Stairway to Heaven

Well, just for a start, it means you're not American, that you're British, very gentlemanly and quite funny.
johnhughthom said:
Conclusive proof of my innocence.
Click to expand...
Well, if you say so.

Hey, everyone! Double A being alive is conclusive proof of johnhughthom being town!
 
Decisive proof. A decisive witness. That's what us prosecutors like.
 
Dear God,

Murder Takhisis.

Yours,
Double A
 
Skwink said:
Which of us voted to lynch a innocent townie? I'm going to guess that God doesn't like that.
Click to expand...

Actually, he would. God is the leader of the Mafia.
 
Zack said:
Night One​





mayor had kept completely silent the entire Day, while almost everyone else concerned themselves with accusing everyone else, their mothers, their mothers' mothers, and their mothers' mothers' mothers' second cousin twice removed of being disgusting scumbags. Whether out of respect for his peers, a lack of respect for his master :)cry:), laziness, or forgetfulness, mayor marched to his own beat, speaking not a word nor lifting a finger -- not even a pinky -- of accusation.

Thus, it only seemed natural that when confronted by a grim man pointing a fully-loaded AK-47 at him, mayor simply stood in place, neither moving nor speaking. The armed man did not look to be enjoying himself. "I don't want to do this, mayor... but I have to." With that, the man unloaded a deadly round of hot metal into mayor's torso, killing him. Mayor was as silent in death as he was in life.

Spoiler :
mayor was a Vanilla Townie!


mayor then descended down to Hell, doomed to play Texas Hold 'Em with Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin for eternity.
Click to expand...


curseword, I thought I had notified every GM :( I was in Greece last week...
 
mayor said:
curseword, I thought I had notified every GM :( I was in Greece last week...
Click to expand...

Oh well, you can still hunt scum in hell. :)
 
You surely meant "night" there. ;)
 
Night Two​





classical_hero raced up to his bedroom and collapsed onto the soft mattress contained within. The only thing he feared for more than his life was what sort of cruel joke the narrator would make of his death if he was killed. Despite his efforts to find blissful sleep, classical_hero tossed and turned and turned and tossed, and sleep refused to bless him with its presence. Just as his eyes finally started to droop, someone started playing his piano downstairs. Classical_hero's eyes bolted awake at the sound. A hero in the classical sense, he could recognize Beethoven's 35th in D Minor in a box, with a fox, in a house, or even with a mouse.

Grabbing the scissors off of his nightstand, classical_hero tiptoed quietly down the stairs, preparing to strike against the intruder in his home. After reaching the bottom step, he looked around the corner and saw only the hands of someone playing his piano. Furious, classical_hero charged around the corner, scissors raised high in the air, at the piano prodigy. However, shocked upon seeing the man's nudity, classical_hero stumbled onto the floor, gouging out his eye with the scissors, which proceeded to impale him all the way through his brain.

"Never run with scissors," were the last words classical_hero ever heard.

Spoiler :
classical_hero was a Vanilla Townie!


classical_hero then ascended to Heaven, where the strip poker tournament with countless virgins was just beginning.

~~~~~~

askthepizzaguy was exhausted after his day-long vacation to regions unknown. After muttering a clever one-liner to himself describing his exhaustion which this narrator rather conveniently did not catch, askthepizzaguy stripped down to his birthday suit, then put on his footsie pajamas. "Boy, I am starving," askthepizzaguy yawned.

The doorbell rang as soon as he spoke. Askthepizzaguy trudged over to the door and opened it, where he was puzzled to find none other than a pizza delivery guy. "That'll be eight dollars and fifty-six cents."

"I don't remember ordering a pizza," askthepizzaguy started, "but it is kind of funny that out of all people to mistakenly deliver a pizza too, it was me."

The pizza guy smiled. "Oh, this is no mistake."

Askthepizzaguy shrugged and payed the pizza guy. "It's been a long time since I've had company, do you want to come in?"

The pizza guy checked his watch. "Why not? I've got nothing else to do."

They then went to play eat pizza and play pool on askthepizzaguy's fancy new pool table. After a few minutes of good times and greasy hands, the pizza guy pointed out the beautiful, sweet-smelling candle over there somewhere. "You know, that's a really beautiful, sweet-smelling candle over there somewhere," he said.

Askthepizzaguy furrowed his eyebrow. "I don't think I've ever thought of it as beautiful, but thanks, I guess. Eight ball, corner pocket."

Just as askthepizzaguy was lining up for his shot, the pizza guy revealed he was no true pizza guy at all, which was most unfortunate for askthepizzaguy that the pizza guy was no true pizza guy, because it isn't often that askthepizzaguy gets to play pool and eat pizza with true pizza guys, and it's not too often I can make such a confusing run on sentence about the pizza guy who really wasn't a pizza guy interacting with askthepizzaguy who used to be a real pizza guy but isn't a pizza guy anymore, in contrast with the pizza guy he was currently playing pool with, who was never a real pizza guy and never will be a real pizza guy, but instead is a fake pizza guy pretending to be a real pizza guy in order to gain easy entrance into askthepizzaguy's home; anyways, the fake pizza guy revealed he was no true pizza guy when he threw the candle on the floor, then killed askthepizzaguy in the Billiards Room with the Candlestick.

Spoiler :
askthepizzaguy was a Vanilla Townie!


askthepizzaguy then descended down to Hell for his eternal boxing match with the Boxing Bot 3000.








Vote to lynch someone in BOLD!





DAY ENDS IN 47 HOURS AND 40 MINUTES!​
 
Heh, another Monty Python reference with c_h's death.

Hmm, I just noted that c_h looks like a face...kinda like a borg face, almost.
 
All characters and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or events, whether they have happened or are happening is purely coincidental.
 
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