss peace terms and he said something about he'd wipe me out with his armies if he had any and since he doesnt, he'd love to discuss peace terms with me.....lol then i wiped them out the next round.



i get the milk bath remark from elizabeth too often, its not longer funny to me.


"we will leave your territory for now if only to get away from your inseccent yapping" -Mao lol

I don't know if this was posted before (post is too long), but i have feeling that all this new AI quotes come with patches.

Well that what makes it even better. A lot of the quotes I supplied (see above or on page 11) are after v1.29f. Then again, I never went to war before 1.29 so I'm not certain.

one time in anicent times i asked the amerikens for a loan of gold and he said "sorry, i have invested all my money in .com industries" or something like that.

or the one when your on there land, well sea in this case, then they say your troops are stealing chickens?

hmmm from the sea?

Mao once said, in the same situation - wanting for a loan of gold - "I'm sorry, but I seem to have wasted the country's budget on a game of fan tan."

FAN TAN?? I wonder what that means, anyway...

My god! I'm a little late, but that "all you base" site is hilarious! :rotfl: I have a new favorite website... I need a copy of that game.

Nothing funny to report... you've all said what I would :).

--Ex

One that Persia said was: "The Jackal does not dictate terms to the lion. We reject your sqalid demands." Hah! Is he stupid or what? I had an edited scenario in which I had already had established 11 cities and had 28 MAs in 4000 B.C. + a battleship and railroad threading through my whole empire and 10,000 gold.

What mod is this??

Most of these are right out of the game but a few may be from a mod

Cleopatra once said:

"Alexander, I can provide you with a connection to Engineering" while offering me Contact with India in exchange for my Engineering.

huh-huh AI is stupid.

Shaka, responding to our demand his ironclads get out of our harbor: "Persia is right to fear: if I were weak, I'd fear them too. We will withdraw."

Elizabeth, same turn: "We come and go as we please, Xerxes. Right now it pleases us to go."

Elizabeth, negotiating sale of horses: "This is my offer. It's a fair deal. Just take it and get out of my sight."

Elizabeth, informing me her borders expanded, and one of my workers was building a railroad on the tile: "Your borrible little soldiers near Richmond threaten English security, Xerxes! We are NOT amused."

Me: "We will move our troops immediately."

Her reply: "And do not return!"

I love annoying the AI....



Later!

--The Clown to the Left.

One funny thing I got was "(no reply)"

That was when I downloaded the Civ3 Diplomacy editor and organized some of the quotes by civs, and some of the civs had "(no reply)" and I got that a lot. Demand tribute, nothing. Greet them, nothing.

One funny thing I got was "(no reply)"

That was when I downloaded the Civ3 Diplomacy editor and organized some of the quotes by civs, and some of the civs had "(no reply)" and I got that a lot. Demand tribute, nothing. Greet them, nothing.

This is how Catherine greeted me when she opened diplomacy once:
"Well, Bismark, how are things with you in Germany? Keeping those peasants downtrodden and oppressed? Good, good..."
:lol:

Ok one last one:

I was on chieftain, lost a diplomatic victory. The leaders were on the next screen, taunting me. Joan said, "Go back to chieftain!" when, like duh, I am on chieftain...

When I won a diplomatic victory, one leader said, "A plate of hero cookies for you!" It wasn't hillarous, but it was funny for me.

just had a good one in GOTM13 when i lost...... Egypt said "oh was that your last city?" erm no, but you was out of the game by the 1400's...... silly AI

Originally posted by hbdragon88
One funny thing I got was "(no reply)"

That was when I downloaded the Civ3 Diplomacy editor and organized some of the quotes by civs, and some of the civs had "(no reply)" and I got that a lot. Demand tribute, nothing. Greet them, nothing.

The reason you got "no reply" is because when you changed the settings for certain messages, like AIFIRSTCONTACT, you did not add the extra messages.

For example, if you told it to sort by mood, you will need 3x as many messages. If you leave them blank, it is replaced with "no reply"

I know, I figured that out when I had organized them using Civ3 Diplomacy Editor. It's been fixed now, and no longer have that.

Originally posted by hbdragon88
I know, I figured that out when I had organized them using Civ3 Diplomacy Editor. It's been fixed now, and no longer have that.

cool. Glad to know you got it working ok.

When I demanded something, Lincoln said: "With friends like you, who needs enemies? We decline"

Whenever the Aztecs are in the game something good is bound to crop up ;

Here's another :

In my current game in modern times, Joan of Arc has shaved her head, and is wearing a "L'ARMEE" tee-shirt.

