I have these friends, and they keep dissing me on the bus. I wish to hear some disses I can use on them.
For those who don't know what a diss is, it is a burn, zing, or any ohter word for insult.
Thank you! :goodjob:

Here you go: http://www.humorsphere.com/insults/

Any physical or personality attributes we can work with? ;)

Ask 'em if they would rather be stupider than they looked, or look more stupid than they are.

When they dis you, go: What!!?? I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU!!! Hmm.. mabye I should learn stupid as a second language!

Any physical or personality attributes we can work with? ;)

Uh... there are some personal ones. :mischief:
One thing we do is say they like a certain, *cough*slut*cough* in our class.
ANd ugly, fat, stupid, so on
EDIT: I got one too:
I'd try to see this your way, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass! :lol:
Shut up! If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart! :lol: :lol:

Ask them how much they value their house.

Next time they say something you could answer with:
"Sometimes it's wiser to say nothing and look like an idiot than open your mouth and prove you are one."

that little electric toothbrush is for your teeth, not your hair

I'm not sure they're smart enough to understand them, :shakehead but that makes it even better! :D

Just stick with the F' word.

I don't.

Just tell them your are rubber and they are glue

Just tell them your are rubber and they are glue

Fool! You insult like a dairy farmer!

Fool! You insult like a dairy farmer!

Hey! That's a good one! :p

Tell him he looks like michael jackson(thats the best insult)

Tell him his mom looks like michael jackson.

Tell him his mom looks like michael jackson.
Wow thats an even better diss :lol:

Take out your phone put it up to your ear, and say, "Mr. T just called. Apparently you're a fool"

I know that rubber glue thing was my idea of annoying spam. Actually i am pretty good at dissing people.

I know that rubber glue thing was my idea of annoying spam. Actually i am pretty good at dissing people.

So's my friend.
]Any more? :cool:

ram their head into the window

Just kick them in the jewels and laugh at them. That seems to work.

Fool! You insult like a dairy farmer!

How appropriate. You insult like a cow.

Just kick them in the jewels and laugh at them. That seems to work.

What if two of thenm are girls? :confused: (the two who can't diss) :lol: :lol:

i alway's liked:

"does your mother know that you are the dumbest person on earth?"
either a no or a yes confirms that they actualy are the dumbest person on earth.

most people say "no", to which you add "oh, she doesnt know that you're the dumbest person on earth? you should tell her, its not nice to keep things like that from your mother."

Just ignoring them usually works.

It is difficult for us to create an effective insult to your friends, as the best insults use individual characteristics about the person you are trying to insult. Perhaps you could tell us some?

yo' mama so fat, she sat down, she was fat
yo' mama so stupid she starved to death in a grocery store
yo' mama so fat, she walked in front of the TV and we missed two commercials
yo' mama so fat, when she sits around the house she sits around the house
yo' mama so fat, she was lying no the road, so we swerved miss her. then we ran out of gas
yo' mama's like a doorknob, everyion gets a turn
yo' mama's like a TV set, even a 2 year old can turn her on

Yo' mama cusses like Ybbor :p.

Diss the people by telling them that" if brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to drive an ant's motorcycle around a penny" Thats one I use on people alot, as a matter of fact once I say it they are quite stuned :lol:

Tell them that their like a walker. They can get stripped by a 89-yearold.

tell em that their moms like hardware store, 5 cents a screw.

Situation got worse!
Now I have declared war on Jack (in Civ words), as he has a locked alliance with the girls! (in my words. He knows what he's doing, he has Civ, too :()
Now, I need anything i can get!

If he is homophobe, you can tell him he's acting gay by allying with the girls.

:p I know you are but what am I? :p

Yo momma so fat, when she bends down there's a total eclipse.

Yo momma so fat, when she falls over she rocks herself to sleep trying to get up again.

I'd say he has got to shut up or he won't get free sex from his grandmother anymore

I'd say he has got to shut up or he won't get free sex from his grandmother anymore

:lol::lol::lol:

I'd say he has got to shut up or he won't get free sex from his grandmother anymore

:lol: :lol: :lol:
USed it. But... except for his grandmother, I used one of his allies (who he obviously likes)
It shut him up for 2 days! :lol: :lol: :rotfl:

okay, kind of pathetic (and most a little girly), but:
You know how some dogs are so ugly they're almost cute? Yeah, you're more the regular kind of ugly
Have you thought about trying some new hair products? Personally, I'm a fan of shampoo
What was that? Sorry, I was distracted by your breath. Have you tried flossing/mouthwash/teeth brushing?
Wow! That face! Did you lose a bet with God when you were born?
Has anyone ever told you that you look fantastic in that shirt...without breaking out in laughter?
Whoa... what did you do to make your hairdresser so mad

Yes, yes, very womanly.

