[BTS] Ad Infinitum: The Rise of Peter - Page 2

brandon.herren · Jan 09, 2012, 06:12 PM

The reason, was because he was too lazy to build the improvement

MaxWar · Jan 09, 2012, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brandon.herren

The reason, was because he was too lazy to build the improvement

Or a possible side effect of microcephaly?

mbkkbm · Jan 15, 2012, 02:28 PM

subbed.

SamSniped · Jan 16, 2012, 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dumanios

Dumanios: To help you in your quests for world domination, I have selected a suitable adviser.
Gorbachev: Fine, bring him in, what's the worst that could happen.
[Doors open]
Peter: Oh God.
Gorbachev: You've got to be kidding me.
Elder: Who's he?
Warriors: Who that guy?
???: Are you guys ready for some CRUSADES!?
Peter, Gorbachev, and the Elder: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lenin: We should attack Frederick!
Peter: He's not on this map.
Lenin: Then we'll take the crusades to Greece and that wimp, Alexander!
Gorbachev: Greece doesn't exist.
Lenin:

What about that salad-eater, Caesar!
Peter: Actually, he does exist on this map.
Lenin: Yippee, now we kill him, right?

I cracked up laughing when I read this.

Dumanios · Jan 17, 2012, 02:08 PM

Lenin: Now we attack France!
Peter: You mean Celtia.
Lenin: Sh-shut up.

???: I am Marpesia, Queen of the Amazons. The Gods are on our side in our quest for vengeance. Are you?
Peter:

Well, you look like a nice one.
Marpesia:

<----Peter.
Lenin:

Gorbachev:

Peter: OH GOD, I'M HAVING BAD MEMORIES OF CATHERINE, SOMEONE HELP ME!
???: You called?
Peter:
link to video.

Catherine: Anyway, we'll have peace.
Marpesia: Good, I'm out of ammo, anyway.
Lenin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Catherine: What are you doing here?
Gorbachev: It's like a family reunion!
Catherine: [glares]
Gorbachev:

Elder: Brennus has a stack with an archer, a warrior, and a settler! Um, where's King Peter?
[Marpesia runs away]
Catherine: What.
Lenin and Gorbachev: He went to take a vacation.
Elder: Anyway, due to the laws of kingdom, if Peter is unable to attend, the other leaders are all the leaders. I wasn't expecting a fourth leader, though.
Horseman Captain: We'll have a vote. Who votes to attack Brennus?

Catherine and Lenin voted yes, Gorbachev votes no.

Horseman Captain: For the glory of the council!
[Horseman leaves, Brennus arrives]

Brennus: What am I doin' here?
Lenin: The Crusades are coming to you!
Catherine and Brennus:

1 Horseman and 6 Chariots vs. 2 Archers and 2 Workers. Next turn a Work Boat reinforces Bibracte.

Horseman Captain: Take 'em!

After Bibracte was taken, Brennus was found dead, but not by his own hand, nor by Russian forces. The dealer of the kill sat upon a throne. The throne had diamonds upon it. The throne had rubies upon it. The throne had pearls upon it. The throne menaced with spikes of platinum.

All of the Russians:

Victoria:

you peasants think that intimidates me? You'll be next!
[Victoria and her flying throne leave]
Catherine: I'm outta here.
[Catherine leaves in the opposite direction]
???: You two. I am Boadica.
Lenin: Hi!
Boadica: That demon killed my husband. For that, she must die.
Lenin: As soon as we can, we'll destroy her.
Elder: We need more strength to exorcise her from this realm!

Horseman Captain: I know where to go!

MaxWar · Jan 17, 2012, 03:51 PM

Oh no it's evil Victoria!
*throws holy water*

danjuno · Jan 18, 2012, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxWar

Oh no it's evil Victoria!
*throws holy water*

*Does the same.*

mbkkbm · Jan 18, 2012, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danjuno

*Does the same.*

*laughs as the holy water fails, then begins to run; yelling "FIRE"!*

MaxWar · Jan 18, 2012, 06:49 PM

Aaarghh!! It must be regular water!! Mansa ripped us off!!

Jwitti · Jan 18, 2012, 07:38 PM

Pshhh Holy water is awesome, although it won't make bad things melt it does have some neat properties.
Mansa Musa probably didn't believe in holy water, it's not a Muslim doctrine iirc

EDIT haha I just reread what I typed and said, "I will ruthlessly point out the tiny historical inaccuracies in all things-- ALL THINGS!!!!!"

