The Person
Deity +2
There are a lot of really LAME jokes out there. Some are even so lame that you laugh at their lameness. Post your really LAME jokes here!
The LAMEST jokes you can think of...
- Thread starter The Person
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I once knew a joke that took about 3 minutes to say and the conclusion was barely funny. But that was also the joke, and it worked. 
I bet people are going to post jokes that they find lame and other really funny.
I bet people are going to post jokes that they find lame and other really funny.
G
Gainy
Guest
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
denyd
Emperor
The word for the day is legs - spread the word
Pirate
Emperor
Originally posted by Gainy bo
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
Oh my god I actually laughed at that one! How sick am I?
Hey, did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?
It's rated "AARRRRRRRR!!"
Achinz
Hermit of Huangshan
The old
"Once there were three holes. Well, well, well."
"Once there were three holes. Well, well, well."
h4ppy
You sir, pineapple?
I too laughed at the stick joke.
Amenhotep7
Spartiate
Originally posted by Gainy bo
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
I laughed at the Batman one.
I also laughed at Achinz's!
ybbor
Will not change his avata
yo mama so fat, she sat down, and she was fat
G
Gainy
Guest
lol, it's funny because it isn't. There is no punch line, it's just a daft way of trying to insult someones mum -- by giving no real reason.
A real "Yer maw!" joke would be like...
Your mum's so fat, she lay down on the motorway and we ran out of petrol trying to drive round her!
Stupid "Yer maw!" joke...
Your mum's so fat she missed the train! (or ybbors' one)
I didn't realise my jokes would get such a good response btw
A real "Yer maw!" joke would be like...
Your mum's so fat, she lay down on the motorway and we ran out of petrol trying to drive round her!
Stupid "Yer maw!" joke...
Your mum's so fat she missed the train! (or ybbors' one)
I didn't realise my jokes would get such a good response btw
What's green and goes camping?
A boy sprout
Why are pirates pirates?
Becasue they Aarrrr (similar to one posted before)
Why does a frenchman have one egg for breakfast on a morning?
Because one egg is une oeuf (enough) could be un instead of une- French wasn't my strongest subject
Why did the vicar put a fence up around the graveyard?
Because people were dying to get in
Why was the elephant buried at the top of the hill?
Because it was dead
An Irish man rings up British Airways and says, "I'd like to know how long it'd take to get from Dublin to Washington". The Receptionist says, "uhm, er, erm- just a minute." So the Irish man says, "Oh, Thank you very much!".
Four fonts (e.g comic sans) walk into a bar
The barman says, "Oi- get out! We don't want your type in here"
An Ice Cream man was found dead in his ice cream van. Awful, awful news. He was found covered in hundreds and thousands, flakes and butterscotch syrup. Police believe he topped himself.
Here's a long pointless joke which my english teacher told me. It is very good to tell however, it is stupid!
So here we go. A man is in the desert it's about 1400 A.D and he's moving house. He's just set off on his journey, and his bags are really weighing him down and progress is very, very slow. After about half an hour he's thinking to himself, is it really worth it? Just after he see's an Arab who asks him if he wants to borrow his camel? He doesn't need to be asked twice and is extremely grateful. Just as he is about to set off the Arab says to him, "Oh i nearly forgot, he is a good camel however, he does sit down occasionally. When he sits down just give him some hay and he'll get straight back up!". The man expresses his gratitude and sets off. After a few hours the camel sits down and he thinks to himself oh no, then he remembers what the man had said top him about giving the camel some hay. So he gives the camel some hay and the camel jumps back up and starts moving again. The camel sits down a few more times so the man just keeps giving him some hay and the camel gets straight back up. As they are crossing a river the camel sits down. "Oh no!" says the man aloud, "what a time to sit down". So he gets down from the camel and gives it some hay and it doesn't get up. So he gives it a good kick up the backside and it still doesn't move so he thinks to himself, well i'm nearer the arab than i am my house so i'll go and ask him what i should do. So he goes back to see the Arab and says, "We were making quite good progress and everytime he stopped i just gave him some hay, then we came to a river and he just sat down!. I tried everything i tried to give him some hay and i gave him a good kick up the backside, y'know what should i do?" The Arab looks at him and says, "Oh i am sorry i should've told you, he likes to sit on fish!"
*If you don't get this joke your not supposed to! It is a pointless joke that is very funny (well, could be pushing it!) because it has no punchline so isn't a joke but perhaps a joke at a joke- showing a living language at work.
A boy sprout
Why are pirates pirates?
Becasue they Aarrrr (similar to one posted before)
Why does a frenchman have one egg for breakfast on a morning?
Because one egg is une oeuf (enough) could be un instead of une- French wasn't my strongest subject
Why did the vicar put a fence up around the graveyard?
Because people were dying to get in
Why was the elephant buried at the top of the hill?