Since this jack kid is now in the fray, you can take KaNick's advice of kicking him in the jewels and laughing :lol: ow that would hurt :cry:

Tell him his sister is a whorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible person

Kill him.


No wait, that's illegal...

did your mom dress you in the dark, or is she blind?

EDIT: War again! :D

You've got something on your neck. Oh no wait, that's your head.

When you glance at the person, scream you head off and clutch you face. When people ask, say that you saw the persons face. Continue by more screams and fall onto your knees shouting, "Why, God? Why?" Resume in a fetal position. lol, I think this should go in the 100 Way to Annoy people thread.

Whol lot of the disses that I make, or burns as my people usually refer to, involve lots of physical movement. It's makes them more striking. Kinda.

i alway's liked:

"does your mother know that you are the dumbest person on earth?"
either a no or a yes confirms that they actualy are the dumbest person on earth.

most people say "no", to which you add "oh, she doesnt know that you're the dumbest person on earth? you should tell her, its not nice to keep things like that from your mother."


And if they say, "I'm not stupid", then you can say, "The first step to overcoming your problem is admitting you have one. However your's seems to be unfixable."


EDIT: Taken from Spiderman (the movie) when Peter Parker is insulting a pro wrestler in the ring: "That's a cute outfit, did your husband make it for you?"

Any comments on mine

Well, if you need anymore, use a variation on RoddyVR's:

i alway's liked:

"does your mother know that you are <<insert insult here, just as gay, or anything else that they would find extremely insulting, but is sort of possible>>?"
either a no or a yes confirms that they actualy are <<insert insult here>>.

most people say "no", to which you add "oh, she doesnt know that you're <<insert>>? you should tell her, its not nice to keep things like that from your mother."

Alright, I have made peace with Jack! :D (that was short)
I gave him 1000$ (don't ask)
Now I just need to get is Allies, Anna, and Laura (Laura might be out of it. I got her so much today! :D)

How did you "got her so much today!"?

:lol: :lol: :lol:
USed it. But... except for his grandmother, I used one of his allies (who he obviously likes)
It shut him up for 2 days! :lol: :lol: :rotfl: [Some emphasis added]

Ah... Fifth graders... Good idea using one of them though :lol:.

How did you "got her so much today!"?

I dissed her. Alot. Alllloooooooooooottttt...
Got any more? :undecide:

I would have been your father if the dog didnt beat me over the fence.

Did they ever figure out which one of the dallas cowboys is your father yet?

Your face hurt? its killing me.

heres the 25cents I owe your mom for last night.

heres the 25 cents I owe your sister for last week.
(flip a quarter to him and wink)

heres the 25cents I owe your mom for last night.

heres the 25 cents I owe your sister for last week.
(flip a quarter to him and wink)

That's calling me the, you know ;)

No, that's calling his mom it.

Hm... Trying to think of more. I'll edit them in when I get them.

Also, I meant what disses did you use on her, I got the general idea ;).

Well, one is to ask how much money they've made off of this Jack kid.

Also, I meant what disses did you use on her, I got the general idea ;).

Things... :mischief:
This is 5th grade (yeah, I'm that young)
All we talk about people that "loke" people and "do" people. hehe.
If you got other ones, I'd be ok. :crazyeye:

Considering you are in fifth grade, these might be seen as sort of funny:

Get off the bus, you're weighing/slowing it down!
Don't break the chair when you sit down.

Now, this is assuming that actually are overweight, otherwise it's just stupid.

Now, this is assuming that actually are overweight, otherwise it's just stupid.

One is.
There still good, tho. :goodjob:

I found this online:

I find your breath offensive. It keeps you alive.

the next time your mom goes to the gynecologist could you ask him if he could get my watch back.

Guys we better clean this up or he'll get suspended for profanity. It is fifth grade.

Guys we better clean this up or he'll get suspended for profanity. It is fifth grade.

He's only in the fifth grade :confused: I would recomend not trying mine then as the joke would probably be lost. I guess I still live in a world where fifth grade girls can't be sluts, I guess i'm going to have to accept the times. Fairly bad when you can make a 16 year old feel like an old man. Sorry I have no pg rated insults for you.

An old one...

Well, look what the cat coughed up today.

Thanks everyone. And good luck xerxes

if you catch um in a lie show them this pic and let them read

or ask them if they feel as stupid as this cat

You're extremly ugly to be that stupid..

or something like that..

Why, in gods name, didn't your father buy condoms?

I heard you carry a gun to shoot everyone that's uglier than you, I bet you've never had to use it.

Is that your breath? Or is it an animal that crawled in there and died?

Oh my god, the sockpuppet one is great!! :D :lol:

if you catch um in a lie show them this pic and let them read LOL! That's funny!! :lol: