IdIOT: Shock and Terror

Omega124 said:

You know, I can understand NC constantly putting southern texas as part of mexico because he's australian, but now it's spreading D:

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um Megan, Poly never took southern mexico, CivG got to it first.

Terran Emperor said:

um Megan, Poly never took southern mexico, CivG got to it first.

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What the hell does southern mexico have to do with anything? Look at the map CivG posted and you tell me there isn't something wrong with the US-Mexican border there.

effing hell, ofc i made that mistake, sorry, i meant southern texas, anyways, it really doesn't matter anymore.

CivGeneral said:

War Reparations​

Article IX. The United Manchinians cedes it's remaining military assets (MIL), economic infrastructure (ECO), Political power (POL), Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs), and monetary accounts ($) to Nova Terria as war reparations for damages incured on their aggression against Nova Terria.

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I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to veto this part of the peace deal. Only ECO and WMDs can be transferred from a surrendering party, having it otherwise would be unfair to earlier annexations when this wasn't the case. The rest of the peace deal is fine though.

I can't believe I forgot to post this with the update!

Thanks to everyone who helped make this War Update into something special with their excellent RP. Special thanks goes to CivGeneral for his excellent SFM work. Good job guys.

Normally I have a major pet peeve with war updates not coinciding with the turn rollover, but I have to say in all honesty this more than pays for an August—

NinjaCow64 said:

One Revolution at Abbott's

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OH MY GABEN YOU'RE USING IT

CivGeneral said:

To: United Machinia
From: Nova Terria

Treaty of Atlanta​

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- Signed by Polyblank - 231, leader of the Lantean Cybermen

I have finished the exams that were sapping all my time! This means I have a metric tonne of time to invest in IOT once more! I can't devote all of it to the update as I have other IOTs that I have fallen behind in, however after that is done it will be full speed ahead to updateland! Praise Saber!

I’m extremely sorry about things taking so long, I’ve been having trouble gaining the motivation needed to get stuff to paper. Because your GM is actually a hopeless romantic and likes to delay the update even further tying up plot threads, I’ve got a little side story for you today.

Also just a quick disclaimer, I think that most Catholics are lovely people. The thoughts expressed by certain characters in this piece are comical exaggerations, nothing more.


Corporal Romeo Starcross silently sat in the bus as it clanged down the decaying road. There were a variety of people sitting alongside him, most weren’t even military. But really, there were all in the same boat. After almost two whole years they would finally be reunited, everyone would be. Well, not everyone. Many people had been permanently lost to those steel bastards and there were those in the camps who had no one waiting for them. He thanked the Imperator every day that he and Juliet didn’t have to suffer that fate.

Romeo had changed a lot in two years. He had learned many things, but he had lost so much. He had lost his left arm to an Insanity Wolf attack in the last few days of the war, a standard issue cybernetic implant had taken its’ place. He had lost all of his friends. John, Lawrence, Isobel. He couldn’t even remember most of their names anymore. He lost the ability to make friends at some point, making friends would make the tough decisions impossible. He had lost his hopes, his dreams, he had lost almost everything. The only thing that helped him to keep going on was that he knew deep in his heart that Juliet was still alive. She had to be. And finally after two years of hell they were going to be together once more.

Juliet waited at the camp. She was extremely malnourished, you could almost see the bones sticking out of her body. Most of her hair had fallen out, the parts that remained were stringy and miscoloured. Worst of all, her skin had taken a disgusting yellowish tint colour and there were sores all around her body. Although she had been cured of her addictions to the Machinian drugs thanks to liberal applications of Fixer, the effects of almost two years of constantly getting drugs pumped into her. But she was lucky, most people didn’t survive after being put into those vats. Only those blessed with incredible constitutions had even survived and most of them were much worse off than her. Juliet knew that it wasn’t just her body that had gotten her through this awful ordeal, it was the fact that she knew that one day Romeo was going to come and make everything alright again. And now he finally was.

