Iroqi Communication Thread

that's great donsig, but could you work in this somewhere: "if you are unwilling to pay the tribute, then you will face certain destruction from our Immortals. we will have no mercy." just paraphrase this, as i think a threat is the way to go here.

Mentioning the Immortals would be good. Put some fear in their hearts.

Sorry guys, I sent that message off after writing it. BTW, have you all looked at the pre-turn discussion thread? There are four Iroqi mounted warriors in the eastern jungle. I could use some help in planning the upcoming turn's moves. I'll be playing the turn in a few hours.

To: Nobotti Nobodaroney, Foreign Affairs Consul of Team Doughnut

Dear Sir,

This is a formal notice that the Sarbadar are a tribute paying client of Iron and are therefore entitled to the full protection of the Ironic people. If the Four Legged Beast Riding Iroqi Warriors enter the Sarbadar village they will be placing their heads on the gallows.

You have been warned. Point your infernal four legged beasts southward and leave the Sacred Jungle forever.

donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic People and Defender of the Sarbadar

Dear Adversary,

The Iroqi sacking of the Sarbadar village impels us to ask for 25 gold in reparations in addition to the tribute listed in our latest peace offer.

Also, those Iroqi units responsible for the Sarbadar atrocities must be disbanded.

We await your reply.

donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic People

General Robi D,

I am pleased to note that while you derided my new title you did not dispute it. That is a step in the right direction though the tone of your message is improper.

Do not trouble yourselves with how we train our troops. At least they die facing their enemy.

You scoff but do not realize that we have not yet applied the full force of our empire to our little skirmish. Have you not noticed the great wonder we erected in Semtex? We now stand at a crossroads. One path leads to peace and the other to continued war. The path we end up taking is entirely up to the Iroqi people. Come to terms with us now or prepare to fight to the death. Be warned that if this war continues we will no longer pursue it half heartedly.

signed
donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic and Iroqi Peoples

The Iroqi leader's reply:

Robi D said:

Grand Vizeer donsig,

I didn't not dispute your title, because to do so would give it more credit than it actually has. You can call yourself Grand Vizeer of the entire planet Meleet if you wish, just remember words and title alone don't change the reality, only actions can do that and yours have been lacking to say the least.

As for our troops not dying facing their enemy as you put it, well i'd rather my troops live and fight another day, then die. You see i've found once a soldier dies their capacity to fight diminishes fairly rapidly.

And while you might not have applied the full force of your empire in this current battle, neither have we. We have plenty of troops in reserve, waiting patiently for their turn to take some of your troops out, although the way this battles going they will have to wait a little longer.

Finally you mention peace, but don't list any terms so i'll assume you stand by your last "offer" in which case we are not interested in the slightest. If you are interested in persuing equitable terms than we will consider your offer.

signed

General Robi D, Doughnutia

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May sound a bit stupid but just why are we at war? what were we originally planning on gaining and how far are we away from achieving that?

BCLG100 said:

May sound a bit stupid but just why are we at war? what were we originally planning on gaining and how far are we away from achieving that?

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Centuries ago our great warrior Xerxes found the Iroqi people as he explored the south. Xerxes rescued a band of Iroqi women from the harsh toil they were forced to do in the Iroqi mines. Right after that the Iroqi massacred their town of Cruller. We have been at war ever since. Our original aim was to stifle the Iroqi and gain supremecy. That changed to trying to wipe them out. It may soon change to trying to keep them from wiping us out!

I think we've managed to stunt their growth but unfortunately have done the same to ourselves. Both KISS and MIA are beyond us in score and power.

I posted a while back (can't remember where) that a more reasonable war goal was securing the jungle (and the gems and silks there-in) and the incense south of the jungle. We have no clue about the current status of the silks in the west. We have a settler moving down south and another will be ready shortly. If we can secure a peace treaty soon we can grab both the gems and incense and make a dash for the silks.

I do not think we can wipe out the Iroqi.

Greetings General Robi D!

Perhaps you should learn what Vizeer means before you mock the term. I am quite perplexed by your remarks about troops living to fight another day. Is not the whole purpose of troops and war to kill and be killed? Running from battle kinda spoils the whole thing, don't you think? You do have a point though about death diminishing a soldier's capacity to fight. Never thought about it that way before. Perhaps, just perhaps, it would do my people some good to learn more of this Iroqi philosophy of yours.

So, neither of us has put our all into the war. We fight with a sword or spear in one hand while the other tends a plow. Meanwhile the Greeks and Galls grow more powerful than either of us. I said long ago that in this world we are on the same side. That has not changed though soon the other side may be upon us. We would do well to contemplate this and consider ending this frivolous war.

Yes, once again I wrote to you of peace. I listed no terms in the hope you would reply with some. We are willing to return to you the Iroqi women still among us. We are willing to place currency on the table in return for one of your fine technologies. Beyond that it is true, our conditions for peace have not changed. We ask for your respect. You can show this by accepting my use of the title Grand Vizeer of the Ironic and Iroqi Peoples. We ask for a token tribute of 1 gold piece per turn. We must still ask for 25 gold as payment for the Sabadar village destroyed in the Sacred Jungle. We leave it up to you to decide what fine technology to include in the peace treaty. I am confident that if you and your people ponder this deal in its entirety without focusing on the individual parts it will be seen as equitable.