Dumanios · Jan 19, 2012, 06:13 PM

Lenin: When do we invade Caesar?
Boadica: It'll be more difficult, since that man in a dress has multiple cities.
Gorbachev: It saddens me that war is the only solution to this problem.
Elder: Guess what?
Lenin: You have something to make our soldiers better?
Elder: We discovered a metal that could be used to make weapons of war near Moscow!
Lenin: Excellent!
Celtic Elder: Aye, n' we found some a this metal near Bibracte, as well!

Elder: A group of settlers have left Moscow and are heading south!

Lenin: My armies say they find men armed with axes!
Gorbachev: The Romans have axemen?! What else have they got?

Army: Charge!

Lenin:

Take that, girly man!
Horseman Captain: Sir, we found a man claiming to be Julius Caesar!
"Julius Caesar": I am not Julius Caesar! I am theCaesar!
Lenin: What's the difference?
???: WAIT!
Lenin and Gorbachev: Hey, the king's back!
Peter:

Boadica:

Peter:

Boadicea:

Peter:

theCaesar: What?
Peter: Let him live, I did some research, and he leads the resistance against the new emperor.
Lenin and Gorbachev:

Who?
Peter: They call him ... Caligula. Anyway, the Romans are persecuting geeks to the southeast, we must help the poor geeks!
Gorbachev: They're called Greeks, not geeks.
Peter: We still must help them!

???: Thank you for aiding us in our quest for freedom from Caligula.
Peter: You welcome, leader of the geeks!
???:

I AM CHRISTOS, LEADER OF THE GREEKS, NOT THE GEEKS!
Peter: Oh.
Messenger: Milord, we found the Romans sending one group of elite soldiers to Spalatum!

Lenin: Evacuate the armies!

Peter: Send a bunch of Greek peasants to delay them!
Boadica:

WEREN'T YOU JUST ALL ABOUT SAVING THEM?!

MoreEpicThanYou · Jan 19, 2012, 06:32 PM

Maybe I should be more nationalist, it would get me in more stories...

The Epic Empire is the best! The Epic Empire Rules All! The Epic Empire Is More Epic Than You!

Anyway, great update.

brandon.herren · Jan 19, 2012, 10:08 PM

The Praetorians of DOOM!!!! Oh well, Lenin will find a way! Great Update

MaxWar · Jan 19, 2012, 10:26 PM

Today's program feature:
The Epic combat of destiny!
The Demonic cow queen from the north is challenged by a group of Psychos with AKs,
All the while a bunch of Praetorian of Doom are abusing some unsuspecting workers who were caught scheming a putsch on the Roman Empire.
All of this taking place in the picturesque landscape of 650 BC Europe.
Who will come out on top?
We will know in the NEXT episode!!
DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!

Jwitti · Jan 20, 2012, 10:07 AM

The Celts are dead, MaxWar.

MaxWar · Jan 20, 2012, 10:18 AM

<Psychos with AKs> Who told you we were Celts!?!

Jwitti · Jan 20, 2012, 05:17 PM

Um... DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN
It's like Bruce Wayne humming na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BATMAN!

Dumanios · Jan 27, 2012, 04:23 PM

Greek Peasant: Wow, that was intense.
Greek Peasant 2: Yeah, good thing we lived.
Peter:

WHAT, YOU PEASANTS LIVED?!

Greek Peasants: Yep!

Lenin:

Kill the Legion!

???: Help! There are Romans near Moscow!

Peter:

What?! Medvedev, how did this happen?
Medvedev: Even worse, Moscow's defenseless!
Peter, Lenin, Gorbachev, theCaesar, Christos, and Boadica:

WHAT?!
Geronimo: Oops.
Lenin: Hi great general, why are there no defenders in Moscow?
Geronimo: Oops.

Geronimo: By the way, my army is at Rome.
Lenin:

Caligula: Ha, you'll never win! My most trusted senator is a better general!
Incititus: Nay!
[Incititus trots off, with Caligula following]
Lenin:

We'll show him! ATTAAACK!