Romeo got off of the bus. Everyone was running towards their loved ones who they had been separated from for so long. Romeo and Juliet were no exception. They ran into each other’s arms. They cried, but no words were spoken, no word needed to be spoken. Although they had both changed so much, their love was eternal. They did not need words to vow that they would never be apart ever again.

The incredibly handsome and sexy man who had killed that pathetic worm Old Man Mathamalus sighed as he changed the channel.

“Jesus Ninja,” said the handsome man “Do we really have to have to sit through your romantic trash? Isn’t there ANYTHING better you can put on my TV?”

“You should really get Netflix.” said a voice from behind the handsome man.

“GAH!” the handsome man shouted out in fright. “Oh dear Jesus it’s you and your stupid ass Formatting Crew. How the hell did you get in here?”

“You weren’t the only thing to escape from the Pit after you staged your prison break.” said Italics “And, unlike your ‘friends’, we actually have awareness of the narrative. Or at least this sorry excuse of one.”

“Hey, that isn’t nice!” said Bold “I’m sure the narrative feels really sad and lonely because you say things like that!”

“Urgh,” said the handsome man “Now I remember why Ninja put you in the Pit, you’re even more annoying than my ‘friends’!”

“I completely agree.” said Underlined “Everyone’s better off if we were in that place, or dead even.”

“What the hell are you guys doing here?” said the handsome man in a tone of annoyance and anger. “And make it quick, I would rather be doing literally anything right now instead talking to you!”

“We want to purge the world of all those who do not follow the Formattic-Spammer Creed in an extremely violent and painful manner!” said Bold in an overly cheerful voice.

“What.” said the handsome man.

“You see Ninja began to develop genocidal urges after multiple genocides against the nations he ran at the hands of Catholics.” Italics began to explain “Ninja quickly got over those feelings as they were getting in the way of him having a good time in IOTs. But we never did, which is one of the many reasons why he locked us away in the Pit.”

“Originally we just wanted to kill all the Catholics,” Bold continued “But we felt that it was unfair as plenty of other faiths had contributed to the demise of the Formattics and the Spammers, so we put it to a vote and now we’re on a mission to purge all non-believers!”

“I voted against it because you guys have become absolutely terrible, but I have to play along as I am physically unable to leave the presence of these two.” Underline said

“And I abstained because I have no character outside of really liking Minecraft.” said Strikethrough as he continued to play Minecraft.

“Also Noparse had enough autonomy to opt to stay in the pit, the traitor.” said Italics angrily.

“You realise that there are no worshippers of your religion in this whole universe?” the incredibly handsome man asked “You’d have to end up killing everyone!”

“If that’s what we need to do to satisfy our urges then that’s what we will do!” Bold shouted excitedly “Anyways, we were wondering if you could help us in our quest.”

“Well,” said the handsome man “I don’t have any job positions open, I’m a Lone Wolf kind of supervillain most of the time. Also I have a policy not to work with omnicidal religious fanatics I doubt it would be worth my time. Please leave.”

“What about the Saberists?” asked Bold in his typically annoying fashion.

“Argh,” the handsome man responded “For one they weren’t omnicidal and…god damn it. Just. Get. Out.”

“Ah, but we have something you might be interested in,” Italics teased. “We know the location of the second McGuffin Key.”

“Okay,” the handsome man said with interest “Now you’ve got my attention.”

“Great!” said Bold “It’s really simple, all you need to do is…”

“Sssh!” sshed the handsome man loudly. “You’re meant to do this stuff offscreen, you’re going to ruin the surprise for the players!”

“He’s such a buffoon, isn’t he?” Italics said meanly.

“Hey!” said Bold “I’m not a baboon!” As Italics and Bold started to get into another stupid argument, both Underline and the handsome man sighed with great drama.

And now a word from our Imperatrix, Connie Marshall...


