The lamest jokes you can think of....... II - Page 12

Lord Baal · Jul 06, 2012, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by madviking

You might not be old enough to understand the joke.

It's likely it's your delivery he had a problem with.

madviking · Jul 06, 2012, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Baal

It's likely it's your delivery he had a problem with.

I thought it was fine. Any more specific and it loses its humor.

cardgame · Jul 07, 2012, 01:05 AM

Yeah, overly obvious jokes are annoying.

Arakhor · Jul 07, 2012, 05:31 AM

If your chair is haunted, is that an upholsterygheist?

NickyJ · Jul 08, 2012, 08:44 PM

While I was carpooling to work this morning, I saw a snail driving on the a car with a giant 'S' painted on the doors and trunk. He must have been going over 100 miles an hour. When he flew past me, one of the people riding with me said "Look at that ‘S’ car go!"

shadowplay · Jul 19, 2012, 11:39 PM

"Recently, the President and Michelle Obama were caught off-guard by the kiss-cam at a basketball game. Meanwhile, Mitt Romney was caught off-guard by the "show us your tax return" cam. -Conan

Jouzou · Jul 25, 2012, 02:59 PM

Ending spoilers for The Dark Knight Rises

Spoiler:

shadowplay · Jul 28, 2012, 11:05 PM

A recent study shows that smoking marijuana can help eliminate diarrhea. The finding was called significant by doctors, and a win-win by Taco Bell.
-Conan

Arakhor · Jul 29, 2012, 04:02 AM

I don't get that at all. Is it something to do with Taco Bell's presumed clientèle?

west india man · Jul 29, 2012, 04:12 AM

Taco Bell is thought to significantly loosen people's bowels.

shadowplay · Jul 29, 2012, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arakhor

I don't get that at all. Is it something to do with Taco Bell's presumed clientèle?

Stoners like Taco Bell, Taco Bell (allegedly) results in diarrhea. That's the 'win-win'.

stfoskey12 · Aug 03, 2012, 10:13 AM

Nerd jokes:
Wanna hear a joke about potassium?
K
Wanna hear a joke about sodium?
Na
Wanna here a joke about oxygen?
Yes
O
What did one part of the cell say to the other during telophase?
I'm breaking up with you.

There was this horse that was really smart because he could do calculus and knew all about quantum mechanics. However, no matter how much he was taught, he could never understand Cartesian coordinates. The person teaching the horse asked a mathematician what he was doing wrong, and the mathematician said, "You can't put Descartes before the horse".

shadowplay · Aug 07, 2012, 10:00 PM

Last night ... Nasa broadcast live footage of their Rover making it's dramatic landing on Mars. Then 8 hours later, NBC showed it.
-Conan

da dick · Aug 09, 2012, 08:11 PM

so... there were like.. these buncha guys... who ate babies... THE ARISTOCRATS!!!!

NinjaCow64 · Aug 10, 2012, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by da dick

so... there were like.. these buncha guys... who ate babies... THE ARISTOCRATS!!!!

...

...but...it isn't even a joke...why...

Mise · Aug 10, 2012, 02:25 AM

It's a super-lame version of the Aristocrats joke.

rugbyLEAGUEfan · Aug 10, 2012, 03:48 AM

I was horrified to hear that that American actress was murdered today. The chick from Legally Blond. What's her name again? Reese something?

Arakhor · Aug 10, 2012, 04:16 AM

Reese Witherspoon? I'm not seeing the slightest humour in your statement.

rugbyLEAGUEfan · Aug 10, 2012, 04:18 AM

No, with a knife

Arakhor · Aug 10, 2012, 04:27 AM

You're in the right thread, at least.

Jul 07, 2012, 01:05 AM	#223
cardgame Crush Kill Destroy Swag Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Ponyville Posts: 8,608 Images: 2	Yeah, overly obvious jokes are annoying. __________________ And when we're done, that final day, what will they know about you? What will they say?

Jul 07, 2012, 05:31 AM	#224
Arakhor Dremora Courtier Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: UK Posts: 9,492	If your chair is haunted, is that an upholsterygheist? __________________ Dum inter homines sumus, colamus humanitatem. ("As long as we are among humans, let us be humane.") ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "The church must be where there is need, and homosexuals have suffered innumerable discriminations. If the church doesn't free people from oppression, what purpose does it serve?" ~ Dr. Jacques Gaillot, Titular Bishop of Parthenia “What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?” ~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Jul 08, 2012, 08:44 PM	#225
NickyJ Narrator Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Twilight Zone Posts: 5,543	While I was carpooling to work this morning, I saw a snail driving on the a car with a giant 'S' painted on the doors and trunk. He must have been going over 100 miles an hour. When he flew past me, one of the people riding with me said "Look at that ‘S’ car go!" __________________ Witness an ordinary user on an ordinary forum posting with other ordinary users. At least, it may seem like an ordinary user to these other users. But what they don't realize is that this user registered to the site from the Twilight Zone.

