Imperium OffTopicum XIV

The street all around Sylvie Glaisyer was filled with dirty, smelly, pushy Thais. What was worse, they were predominantly men. Luckily for her, thank goddess, Sylvie was accompanied on this crowded street by Cahaya Citra, the renowned Indonesian University history professor. Cahaya was enjoying this about as much as Sylvie, based upon the open disgust displayed upon her face. Hoping to divert her attention away from her surroundings, Sylvie sighed dramatically and then quipped, “I’m not so sure that the documentary on the Thai Patriarchy is worth enduring this!”

Cahaya gestured at their surroundings and sneered. “This is exactly what we came here to capture, though. The filth of the masses being dominated over by their male leaders who live in opulence while the poor starve.”

Nodding, Sylvie pointed to a nearby rundown building that looked like it hadn’t been repaired since the Fall. “Based on the number of mendogs leaving that building with a self-satisfied smile on their ugly faces, and the number of downtrodden women hanging out of those windows, I’d say that’s another brothel. Do we want to get footage of it?”

“No, we already have footage of the ten we saw yesterday. It’s not like we need more proof that the Patriarchy doesn’t have the respect for their women that even we give to our men. I mean, compare this to the Male Shelters! At least there we care for the unwanted and abandoned males with respect, and at least their genetic material is going somewhere useful after we castrate them. But here! These women are lucky to get fed, let alone contribute in any meaningful way to their society.”

“Yes, it’s very depressing. I wish we could bring the Matriarchy to the entire rest of the world.”

Cahaya chuckled. “Sister, Indonesia was just one of the latest in the inevitable rise of the Matriarchy. And besides, if the Thais really go through with their threats to invade Indonesia I’m sure France will crush the arrogant mendogs and install a proper system of government in Thailand.”

That brought a smile to Sylvie’s face. “It’s nice to think that one day all women of the world will be free from the depredations of men.”

Her smile was broken, however, when Cahaya hissed with glee. “Sylvie! Get the camera rolling, one of the golden vans is coming!” Sylvie quickly put on an almost predatory expression, and brought the camera out of her bag, turning it towards the golden van which was pushing through the crowded street towards them. They had been searching for one of the Emperor’s golden vans for weeks, hoping to catch one of the abductions on tape. The fact that the Patriarchy in Thailand took pretty women from off the streets to become Imperial Concubines was sure to shock their sisters back in Indonesia and France, not to mention win them a few film and journalism awards.

Zooming in with the camera, Sylvie could easily make out the driver in the uniform of the Snatchers pointing outwards and shouting into the back of the van. “Cahaya! I think this is it! It looks like they’ve picked a woman to Snatch!” Under her elation, however, Sylvie could feel that something was very wrong with this situation, but she couldn’t quite figure out what was bothering her. The van kept getting closer though, and the footage she was getting was astounding. The driver was still pointing… at her. Oh goddess. “Cahaya, I think they’re headed for us! The driver is pointing right at me.”

Cahaya laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous! They wouldn’t dare snatch citizens of the Matriarchies off of the street!” Despite Cahaya’s reassurances, Sylvie got a sinking feeling in her stomach as the van drew ever closer. And then stopped. Right in front of them. Then the door opened.

“CAHAYA! LOOK OUT!” But it was too late. Cahaya was being dragged into the van by two more men in the back in the Snatcher uniform. Dropping the camera, Sylvie did the only thing she could think of. She jumped towards Cahaya and grabbed her legs, trying to pull her out of the hands of the mendogs. Exasperated yells started to emanate from the door, before Sylvie heard the driver shout again. Before she knew what was happening, Sylvie was being manhandled into the van alongside Cahaya. The door slammed shut. She began clawing at the mendogs holding her down, and received a blow to the back of the neck in return. All that she could think as the world went mercifully black was, This can’t be happening. Not to me.


When Sylvie came to, she was laying on a bed of pillows. Looking around her, she noticed the sheer opulence of the room. The pillows were made of silk, and the walls had gold designs traced all over them. Incense burned in every corner, making the room smell and feel oppressive. She was also in different clothes than those she had been wandering around Thailand’s streets in. She felt quite naked, wearing what amounted to a golden bikini and tiara. Anger quickly rising in her chest, she strode over to the closed door and attempted to open it. Finding the mahogany either too heavy to move or locked, she began banging on the door and shouting. “My name is Sylvie Ninette Glaisyer! I am a citizen of France, and demand to be released from the custody of you mendogs at once!” When no response was forthcoming, she screamed, “The Matriarchy will punish you for this!”

To her shock, right after this the door opened and a man dressed in some very recognizable clothing strode in along with two palace guards. His tall blue hat bobbing with his head, the man opened his blue-robed arms wide and declared, “My name is Yingjang Shinawatra, and I am Chancellor to His Royal Majesty, Emperor Sayammak I. You will come with me, and if you are lucky the Emperor will favor you.” He then moved aside and gestured towards the door. “Ladies first.”

Sylvie spat at his feet. “I will not be told what to do by a filthy man! My name is Sylvie Ninette Glaisyer, and I am a citizen of France. You will release me and my companion, Cahaya Citra, at once.”