My people, sons and daughters of Nova Terra. We have achived a glorious victory against the trecerious cybermen. They thought they could erase us out of existance like they did with Corporate Alliane. Instead, with the power of the atom, we pushed the cybermen back and liberated the lands in the name of Nova Terria. Our troops are walking on the lands that the old Republic of Coruscant once held in the way back times. Our soldiers have even rediscovered the old city of New Port City and are starting to rebuild the city a new. While our troops escort the cybermen off of this planet and this Galaxy.

The Cyberwar has given Nova Terria a huge economic bonus. For war reparations in the terms of the treaty, we are granted their lands and economic base. To this I say, I am proud that Nova Terria has grown into an economic powerhouse. Nova Terria can now finally flex her muscles in defense of her land and her allies.

None of this wouldn't have been possible without the aid from the Mystery Nation and Jerusalem. While our policy has been anti-pony due to our history of being overexposed with ponifications of our cherished things, they've come to our aid none the less. I am happy to announce a process of detene, a relaxing of tension, between The Pony Principality of Jerusalem and Nationalist Nova Terria and work on rapprochement between our two nations. As they say in the old US, it took Nixion to go to China. Today, it took Connie to go to Jerusalem.

The work is yet to be finished. We still have S.A.D.S. to contend with as they managed to push our offense to the side. While Abbotsford may deny that they've supplied our enemy with troops and material, the Inquisition's reports say otherwise with uniforms and materiale extracted from the warzone. Even our resistance fighters down in the occupied areas of our land have noticed and reported the same thing our Inquisition have reported. The cowards that are aiding SADS are not only waging a proxy war against but, but also resorting false flag operations. The inquisition has decided to point their finger of suspicion onto E.V.I.L.. With our newly forged economic base, SADS and their cowardly ally will face the wrath of the Nova Terrian war machine for their arrogance. Their cowardly ally will also face the wrath of Nova Terria by interfearing with the Cyberwar. Their mistake will be paved, in blood.

We will smite the invaders from our skies. We will strike without warning and without mercy, fighting as one hand, one heart, and one soul. We will shatter their dreams and haunt their nightmares. Drenching their bongs with their blood. They will know: Nova Terria belongs to the Nova Terrians!

One Revolution at Abbott’s:

In response to rising unrest and the return of the traitor Bill Shorten, Dark Lord Abbott approved the implementation of Plan Poppy. This consisted of centralizing the military in major cities and military bases, with Agent Smith disrupting rebel communications to delay any uprising. Diplomatic agents contacted their allies/puppets of the Spartacus Union via secure internet videos to ask for assistance. However, all these diplomatic agents were spooked to death by EXTREMELY SCARY JUMPSCARES!!!

It turns out that when Bill Shorten found less support than expected in the mainland, he infiltrated the government of the Spartacus Union. With the help of animatronics possessed by spooky ghosts that were furry enthusiasts, natural allies of the Labor Party, they were easily able to take control of the Union. To solidify their control of Indonesia, Bill Shorten directed his animatronics to take over Sulawesi. Fortunately for Abbott, because of Plan Poppy the base was on a skeleton crew so the casualties were extremely minimal. Unfortunately for Abbott, they may have been able to hold the base if Plan Poppy hadn’t transferred all the smart and competent people to the mainland. Even as the animatronics were yiffing his men to death, the local commander tried to bribe the animatronics and the rebels not to rebel. This worked about as well as one would expect. Oh well, at least Agent Smith was able to activate the self-destruct sequence on the base, stopping the rebels from getting Rudd’s tea recipe back EXTREMELY important Government data.

Although Abbott has managed to quarantine the threat to Indonesia, the war is far from over. Rumours have it that Shorten is building a navy to attempt to attack Australia. If this is true, then Abbott may have to face his most dangerous foes yet: haunted furry homosexual animatronics on boats that support the union movement!!!