Caligula: WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE! I AM HEIR TO THE GODS!

theCaesar: I have returned!
Caligula: At least you'll defend your country? Right?
theCaesar:

Caligula: Et tu? Then fall, Caligula.
[Caligula dies]
Christos:

The Army:

<- Rome.
???: Greetings, mighty warrior. I am Hamilcar Barca.
Lenin: I am Vladimir Lenin.
Peter: I am Peter, King of the Russian Empire.
Hamilcar: I am the King of the Carthaginians. Do not disturb me, and I shall not disturb you.
Peter: Eh-
Medvedev: Let there be peace in our time!
Hamilcar: The Heavens have truly blessed this meeting, Peter.
[Hamilcar leaves]

MaxWar · Jan 27, 2012, 04:43 PM

WHAT!! those Preats spared you workers?? That is... moving...
Who ever said games did not have feelings?

Jwitti · Jan 27, 2012, 04:45 PM

Isaac Asimov I think.

Jan 09, 2012, 06:12 PM	#21
brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:) Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 783	The reason, was because he was too lazy to build the improvement __________________ My Finished Stories/Ongoing Stories The Russians are coming... To Earth 18 Civs! Me getting killed in a Deity Game and Epicness Poll The Incredible Tale of Update Hell!

Jan 15, 2012, 02:28 PM	#23
mbkkbm Silly American Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: On my computer Posts: 471 Images: 4	subbed. __________________ Aveo Roma!http://forums.civfanatics.com/showth...4#post10871914 Let's Go....Dutch?!?!http://forums.civfanatics.com/showth...8#post11182448 The Battle Cry of Freedom(A Civil War Story) http://forums.civfanatics.com/showth...3#post11222703

Jan 17, 2012, 02:08 PM	#25
Dumanios It's Pronounced Sah-TEEN Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Bad-Anon Posts: 4,191	Chapter 4: Another one bites the dust. Lenin: Now we attack France! Peter: You mean Celtia. Lenin: Sh-shut up. ???: I am Marpesia, Queen of the Amazons. The Gods are on our side in our quest for vengeance. Are you? Peter: Well, you look like a nice one. Marpesia: <----Peter. Lenin: Gorbachev: Peter: OH GOD, I'M HAVING BAD MEMORIES OF CATHERINE, SOMEONE HELP ME! ???: You called? Peter: link to video. Catherine: Anyway, we'll have peace. Marpesia: Good, I'm out of ammo, anyway. Lenin: *NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* Catherine: What are you doing here? Gorbachev: It's like a family reunion! Catherine: [glares] Gorbachev: Elder: Brennus has a stack with an archer, a warrior, and a settler! Um, where's King Peter? [Marpesia runs away] Catherine: What. Lenin and Gorbachev: He went to take a vacation. Elder: Anyway, due to the laws of kingdom, if Peter is unable to attend, the other leaders are all the leaders. I wasn't expecting a fourth leader, though. Horseman Captain: We'll have a vote. Who votes to attack Brennus? Catherine and Lenin voted yes, Gorbachev votes no. Horseman Captain: For the glory of the council! [Horseman leaves, Brennus arrives] Brennus: What am I doin' here? Lenin: The Crusades are coming to you! Catherine and Brennus: 1 Horseman and 6 Chariots vs. 2 Archers and 2 Workers. Next turn a Work Boat reinforces Bibracte. Horseman Captain: Take 'em! After Bibracte was taken, Brennus was found dead, but not by his own hand, nor by Russian forces. The dealer of the kill sat upon a throne. The throne had diamonds upon it. The throne had rubies upon it. The throne had pearls upon it. The throne menaced with spikes of platinum. All of the Russians: Victoria: you peasants think that intimidates me? You'll be next! [Victoria and her flying throne leave] Catherine: I'm outta here. [Catherine leaves in the opposite direction] ???: You two. I am Boadica. Lenin: Hi! Boadica: That demon killed my husband. For that, she must die. Lenin: As soon as we can, we'll destroy her. Elder: We need more strength to exorcise her from this realm! Horseman Captain: I know where to go! __________________ My Civ4 Mods. I'm totally quoting this out of context and putting it in my signature. - Choxorn

Jan 17, 2012, 03:51 PM	#26
MaxWar King Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: In America's hat. Posts: 823	Oh no it's evil Victoria! throws holy water __________________ Civ4 S&T needs you! Join now! My stories: (Life is better with Exclamation Marks!) Babylonian Idol! Welcome to RandomLand! Won 2011 CIV4 S&T award for best comedy! Kim Jong-il, Supreme and Eternal leader of North Korea! In earth18civs...

