Orc Onslaught : Semulin

(and now back to the Histury of Orcland)

We makes da city of Death Skull north of Bad Moonz. Da chaos people build de big Beer Faktory in da city of Khorinasomefin'. (around 520 IC. We think Grotsnick is refering to Bugman's Brewery)

We lurnz how ta do stuff wif rocks other dan hit fings wif em. (540 IC, orcs learn stoneworking from the Green Library)

We makes da city of Evil Sunz. One ob our Gobbos wif a real poky spear kilz a giant spider. We figure out how ta make floaty houses (boats) from my book house. (550 IC)

Gorkamorka makes a really big pot for us to keep foods we don't eat right then in. (Granery) Goff gets pillaged by a spider again. Ghaz really mad again. (560 IC)

One of our bow gobbos shootz and kills a big spider. We lurnz how ta dig ditches ta makes our crops gro betta. We'll have lotsa food now and can make more orcses. (580 IC)

De same bow gobbo kilz a Skel-e-ton and takes out a dunjon gettin us 25 gold and he gets promoted. We now gotz our firsty vet unit. (600 IC)

We sees some wooden elfs attack a spider camp near Evil Sunz. Dey hurt da spiders, but not enuf. One ob dose spiders gets awful mad and eats a goblin spear man. (610 IC)

Dem darkskinned Arabyans comes up and says we hafta give em da secrets o' story makin or they're gonna barsh us. Ghaz kills de one dat come ober ta tell us dat. He figures dat if dat one don't go back mebby dey won't make war. And if dey do, den we's already ahead cuz we killt one ob dem. (Araby declares war on the Orcs, 630 IC)

We sends out boyz from Gorkamorka and Blood Axe ta find new places for citys. We is startin to run out o' room for dem, but has a few gud spotz left. (around 645 IC)

Dem ugly stoopid Westerlandas brings a floaty house round to da south of orcland and land an ugly stoopid settler dere. We would ha kilt him, but he got some 'ommies wif spears guardin' him. (680 IC)

We makes da city of Blood Handz south of Gorkamorka. (690 IC)

We finally gets a road built to bring wolfs into Gorkamorka. Here we lurnz somfin real important. All de cheifs rids a wolf in a race. Dey paints dem wif war paint in de clan colours. So Ghaz is ridin a black one, Da Evils Sunz is ridin a red one. De Evil Sunz wins. So we lurn dat fings dat are painted red go fasta dan any otha colour. We has all the boots of our troops pained red, and order dat all wolf riders what come around latta have red paint on em. We even paints de rocks for our Cat-a-pults red so dey will hit fasta. Den Ghaz has de Evil Sunz chief kilt for beatin' him in da race. (700 IC)

Somemore boyz from Gorkamorka goes out to make a new city, and so does some from Whump! Dey is all wearin red shoose, so dey will get dere before da westerlanda's do. (710 IC)

We makes a Harbor in Death Skul, cause we can do dat now. Dey start eatin lotsa fish, and smell even worse dan normal. (730 IC)

Dem ugly stoopid stinky gits, da westerlandas, makes a city on our land! Gaz is mighty mad bout dat. Him say we supposta go afta Wooden elfs first when it's fightin time, but mebby we can take that westerlanda city firsty. It's called Bergbres or somefin'. Dem araby people ain't done nofin to us, so we think dey don't know we kilt their guy dey sent to us. Either dat or dey is real stoopid. Boss gonna think on what we are gonna do next. (740 IC)
 
We makes city of Green Death. Dat will be de last one we makes till we kills some wooden elfs or westalandas. (740 IC)

Wooden elfs starts ta walk thru our landz. We not sure if we should makes em leave or not. We ain't tuff enuf to bonk 'em just yet. Ghaz decides do ignores it fur now. I lurn de secrets of Construction from da Green Library. Dis means we can build new stuff lika a watta whirly bit. Dat will help townz grow bigga. (around 760 IC)