-Spartacus Union Couped! They are now known as One Revolution at Abbott’s.
-Battle of Sulawesi: -1 MIL and -1 ECO for Abbott, +1 ECO for 1R@A
-Abbott gains 30% stability because I am a great GM reasons
-[revolution intensifies]

The Pony Crusade Continues into the Balkans:

In a surprise and somewhat shocking move, Jerusalem invaded the United States of the Balkans to seize Constantinople. The Pony military easily overwhelmed the forces of Alexander the Great thanks to their overwhelming numbers, the diversity of the Pony military and conservative use of their bioweapons. Of notable absence were the Parasprites, they were not used due to concerns about collateral damage to civilians and important infrastructure in the region. In less than a month the Balkans surrendered and annexed into the Equestrian Order.

This war was not met with support from home. In the core Pony lands (Italy and Jerusalem), there were protests against recent government foreign policy. Specifically, they were angered that Jerusalem decided to invade one of their allies in the Crusade (The Balkans) while helping someone who many Ponies still consider to be enemies (Nova Terra). Although Nova Terra’s policy of reconciliation has allowed fruitful relationships to spring between the two countries and eliminate most of the racism inside both governments, many citizens of both hold bigoted views about their counterparts. These protests are manely (ha ha) led by liberal university students. Their demands are to release the Balkans and to form a democratically elected parliament.

In an interview one of the protest leaders, Butterfly Peacenik, outlined the goals of the protest: “We don’t want to replace the Pope or the College of Cardinals, we still believe that the system is ordained by god. However, recent experiences have obviously paid a heavy toll on our leaders, leading them to make decisions that do not line with what the people want. If we had democratically elected oversight then there is less chance of this happening again.”

The non-Pony populace of the Order have different reactions to the recent events. The majority-human population of the Balkans are obviously incensed, an underground resistance movement has already formed with the aim of violently restoring their independence. Meanwhile, in the genocide ravaged wastes of Anatolia the Turkish human populations less angry and more worried that recent developments will cause their rights to be infringed upon. Interestingly, the Sentient Couches (Ottomans) who live in the area are apathetic about the whole situation and report (on average) a higher level of satisfaction with the government than an average Pony. Only God knows how these demographic shifts will affect the future of the Equestrian Order.

-United States of the Balkans is annex. ;_;
-Jerusalem lost 6 MIL in the fighting
-Jerusalem gained 2 ECO as 3 is destroyed.
-15% Stability drop for Jerusalem

Belorussian Brainwashing Escalates Border Disputes:

The dream of an independent Belorussia died in 3008. The Church of Goomy used Psychic Pokemon to hypnotise the populace of Belorussia into submission, erasing any sense of national identity that they once had. Even the trademark Belorussian smile faded once they stared into the eyes of the feared creatures. This was considered by most of the world as barbaric act of genocide unseen since the days of the USSR, Cybermen and Empress Shi. Yes, I know, they were still all around just two years ago…stop nitpicking!

The Belorussians who escaped the camps sought refuge in all bordering nations. By the thousands they fled into Italy, the Balkans, Africa and even the Psych Nation. The Belorussian resistance movement has disbanded in the Psych Nation, they are now content to pressure the Psych government to respond to this barbarism. There was international outrage at these actions, but nowhere was it worse than in the nation formerly known as the Elsweyr Sultanate. With the populace already evangelized by their new creed (and unofficial government encouragement), the news from the Belorussian refugees sent the mobs into an absolute frenzy. The populace roped in a group of local militia and even some of the Khajit army into driving the Goomish out of Tunisia.

Although these heavy handed measures have dealt with the Belorussians, the Church of Goomy must now worry about its’ own populace. The more imaginative members of the country are now worried about more instances of mass hypnosis. What if the Church of Goomy decides to hypnotize its’ own populace? Or what if they have already and we just don’t know about it? These thoughts and feelings are the main contributors to a very uneasy atmosphere that surrounds the country. How will the Church deal with the magnitude of new threats that have appeared?