In an effort to avoid the we encountered in previous peace talks, I would like to address the subject of the length of the proposed treaty. As with our ongoing requests, we must continue to insist that any peace treaty last only twenty turns and be renegotiated. We cannot guarantee a perpetual peace unless we periodically meet and discuss the issues that are bound to arise between our peoples from time to time. By signing treaties that will one day expire we force ourselves to work together to avoid the kind of war we are now stuck with.

Think it over. To coin a phrase, let us bury the hatchet and smoke a pipe of peace.

signed
donsig

Grand Vizeer of the Ironic and Iroqi Peoples

SInce this is a major proposal I have not yet sent it. Please post feedback.

lurker's comment: Burying the war-axe ?

Rik Meleet said:

lurker's comment: Burying the war-axe ?

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*Bury the hatchet* is the way I always heard it. I thought it was derived from an old (American) Indian saying to mean make peace - therefore very appropriate to my message. But, yes, hatchet and war-axe are the same thing.

I'm sending off my message to General Robi D and Nobody.

Excellent message donsig! Even though we are asking for peace in the message, she shrouded that, and made it look like we are still better than them. I hope they accept this treaty. Our forces are weak and we need to catch up to the Green Teams. Hopefully in 20 turns, our millitary power and score will be up, and we will be able to conquer the Iroqi, once and for all!

That was a very well written message, made us sound good

Spearman (a 4/4 vet) sallied forth from Provobomb and attacked the un-named Iroqi warrior (2/4 vet). Of course the wariior lost on y one hp and was promoted while our spearman died.

General Robi D,

The Iroqi forces have had extremely good fortune on the battlefield whether they attack or defend. I have send a fornal (in game) offer of peace which includes currency and the Iroqi women. Are your people still debating peace? Is there any indication of interest in learning currency from my people? If so, has there been any discussion as to what your people might teach ours in return?

Oh, BTW, in my native language Vizeer means one who brings together. It has a common root with the word Vizier (a word you seem to know) but they are not the same.

signed
donsig
Grand Vizeer of the Ironic and Iroqi Peoples

The latest from the Iroqi:

Robi D said:

Grand Vizeer donsig,

It would seem most of the team are still in holiday mode therefore the discussion of your proposal has gone slower than expected. We are in the process of drafting our responce so you will here from us soon. Again apologies for the delay

General Robi D

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Finally, a reply from General Robi D. Interesting terms they offer. Something very similar to the Strider Doctrine. I will write up a proposed response later today. In the mean time if any one has any suggestions, please post them.

Robi D said:

Grand Vizeer Donsig,

I am writing to you in response to your peoples offer of peace sent to us three turns ago. After much discussion in the General Assembly the people of Doughnutia agreed to attempt to reach a peace settlement with your people.
We have also considered your terms of peace however we did not find them acceptable and therefore issue the following terms for a peace settlement.

Firstly we accept your offer to return our worker you took from us.

Secondly we except your offer of currency. In return we give you a choice, you can take either Literature or 25 gold + 1gpt for 20 turns, not both.

Thirdly we propose the establishment of Zones of Control (ZoC) where by all territory South of the jungle is under Doughnutian ZoC and all territory North of the Jungle is TNT ZoC. The jungle itself will remain neutral territory free for both Doughnut and TNT units to move through.

All units currently in opposing ZoC will be removed with immediate effect with any future incursions into each others ZoC would be equivalent to a deceleration of war.

We have no issue of only 20 turns of guaranteed peace however it is our hope and wish that this should last longer. If we could spend 50 odd turns in what you yourself describe a senseless war then surely we could achieve that and more in a sensible peace.

Finally i would like to say that if you look at this peace proposal you will find it is a fair one that offers both our nations safety and security for the future. You would also do well to remember that there is a storm gathering on the horizon as the two other nations grow evermore powerful while we weaken each other in battle.

General Robi D
Representative of Doughnutia

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Well, their terms appear fair, accept for the ZoCs. We should come back by saying we accept the terms, but want to put the Strider Doctrine into effect. Tell them if they don't accept the Strider Doctrine, our nations will remain at war.

Agreed, tell them that the ZoC is unacceptable. We have already expanded beyond the ZoC listed and into the jungle. The deal, as proposed, will be impossible for us to appreciate.

Proposed reply to the Nuts. Please leave feedback.

Greetings General Robi D,

My people and I were quite glad to hear from you. We are pleased that you are willing to accept your women back. They are old and grumpy now and we wish to rid ourselves of them. We are happy that you are willing to accept currency from us. This is indeed a fine technology. As we already have a large collection of Ironic literature we must pass on your offer of Iroqi literature, though I am sure your books are thrilling, especially the rewrites. My people are considering your offer of 25 gold and 1 gold per turn.

The establishment of these zones of control as you call them is unacceptable. The Sacred Jungle is not neutral territory, it is sacred territory. As for the areas north and south of the Sacred Jungle we might consider an agreement that forbids offensive Ironic military units south of the Sacred Jungle and forbids offensive Iroqi military units north of the Sacred Jungle. Offensive military units are horsemen, mounted warriors, swordsmen and immortals. We see no reason to place restrictions on the exploration and mapping of those parts of our continent which do not fall within either of our borders.

We look forward to hearing your reply concerning the modified zones of control agreement. Until we hear from you about these we will table our discussion of the other terms you have suggested.

signed
donsig II
Grand Vizeer If the Ironic and Iroqi Peoples