Alas Equestria

Ah ha ha ha. :lol: That has to be one of the few funny things I've read in the past week.

...which says something, both about this story and the things I've been reading. Keep it up Clanky

ahh thanks :)

I remember thinking last month that the popularity of ponies will never spread everywhere.

*Turns on TV*
Spoiler :

Hah! :lol:
Those guys are the Tag Team Champions too.

What? :lol:

Well, WWE has always been on the cutting edge. I guess this shouldn't come as a surprise.
 
All My Autodocs


Link to video.

Upon resupplying at vault 101, or wherever it was, the Royal Expedition continued their trek back to Ponyta. According to one of the self proclaimed "more nerdy" members of the Expedition it would take a group of ponies traveling at approximately 4.0 miles per hour around 6 months to reach their destination. Throughout their journey this pony continued to talk at length about the historical prevalence of the concrete used in the roads they traveled upon. Claiming that this concrete was made from the very same gravel that once made up the 34th President's driveway.

They had endured burns, explosions, bullets, and all sorts of pre-war horrors. But one thing the bulk of the Royal Expedition could not stand is somepony who would just not stop talking. As they pressed on it only became worse. He just kept talking and talking; moving from topic to topic, quite hypnotic. It was truly a withering effect on troop morale. By the time they were a quarter of the way there half of the Expedition had already succumbed to madness.

As they continued on the incessant please of the Expeditioners began to become more and more difficult to ignore. Their cries of "Are we there yet?" and "Shut the hay up." could be heard for miles around. These relentless pleas caused them to chased out of more than one NCR township.

It took 18 months to reach their destination.



After failing the retake Salt Lake City the minuscule pony force was pushed back into a forest. Forced to watch in terror as an army of catapults marched on. An army which was capable of making no progress what so ever.



Upon entry into the hospital the doctors found an scene absolute filing devastation. Papers everywhere. On the ground, on the desks, in the walls. They were everywhere. It was as if someone had intentionally hid in the hospital during the nuclear holocaust and came out afterwards simply to place these files everywhere. As if they had nothing better to do. What greeted the group was a long dead, long decaying corridor of poorly lit half, empty, seemingly pointless rooms.

Take into account the poor visibility, dimly flickering lights, and the overtly ominous tone of the whole location they, naturally, decided that the best thing to do was split up.

Two of the doctors took to the surgical center while the other was relegated to the ER. Not that any of them really knew what those strange words or abbreviations meant. They probably should have. But for whatever reason. They did not care.

They had done it, they had found the most holy of all solid objects. They had found the autodoc.



There was only one problem. There was only the one autodoc. While it wasn't unprecedented for Doctors to split an autodoc in some cases, these were not the type of doctors to partake in something so charitable. Not that it would be a problem for much longer. The lights dimly flickered as the two starred at each other awkwardly.
 
New Moon Invasion (April Fools)


Link to video.

The war of super mutant aggression raged on. As the Royal Expedition rushed, or at least attempted to make reasonable time, back to the capital a small detachment was sent out further west to continue to the Expedition's mission westward. To recover, what they hoped, would help their monarch restore the natural balance.

On the home front the northern Equestrian army found themselves once more under attack by a super mutant bombardment.



All the while Luna was able to escape the moon, evidently it had something to do with the massive amount of energy released on the planet or possibly the stars. Although that would not ordinarily be enough. It was assumed that the lack of a key individual ultimately led to the escape. An individual who was likely not really any more important than a calendar.

Having had several centuries to prepare Luna was able to conquer the moon under a new Lunar Empire. As emperor of the moon Luna naturally had access to all the satellites resources. Which meant that Luna had control over more rocks than any other single power in the wasteland. Luna wasted no time. Using the immeasurable collateral damage of moon rocks they were able to conquer all of the enclaves lands in but a few weeks. Giving this Lunar Empire access to advanced power armor.

With this the emperor officially declared war on the rest of the wasteland.



Not even Equestria was exempt from this evident global conflict.



Having subjugated the enclave the Lunar Empire turned its attention in all directions. Making rapid progress on all fronts. The factions of the wasteland were technologically no match for the lunar armies.

At last the empire was at Equestria's door. The royal guard knew their duty and they did it. They fought and died for their honor.

Spoiler :



As the blue tide continued to sweep across the continent more and more were fleeing to the east. Within days of being sighted by the Lunar army New Canterlot too fell before their might.

Spoiler :



Eventually the last holdout of Ponyville too fell. But, it was the last to do so. Ever defiant to the bitter end. While many other cities would simply surrender to the oncoming armies whom had already destroyed not only their army but their government as well; the denizens of this town refused to surrender. They just kept holding out for assistance. They just kept hoping for aid. Aid that would never come.