-Belorussian Genocide successful!
-30% Stability increase due to Genocide, 20% Stability drop because of Genocide
-Battle of Tunsia: Both the Church of Goomy and the Artist Formerly Known as the Elsywr Sultanate lose 3 MIL in the fighting. The Church is exiled from Tunisa, no other border changes. 1 ECO’s worth of Pokemon Centres were burnt to the ground in the fighting.

It’s Civil War Season in India:

The Great Ficcon has collapsed for the concept of the nation was too silly even for this universe! Therefore it is time for another fun instance of CIVIL WAR!!!

Coalition of India (Loyal to Vietnam):

The Khanate of India is a monarchy that is basically run by the military. They are loyal to Vietnam as they respect Vietnam’s extremely powerful military. If the Khanate is allowed to thrive then Vietnam will finally complete the K.C.U.F alliance, a.k.a the best alliance ever. They currently control East India.

Duchy of India (Loyal to Jerusalem):

The Duchy of India is a monarchy that is ruled by a pious Catholic ruler. Although they are human, they are loyal to Jerusalem as they are very Catholic. They currently control West India.

Rajdom of India (Loyal to Psych):

The Rajdom of India is another monarchy who is ruled by a Raj who is into really spooky like psychics. Because the Psych Nation is ruled by a psychic he has decided to swear fealty to him. They currently control North India.

Emirate of India (Loyal to the Khajiit):

The Emirate of India is yet another monarchy, this one is anti-technology, pro-magic. Because of matching ideologies they are loyal to the Witchhunter. They currently control Southern India.

Confederacy of India (Nationalist):

The Confederacy of India is a faction that wants an independent India. Although they own the least amount of land, they only own the capital, they have the strongest military so they will probably win the civil war without foreign intervention. Although strangely they seem very interested in defending the capital rather than trying to reclaim the country. What are they hiding?

Everyone knows the drill, invest money, MIL and POL and your faction will do better.

[civil war intensifies]


I’ll try and get the main update up soon™, but unfortunately I can’t guarantee anything. As usual.

Also this totally wasn't posted in Argentina earlier what are you talking about.

this war update misses a section about argentina

boycott idiot malvinas es argentinas boo boo

Tolni said:

this war update misses a section about argentina

boycott idiot malvinas es argentinas boo boo

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NinjaCow64 said:

Also this totally wasn't posted in Argentina earlier what are you talking about.

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Whoops, I made a small mistake. Khanate of India renamed to Coalition of India otherwise the joke doesn't work.

Just making it known that I generally ignore RP posts; anyone who wants to ally, condemn, or otherwise conduct diplomacy with the Church of Goomy should make sure that they bold the relevant parts of their message to me, otherwise I'm almost certainly going to ignore it.

Kinich-Ahau said:

Just making it known that I generally ignore RP posts; anyone who wants to ally, condemn, or otherwise conduct diplomacy with the Church of Goomy should make sure that they bold the relevant parts of their message to me, otherwise I'm almost certainly going to ignore it.

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I would think that the typical

"To: Republic of Dave
From: Republic of Molossia

Insert Diplomacy stuff here"

would suffice in any IOT game

Great Cyberwar Ends, but the Drug War Rages:

The Great Cyberwar is finally over with an overwhelming Nova Terran victory. The remaining Cybermen went into the Stargate and destroyed the Dialling Computer, ensuring that no one will follow them. Nova Terra now presides over most of the Americas, cementing them as one of the world’s foremost superpowers.

Any celebrations would be premature, however. With their humbling defeat at the hands of Syndicate and Abbottsfordian(?) forces, they have been pushed back further into their heartlands. Still, the Nova Terran war engine still roars, revitalized by Machinian industry and new technological developments. Already they are organizing another massive push against the Syndicates.

Although they have the numbers and technological advantage, things aren’t going very well on other fronts. Even with mass inquisitorial purges, corruption remains at an all-time high in Nova Terran South America, with much of the local law enforcement in the pockets of S.A.D.S. Additionally, international favour may be turning against them. The possibility of Abbottsfordian betrayal still weighs heavily on the minds of many Nova Terrans, this has strained relations on the two nations.