Jan 18, 2012, 06:49 PM	#29
MaxWar King Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: In America's hat. Posts: 823	Aaarghh!! It must be regular water!! Mansa ripped us off!! __________________ Civ4 S&T needs you! Join now! My stories: (Life is better with Exclamation Marks!) Babylonian Idol! Welcome to RandomLand! Won 2011 CIV4 S&T award for best comedy! Kim Jong-il, Supreme and Eternal leader of North Korea! In earth18civs...

Jan 18, 2012, 07:38 PM	#30
Jwitti Mystery is my middle name Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Area 52 Posts: 1,736	Pshhh Holy water is awesome, although it won't make bad things melt it does have some neat properties. Mansa Musa probably didn't believe in holy water, it's not a Muslim doctrine iirc EDIT haha I just reread what I typed and said, "I will ruthlessly point out the tiny historical inaccuracies in all things-- ALL THINGS!!!!!" __________________ -How'd you know that? -Can you keep a secret? -Yes? -So can I. My dream mod is RI + RFC-DOC + GEM Realism Invictus + RFC Dawn of Civilization + Giant Earth Map... if only if only

Jan 19, 2012, 06:13 PM	#31
Dumanios It's Pronounced Sah-TEEN Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Bad-Anon Posts: 4,191	Chapter 5: The Return of the King Lenin: When do we invade Caesar? Boadica: It'll be more difficult, since that man in a dress has multiple cities. Gorbachev: It saddens me that war is the only solution to this problem. Elder: Guess what? Lenin: You have something to make our soldiers better? Elder: We discovered a metal that could be used to make weapons of war near Moscow! Lenin: Excellent! Celtic Elder: Aye, n' we found some a this metal near Bibracte, as well! Elder: A group of settlers have left Moscow and are heading south! Lenin: My armies say they find men armed with axes! Gorbachev: The Romans have axemen?! What else have they got? Army: Charge! Lenin: Take that, girly man! Horseman Captain: Sir, we found a man claiming to be Julius Caesar! "Julius Caesar": I am not Julius Caesar! I am theCaesar! Lenin: What's the difference? ???: WAIT! Lenin and Gorbachev: Hey, the king's back! Peter: Boadica: Peter: Boadicea: Peter: theCaesar: What? Peter: Let him live, I did some research, and he leads the resistance against the new emperor. Lenin and Gorbachev: Who? Peter: They call him ... Caligula. Anyway, the Romans are persecuting geeks to the southeast, we must help the poor geeks! Gorbachev: They're called Greeks, not geeks. Peter: We still must help them! ???: Thank you for aiding us in our quest for freedom from Caligula. Peter: You welcome, leader of the geeks! ???: I AM CHRISTOS, LEADER OF THE GREEKS, NOT THE GEEKS! Peter: Oh. Messenger: Milord, we found the Romans sending one group of elite soldiers to Spalatum! Lenin: Evacuate the armies! Peter: Send a bunch of Greek peasants to delay them! Boadica: WEREN'T YOU JUST ALL ABOUT SAVING THEM?! __________________ My Civ4 Mods. I'm totally quoting this out of context and putting it in my signature. - Choxorn

Jan 19, 2012, 06:32 PM	#32
MoreEpicThanYou The most Epic. Join Date: May 2011 Location: Not Canada :P Posts: 1,905	Maybe I should be more nationalist, it would get me in more stories... The Epic Empire is the best! The Epic Empire Rules All! The Epic Empire Is More Epic Than You! Anyway, great update. __________________ "And Goth said "Let there be light." And the light totally sucked." Read Rome: Eternal Empire, the 3rd most viewed Civ IV story of all time!

Jan 19, 2012, 10:08 PM	#33
brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:) Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 783	The Praetorians of DOOM!!!! Oh well, Lenin will find a way! Great Update __________________ My Finished Stories/Ongoing Stories The Russians are coming... To Earth 18 Civs! Me getting killed in a Deity Game and Epicness Poll The Incredible Tale of Update Hell!