Spoiler :




With that Emperor Luna's conquest of the wasteland was complete. None could dare oppose her will. As the new moon set across the horizon the world would soon the know the wrath of a little horse with too many rocks.



Spoiler :
how did she not win a domination victory?
 
Uh.....................
:confused:

Wow. That came out of no where.
(At least no where terrestrial).
 
I bet Equestria would have survived if it had a certain Bringer of Light and her companions fighting for them. :cool:

 
Those Enclave Ponies are the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
 
I bet Equestria would have survived if it had a certain Bringer of Light and her companions fighting for them. :cool:
Spoiler :

I have a feeling they could have avoided a lot of shenanigans that they have faced thus far if she had been involved.

Well Played :goodjob:

Thanks I had to wait so long to use that update, it was worth the wait.

Those Enclave Ponies are the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

Thank you, those guys took forever to rig.
 
I have a feeling they could have avoided a lot of shenanigans that they have faced thus far if she had been involved.
I am also disappointed that this was the first Fallout: Equestria reference in this thread.
 
Just a Dream


Link to video.

Aboard a west bound caravel a small horse slept. Slept for what felt like 2 months, 8 days, and 9 hours. They were abruptly awoken by the awkward swaying of the ship. It was a well established fact that Italian caravels, while cheaper than the more common Portuguese ships, were of far worse quality and far less comfortable to travel in. During the voyage they had experienced night terrors about a distant conflict.

A conflict involving an empire so far removed from its neighbors both in terms of technology and geography that it was able to completely overtake them with seemingly no losses. Of course this small horse had been confined to their quarters for such ravings. But they just felt so real to them as though they had had an entirely different existence up until that point.



This ship and its cargo were bound for the new-er world; To found a colony for her majesty Princess Celestia and bring riches to the newly christened Equestrian Empire.



In the year our lord 1493, after months at sea, the caravel had made landfall in the new-er world. Founding the settlement of Derby on the outskirts of a Lakota village. By this point in time humans had surprisingly little reaction to being greeted by talking ponies.

None of this really made any sense to the troubled little horse aboard the ship. It felt off to them both in terms of geography and period.

None of that really mattered though. The regional governor of Derby knew that
Spoiler :
if you leave a native village alone in colonization and don't get the right founding fathers than they will inevitably zerg rush you since they only work food tiles and turn 100% of their pop into soldiers

it would be impossible to either integrate or live peacefully beside the village in the long term.



With the natives having been forcibly cleared from the island, Equestrian settlers were free to form the settlement of New Manehattan. Seeing that the colony at least appeared to be slightly profitable Princess Celestia levied a small tax on all transactions taken in and by the colonial possessions of Equestria. Although there were a fickle few distant voices who called for destroyed large amounts of stored goods in defiance of these new, albeit slight taxes, most in the colonies knew it was for the best of the motherland.



As the years waned all seemed quiet. It appeared as though the Equestrian colonies were beginning to stagnate, seemingly trapped on a small island.
 
The Spanish Connection


Link to video.

Aboard a small fleet of galleons off the coast of New Spain a small army of little horses prepared. When the viceroy of New Equestria realized that the colony had effectively been cut off from further peaceful expansion she could see only one way forward. Using the riches that the colonies had gained from the new world New Equestria bought a relatively large armament from the motherland in preparation for a more aggressive expansion.



The Spanish were unprepared for such an attack. The general Spanish defense consisted of little more than a few cannon garrisons. Ultimately the Spaniards suffered fairly low casualties mainly due to the fact that they had so few active military units.



Ultimately the Spanish colonies agreed to peace after losing control over most of New Spain. This peace would ultimately be fairly short lived. Being broken a few years later, pushing the New Spain back further south and further west.



Following the war, Equestria's leadership had gotten into a disagreement with the viceroy over the issue of further expansion. The Viceroy wanted to send a group of experienced farmers to settle one of the uninhabited northern islands. However the group was being ordered to settle on a desert, despite the fact that said desert was completely surrounded by arable land.



Ultimately the group was forced to follow through with the viceroy's orders despite the clear objections from Equestrian leadership.



The colonies taxes were almost immediately raised.



As time continued to move forward the Equestrian colonies were just starting to seal their fate. They were only just starting down a far more aggressive path.
 
War of the Northern Islands


Link to video.

Aboard one of New Equestria's few Frigates a small horse pondered. Equestria had been at war with the Portuguese concerning control over the Northern islands.

The few uninhabited islands had been settled long ago by Portuguese and Equestrian settlers. The remaining islands were largely inhabited by the Cherokee tribes. Up until recently these tribes had been left alone by the outside world. Up until the Portuguese colonists arrived.

Equestrian forces were initially mildly successful in the war. Winning in a few skirmishes on the central island but not actually making any territorial progress. Seeing Equestria's growing aggression as distasteful, and having fairly good relations with Portugal, New England entered the war.

Spoiler :



Rather than attempt to defend their primary colony the English sent the bulk of their forces on a death march south towards Equestria's holdings on the continent. Equestria kept a small force within close proximity to monitor troop movement.



After forcing Portugal out of the war Equestria was able to focus the full brunt of its military power against the English in the north. On the northern end of the continent Equestrian forces had begun the invasion of New England. Occupying key settlements and generally disrupting English trade.



On the southern front the English general had proved to be especially competent and especially brutal. After razing two captured Equestrian cities there were open talks of a mutiny against the general. The general had the potential mutineers rounded up and sent to found a pointless city in the middle of the antarctic. In addition he canceled his entire battalion's second tea break. Leaving all men under his command with only one tea time. History would remember him for his actions but they would not be able to resolve which of his actions were the most heinous.

In the north Equestrian forces continued pushing back England.



It seemed that Equestria was truly on the warpath. Ready to make their stake in this new world.
 
The French Folly


Link to video.

Aboard a ship of the line an admiral patrolled the outer gulf of the continent. Piracy had long been an issue in the New World; one which had, for many decades, crippled trade in certain regions. This danger had grown to the point that it justified maintaining an, at least somewhat, small fleet of warships in a colonial navy. For the most part these warships were somewhat spread out. Manely attempting to keep their respective colony's shipping lanes clear from the foal efforts of the pirates. By the 18th century piracy had, for the most part, winded down. There was still the occasional engagement but they had become more of a rarity.

As the war with the English colonies died down and Equestria asserted its position in the Northern Continent, the crown dragged the Equestrian colonies into war with France.

Spoiler :



Equestrian warships patrolling for pirates were pulled back and tasked with destroying French shipping. By the wars end the Equestrian navy had claimed to have sunk dozens of enemy vessels.



Equestrian garrisons, still nearby from the recent taking of New England, began their march towards the French territory. They were able to take control over several outlying settlements. Overcoming wave after wave of unarmed colonists and cannon garrisons.

Spoiler :



With most of France's outlying territory secured the bulk of the Equestrian military moved towards Quebec and Montreal. Surrounding the two cities which had previously been important cargo ports for Equestria's Reeducation Program, seeing as France was the only colony to have granted open boarders to Equestria before the Equestrian conquest of New Spain.



The remainder of France's Northern possessions fell within the month. France sued for peace two months later, ceding any claim to the captured territory. Allowing Equestria to have control over both the Northern and Southern bits of the continent.
 
The Cherokee Conflict Or: How the Cherokee Learned to Stop Worrying and Sack Sao Vicente


Link to video.

Aboard a fishing boat a small horse looked forward to returning home after a long days work of fishing with no hands. Even since Equestria had taken the settlement of Sao Vicente in the Northern Islands many ponies had had to adjust to with living within an incredibly close proximity to an innumerable amount of natives.

For the most part Equestria had attempted to maintain cordial relations with the native, however the Cherokee were annoyed with the fact that Equestria had taken Portuguese land, which was originally Cherokee land. As if that wasn't bad enough Equestria's concept of nationhood was a bit too much for the natives to handle. So in Oconotota's mind Equestria had taken their land AND were threatening their way of life. Equestria's existence on his island could no longer stand.



The declaration didn't come as much of a surprise. Equestria's relations with native people had never been stellar. However, they had also never done anything specifically to the Cherokee.

Regardless thousands upon thousands of natives began to spill into Equestria's boarders. It was as if they had done absolutely nothing else but produce warriors with all of the food that they had gathered up until that point.

Absolutely.

Nothing.

Else.




Meanwhile in the conquered land of Montreal several guns, cigars, and rum were organizing resistance against their conquerors.



When news of the imminent Cherokee threat reached the rest of the colonies transports laden with firearms were dispatched to Sao Vicente. Unfortunately these ships were delayed due to sailing through the pacific ocean.

The populace was forced to abandon Sao Vicente to the oncoming Cherokee warriors and hide out in the nearby mountains. After several years the survivors had finally succumbed to the relentless Cherokee assault.



Records are unclear whether Equestrians forces fought to the last horse or were simply captured. What was clear is that Equestria, for all intents and purposes, lost the Cherokee Conflict.
 
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