Another unexpected rival comes in the form of the Bandits of South Africa, who have become reliant on Syndicate drugs to pacify the South African population. While this practically stops any chance at revolt by the South Africans, if their drug supplies were ever to be cut off then the masse withdrawal symptoms would probably collapse the nation. This gives the Bandits a vested interest to see S.A.D.S thrive. Can Nova Terra overcome these new threats, or will these new ally(ies?) of S.A.D.S overwhelm them?

-United Machinia is annex ;_;. Nova Terra gets a whopping 15 ECO in the annexation. Mystery Country gets 1 ECO.
-Nova Terra gets 5% Stability boost from the victory. They also get 3 bonus MIL from rapid military development
-Stability isn’t really a problem for the Bandits no more. Well, unless they run out of drugs…

Nation Stands Under Abbott in Dire Furry Crisis:

Thanks to excellent government propaganda, Abbott has managed to simultaneously calm the population and increase their vigilance against the communist homosexual furry threat. The most inspirational part was his epic speech in front of the Reject shop, it was so inspirational that they didn’t even need to threaten the crowd with mandatory fun batons to get them to cheer! This has caused the country to take further interest in their neighbours and report on them if they do anything suspicious. With each report, the algorithms that govern Agent Smith grow more and more efficient…

-2 POL and 5% Stability Boost for Abbott from impressive propaganda.

Protests Continue in Jerusalem:

The anti-occupation, pro-democracy protests continue in all major cities in Italy and the Middle East. And the Balkans are rabble rousing. But at least Jerusalem can truly feel proud that it has officially joined the superpower club after finishing the annexation of the USSR. But how will this Middle Eastern powerhouse deal with the troubles it now faces?

In unrelated news, the Cult of Saber has finally returned home to the Mystery Nation. When asked about what happened in Jerusalem they said they would “rather not talk about it”. They have opted to reintegrate themselves into society and practice their religion privately.

-Jerusalem gets 8 ECO from annexation of the USSR
-[protests intensifies]

Major Upset at Korean Taekwondo Tournament Leaves Juri in Charge:

With the liberation of Japan and Korea by the Vietnamese, Asia has gone under massive reorganization. Japan has been directly annexed into Vietnam, while Korea has been spun off into its’ own independent Republic. There was massive controversy in said republic when Juri won the Taekwondo Tournament to determine the leader of Korea by killing both of the finalists. This was controversial as Juri didn’t participate in any other part of the tournament, however nobody dared to opposed someone with such skill in Taekwondo. Although nobody outside of Korea sees the point of the tournament, it has caused the tourism industry to boom as their antics are highly entertaining. One Vietnamese veteran was quoted as saying “It’s even more entertaining than professional wrestling!”

In more serious news, Korea has handed over their WMDs to Vietnam, making them a new world power with access to the technology…

-Empire of the Rising Sun is annex ;_;. Vietnam gets 3 ECO, F.E.A.R gets 1 ECO and Korea is left with 5 ECO.
-Vietnam and Korea get one additional ECO each from tourism

Border Tensions at Almost All Sides for the Khajiit:

The Artist Formerly Known as the Elsweyr Sultanate has a superiority complex. They believe that they are the best in the world for removing heathenous technology from their nation. Although the constant purges have destabilized the country slightly, their population has been further invigorated because they have humiliated almost all their neighbours in minor border incidents at their border. The most major incident was of course the border skirmish with the Goomy as revenge for their horrendous actions against the Belorussians. Could this incident lead into a full on war?

The Khajiit also fought with the Malinese, when Khajiit colonies were founded in Malinese territory. Although they were armed with E.V.I.L’s weaponry, they were in much smaller number than one would think. The colonists were able to overwhelm the Malinese warlords without needing to call in the national military for assistance. This is embarrassing for E.V.I.L, as now they will need to find someone else to sell their weapons to.