Jan 19, 2012, 10:26 PM	#34
MaxWar King Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: In America's hat. Posts: 823	Today's program feature: The Epic combat of destiny! The Demonic cow queen from the north is challenged by a group of Psychos with AKs, All the while a bunch of Praetorian of Doom are abusing some unsuspecting workers who were caught scheming a putsch on the Roman Empire. All of this taking place in the picturesque landscape of 650 BC Europe. Who will come out on top? We will know in the NEXT episode!! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!! __________________ Civ4 S&T needs you! Join now! My stories: (Life is better with Exclamation Marks!) Babylonian Idol! Welcome to RandomLand! Won 2011 CIV4 S&T award for best comedy! Kim Jong-il, Supreme and Eternal leader of North Korea! In earth18civs...

Jan 20, 2012, 10:07 AM	#35
Jwitti Mystery is my middle name Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Area 52 Posts: 1,736	The Celts are dead, MaxWar. __________________ -How'd you know that? -Can you keep a secret? -Yes? -So can I. My dream mod is RI + RFC-DOC + GEM Realism Invictus + RFC Dawn of Civilization + Giant Earth Map... if only if only

Jan 20, 2012, 10:18 AM	#36
MaxWar King Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: In America's hat. Posts: 823	<Psychos with AKs> Who told you we were Celts!?! __________________ Civ4 S&T needs you! Join now! My stories: (Life is better with Exclamation Marks!) Babylonian Idol! Welcome to RandomLand! Won 2011 CIV4 S&T award for best comedy! Kim Jong-il, Supreme and Eternal leader of North Korea! In earth18civs...

Jan 20, 2012, 05:17 PM	#37
Jwitti Mystery is my middle name Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Area 52 Posts: 1,736	Um... DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN It's like Bruce Wayne humming na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-BATMAN! __________________ -How'd you know that? -Can you keep a secret? -Yes? -So can I. My dream mod is RI + RFC-DOC + GEM Realism Invictus + RFC Dawn of Civilization + Giant Earth Map... if only if only

Jan 27, 2012, 04:23 PM	#38
Dumanios It's Pronounced Sah-TEEN Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Bad-Anon Posts: 4,191	Chapter 6: Caligula dies. Greek Peasant: Wow, that was intense. Greek Peasant 2: Yeah, good thing we lived. Peter: WHAT, YOU PEASANTS LIVED?! Greek Peasants: Yep! Lenin: Kill the Legion! ???: Help! There are Romans near Moscow! Peter: What?! Medvedev, how did this happen? Medvedev: Even worse, Moscow's defenseless! Peter, Lenin, Gorbachev, theCaesar, Christos, and Boadica: WHAT?! Geronimo: Oops. Lenin: Hi great general, why are there no defenders in Moscow? Geronimo: Oops. Geronimo: By the way, my army is at Rome. Lenin: Caligula: Ha, you'll never win! My most trusted senator is a better general! Incititus: Nay! [Incititus trots off, with Caligula following] Lenin: We'll show him! ATTAAACK! Caligula: WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE! I AM HEIR TO THE GODS! theCaesar: I have returned! Caligula: At least you'll defend your country? Right? theCaesar: Caligula: Et tu? Then fall, Caligula. [Caligula dies] Christos: The Army: <- Rome. ???: Greetings, mighty warrior. I am Hamilcar Barca. Lenin: I am Vladimir Lenin. Peter: I am Peter, King of the Russian Empire. Hamilcar: I am the King of the Carthaginians. Do not disturb me, and I shall not disturb you. Peter: Eh- Medvedev: Let there be peace in our time! Hamilcar: The Heavens have truly blessed this meeting, Peter. [Hamilcar leaves] __________________ My Civ4 Mods. I'm totally quoting this out of context and putting it in my signature. - Choxorn

Jan 27, 2012, 04:43 PM	#39
MaxWar King Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: In America's hat. Posts: 823	WHAT!! those Preats spared you workers?? That is... moving... Who ever said games did not have feelings? __________________ Civ4 S&T needs you! Join now! My stories: (Life is better with Exclamation Marks!) Babylonian Idol! Welcome to RandomLand! Won 2011 CIV4 S&T award for best comedy! Kim Jong-il, Supreme and Eternal leader of North Korea! In earth18civs...

Jan 27, 2012, 04:45 PM	#40
Jwitti Mystery is my middle name Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Area 52 Posts: 1,736	Isaac Asimov I think. __________________ -How'd you know that? -Can you keep a secret? -Yes? -So can I. My dream mod is RI + RFC-DOC + GEM Realism Invictus + RFC Dawn of Civilization + Giant Earth Map... if only if only

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