We lurnz da secret ob Civul Survis. Not sure what dis means at furst. Me figurs it out tho. We can build little palaces in our townz, and put some one in dere what can bonk and kill folks like Ghaz. We hafta watch dat dey don't get too big fur der britches though. (The origen of this expression is interesting. As orcs get more powerfull and aggressive, they actually grow larger, thus the bosses are the biggest. If an underling plans on challenging the boss, they'll start to grow larger, hence getting "too big for his britches" and the boss knows he's about to face a challenge.)
We lurnz how ta make betta ships too, but we'z gonna need some good wood for ta make em. We decides to check in on da Arabayn peoples. Dey is thinkin' we's at war. We tells em dat we don't want ta bonk dem, we wants ta bonk elfs. Dey still wantin the art of Story Makin' (Literature) so we tells em we'll teach em dat if dey teach us how to set up shop in anotha country (Emissaries) Dey say dey will do dat and we won't be at war no longa. We teach story makin' to da gobbo's too fur some gold. (780 IC)

We hears dat de Red Eye Gobbo's wuz de first to see de Chaos Moon. We kinda sad bout dat, we decide to bonk dem, though dat will take a long time. We sees a Ugly brown boat and soon afta we hears dat a place called Kislev has made da Great Bazaar or somefin. Not sure what dat mean, but me thinkin' dat dis brown boat are dese Kislevs fings. Nope, dat brown boat is fulla red eye gobbos. We pees in da watta where dey are goin cause we mad dat we diden't find sombuddy new. (800 IC)

We lurnz how ta train da boyz so what dey can fight betta. We starts buildin Bareaxes around da townz so we can have 'ard boyz. We can make Da chariot's too now. We gonna make lotsa dem and paint dem red and den roll on inta de elf lands. We also start makin' som boats. Dem ar gonna go out and look for more pee-phul dat we can make give us stuff. (830 IC)

We finish up some ob dem bareaxes and start makin some chariots. Ghaz has decided we is gonna get da westalanda's out o' our lands before we smash de wooden elfs. (840 IC)

Dem Red eye gobbos make a city down on our souf land, near de westalanda city. We don't want ta bonk our broddas, but we is gonna haf ta soon. (860 IC)

We declares war on da westalanda's and move too wolfie riders and tree ob our gobbo archa's near dat town of Bergbres. We gonna take it ova and make all dem 'ommies lurn ta talk orc. (870 IC)

De Albionese city of Lowdynoise, or somefin' like dat, makes Da Moot. Fine, if dey gots a fettish fur de short harry onz, let 'em have 'em. We atatcks Bergbres. Dey killz one ob our wolfies and one ob our archas. We kills one ob dere spears and one ob der archas. Dere am still a spear-man dere, we kilz him soon. (880 IC)

De arabyan city of Lasheik makes da great forge. We not fink it's so great. Dat spear-man in Bergbres killz our archa gobbos, and we moves in more wolfies ta kilz him. He are dead tuff, if he was a orc we'd make him a Gen-ah-rul. (890 IC)

We lurnz da secrets ob Trade. Turns out our old systom of beatin' each otha up and takin stuff isn't da best. Now we use teef (he means teath) ta trade fur fings. It kind ob like old way, cause if you runz out, you can always beet some dumb orc up and take his teef. Bad Moonz makes a boat. We gonna go luk for otha lands wif it. We load up some Jolly Orc Pirats on it and send it off. Dat stoopid Spearman kilz one ob our wolfies and makes da next one run. We gonna send so much stuff dere, he won't know what hit him. We attack a westalanda boat wif our new one and dey sink it. Da orc navy not last so long. We needz gud wood ta make gud boats. (900 IC)
 

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Da Chaos peoples makes anotha city near dat Bergabees one. We gonna hab ta take dat one too. Da Kislevs city of Kobrin makes Vaul's Anvil. Wonder whut dat does? Da Blak Death strikes Death Skull. Da orcs is turnin black and dyin. We not sure why, we kills some snots trying ta appease Gork an' Mork. We kilz a westalanda spear-man what was near Evil Sunz and capture some workas too. (920 IC)