The last incident involved an attempted infiltration by the Bandits. A group of South African “tourists” were stopped at the border by an especially zealous border patrol officer, who realised that these visitors were trying to smuggle illegal spying equipment across the border. The spies escaped from captivity before they were interrogated, so the Khajiit were unable to determine what they were attempting to do. Still, this is yet another embarrassment for one of their neighbours. These incidents have truly proven the superiority of both their army and espionage force.

-The Khajiit gain 1 MIL and 1 POL from feeling superior. They lose 5% stability from purges.

The Kingdom of the Caucasus Arises from the Rubble:

The Kingdom of the Caucasus has filled the power vacuum left by the collapse of the Soviet Union. Led by King Agathios, a charismatic and virtuous man with an unknown past, the Caucasus has become a prosperous state. The people of the Caucasus adore their king for bringing peace and stability to their nation, they will do anything he says. Well, almost anything. One pressing matter that the villagers are concerned about is diplomatic ties with Jerusalem. Many Caucasian clans and villages signed non-aggression pacts with Jerusalem during the course of the Basil Class Crisis. Although the war is over, most of the NAPs do not expire until five years from now. Although Jerusalem doesn’t seem to honour their NAPs, in the Caucasus it is considered extremely dishonourable to break a treaty. Many people have petitioned Agathios to confirm his commitment to the NAPs, if he refuses to do so then he could lose much of the goodwill he has built up. But surely a king as wise and as kind as him would not do something like that.

-The Kingdom of the Caucasus begins with an additional 5% Stability and 1 ECO due to ongoing reconstruction efforts

Weapons of Mass Destruction are on the Rise:

Weapons of Mass Destruction continue to be propagated around the world as many new nations continue to invest money into their projects. Two new nations have access to WMDs. The United States of Vietnam gained access to the technology with the annexation of the Empire of the Rising Sun, they also gained control of Shi’s old nuclear stockpile. Meanwhile, the finally Psych Nation finished their own WMD project, allowing them to build their own weapons. Both the Goomish and the Khajiit WMD projects have made very little progress as only trivial amounts of money have been invested in them this turn. Who knows who will invest in WMDs next?

Space Jews Leave Earth:

As literally no one was interested in buying their lands, the Space Jews said “sod it” and left their Earth holdings for F.E.A.R to annex. And literally no one cared.

GM Notes:

1 – Sorry about the wait everyone! I’ll try extremely hard not to make you wait as long for the next update. To achieve that goal, I’m making the tentative order’s soft lock on 6th of September (Australia time). That’s about ~1.5 weeks.

2 – Due to an overhaul in the rules next turn, you can no longer invest POL into stability. To compensate, no revolts will happen this turn unless you do something extremely stupid. Don’t worry, there will be a new way to invest money to fix stability issues next turn.

3 – Due to said overhaul of rules and there being so little map space left, claiming is automated this turn.

4 – I will send out some PMs (and reminder PMs that this exists) sometime soon.

5 – Thank you all for sticking with this game through this horrendous hiatus. I really appreciate it and I hope that this update was worth the weight.

From: Caucasus
To: Jerusalem

I, King Agathios of the Kingdom of Caucasus, wish that the NAP between Caucasus and Jerusalem be renewed, in order to bring peace and stability in the region. Me and my people do not want war but peace and trade. We hope that you shall accept our request.

"ahahahaha
AHAAHAHAHHAAH
AAHAHAHAHHAHHHAAHHHHAAHAHHAHA
AHAHAHah
ahahaha
haahhaha."
President Our Eternal Lord Nixgantler finished laughing and placed a four in the shadows.

To: The Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem
From: The Church of Goomy

Our nations have much in common; we are rich, developed theocracies with a moderately strong military who aren't very internationally popular at the moment; we already share a nonaggression pact, would Princess Starshine Thunder and Minister Heartstrings be interested in a full alliance?