Still smiling, Shinawatra motioned to the door. “I’m afraid I cannot do that, Sylvie. You have been chosen, you see. The only way you may leave is if the Emperor does not favor you.”

“I refuse to see this Patriarch you call the Emperor and demand to be released at once. I will go nowhere with you.”

Shinawatra sighed dramatically. “I really wish you hadn’t said that, Sylvie.” Then, he nodded to the guards and strode out of the room. Sylvie fought as the guards grabbed her arms and dragged her along after the Chancellor through the halls of the vast Imperial Palace, but it was futile.

After about 10 minutes of walking, her captors stopped before a gigantic set of gold-plated doors which were ornamented with exotic pictures and text. Shinawatra turned back towards Sylvie, and quietly threatened, “If you value your life, you will endear yourself to the Emperor.” Sylvie responded by spitting on the Chancellor again. Shinawatra glowered at her. “You will pay for that a thousand fold. Now smile for his majesty!”

At that, the great doors opened and Shinawatra strode inwards, her captors dragging her along behind. “Your Majesty,” Shinawatra boomed, “I have brought you the second woman that your Choosers selected.” In a quieter voice, he warned the Emperor, “She is very spirited, Your Majesty.”

Sayammak grinned. “It’s been a while since I laid a spirited one, Shinawatra. Perhaps she’ll provide me with some much-needed variety!”

Rolling his eyes, Shinawatra sarcastically stated, “Oh I’m sure she will Your Majesty.” He then moved aside, allowing the Emperor to see Sylvie, who immediately began demanding release yet again. Shinawatra nodded to one of the guards, who slapped the arrogant woman. That quieted her. “Your Majesty, allow me to present Sylvie.”

Even though she was glowering, Sylvie still took Sayammak’s breath away. He had never had such an exotic concubine before, his previous 20 as the Crown Prince being limited to his father’s castaways. But with over 300 concubine slots to fill after his rise to power, he had plenty of space to add foreign beauties to his collection. Turning to Shinawatra, Sayammak gleamed. “Tell the Choosers that they are doing wonderful work. She is even more beautiful than the last, and will make a fine addition to my harem.”

The guards dragged Sylvie up to the Emperor’s feet, and released her arms at a nod from him. When she tried to rise, however, they pushed her back down. “Well then. Sylvie, was it? Welcome to the ranks of the Emperor’s concubines. I am glad to bestow this honor upon such a beautiful woman as yourself.” Sayammak then untied the knot which held the silk robe he was wearing, and shrugged the garment off, revealing his body in its entirety.

Sylvie had to admit, the Emperor’s body did arouse some feelings of attraction in her, but these urges were quickly suppressed. She was a civilized woman, and would not allow these base instincts to dictate her actions towards this mandog. Fixating on his nether regions, she quipped, “I guess I found something smaller than your humility.”

The guards raised their hands to beat her, but the Emperor held out his hand to stop them as he laughed. He looked over to Shinawatra. “A very good selection, my friend.” Then he smiled at Sylvie and moved forward.

KaiserElectric said:

In light of Russian ignorance of the ultimatum given 24 hours previous...

The Empire of Germany hereby declares war on Russia.

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OOC: Sorry for the doublepost, but this is important and does not go with the Thailand story.

IC: Emir Aladin I Farouk, recognizing the grave danger to all established and prosperous nations that the Russian Folly represents, especially monarchies such as the United Emirates, hereby publicly pledges his support of the Roman case and echos Germany's declaration.

A state of war now exists between the United Emirates of Casablanca and Gibraltar and the Russian Folly.

I have to announce that I'm retiring from this IOT due to a lack of ideas. I would like my nation to become a NPC until I have gathered a few ideas so I can return.

"Our forefathers nearly discovered the [REDACTED] before they blew themselves to Kingdom Come. What do you say, President Sinclair? Isn't it time that the eons-old fling between State and Science finally became a marriage? What better way to show its love then to institute the State Sanction?

Democracy is as old as humanity itself. Democracy is in our blood. But gentlemen, when I look at the USSR, I can't help but come to a startling conclusion. We are repeating the follies of the 20th century once more.

Look at the pathetic kaiser who rules in Germany? Isn't it embarrassing how so antiquated the structure of empire is, yet we still hold onto it. We still hold onto the notion that free market capitalism is the end all, be all. Oh sure, the communists don't, and some people want to influence the market, but nobody has thought outside of the box on the issue.

We have the technology to fundamentally shape society. We have the technology to reject the ideologies of old and to implement new ideologies borne from the fruit of science.

So what do you say, Mr. Sinclair and ladies and gentlemen of this here congress? Will you make me an honest scientist and put a grand around my finger?"

-Dr. Yin's Address to Congress

Doctor Julian Diaz sat at his desk under a dull light. His face was unshaven and his eyes were bloodshot with dark circles underneath them. In front of him lay stacks and stacks of paperwork to complete, an empty glass, and a half-empty bottle. Lists of dead and dying, requests for additional supplies by outlying bases, the status of training of personnel. Diaz was no longer the nominal commander of the Fellowship's mission in Japan; he had been appointed as the Governor-General in the Japanese Free Zone. Everything went through him. Despite that, he felt as if nothing he did made any difference anymore. The casualty lists never got any shorter.

Though civil governance had been suspended in territory administered by the Hospitallers, the Japanese Free Zone was administered by the Fellowship. More and more of the officers and staff that would normally be aiding him in his administration were being pulled away to coordinate with Malta's General-Staff regarding plans against Indonesia. Undermanned and overstretched, the stress has been driving him mad. As he continued to read and sign off the various requests different detachments and outposts were sending, he reflected on his experiences since arriving in Japan all those years ago.

Good friends had been lost. Among the many, First Lieutenant Marin had been killed in action during a patrol into the interior. He was far from the only one lost that way. Resistance had been far stronger than anticipated.

Diaz silently laughed at that. The once-gleaming pistol Marin had given him was in his desk, now battered and well-used. He had had to draw and fire it far more times than he would have liked. Many times, particularly recently, he had considered firing it a final time.

Supplies had always been meager. But with the war against Indonesia and starvation threatening, the flow of supplies was now a trickle. Not that he blamed the Hospitallers; they had severe problems of their own from what he had heard. While news wasn't coming from official channels, he had heard reports that there were full-scale food riots back in Buenos Aires and several other major cities. The size of the riots was never the same from any two sources, but Diaz was definitely inclined to believe that they had taken place, or were still ongoing. Japanese forces in the Fellowship had been deployed to Malta with policing orders. They were to free up detachments of the Knights Hospitaller from their duties so that they could go fight in the Indonesian campaign. While the Fellowship was also fighting there, very few Japanese forces were involved. Command felt that deploying Japanese soldiers to Indonesia after what the Indonesians did to Japan would be a very bad move with their present goals.

Another persistent rumor was the state of Grand Master De Luca's health. He had received many reports saying that De Luca, who wasn't in the best of shape due to his advanced age, was suffering from illness brought on by the stress involved in war planning (which, as a military man, he was actively involved in) combined with malnutrition caused by him cutting his own rations. Diaz was inclined to believe that too. While De Luca had many faults, he would never subject the men under his command to something he himself wouldn't be willing to undertake. He would be storming the beaches himself if he wasn't so old. He had always refused to abuse the rights afforded to his position.

A man of honor, Diaz thought. But honor doesn't feed a family. Diaz stopped and poured himself some sake from the bottle in front of him. He's a fool and a zealot. But at least he has his honor. Diaz drank his glass.

His assistant opened the door and came through to set another stack of paperwork upon Diaz's desk. With a sigh, he put the glass away and picked up another file.




A Class-2 mobilization order is now in effect. Any member of the Class-2, Class-3, Class-4, or Class-5 Reserve is hereby ordered to report for duty.

May God have mercy on us all.

Oh my God, Tambien! My sides have reached inner orbit. And you even used the golden vans!

Robert Can't said:

Also Thor technically Laos isn't a UN member right now. So pish

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I'm pretty sure a nation can consent to receive a mission without being a member. This isn't Tanipolarity.


██████████
__★__☥__★__
██████████

The strength of the ummah rests in the fact that it is a community. No individual is an island, and those that choose to wall themselves off from society should rightly be regarded with some degree of suspicion. Given the ideological incongruity between the United Arab Republic and the former Volgan Federation, we had viewed the rise of the Russian Soviet Federation with cautious optimism. Over the past eight years, however, such hope was eroded as the government slowly but steadily withdrew from active participation on the international stage. Serious concern was first raised over its ambivalence to the United Nations aid mission to Greece, and solidified by the military annexation of the region by so-called Russian peacekeepers. It coats its actions beneath the veil of standard Marxist materialist ideology, but its methodology is little more than imperialist bully tactics. The recent invasion of the Roman Empire is merely the latest demonstration of Soviet military chauvinism, committed without even the scarcest pretext of legitimacy.

Left unchecked, Soviet aggression will continue to expand like a noxious cloud into all available space. While it can be expected to collapse under the weight of its own imperial overstretch given time, we shall not sit idly by while this amoral régime wantonly preys upon the weak and the faithful. Henceforth, a state of war exists between the United Arab Republic and the Russian Soviet Federation.

Usual canal conditions apply.

Okay, I turn my back for five minutes and you guys start World War V. Just another day in IOT.

The NWU is unwilling to engage anyone militarily, but we will close our embassies to the Russians and to the Thais.

e350tb said:

Okay, I turn my back for five minutes and you guys start World War V. Just another day in IOT.

The NWU is unwilling to engage anyone militarily, but we will close our embassies to the Russians and to the Thais.

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I prefer "The Twin World Wars" as the two aren't linked (yet).

Hôtel Matignon, Paris

Annette smirked. She could see the anger in Jeannete Hiver's eyes, but she didn't care. Not a single bit. Before this conversation even started, the Commissioner of the STD already knew she won; Hiver would only be able to express her anger and disappointment at Renard, but she wouldn't be able to actually do anything about it. All Annette had to do was simply ride out the storm.

Still, Jeannette screamed like a banshee about get heads rolling, "YOU ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH WITH IT?"

Annette nodded. "Yes, it's going on as we speak, Madame Présidente. Operation Scorpion is a go."

"I told you," Jeannette continued to rant, "we don't have the womanpower to go around and do it and protect Indonesia at the same time! We're overextended!"

"It was too late, Jeannette. By the time you told me no, I already contacted the gang members and gave them the offer-"

"A million each?," the Présidente protested, "Are-"

"And a one way ticket to Sydney," Annette added, They were insistent on Australia for their permanent retirement."

Jeannette covered her head in her palms. "And the Australians know about this?"

Annette smirked again, "They won't have to"

---

French Embassy, Monaco, Empire of Monaco
A few hours later

"The hostages are secured in the center of the building, sir!"

Jean took a an exhilarating sigh of relief at his friend's SITREP. He could not believe he was pulling this off, or the fact that he even agreed to do this in the first place. Most of all, he couldn't even believe he was in the front office of the French embassy in Monaco. It almost seemed like a dream come true; just this one stupid charade and he and his friends would be off in the magical paradise of Australia. A land of sunshine and women who don't threaten to cut his nuts off every other Tuesday.

To get this dream, though, Jean still had to follow the last few steps. However, he couldn't help to admit that his gang, Les Scorpions, came a long way to get here. The thug life in Paris were probably one of the few ways a man in Paris can make a decent living. Sure, you have to deal with crazy femcops who are looking to castrate you at any given moment, and other gangs that want to steal your territory, but at least you could still be an independent man.

But even the gang life was starting to be feminized. All-female gangs started to prop up, and with the government's implicit approval, the police batted an eye away from them as long as they devoted their resources taking out the male and gender-neutral gangs. After a few good years in operation, the amount of remaining Scorpions could have been counted on two sets of hands.

Yet, that was when the government itself decided to step in. An unarmed STD operative came to the door, and handed the gang a paper. It was an offer of seventeen million francs, one million each, and a one way ticket out of France to any destination they chose. In return, they wanted Les Scorpions to play a little game of dress-up in their embassy in Monaco.

Jean tugged at his tight Monacan uniform. They couldn't find one my own size?, he questioned internally as continued the adjust the waistline. After fidgeting a few seconds more, he turned to his best friend and second in command, Pierre.

"Did you find anyone else?," he asked, making sure there was no wrenches in the work.

"No," Pierre deconfirmed, "There were no other workers in our last sweep. Or the sweep before hand. This place is 100% secure, sir."

"Really getting into character, huh? Don't worry, the media can't hear you"

Jean pointed at the circle of a frenzied mob of reporters and crew, desperately trying to get "exclusive" cover of the hostile takeover of the French embassy by a rouge element of the Monacan Army. Their constant reporting of every inch and detail of the events that happened this morning were so deafening, Jean couldn't even hear the cars outside. The only thing protecting them from this massive mob was a small line of local Monacan City Police, who gated the area off, since they have no jurisdiction to meddle on French soil.

"Hey, Pierre," Jean excitingly gleamed, "Do you see the microphone around here?"

Pierre nodded, "Right behind you, a little to the right. On top of that shelf. Planning on another round?"

"Damn straight. I think Mr. and Mrs. Reporter needs to shut up for a bit," Jean gloated.

The gang leader-turned-actor strolled up to the front door. He grandiosely opened it, popping his head out like a smug snake. Putting the microphone near his lips, the sea of reporters almost instantly silenced; Jean could even hear a muted gasp from the cute anchor a few yards away from him, as if her own life was threatened.

"For too long," Jean started to rant in the megaphone, "the government of Monaco have bowed down to the men-hating she-devils up north! Our grand empire, once the mightiest in the Mediterranean, now is a satellite state to Paris! Soon, cops will wander the streets, grabbing any man and boy and take a razor to their testicles!

I want to keep my testicles, thank you very much! The French government, despite having their pretty little bureaucrats in our mercy, the Monacan mercy, they have ignored our demands for the past few hours. We will not be ignored, oh no, mark our words. Therefore, I have a pledge to make to you all. If Miss Hiver doesn't make an official declaration in the next hour that France renounces any and all claim to the Empire of Monaco forever, I will take one of those cute little bureaucrats and blast her f***ing brain all over the concrete, for you to watch!"

Confident in the threat and the media storm that it will cause, Jean closed the door triumphantly. He turned around to face his friend Pierre, and raised his fist in the air. His friend nodded in approval

"Damn, Jean," Pierre congratulated, "That was good. Too bad you're not actually going to go through with it."

"And risk Australia? No thanks," Jean chuckled.

Suddenly, Pierre's headed jolted to the ceiling. "Hey, Jean, I think I hear helicopters. STD is about to enter the place. We should probably get away from any windows."

"Yeah, good idea," Jean conceded, "Can't risk the operation."

Dropping the microphone, Jean let himself be led by Pierre, who eventually settled upon an old storage room now occupied with three other Scorpions. Racks, once holding valuable papers of French national security, were now empty as they were pushed over to make defensive cover; their contents strewn all over the floor. Jean and Pierre took their places, hiding behind an unoccupied rack.

A few minutes later, Jean could hear a C4 going off on the outside of the building, near their location. The STD were clearly going to breach the building in the most action movie way possible: the front door. Jean couldn't help but roll their eyes. For such an elite special ops force, they took the path literally everyone, including them, prepares for.

Soon, A swift kick opened the door, revealing a woman in combat uniform, slugging a shotgun. Behind her was a posse of pissed-off women brandishing military-grade weaponry. The eyes of the two grounds met for a split second, before the two started to fire at each other.

For seconds the room was engulfed by a cacophony of gunfire. Barely, Jean could hear the screaming of one of the hostages deeper within the embassy, but it was muffled out by the sheer sound of all the gunfire around him. Unfazed, he continued to pop lead out, firing away to keep his nuts intact.

A few seconds later, both parties still had every member alive. They all collectively sighed; they were both issued blanks. The gunfire was simply for the media outside; all of them were firing blanks. Neither party had any true ill will against each other, even if the STD didn't particularly like any male holding a gun.

Pierre, excited for his chance at a new life, dashed towards the lead STD officer as the seven-strong group funneled into the room. With puppy dog eyes, he practically whined, "When are we going to Australia for real?"

With a Cheshire grin, the STD officer reached for her boot, and in one fell moment, grabbed a secretly placed knife and jammed it through Pierre's throat. With a devilish laughter, she cried out, "We don't negotiate with terrorists, mandog."

Before the rest of the Scorpions could react, the rest of the special ops squad pulled out their silenced pistols and unloaded them at the remaining Scorpions. Unfortunately for Jean, who was now clenching a bloody stomach as he collapsed on the ground, these pistols fired live ammunition.

Writhing on the floor in pain, it took Jean all his willpower to not scream as his body continued to bleed. He couldn't believe he was being betrayed, but at this point surviving was more important than assessing his life choices. He could tell the other three Scorpions were dead; the STD operatives took a very relaxed stance in the room.

"Idiots," one of the girls chastised, "Did they really think we had seventeen million francs to give out to a bunch of thugs?"

"Just focus on the mission," the officer responded, "Kill the remaining Scorpions, and make sure the hostages don't get harmed. Or see anything. And don't threaten any of the workers' husbands. Not all men are hostiles, Normandie"

"One time, Ile-de-France. One time, and you're never going to let me live it down!"

Suddenly, one of the other STD operatives noticed Jean on the ground alive. Placing her gun on his temple, she turned over to her officer.

"Oh hey, one's still alive"

It was the last thing Jean ever heard.

---

To: Monaco
From: France
CC: The World

Following the horrific events at the Siege of the French Embassy by a rouge element of the Monacan Army, we can no longer stand idle as the crumbling "empire" allows our citizens to be threatened.

Monaco clearly can no longer take care of itself, as evidenced by a hostile takeover of an embassy for a few hours. The lack of any Monacan response to said event while it was going around is harrowing, and the fact that French soldiers had to rescue our workers show who really has the ability to protect Monaco.

In that regards, we demand Monaco henceforth allow French military units to enter the Empire's borders to stamp out the rouge element that threatened our embassy worker's lives. Refusal of this demand will implicate the Monacan government as accomplices to the insidious act of terror in the eyes of France, and we will treat them as such.

Long Live the Republic and Long Live the Matriarchy!

Yingjang felt the need to smoke. He could not resist the urge. He had not smoke for five years, but the stress caused because of this war against France and England made him want to smoke. He had not slept for five days. At all. He was personally inspecting the defenses in the beaches and the 620,000 men ready for battle. He also had to do quite a lot paperwork, choose the right number of supplies, make the right strategic and tactical decisions and deal with Imperial Bureaucracy. The Emperor was enjoying himself with his Concubines and his aristocrat friends in the Palace, and the Chancellor has the habit of supervising everything by himself, so Yingjang had to oversee everything by himself and decide everything by himself. His tiredness was easily seen in his eyes.

But he needed to do all of this in order to ensure that everything was perfect and that the nation would be able to withstand this challenge. Since his twenties, Yingjang had been trying to gain power. At first, as a simple civil official, then he managed to gain the trust of Emperor Rama, father of the current Emperor, and in 2097, he became Chancellor of Emperor Rama's Kingdom. He then, using diplomacy and war, managed to unite all of Thailand by 2106. He then managed to expand the Empire to Burma and Cambodia, while at the same time developing it's economy and signing economic agreements with other nations, such as PAU. Now, he could not allow all of his work for so many years to be ruined.

For this reason, he has prepared the "Yingjang Line", a line of defense which shall crush the French and English even before they manage to reach his 620,000 men. He has also started mobilizing the entire Thai nation. Next season, he shall conscript 250,000 more men. This will continue for two more seasons, in order for the number of troops to reach a high enough number to be able to secure Thai independence.

the Roman Emperor bets that France and Britain easily crushes the Thai military. cause, after all, they are female. and we all know Females are superior to us males.

Good Evening Australia, this is the Knightly Knews, and I am your host Harris Knightly. Tonight we will be discussing the recent events in both Indonesia and France. Our guests and debaters for tonight are, myself as always. Lucas King, a leading political analyst in Australia. Hannah Thatcher, a descendant of the “Iron Lady” Margaret Thatcher, and a well known Australian Politician and feminist. Finally an interesting but gladly welcomed guest, David Walker, Australia’s current Prime Minister.

Our First topic, Thailand’s invasion of Indonesia, and Indonesia subsequently ending trade with the rest of the world, Lucas would you mind starting the discussion?

LK: Certainly Harris. As I see it, Thailand has declared war against an oppressive totalitarian regime, and in protest, Indonesia threw a temper tantrum like a spoiled child and closed its borders with the rest of the world, basically condemning both the world to starvation and Bulk Prod to failure.

HT: That is a gross oversimplification, and I am personally shocked and offended that a man of your stature and knowledge would leave out so many important details and the situation.

LK: Well yes it is a simplification, but that is the gist of the situation, what else is there to say.

HT: Well for one, Thailand is an oppressive absolute monarchy that claims never having freedoms or democracy is an excuse to not have them. A monarchy that has constantly proven to be a rival to Australia and tries to contend it on almost every situation. A monarchy that has proven to use military and aggressive force against peaceful protesters wanting democracy, and you are telling me and the nation that Indonesia is the problem, and that Indonesia needs to be stopped.

LK: Thailand is open to compromise, Thailand is open to diplomacy, Indonesia, has closed their borders, condemned the world to starvation, and has committed, wittingly or not, the worst genocide since the 20th century.

DW: You two, calm down. The situation is far more complex than either of you realize. Thailand is certainly the aggressor, because of them the world is in this situation. HOWEVER, Indonesia is also an aggressor as they have not only embargoed their real enemy, but also the rest of the world except for their feminist friend, France. They have in fact attempted to condemn the world to starvation, and their embargo is going to ravage their own economy, and most likely get Bulk Prod to leave the country, and it very much threatens Australia. However, I have received word from France that they are trying to get Indonesia to change their position, however the lack of response of from Indonesia is disheartening. All in all, Indonesia is is a matter of Australia's national security, and we will not allow Thailand, who has shown to be an aggressive, anti-republican, and a constant opponent and rival to Australia in the region, gain control of such an important and strategic position for Australia.

*applause from the crowd*

HK: Second topic, The return of Jeannette as President of France. Hannah, if you don’t mind could you start us off?

HT: Certainly, Jeannette is an interesting character. She is one of France’s greatest assets, and yet also one of their greatest weaknesses.

LK: Asset? How the hell can that Misandrist be an Asset to that man hating country in any form?

HT: You didn’t let me finish Lucas. As I was saying, she is extremely Missandrist, yes However, she is strong, she is a strong and forceful leader, with plenty of charisma. There is a reason why modern analysts has described her as “France’s Female Hitler” however, like Hitler she hasn’t made very many friends with the wider world. In essence, she can rally the people of france to her cause, but her extremism ultimately hurts her cause in other portions of the world.

LK: How can you say that, when feminists have taken over countries like Indonesia, and Great Britain, One of Australia’s former allies, and the country that created us, and that you yourself were born into.

DW: Lucas, need I remind you that England was annexed into France many years ago, and just now became an independent nation, that just so happened to become a feminist state, there is no way the French would have let them go if they didn’t, and Her Majesties are no doubt puppets of France.

HT: I don’t necessarily think that Victoria and Elizabeth are puppets, they very much believe in their cause and are similar to Jeannette in their extremism, but the honest problem is that they haven’t been independent long enough, and haven’t had enough interaction in the wider world to be able to correctly analyze them yet. However lets get back to the topic that was given.

DW: I agree, However, i think you pretty much said everything that needs to be said, Miss Thatcher.

HT: Please call me Hannah, we are in a friendly atmosphere here.

DW: Alright Hannah, but yeah the return of Jeannette is either the best thing that has happened to France or the worst thing, and it is simply too early to actually be able to tell.

HK: Well Thank you for your thoughts, lets move on to our next topic. Australia. First off, How is Australia and New Zealand doing? In short, perhaps the most important non government related thing is that Australia has qualified for the world cup held in Africa this year.

DW: Ah yes, it is a glorious day, with the reintroduction of the World Cup it is a time to celebrate. Of course it is nothing spectacular to become a part of the world cup, however, it is spectacular that we were at the top of the Asia-Oceania League. Unfortunately the Australian team was caught off guard and the official Australian FIFA uniform has yet to be completed, however, and I am proud to state this, they will be revealed soon.

HK: Now on to another point still regarding the world cup, many people think Oceania, a nation that was able to participate in the world cup, yet it is under Australian Governance (OOC: last I checked this was the case), and did absolutely horribly, including against Australia, and some question whether this was a legitimate play by the Oceanian team or if they were “coerced” into
losing. What do you have to say on the matter.

DW: I for one know the Australian government had nothing to do with that, and I must remind you that not only did the Oceania team do horribly against every other nation, not just Australia, but the game against Australia was perhaps its best, and on the situation of Oceania, and the rest of the Australian Government in general. They are in a similar boat to Hong Kong of many centuries years ago they are officially under the control of Australia, but essentially run themselves and have their own government, which is why they were able to participate. New Zealand is in a similar position to Scotland in the UK of centuries long past. They have their own parliament, who elects their own minister, but they also elect representatives for the Australian Parliament and I and considered Prime Minister of Australia and New Zealand, as the Australian-New Zealand parliament have chosen me, in addition to this New Zealand is in a sort of “Personal Union” status with Australia, as their Governor-General is the same as ours. Papua New Guinea is officially administered under the Australian government and is a Federal State within the Republic. The Australian Mandate for India is a colonial nation, that is governed by the Parliament of Australia. The Governor-General of Australia, being the head of state of all of Australia and New Zealand, chooses a Governor-Colonel of India with the approval of the Australian Parliament. The Australian parliament then appoints the legislature of India, The Governor-Colonel is a member of the legislature as well. Anyways I think that is enough of the explanation of the government for right now.

HK: Actually thank you for talking about India, as that is a perfect segway to my next topic. What is the government currently doing to defend and advance the Mandate?

DW: Unfortunately, because of the Indonesian embargo we are being forced to remove all but the most vital of the Australian administration of India as it is now going to be far more expensive to get them food.

HT: But what about the native population?

DW: Unfortunately we can do nothing to help them, however they have survived off the mutated land for many years now and even during the Australian administration we have been barely able to help them out, it is a shame yes and perhaps my least proud moment of my time as a Prime Minister. But they have been able to survive on their own for many years now and they should be fine for the most part without their lives being interrupted much, we hope.

HT: And why is this the case, why has India been neglected when it is debatably the most important thing Australia should be working on building up and improving?

DW: The reason for this is that Australia just has too many, erm...

HT: Projects?

DW: *Sigh* Yes.

HT: Why do we keep making more projects when there are far more important things to do?

DW: Because these projects are what helps build up Australia and makes her stronger, because of the most recent project, our own agricultural advancement and our own food production facilities. We will be able to be free from the Indonesian based Bulk Prod.

HT: However, we barely focused on that project, instead continuing to push money into the Space elevator and other projects.

LK: Yeah i'm curious about that too, why isn’t the government focusing more her people, especially in this time with the up and coming election.

HK: this also provides a wonderful segway into our final topic... Erm, sorry to cut you off Lucas.

LK: No its ok, I was done talking anyway.

HK: Well as most of you know, next week elections begin in Australia, and luckily for us we have debatably the two favorites to win. The current Prime Minister David Walker, and Hannah Thatcher. I will ask questions for them individually, this is not a debate, as they have already passed. Now Hannah, you have been criticized by both your feminist contemporaries and your anti-feminist adversaries for using the title of “Feminist” would you mind explaining your actions

HT: I would be glad to Harris. I call myself a Feminist because of the great Feminists of centuries long past, the second wave of feminism, where it was about obtaining responsibility and equality to men, and not about the misandry of the third wave, or the Matriarchy of the fourth. Simply put I am a feminist because i believe in the Advancement of women and men to an equal status, and there are problems facing both sexes still, all across the globe. I wish to fix that, and there are many still who agree with me on this position. In short I am a feminist because I fight for the equality, advancement, and responsibility of both men and women.

HK: Thank you very much, my second question. You have been very critical of the current feminist regimes across the world, along with the Feminist party of Australia. Yet they have chosen to elect you as their candidate for the upcoming election, could you explain your position on this case, and why the Feminist party nominated you as their candidate.

HT: Well the answer to the second question is simple, I am their only chance to get a female to be the Prime Minister. I have the family and historical ties and I can win the general election among both sexes, because Australia is a true democracy and not a Matriarchy that actively seeks to destroy men's rights. Which makes it actively worse than pre Feminist Patriarchies, where in most cases the goal was to protect women instead of actively trying to keep them down. Which is what the current matriarchies of France, Indonesia, and the newly created UQ. That is simply why I am against the Feminist Nations and Feminist Party of Australia. Men are our brothers, and fathers. They are not lessers to us, and we are not lessers to them, we are all humans, and we are all equal. The current “feminists” only seek to take away that equally and elevate women to a superior standing than men, and make all men look like they are subhuman. In short they are actively trying to take away their humanity, against a particular race that is called Racism, against a sex, it is the worst type of sexism.

HK: Well I can see that you feel very strong on this issue, now before we come to my final question I would like to ask our current Prime Minister a question or two.

DW: Please I would be delighted.

HK: Wonderful! You have been described as one of the greatest Prime Ministers in Australia’s history, you have revealed our presence to the world, You successfully united Australia and New Zealand, You spread our influence across the islands of Oceania, Updated our Military, provided energy for the majority of our citizens, Colonized India, and forged friendships and Alliances that continue to till today. However, many of your adversaries say that in the more recent years you have slacked in your abilities, and Australia has not seen as much growth in recent history as when you were elected, could you explain yourself?