Da Kislevs city of Omenstink makes da Lighthouse of Manaan. Now dey can have fasta boats. Dat seem stoopid, all dey had ta do was paint em red and dey woulda gone fasta. (930 IC)

Some westalandas attack Death Skul, but we killz em. Da chaos Demand Irrigation, we tells em ta shove it. Dey prove dey is nofin but week weedy gits and don't make war on us. We finally capture dat city of Bergbres. One ob our wolfie riders becomes 'leet. And since a red wolf chariot did some bonkin, we is in a golden age. We puts an orc incharge of Bergbres. We makes peace wif da westalanda's. All we wanted waz dat one city. Next we gotsta take da goblin city and de chaos city, den we can get ta bonkin some elfs. We notice dere is too skel-e-tons and 6 spidas next to dat chaos city of Dubhz what dey made in de south of orc penensula. We gonna leave dat alone and go afta goblinz fur now. (950 IC)

Araby Demandz Irrigation. We gettin sick of dis. All we wants ta do is smash de wooden elfs, Ghaz has a cunnin' plan fur dat, and eberyboddy else wantsa peace o' us. We gives it to 'em, but soon we gonna really give it to em. Dey next on de list afta de goblin city, and de chaos city and de wooden elfs. we got a long list. Bad Moonz makes one ob dem Bareaxes so dey can make gud troops now. We sellz da gobbo's Irrigation for lotsa gold. We gonna bonk 'em soon. Dey gots no busness runnin' round wif out orcs ta boss em. (960 IC)

Snakebite makes a bareaxes, it gud to have lotsa dem. (970 IC)

Gorkamorka makes a marketplace. Dat am a place ta trade teef for stuff. Da citizens o' Gorkamorka are happy bout dat. Dey can gets lotsa squig jelly at de marketplace.(980 IC)

We declare war on da gobbos. Our boyz get too excited and when we kills da gobbos at Narslag dey destroy da city. We send a settla dere ta make an orcy city. We tries ta make peace wif da gobbos. We only wanted dem ta get off our land, but dey is snotty and won't talk at us. (990 IC)

Da Gobbos lands an archa near Bugabres. We gonna bonk it. We killz dat archa. dey shoulda sent more dan dat if dey wanted ta hurt us. Whump! makes a boat, it sails off west. It prolly gonna sink, but dat ok, we put lotsa gobbos on it. Da gobbo's still won't talk at us. We may hafta bash more ob dem ta get dem from bein snotty. (1010 IC)

Dat boat diden't sink! It go more westerly and don't see nuffin but watta. It gonna sink fur sure dis time. (1020 IC)

Deathskull makes one ob dem shrines. Da boat sinks. We knowed dat waz cummin. We makes da city of Black Slayerz where dat gobbo city wuz. (1030 IC)

Da sylvanian city ob Swartzhafen makes da hall ob kings. Dat are maby some place fur 'ommie kings ta sit and think bout how great dey is. We gonna burn dat down one day. We kilz too ob de skel-e-tons and one spida near dat chaos city. We gonna take dat city and we gots ta go thru dem firsty. dere are still some spidas left. (1040 IC)

We lurnz da secrut ob Magic. Now I can train otha shamans ta go cast hurty spelz. We builds a Library in Gorkamorka. Dis is a little book house dat da otha orcs can use. We gets Iron connected up. Now at furst we aint sure what ta do wif it. But if ya have de big harry cows stomp it, den mix it wif squig jelly, den cast some spelz on it, ya get a magic black body paint. We paints up some of da big orcses, and gives em biger pokers and calles em black orcs, cauz dey is black wif dat paint on 'em. Dat's whatcha do wif iron, make black orcses. We kilz some more spidas in de way, dere only too left now. Da gobbos finally get un-snotty and make peace wif us. We makes 'em give us some gold too, fur not bonkin dem eny more.(1050 IC)

We declarez war on da chaos, kill da rest ob dem spidas and attacks Dubhz. Dem chaos beasties is tuffa den we though, dey kills some wulf ridas. We gonna send more down dere and barsh em good. (1060 IC)