Kinda reminds me of Demi Moore.

I was playing PTW Multiplayer when I opened my advisors window to find the Science Advisor saying, "Compared to you, most people have the IQ of a carrot." I WAS ROLLING!!!! :lol:

When I was beating the crap out of Cleopatra and her Egyptians, I told her "Our troops are approching your cities. I urge you that you sign a peace treaty while you can"

She said: "Bring it on, baby!"

Hee hee. Ha HA HA HA HA. OH IT HURTS!!!! (you know I'm overacting but that is funny. ;))

I just wiped out the two other civs on my continent and had not yet met any other civs. My foreign adviser cheerfully said, "Make more friends!" So he's as blood-thirsty as me, it seems. The timing made me burst out laughing.

Originally posted by hbdragon88
When I was beating the crap out of Cleopatra and her Egyptians, I told her "Our troops are approching your cities. I urge you that you sign a peace treaty while you can"

She said: "Bring it on, baby!"

CLeo has always been a little fiesty one anyway ;)

In one of my recent games, I was the Babylonians, and the Chinese decided to sneak attack me. I fought them to a stalemate, and after like 10 turns, I went to them and asked for a treaty. Mao said, "War, huh, good God ya'll, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing!"

I was laughing so hard. :)

Originally posted by beorhtwulf
But as a Terry Pratchett fan, I just about fell out of my chair when Elizabeth made a counter-offer to one of my deals, "and that's cutting me own throat." :lol:

Yep. :) I :love: Terry Prachett.

Renata

I was playing my American scenario (mentioned in another thread), and I was making peace with China, when Mao said something along the lines of, "A wise man once said, 'you've got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them'".

Now, I had NO idea Mao was a Kenny Rogers fan! :lol:

I remember posting a game that sucked and Joan was in it. anyways I needed oil so I gave techs too her until she is in the industrial age. WOW she was BEUTIFUL! So I wondered what she was like in the Modern ages. So I gave her the techs.... and when I looked at her I screamed "OH MY GOD! IF THERE IS ANYONE UGLIER THAN THAT THEN PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME MEET HIM OR HER!! :lol::lol:

another good qoute is: "I lost a bomb. Do you have it?"
oh wait thats from RA2.

I can't find a thread for the most annoying things the AI has said to you, so I guess I'll post them here:

Asked to trade world maps with England and Elizabeth responded: We have no interest in such a deal. England already knows more about the world than you do."

And in this game Mao (who pays the most for tech when I get it ahead of him) keeps telling me: "Yours is a pleasant and accomodating little culture."

:mad:

I was playing against the Mongols recently and struck a deal with Genghis Kahn. He replied with

"It was a pleasure speaking with you. Odd, since you are so far inferior, but personality does go a long way."

After I made a MPP with the chinese

And acient Wise man once said,"One is the lonliest number"

I laughed so hard.

The best one I've gotten was from Shaka, who was being beaten up pretty badly and needed an alliance:

"[Some evil civ] is attacking our women, our children, and our cattle! Please ally with us! We MUST protect those cattle!"

Whoever wrote these is brilliant XD

I don't know was it mentioned before, but my science advisor keeps saying: "Compared to you, msot people have an IQ of a carrot."

Well I am flattered!:lol: :wavey:

Oh, and Isabella saying: "Is there a Viking hobo near Seville?" when my Grand Armada was making ready for to land hordes of Berserkers. That's more then just a Vaking hobo, you know!

I was at war with the Greeks (see My First Celtic Game) ad my crazy forgein advisor said...

:lol: "We cannot trade with the Greek people as we have not a road to their capital" :lol:

Hello?!?! Earth to Advisor! We can't trade we are at WAR!

asking the furious Arabs for a loan ( not that I needed it, and neither did they have any money), I got this little nugget:" Never ! Evildoers shall receive no help from the Arab people! "

Originally posted by Grendel
Mao, after beating me like a rug in the space race (which I was seriously happy just to witness!)--

"All your base are belong to us." :crazyeyes
:rotfl:

Originally posted by puglover
I was at war with the Greeks (see My First Celtic Game) ad my crazy forgein advisor said...

:lol: "We cannot trade with the Greek people as we have not a road to their capital" :lol:

Hello?!?! Earth to Advisor! We can't trade we are at WAR!

Thats semi-funny.
It not like it weird, she truthful.