Atheists and Family/Friends

The Last Conformist said:
Threw you out? That sounds somewhat dramatic - care to give some further detail?

I'm still formally a member of my parents' church, and have no plans to terminate that formality.
As soon as I moved out to go studying; there was a letter in my mailbox asking for money. Since student fees are low; I ignored them. Every so many months I received a letter that I ignored. Until one day I was basically given the choice to pay or be thrown out. I decided the money that the government paid me to pay for college fees and books was to be spend on that and not on religion. Hence I was thrown out.
 
I always find it really shocking that so many are unable to tell their families what they believe. I always felt that it is better to live a true existence than living a lie, but perhaps thats my existentialist side coming through! Perhaps being from a non-religious family makes me take for granted how hard it must be for someone who comes from a deeply religious one, or lives in a country where religion is still very important. The only time I have been insulted for my beliefs was when a Jehovas Witness came to the door and called me an "Arrogant fool", to which I replied that it was arrogant to believe in an omnipotent, omnibenevolent and omnicient being that has an interest in human lives. Most religious people I know just enjoy having friendly debates every now and again, and we respect each others choices.

I have nothing against religion and I understand that, even to us atheists, it offers a lot. However, do you not think that if your family were deeply religious they would still love you rather than disown you? Perhaps it could be seen as dishonouring your parents, but I'm sure standing up for what you believe in is more important. I am sure that those who are frightened of coming out and telling their family they are atheists can always tell their parents that they succeeded in raising a good child, one who can think for him/herself and can make his or her own choices.
 
Smidgey said:
I am sure that those who are frightened of coming out and telling their family they are atheists can always tell their parents that they succeeded in raising a good child, one who can think for him/herself and can make his or her own choices.

Unless they think that their child was brainwashed by the atheist propaganda machine out there!
 
I had a hard time with it despite my parent's being irreligious, ironically.

My mother has always been a pragmatist; her way of thinking way so convincingly toeing the line that I had no idea if she believed or not. It was only later I realized her mentality was simply being like everyone else then acting differently in your personal life. It was her mantra.

My father was a down home country boy, and didnt speak much. I was under the impression he might have religious core values minus the actual drudgery, but he told me, and I quote "It's like the army, the IRS, and anything else. They'll use you and spit you out."

It was only later I learned he was drafted into the army in the vietnam era, and subsequently chewed up and spit out; and had lost any kind of faith in a power structure of that sort; which he oft likened to the church as I got older and more outspoken in my beliefs.

My mother on the other hand advises me to keep my ideas to myself for the sake of getting along and not making life harder on me. Her idea would be if someone asked me what religion I was, it would be "whatever they want to hear".

In the realm of relationships is where it's really messed with me. Enduring annoying religious ceremonies of my signifigant others family has invoked in me a deep disgust for things of the sort, and the insinuations and bear bating verbal tactics at a pleasant dinner conversation with the parents of any of my signifigant others has almost always led to me more or less accusing them of being asleep at the nuclear button :lol:

-An Idle Mind
 
My folks weren't very religious (we went to a Unitarian church for a while). My brother and I are both atheists. It's not an issue.
 
Rik Meleet said:
As soon as I moved out to go studying; there was a letter in my mailbox asking for money. Since student fees are low; I ignored them. Every so many months I received a letter that I ignored. Until one day I was basically given the choice to pay or be thrown out. I decided the money that the government paid me to pay for college fees and books was to be spend on that and not on religion. Hence I was thrown out.
A church charging membership fees? They must be sure of their sex appeal ...

The churches I have any first-hand experience of are way too desperate not to see their membership fall further to even contemplate issuing such ultimata.
 
My grandmother was aghast when I mentioned that I was an athiest and told her to prove that her god exists. I thought she was going to slap me. But she just went back to cooking and grumbing under her breath.
 
aneeshm said:
Hindu Agnostic here . Nobody in my family really cares . Nor do any of my relatives or friends .

I have trouble understanding how a Hindu could be anything other than agnostic. I mean, the concept of 'proof' from evidence just doesn't exist in your world-view ... does it?
 