We lurnz da secret ob Caravans. Dat lets ya trade teef betta. We trades da westerlandas story makin' for some spices. Dese will be mixed in wif da squig jelly ta make people eben happier. We finds out dat de spice we get makes good fur puttin in beer too. (1070 IC)

We almost kilz all de beasies in Dubhz, but dere am one more left. We bash him soon. (1080 IC)

Da westalandas send someone ta talk at us. Dey wantz ta trade us de art of Seafaring fur magic and sum gold. We says no, cuz da green library gonna teach it to us soon. We finally kilz all da beasties in Dubhz, and we burnz it. We gonna makes a new one dere. We startz movin' troops ta Evil Sunz. Dat am where we iz gonna launch invasion on da wooden elfs. We done fightin da chaos, but dey is snoty and won't talk at us. (1090 IC)

Deathskul makes a boat to go look fur stuff and prolly sink. (1110 IC)

We makes city ob Skull Cleavas where dat chaos one wuz. Now de orc penensula iz secure.
 

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I like the names you've given to the cities (are those actual WH orc tribes?) and the explanation for the name Whump :) Can't wait to find out how you get on fighting the elves.
 
:) Ghaz has quite a cunning plan for attacking the elves. I hope I have time to post it tonight.

The city names are the names of orc tribes in Warhammer 40k. It's a future war game from Gamesworkshop. Ghaz and Grotsnik are characters from that as well.

Whump! I just kind of made up, cause I wanted to wright another story and coulden't think of a reason too.
 
The Cunning Plan


Five orcs said around a table made for six. The sixth chair was covered in dust and cobwebs.

Ghaz addressed his advisors, after a loud belch. "Whut we knowz bout dem Wooden Elfs?"

"I gotz dis map from de Blood Axe Komandos we sent out ta scout," Said Nazdreg.

"We knowz dem am stoopid and don't know lotsa stuf we knowz," Said Grotsnik.

"Hmmm, We also knowz dey is either made of wood, or likes wood alot," Ghaz looked down at the map the Komandos had returned with.

"Dis 'ere map show dat dey only gotz one source of Timber. Ain't dat wood?" Ghaz asked.

"Yup, dat am wood." replyed Zugzub, the orcish trade advisor.

"Me gots a plan," said Ghaz "Yoos listen up."

"We gotz ta captua dis wood 'ere. If dey is made of wood, den dey can't make no more wooden elfs ta fight us wif, and if dey ain't made of wood, den de will be real upset bout loosin der wood cuz dey likes it so much. Den when dey is all cryin' and stuff, we can clobba 'em gud, so da furst objektive ob dis war am goona be ta take da wooden elfs wood. Yoos all gotz dat?"

Zugzub piped in, "Boss, if we makes war on da wooden elfs, we may loose our supply of dat spice stuff you puts in beers, we thinks da Westalandas brings it thru wooden elf wattas."

"Den yoo make sure ta puts lots ob it away in da beer makin' place, for I don't run out ob it," Ghaz instructed.

"Nazdreg, yoo gets all da boyz togetha' what ain't guardin a town and moves 'em ta Evil Sunz, near da wooden elf boarder, we gonna go ta war soon!"

The Boss and his advisors hooted and hollered in anticipation of the carnage that would surely follow.....
 
We duh-clares war on da wooden elfs an moves a wholebunchalot ob orcses towards Naieth, dat am de closest city to uz. (1120 IC)

Da Bretonnian city of Courslight, or somefin like dat, has built Tarnhelm's keep. Wonder who dey is and what dat is? (1130 IC)


We uses our Cat-a-Pults to smash Naieth some, and den da boyz gos in. We kill lotsa elfs, but dere is still some elf workers dere, dem will fight ya, so we haveta wait to bash em next. Ghaz makes peace wif da chaos, and dey gives us some gold. He den makes M-Buh-Cees wif Chaos, Gobbos and arrabyans. Gobbos and Arrabyans is at war. Dat gud to know. (1140 IC)

Elfs drops off an Archa near Green Death. We gonna need ta smash dat soon. We capturres Naieth and puts an orc boss in dere. Da cat-a-pults helped lots dis time. (1150 IC)


Dat wood elf archa kilz de Spear-gobbo what was guarden Green Death. De golden' Age ob orcs is ober. But dat don't mean we ain't got lots more ta do. We has a Black orc kil dat Elf Archa. (1160 IC)

Wooden elfs attack Naieth but we kilz 'em. One ob our black orcs becomes 'leet. (1170 IC)

too more elf archas landz near Green Death, and lots more comes towards Naieth. Dey is standin in da desert and we gots da cat-a-pults pointed at em. dis gonna be fun. We kilz da elfs what landed near Green Death. Den we smash some elfs wif rocks outside o' Naieth. We killin lotsa elfs. Da wolf rida's finish off dat bunch, but we can see more commin' (1180 IC)

Dey don't send em all in da desert dis time, we only killz 2. (1190 IC)

We lurnz Seafaring from my book house. When we gets da Wooden Elfs wood we will make big boats ta carry us to far away places and sink. Da Elfs are movin troops towards Deathskul, so we sends out a spear man to pilliage de only road thru de mountains. Den he spits at dem. Dey gots lotsa elfs wonderin around up dere, we moves some troops outta Naieth in a cunnin' attempt to lure dem back dere so's we can smash em wif da cat-a-pults. (1200 IC)

Dem elfs sees a pass we diden't! we mays be in trouble! dem gots lotsa elfs movin in on deathskull!!!! Ghaz mad at Nazdreg bout dat. In gud news, we makes a road outta spice in Gorkamorka. It was really an accident wif de beer makin' place explodin, but it wurks out ok, we gets more money from dis Spice Road. We tries ta move some re-in-forcements inta Deathskull, and we moves da cat-a-pultz towards Sith Fascoluinne. What a dumb name fur a city dat is. (1210 IC)

We killz some elfs near Sith Fascoluinne Dey attacks death skull. We kills lots ob dem and makes lots more run away. De don't win, cuz orcs is betta dan elfs. (1220 IC)

We kilz a few wooden elfs what was sneakin' up on Naieth and move enuf orcses toward dat Sith place ta smash it. (1230 IC)

Dem wooden elfs wants ta talk ta us! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! Dat are funny! We eats de advisor dey send, and oh, we haz figured out by now dat dey ain't made of wood, dey is all squishy an' pink inside, but dey am gud to eat. Dat Kislevs city of Volksgrad makes Da Silk Route. Dat fine, we gots da spice one. We captures dat Sith town. We just gonna call it Sith cause we can't remember de last part. Dem cat-a-pults is really helpin in wars. (1240 IC)

Da elfs attacks Our forces in Sith, but we kills em. Dey kills one ob da wulf ridas though. We sad bout dat. We lurnz how ta make Wind-a-mils, I thought it up. Dem are big whirly bits what are attached ta polz dat lets ya grind stuff up eaisy, like elfs. Dis means we enter inta a new erra. Da sylvanian city of Milkadwarf, or somefin, makes Da Suiddock.
 

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I think the gods are conspiring to keep me from finishing this story.

First it was my problem with windows XP. Now the computer runs fine, but I'm having a small, um, relationship related issue that keeps me away from the computer for a while.

I WILL finish this story, though I have absolutly no Idea when. I played a few turns after that last post and got a Military Leader and made a Wolf chariot armie, which was doing some serious damage to the wooden elfs.

good luck to the other story tellers, hopefully I can be back in a few days/weeks/months to finish this one up.

Live long and prosper,
SEM
 
I am enjoying the story but I understand that real life is more important. Hope to see you finish the story at some point.
 
Great story! :) I also want to see you finnish the story...
 
I think I may be able to now...

