Really? I don't seem to have this problem myself. Some spacing might be required, but really, I don't tend to find this particular problem that you have. Though you're right trading away all of your primary luxuries gets a bit harder in the mid-game, that's where secondaries come into play. Honestly, if you liken it to Arabia's Bazaar (Which in itself is more powerful then the UA, it just comes into play later), just think of how often you have issues getting rid of your double resources with that.
If you find a few good trade partners early game (There's probably always one or two that will stick with you throughout the game, not every civ will end up hating you after all), you should be able to monitor their supplies turn by turn, and swoop in once they have a second lux. Trade the 1v1 trade, and watch as after 30 turns, they'll come back to you asking to renew it. It does require some micromanagement, yes, but it's worth the effort. That way, their UA tends to read almost like the Commerce final policy for me in that I get 6 happiness instead of 4.
The key to using the UA well is the flexibility it should give you. Swoop in fast on second luxuries, and from that point on you should be able to dictate whether you want the UA to read "+2 Happiness" or "-2 Happiness +7 GPT". Generally speaking, first lux goes towards getting some GPT to get my economy up and running, second one goes towards countering that happiness loss, and after that it all depends. The map should dictate your way of playing here.
Really, their UA is stronger if you micromanage it. Then the Polder comes into play, and you start racking up food rapidly. You name Siam and the Aztecs as foodmongers. Siam needs to make constant investments to keep the food rolling in, which can be an issue in the earlier game. I'll give you the Aztecs, freaking love the floating gardens. In turn however, all the Dutch need is a decent city site. Those few marsh tiles that'll be in your early rings don't matter, Rotterdam/Utrecht will be working the grass around it anyway until Guilds. If you get a flood plains city, things are even better. This also makes Rotterdam/Utrecht great sites for your Guilds as they'll have huge food producing tiles to counterbalance it without the need of setting up a food trade route.
I tend to play the Dutch with 3/4 cities (the 4th really depends on how many new luxes I can grab, needs to be 2 to make it worthwhile), of which 2 tend to have at least 3 polders within their territory. This is of course once again slightly map dependant, but I find I can do this with reasonable success. Tradition, go tall, and if Amsterdam has polders, Monarchy becomes even more fun. In the mid game, work out how the friend blocks lay, and use the Sea Beggars to wreak havoc on your enemies. It works out very well for me, usually. In the early game, you'll want a slight detour through Guilds and, if you needed the economy boost from your UA, Construction to get both defenses and colloseums up to counteract the unhappiness. Then go right back on path to the Universities.
They're somewhat map dependant, yes, I'll grant you that. They need at least ONE solid port city, and if you see flood plains, beeline a city there. But as noted before, if there's swamps around, the AI loves to leave them alone so you should be able to take them for only slightly worse polders (4 food come medieval is still a lot).
I do however say that both France and Indonesia need more work to do what they want. Indonesia is far more map-dependant then the Dutch (Though the Candi buff helps) and their UU is far too unpredictable and poorly positioned to truely work. France's UA is far more limiting, their UI is pretty good but not as powerful as the Polder (Which, in turn, IMO is probably not as good as the Terrace farm, but still a good second) and their UU is just a buffed normal unit without anything truely interesting, whereas the Dutch have a UU that's on a good tech path and can rule the seas for a good time to come. India, in general, has a UU that comes at a wrong time and an UB that, while not poor, is far from spectacular either. I'd say that the Dutch are above those.
Which is why I'd say they should move up a tier, with the annotation that they're stronger depending on map conditions. I just feel they kinda fall in between the two tiers depending on the way the dice rolls in a 50-50 way, they're certainly better then the tier they're in, but would likely be among the worst of the tier above. Though I'm not quite sure what Portugal is doing in a higher tier then the Dutch...
. Actually I find that with Poly and any other sea civ, my capitol's growth is much better and faster once I reach 3 food routes (easy enough with sailing, AH, and then either engineering or compass) and I can actually work mines and moais without inhibiting my growth! I get desert starts a lot too (but flood plains is A-OK!) but I rarely get tundra starts; just my expansion spots might have tundra. But tundra is not that bad if you can get Aurora Dance. In whatever case mid to late game food ships are really powerful, and my satellites need only be size 15-20 or so to be somewhat useful (easily doable even with the worst desert-ish terrains but you will need to invest a couple of food ships there; I'll post SS illustrating this point when I have time) Actually just look at Nuku Hiva in my game which was settled mainly to block the English 
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