Believe it or not I was athiest once as a kid. I would say stuff like "Pft I don't go to church because I don't believe in God" and "I don't need to pray at the table." And my parents were alright with that! They just let me do my own thing.
 
It's never been an issue in my family...

in fact, I would be very surprised to find out that anybody in my extended family under the age of 60 (about 30 people) is actually religious.

Funny how that works out, eh?
 
My gran is pretty Uber-Christian, I just haven't told her that I lost my faith. I figure I'd rather not spend what time I have left with her being perpetually 'saved'.
 
The Last Conformist said:
A church charging membership fees? They must be sure of their sex appeal ...

The churches I have any first-hand experience of are way too desperate not to see their membership fall further to even contemplate issuing such ultimata.
I guess you're not a member of the Swedish church then. The fee is a percentage added to your taxes, and there's no way of avoiding paying the church unless you quit, which is basically the same as Rik said. I'm not sure how it works with other churches here though.
 
A good portion of my extended family is pretty religious. I don't value their company or conversation so I don't press the issue.
 
I was baptized, and did the whole catholic rites up to the last one, but mostly more to please my family than anything else - I never had faith.
Now with my close family, they pretty much now I'm an atheist. My mom, who is the most religious of us, still expected me to take part in the religious events of my brothers and sisters. I did, mostly because pretending was better than bitter fighting. But now I find it more and more annoying to pretend. Family moment, sure, but I really feel like an hypocrite standing in a Church at Christmas. Good thing I'm an ocean away now :p
I'm not sure where my dad stand. He was raised in a strictly catholic environment but had some... troubles while in catholic school (yes, THESE kind of trouble).
My brother had to baptize his kids because his wife told him to do it for her grandmother.
Again, people just pretend in order to preserve family ties. I really hope I won't force my religious views on my kids. You should not baptize kids just for pretense.
 
leonel said:
Believe it or not I was athiest once as a kid. I would say stuff like "Pft I don't go to church because I don't believe in God" and "I don't need to pray at the table." And my parents were alright with that! They just let me do my own thing.

So what are you now?
 
My parents never asked. They just assume I'm Bhuddist.

People in school just assume I'm Christian. Except when they ask, then I either ask them why they want to know, and say that it's my buisness, or I just say I'm athiest, and prepare for an onslaught.
 
I am atheist, but an apathetic one at that. I feel fine with labeling myself an agnostic or even a weak deist. But I just avoid the topic.

My close family is mostly irreligious. My father is a lapped Catholic, and is quite bitter about it, whereas my mother, despite being raised in a church, is also irreligious. My bother is the same; all three of us make fun of the fundies.

My extended family, however, is a different matter. My grandmother would read her Bible every day. My uncle works and lives at a church (one which I visit frequently a couple of times a year) with his family. An second-aunt is deep in it: she supports Bush, disapproves of "monkey design" and believe the US went to Iraq to "set up democracy and convert them to Christianity".
A close family friend is also a fundie, but she is very nice. She is married to an atheist/agnostic; his brother is very anti-religious. A less close family friend is also a fundie, but is completely for his nut. He even wears on the close family friend.

I also know a Muslim friend, whos family is most irreligious (expect for an odious anti-semitism). My friend's sister, married a man from the old country, who follows all the dictates of Islam convent to him. My friend asked if I believed in God; I said I did not, but changed it when pressed. I don't need the trouble.
 
Smidgey said:
Where are you from Tenochtitlan?

Anyway, as for me, I have already said that I am from an atheist family. However, when we were having a discussion in religion education (a long time ago :) ) the teacher, out of curiosity asked people to raise their hands to see which religion they followed, if any. There were only two atheists in the class (which is surprising, considering in my country only 12% of the population are actively religious). It caused a lot of heated debate but no name calling or anything. I find it easy to tell people that I don't believe in God,but I often wonder what it would be like if I lived somewhere else.

Saudi Arabia, 98% or more believers, 85-95% practice :crazyeye:
 
Top Bottom