Civ had been compleetly un-installed, but the save appears to still be there. Let me fiddle with my computer and see if i can get this game loaded. Sorry it took so long to return, but I hope to be able to finish this game now :)
 
We kills some Wooden Elf Archas dat was comin towards Evil Sunz. (1250 IC)

We killz anotha Wooden elf in our landz, and we gets a leader! We is aweful happy bout dat, and all da orcses celibrate da battle prowess of Urk Grimfang. (1260 IC)

Elfin' boat is in da watta near Whump! We moves our forces up toward dem wooden elfs. Big smashin' commin soon (1270 IC)

Wooden elfs attacks da sith city, we killz em wif our armie. My peoples wants ta build da 'Eroic Epic and War Acedemy. Fur once I agrees wif em. We starts makin dem. Da Kislevish city of Kislev makes Da Wich Hunt. We starts a big force marchin fur Athel Toralien. WE gonna take dat nextest. Me finks dat we is gonna kill all da wooden elfs and nebba make da peace wif em. (1280 IC)

Elfs killz 2 ob our wolf boyz what were marchin ' ta dat Toralien place. We killz some elfs what had landed in our borders and some what were near dat big armie ob ours. (1290 IC)

Wooden elfs attack sith again, we killz too archas dey killz one wulf boy. (1310 IC)

Dem chaos folks demand gearworks. We tells em where dey can put der threats. HIm say he don't gib second chances, but him not make war. We make note in official orc book dat de leader of dem chaos people am a panzy. we will be able ta attak dat wooden elf city soon. (1320 IC)
 

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we trades gear wurks to everybuddy and asks da Araby men to make war on da elfs. We dun't need da help, but dem araby men have a big armie and need to get some ob dem kilt. We makes rit ob passage wif dem araby men too. (1340 IC)

We lurnz artificin' from da Green Libary. We Lurnz da sport ob blud bowl too. Dat am gonna be fun. Gaz founds da Orcland Raiders team. We are gettin real smart dis year, me am glad we made dat library. We lurnz da secret ob steel too. Not the kind of steel like when you take stuff from da gobbos, we knew dat one already, dis one am fur makin harder iron. (1350 IC)

All ob a sudden dis kislev man show up and sez him sells us contact wif da stunties (he means dwarves) fur some gold. We fine wif dat. Dis kislev man know lots ob folks. Him know da Sylvanians, Pasty Elfs, Bretonians, Lizardpeople, Albioners, Amazons, Da Empire and da Tileans. We don't gonna buy more from him, we maby do soon though. Lotsa elfs attack dat Toralien place, we killz em. Da Sylvanian city of Lichburg or somefin makes Da Cursed Arm Pit.

We now gots contact wif da Sylvanians, dem musta bought it from sumbuddy. Da more peoples we knows, da more we lurnz from da green library. we buys contact wif da pasty elfs from da sylvanians. Da Stunties am backward and don't know no buddy. We givs da sylvanians lotsa gold for contact wif everybuddy. We gonna make lotsa gold sellin steel around now. We findz dat dere am aparently a whole island ob stuppid people. most ob dese new people don't know much. We decides ta build lotsa embasys so we can see where dey lives. (1360 IC)

Da world am alot bigger dan we thinked it wuz. buncha lot ob elfs move in toward Toralien. We lurnz bout Religion, The-ok-ri-cy, Fudalysm, Strategy, Dip-low-macy and Krop Rotation from da green library. Dat fing really usefull.

We kilz da elfs what wuz near Toralien. In a 'Uge taktical blunda Gaz getz our armie kilt. He fink it kan kill a lone spear man, but da elf spear man winz and we looz da furst armie. National day of mornin' am deklared. We kan make blak-ork-infantry now. we start makin 'em. (1370 IC)

We lurnz High Magic frum da library. we muvz troops north to fite another wooden elf city. (1390 IC)

Wooden elfs attak a group ob workers we was usin ta ko-nect our empire. Dey catch a stone throwa we left out oppen too. we even madda at da wooden elfs and pledge ta hurt em a whole buncha lot startin rite now. (1420 IC)

We captua's Llarendil!
 

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Thank you Psyco :)

Here's a bit more...