Jul 19, 2012, 11:39 PM	#226
shadowplay your ad here Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Blue Jay Way Posts: 2,660	"Recently, the President and Michelle Obama were caught off-guard by the kiss-cam at a basketball game. Meanwhile, Mitt Romney was caught off-guard by the "show us your tax return" cam. -Conan __________________ ..I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad... Last edited by shadowplay; Jul 20, 2012 at 12:35 AM.

Jul 25, 2012, 02:59 PM	#227
Jouzou Warlord Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Beneath the North Star Posts: 212	Ending spoilers for The Dark Knight Rises Spoiler: When Batman hauls the bomb over the bay, everyone thinks he's on board of The Bat. However, it is revealed that the auto-pilot was working just fine and he's still alive. This means that when no one was looking, he had to Bale out. __________________ Spare the whip and spoil the citizens.

Jul 28, 2012, 11:05 PM	#228
shadowplay your ad here Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Blue Jay Way Posts: 2,660	A recent study shows that smoking marijuana can help eliminate diarrhea. The finding was called significant by doctors, and a win-win by Taco Bell. -Conan __________________ ..I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad...

Jul 29, 2012, 04:02 AM	#229
Arakhor Dremora Courtier Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: UK Posts: 9,492	I don't get that at all. Is it something to do with Taco Bell's presumed clientèle? __________________ Dum inter homines sumus, colamus humanitatem. ("As long as we are among humans, let us be humane.") ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "The church must be where there is need, and homosexuals have suffered innumerable discriminations. If the church doesn't free people from oppression, what purpose does it serve?" ~ Dr. Jacques Gaillot, Titular Bishop of Parthenia “What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?” ~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Jul 29, 2012, 04:12 AM	#230
west india man Immortal Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Brazil Posts: 5,701	Taco Bell is thought to significantly loosen people's bowels. __________________ Sonereal: Everytime I type in pokemon, it finishes with "slash fiction"

Aug 03, 2012, 10:13 AM	#232
stfoskey12 Prince Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: 35° 56' N 79° 02' W Posts: 465	Nerd jokes: Wanna hear a joke about potassium? K Wanna hear a joke about sodium? Na Wanna here a joke about oxygen? Yes O What did one part of the cell say to the other during telophase? I'm breaking up with you. There was this horse that was really smart because he could do calculus and knew all about quantum mechanics. However, no matter how much he was taught, he could never understand Cartesian coordinates. The person teaching the horse asked a mathematician what he was doing wrong, and the mathematician said, "You can't put Descartes before the horse". __________________ Check out my Civ4 Earth Sometime AD scenario. http://forums.civfanatics.com/downlo...=file&id=20551. I can beat deity...with world builder.

Aug 07, 2012, 10:00 PM	#233
shadowplay your ad here Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Blue Jay Way Posts: 2,660	Last night ... Nasa broadcast live footage of their Rover making it's dramatic landing on Mars. Then 8 hours later, NBC showed it. -Conan __________________ ..I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad...

Aug 09, 2012, 08:11 PM	#234
da dick Warlord Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: sing city Posts: 155	so... there were like.. these buncha guys... who ate babies... THE ARISTOCRATS!!!!

Aug 10, 2012, 02:25 AM	#236
Mise isle of lucy Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: London, UK Posts: 25,059	It's a super-lame version of the Aristocrats joke. __________________ Come to fiftychat! It's where downtown hangs out!

Aug 10, 2012, 03:48 AM	#237
rugbyLEAGUEfan Deity Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: sydney australia Posts: 4,833	I was horrified to hear that that American actress was murdered today. The chick from Legally Blond. What's her name again? Reese something?

Aug 10, 2012, 04:16 AM	#238
Arakhor Dremora Courtier Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: UK Posts: 9,492	Reese Witherspoon? I'm not seeing the slightest humour in your statement. __________________ Dum inter homines sumus, colamus humanitatem. ("As long as we are among humans, let us be humane.") ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "The church must be where there is need, and homosexuals have suffered innumerable discriminations. If the church doesn't free people from oppression, what purpose does it serve?" ~ Dr. Jacques Gaillot, Titular Bishop of Parthenia “What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?” ~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Aug 10, 2012, 04:18 AM	#239
rugbyLEAGUEfan Deity Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: sydney australia Posts: 4,833	No, with a knife

Aug 10, 2012, 04:27 AM	#240
Arakhor Dremora Courtier Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: UK Posts: 9,492	You're in the right thread, at least. __________________ Dum inter homines sumus, colamus humanitatem. ("As long as we are among humans, let us be humane.") ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca "The church must be where there is need, and homosexuals have suffered innumerable discriminations. If the church doesn't free people from oppression, what purpose does it serve?" ~ Dr. Jacques Gaillot, Titular Bishop of Parthenia “What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?” ~ Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

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