Because it was dead
An Irish man rings up British Airways and says, "I'd like to know how long it'd take to get from Dublin to Washington". The Receptionist says, "uhm, er, erm- just a minute." So the Irish man says, "Oh, Thank you very much!".
Four fonts (e.g comic sans) walk into a bar
The barman says, "Oi- get out! We don't want your type in here"
An Ice Cream man was found dead in his ice cream van. Awful, awful news. He was found covered in hundreds and thousands, flakes and butterscotch syrup. Police believe he topped himself.
Here's a long pointless joke which my english teacher told me. It is very good to tell however, it is stupid!
So here we go. A man is in the desert it's about 1400 A.D and he's moving house. He's just set off on his journey, and his bags are really weighing him down and progress is very, very slow. After about half an hour he's thinking to himself, is it really worth it? Just after he see's an Arab who asks him if he wants to borrow his camel? He doesn't need to be asked twice and is extremely grateful. Just as he is about to set off the Arab says to him, "Oh i nearly forgot, he is a good camel however, he does sit down occasionally. When he sits down just give him some hay and he'll get straight back up!". The man expresses his gratitude and sets off. After a few hours the camel sits down and he thinks to himself oh no, then he remembers what the man had said top him about giving the camel some hay. So he gives the camel some hay and the camel jumps back up and starts moving again. The camel sits down a few more times so the man just keeps giving him some hay and the camel gets straight back up. As they are crossing a river the camel sits down. "Oh no!" says the man aloud, "what a time to sit down". So he gets down from the camel and gives it some hay and it doesn't get up. So he gives it a good kick up the backside and it still doesn't move so he thinks to himself, well i'm nearer the arab than i am my house so i'll go and ask him what i should do. So he goes back to see the Arab and says, "We were making quite good progress and everytime he stopped i just gave him some hay, then we came to a river and he just sat down!. I tried everything i tried to give him some hay and i gave him a good kick up the backside, y'know what should i do?" The Arab looks at him and says, "Oh i am sorry i should've told you, he likes to sit on fish!"
*If you don't get this joke your not supposed to! It is a pointless joke that is very funny (well, could be pushing it!) because it has no punchline so isn't a joke but perhaps a joke at a joke- showing a living language at work.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Originally posted by Gainy bo
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
Those are pretty good
Amenhotep7
Spartiate
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.
Finmaster
The White Ghost
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2003
- Messages
- 2,716
Oooh I see.. well we don't have "yer mom" jokes in Finland, when we want to insult a person, we insult the person.. instead of insulting his relativeOriginally posted by Gainy bo
lol, it's funny because it isn't. There is no punch line, it's just a daft way of trying to insult someones mum -- by giving no real reason.
A real "Yer maw!" joke would be like...
Your mum's so fat, she lay down on the motorway and we ran out of petrol trying to drive round her!
Stupid "Yer maw!" joke...
Your mum's so fat she missed the train! (or ybbors' one)
I didn't realise my jokes would get such a good response btw
brandonbowler
What the Deuce?
Wot is a rabbit's favorite jewlery 14 CARROT gold!!!!!!!!!!
omg...
omg...
stratego
Trying to be good.
Here are some politically corrrect jokes:
1)George Bush, A Jew and a Muslim is stuck on an island, they have one raft what do they do?
.
.
.
They get on the raft together and paddle away, Isn't cooperation great!
2) A black person is in a bar. He sees three girls, a brunette, a red head, and a blonde. He goes up to the brunette and says you have beautiful eye, and she blushes. He goes up to the red head and says you have beautiful hair, and she blushes. He goes up the the blonde and says you have beautiful lips, and she blushes, he also blushes and walked away.
3) What happens when a Jew with and erection runs into the wall?
.
.
.
. He breaks his nose... says Hitler (who was a very bad man)
1)George Bush, A Jew and a Muslim is stuck on an island, they have one raft what do they do?
.
.
.
They get on the raft together and paddle away, Isn't cooperation great!
2) A black person is in a bar. He sees three girls, a brunette, a red head, and a blonde. He goes up to the brunette and says you have beautiful eye, and she blushes. He goes up to the red head and says you have beautiful hair, and she blushes. He goes up the the blonde and says you have beautiful lips, and she blushes, he also blushes and walked away.
3) What happens when a Jew with and erection runs into the wall?
.
.
.
. He breaks his nose... says Hitler (who was a very bad man)
Achinz
Hermit of Huangshan
What did the pig say when the farmer pulled its tail?
That is the end of me.
Why did the impatient boy throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.
How do you circumcize a whale?
Send in four skin divers.
That is the end of me.
Why did the impatient boy throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.
How do you circumcize a whale?
Send in four skin divers.
#1 Person
The Cow
The whale joke was funny. My joke in "my Funny Cow Joke" is a tad lame.
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