Da war am goin' gud fur us so far. Not many wooden elfs is left. We makes Da Heroic Epic in Gorkamorka. It am a big statue of Gaz and how great he iz. A scoutin' Chariot finds da sity ob Athel Loren. Dis am da wooden elf kapitol sity. We organize a big partry to go and smash it. (1450 IC)

A wooden elf sinks our floaty house but we hav mapped all 'round our kontinent and knows where all da ports is. (1460 IC)

Elfs attack Toralien and killz a blak ork, attak green death and kilz a gobbo spear man. We gots ta kill all dese elfs so dey don't do dat no mores. We lurnz Chivalry from my book house. Runez too. Elfs move lotsa troops toward Toralien, we ain't gotz enuf dere to defend, may habe ta retakes it latta (1480 IC)

Yup dey capturas it. Dat gonna make gaz mad. We tries to retake but kan't. We gots some re-or-ganizin ta do. (1500 IC)

We retakes Toralien back. We makes vows ta smash lotsa elfs in da neer future. Many blak ork infantry begin da march ta athel loren. Dat gonna be da deaf blow ta da wooden elfs. (1505 IC)

Da Araby men say dey don wanna fite wooden elfs any more. Dat fine, we finish em on our own. Da westa landas deklare war on da Araby men. We lurnz Battle Magic from da library. We Lurnz blak artz too. Da kislevish city ob Bolgassrad makes a gnome garden or somefin. (City of Bolgasgrad makes Al-Alnon's Garden, 1520 IC)

We renewz rit ob passage wif araby men. We lurnz Dawgs ob War, all by our selfs, not from da green book house. We can re-kruit ogres now. We haz gathad a large force near Athel-Lorin. It gonna fall soon. (1525 IC)

Wooden elfs re-kwest an audience. We bar-b-cue the messenger. We uze da new Fire Katapultz ta bombard Athel loren. Den da blak orks charge in and we captuas da kapital sity ob de wooden elfs! Dere is much celebration in Gorkamorka. (1530 IC)
 
Da wooden elfs gots only one sity left on da east cost, it am Laurelorn. It am gonna be tuff ta get too cuz dere am big mountains in da way. we gonna have ta go round dem thru da westa landa teritory. We also gonna send some ob our armies west ta finish up da elfs dere.

We shuffels our forces around ta make de attacks soon. (1535 IC)

We lurnz Edumacation. Dat am supposed ta make us smartta, but wif all da orcses lurnin how ta read, dey chase me outta da green library wantin ta reed stuff. Now I can't lurn no more from it cuz dey trashed da place!

we killz some elfs in our landz and starts a movin on der new kapitol Athel Tamarha. (1540 IC)

Da sylvanians done built da magic college in Darkenhoof or somefin. (1545 IC)

Da Seige ob Athel Tamarha beginz... Da fire cataputz rain down liquid furry ob Gork an Mork and da sity am ourz. Dere am onlie 2 wooden elf sity's dat we kan see, we planz ta takes dem soon so dere will be no more elfs. Soon we gonna haf ta start thinkin' bout hoo ta bash next. (1555 IC)

We makes da fighta's guild charta in Gorkamorka. Dis will gib us hooman merkinaries ta fight fur us. We will send dem in furst so dey will gets hit wif all da arrows, den da boyz kan klen up. We findz a thurd Elfen sity. dat mean dey habe three left. We smash it soon too. (1560 IC)

Dese westalandas is likely ta get smashed next. Dey is always sayen' "get off our landz! we iz strong and will bonk yoo!" We gonna showz dem who does da bonkin once dese wooden elfs is all ded. (1570 IC)

We starts sootin' da fire katapultz at Alwylyn. Da generalz izn't happy wif da resultz and says we gonna take anova round ob shootin before we attack. We trades da araby men wood fur gems and insense. De gems am good fur givin' ta lady orcs and da insense am good fur rollin' up an' smokin. We iz startin ta be gud pals wif dese araby men. Cuz dey is so nice ta us we decides not ta kill dem untill we kilt all da westalandas. (1575 IC)

We firez more at da elfen sity ob Alwylyn. We still not do much damage wif da shooty firey things, but da boyz kant be held back no more. Dey charges in. Not only doz we wins and captua da town, da battle am so bloody and feirce dat a great leeda arises ta lead da boyz.
 

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