DW: Certainly, In the early years we were a new nation, barely able to stand on the world stage. And as we have advanced we were able to start to expand out and do more things, my projects have been going on for a while, and at the beginning they were simple. The modernization of our military, the transition to Thorium Reactors, etc. We are now able to compete with other powers on the world stage, and while Australia isn’t the best in any area, we are in a very strong position. Simply put, as we have expanded in strength and capability so has our projects, the Space elevator is one example. These projects for the most part take longer, and more resources to complete, as such my achievements have slacked a bit lately, but they will continue to come.

HK: One more question, is there anything you would like to announce in regards to the government or anything?

DW: Well this was supposed to be a secret project, however it is mostly complete, so I don’t think the military would mind if i reveal it. A couple month’s ago we purchased a couple Meteors from our ally and friend Germany. This was no secret, what was secret however is that we purchased the schematics from them as well. Over the past few month’s military R&D have been working on them, advancing them. We have given them better weapons, integrated Australian Drone AI, don’t worry they are still piloted by a human, improved their armor with the same armor that the Kola MBT uses, to make it stronger and lighter. And we have given it the ability to be dropped from low altitude. This new Meteor is custom designed and modified by the Australian military to fit into our military doctrine of quick response and surgical strikes. They can be dropped into a hostile country within minutes, and establish control of an area. I’m not going to reveal fighting style, squad format, or weapons as all that is very hush hush, but tests are nearly complete and the redubed Australian “Meteorite” will be ready to be deployed very soon.

HK: Wow this is an interesting development, and quite an impressive achievement that the military was able to create our own meteors, and modify them to be able to work better with Australian materials and doctrine. I am honestly speechless. Well we are almost out of time, however I have one last question for both David and Hannah, If you are elected to be PM what is your plans for the future of Australia?

DW: Ladies first.

HT: Oh no I insist, you should go first.

DW: Alright. If I am chosen to continue to be the Prime Minister things will mostly stay the same, Australia will continue to be developed and our power will continue to grow. However, There are some project priorities that need to be rearranged, I will put more time and effort into the advancement of the production of the Space Elevator, and put more time and effort into building up the Australian food industry to replace the Indonesian. In addition I will continue to seek friendly and peaceful relations to our neighbors, while still defending our national interest and national security.

*Applause from the crowd*

HT: On the other hand, If I am chosen to be Australia’s Prime Minister, I will seek to expand the equalities and break the current view of women and men in the world. I will seek to show that they are equals and should friends and comrades and not enemies. I will seek the Advancement of the Australian food industry so that we can continue to colonize India and return governance and peace to that land. Finally, I will take stricter action to those nations that seek to only hurt and weaken Australia on both the local and global stage.

*More Applause from the crowd*

HK: Well that is all we have for tonight, Thank you for watching the Knightly Knews and have a great Night!

*The Knightly Knews theme plays*

DW: Hey Hannah.

HT: Yes?

DW: Good luck in the election, I wish you the best.

HT: You too.

*David Walker and Hannah Thatcher shake hands on screen as the credits roll. Everyone leaves and the show ends*

"Ah, gentlemen! What can I do for you?"
The woman reclined in her chair.
"Miss, you know exactly where we are from and why we are here."
"Ah, yes, your little club of pissant self-centered men in suits wants something here?"
"Excuse me miss, we've got a little more than this little dirt cabin."
"What did you say? This is the old Palace at Windhoek! There is no finer building in the entirety of the Namib Warlord Areas!"
"Besides the point. We're here to discuss business."
The womanlooked at the men sitting opposite her. Members of the AF Warlord Diplomatic Corps. One was carrying a stereotypical briefcase.
"Business?"
"Yes. You see, we wish to see Namibia be one again, and we'd need someone to do that. If you make Namibia a part of the AF, the-"
"Not interested in your man's club. Now get out. Or else."
"Are you threatening members of a sovereign federation, miss?"
"You aren't in your goddamn federation. Now get out. Namibia shall be the next great feminist empire and I will get my wa-"
a shot cracked from the briefcase.
"Well, that's diplomacy out, let's go back and report."

A Rhodesian map, showing the status of warlord territories a week after the assassination of Ms. Sethunya Lesedi.

Hard Lock. As in Very Very hard Lock. Harder than the normal Lock

Got 17 PMs full of lovely War plans and espionage

Robert Can't said:

Hard Lock. As in Very Very hard Lock. Harder than the normal Lock

Got 17 PMs full of lovely War plans and espionage

Click to expand...

*insert swearing profusely here.*

*insert swearing profusely here.*

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Yeah, forgot to tell you I was sending aid.

Scarlet_King said:

Yeah, forgot to tell you I was sending aid.

Click to expand...

...aren't you the one who pummeled the NWU in the first place?

OOC: Aid = invasion. Most probably.

Mathalamus said:

...aren't you the one who pummeled the NWU in the first place?

Click to expand...

My records tell me the NWU pummeled themselves, but the Technocratic Union is willing to let bygones be bygones.

christos200 said:

OOC: Aid = invasion. Most probably.

Click to expand...

Trust me. If I was going to invade him, I would announce my intent days in advance as loudly as possible.

Do we even have 17 active players?